Hostage, Semonic Dtate, ø/å/æ "Generic Demon Lord" said a ducc with a hoodie and a beanie "You have successfully repress the Berians 69420 times since your takeover. For your reward, you will receive this..."



"...Photograph of a Panther that I nicked from Wikipedia"

"I am happy" replied the Demon Lord as a comment.

"But property is theft so you will go to (Anatian) gulag"

"Fair enough"

"Is he allowed to do that?" said an ogre.

"Our lord seems complicit though" said another.

...

i forgor what game this supposed to be, Adobe Flash Player, jeg/kneppede/din mor Soldiers of the FDF (not to be confused with the Suomen Puolustusvoimat) stand outside in the very warm weather of Svarher.

"Report!" shouted the officer.

"Sir! We have successfully procured more Stridsvagn 122s!" responded the soldier.

"How many?"

"5000!... pieces..."

"You bought them from IKEA didn't you?"

"Yes sir"

"God damn it private, you know we have to built them up with instructions!"

"Don't worry sir! We have a Gladahjulish man in our company!"

"Who?"

Not even a second later, a man from the land of meatballs assembled an entire tank.

"Oh that guy"

*swedish nonsense while mf tanks get built within seconds*

...

On the other side, Reslania grow stronger and started expanding but then Varika who was allied with La Ferdina started attacking Reslania.

Verdecana, La Ferdina and even many other Southern Gestrae countries helped Varika against Reslania. They all intended to destroy Reslania completely. So Reslania had a very large amount of enemies but Allah- *cough* Lore Ducc protected Reslania with around 3,000 black fighter jets.

And then the war against Reslania began and with the help of Lore Ducc, Reslania came out victorious against their enemies. Reslania conquered all of Varika as well as Hendrolis and Saogaulia.

And once Reslania claimed victory against Varika, Geschnokea and Enselsland also became allies of Reslania. Then Reslania jumped on the Southern Gestrae by the will of Lore Ducc and they fought both superpowers using the powerful black fighter jets and Reslania attacked in such a way that no one could stop them.

After defeating both of the superpowers, Reslania became a superpower and secluded themselves from the world, and Reslania regained control of Southern Gestrae and KUG countries. All of those areas became a part of Reslania and they started rebuilding those areas.

And the true Lore of prophet Duccwriting started establishing in all those areas and peace finally prevailed where once the greatest war of mankind took place.

*dream ends*

...

Somewhere in Jugoflašija A Sakatlutkan man meets a Cernran man online with their faces shown.

"monke noise"

"Yes, but I-I am more white than you, you look Gypsy, I am... blond hair. Blond hair I have, you Gypsy"

"That means that someone fucked your mother, that is Cernran but your father is not. Ho-ho. Your mother is a whore"

*Laughs Cernranly*

"And she got fucked by someone. You are weak sperm, you are weak sperm. This is the strong sperm. Is the Sakatlutkan god, ogey? Sakatlutkan god"

"If you- If you have- If you have Sakatlutkan god you would have win but you lose"

*Laughs Cernranly*

"Lose where? Lose where?"

"You lose! Why is... Why is Grada Salena... this but... euuugggh"

...

Happy Wheels, Adobe Flash Player, hvad fanden/er/dette? A man just stand in a square in a major city of Ducc's ripoff of Sverige. As he stood quietly, he looked around him, to the left, to the right. At last he looks in front of him, took a breath of the air of the city of Stockholm Syndrome and uttered his words:

"Jeg ar i Gladahjulige, det ar dajligt her, jeg kan lide det" (I am in Gladahjuland, it is nice here, I like it)

*Gets jailed for 'being drunk'*

"wotdefok"

...

Some fkin Flash base in Esterria "Uwauwa-ah DANSA MED OSS, KLAPPA ERA HÄNDER! GÖR SOM VI GÖR, TA NÅGRA STEG ÅT VÄNSTER!"

*cuts to an Esterrian man trying to sleep with flashing colors and muffled music in the background*

Muffled: "LYSSNA OCH LÄR, MISSA INTE CHANSEN! NU ÄR VI HÄR MED CARAMELLDANSEN!"

...

Lesser Maiferje, Le Ferd, Bomb/Bel/grade "Your majesty" said a noble as he stand right in front of the empress on her throne "What is the knowledge thou has gathered today?"

"I'm..." muttered Reine.

"You are what?"

"I'm Albanian!"

*Vine boom + Marshi i UČK + La Ferdina = Lalbania*

...

"Oh boy" said a Kormian visiting Agevær "What a lovely day to be a regular tourist in this state of islands! I sure hope nothing WANKY happens to my lifesavings!"

Entre fees

Air

Transport

Souvenirs

Food

Terrible mistake of going to a SPAR

Gas

Alcohol from Keltsmasjon

Rain tax

Alcohol 2

1810 tax

Hunting license

Terribly violating road law

Speeding by 1 km/h

(insert fking pansars for highway patrols)

Ageværan prison (is nice)

Entertainment

...

"A man has fallen into the river in Naeslagt City!" yelled someone idfk "Start the new rescue helicopter!"

3000 landmines of Tilenogtyve

"Hey!" said the pilot.

"Build the helicopter" as a giant pair of hand that came out of nowhere swiftly put the pieces together, resulting in a complete aircraft "And off to the rescue!" as the same giant hand would guide the chopper.

"Prepare the lifeline!" le thing unfolds "Drop the stretcher!" stretcher drops "And make the rescue!"

*Cuts to the guy already in stretcher for some reason*

"The new Emergency Collection from Naeslagt City!"

...

Somewhere at the border between Reslania and Varika, a Flash soldier stands on his watchtower at night, keeping alert of anything that comes every now and then.

"...Can hear Variks over the edge..." he mumbled to himself as he listened to the surrounding sounds.

"Vakle?" said another soldier below calling his nickname.

"Yep?"

"I've received some grave news from my radio..."

"Which is?"

"Cyanide found the napalm"

"Oh fuck me..." the soldier looked back up as he knew what would happen next...

...

BGM: Jefferson Airplane - Somebody To Love

We now enter a montage of the Forsvaret napalming the crap out of Varikan forests with aircrafts such as the Gripen, F-15E's, Super Hornets, and Harriers and the re-activated Phantoms and Viggens.

...

Earn to die, grzmotiaKawa Antoniak the local police officer takes a sip of his refreshing coffee.

"This is fine..." he said.

3000 rioters of Zarabiaćskonać

...

Einskirka, Esterria "...What is ma-ri-yua-na?" Queen Marie III questioned to herself as she look down on a paper "Is it something good...? Ah nevermind then, I guess we just have to find out ourselves"

She then signs on the paper, and by signing she had essentially legalized marijuana.

BREAKING NEWS: Weed consumption in the Commonwealth has gone up 420%!

...

i forgot what this section is supposed to be.

fk it have an animation I made

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

also join our discord: https://discord.gg/UqgavrsYUd

...

How Flashia ended up like it did in this bs story A ducc in a grey hoodie would sit behind the monitor of his PC, opening up a file showing the entire map of the 'original world'. He then selected the entirety of the Federal Republic of Flashia, right click it and select cut cause he's a dumbass and don't know the hotkey for it.

The ducc then close the file, then opening up a new one called 'source_is_i_made_it_the_fuck_up', where he would then right click into a body of water North of the Gestraen continent and Ctrl-V'd.

Fin(land)

...

In the aftermath of the Hatemean Civil War ending with the victory of the Monarchist, the country was finally united under the moniker of the Hatemean Kingdom with Tibor III, who was exiled along with his family after the communist coup d'etat that resulted in what was once the People's Republic of Hatemea, ascending to the throne in 1989.

From there, the restored kingdom sought after a rather imperialistic policies, participating in a series of border disputes as it claimed territories particularly from the at the time weakening Federal Republic of Flashia.

It claimed some patches of land as their rightful sovereign territories, but did not go so far as getting the military involved, with the claims being more propagandized than was there any real actions taken.

That would change right after the Southern Flashia Wars, a bloody series of war fought in the aforementioned countries that broke out in the wake of the 1993 Economic Crisis.

The wars were... rather confusing to say the least as instead of respective insurgent groups against the federal forces, it was (sometimes) a free-for-all sort of war with the rebel groups having been clashed with each other multiple times.

Nonetheless, Kawagrzmotia, Sakatlutka, Cernra, Nexucia would manage to kick Flashia's troops out and declare independence in 1998, solidifying the fall of the First Federal Republic of Flashia.

In Southern Wars' aftermath, the Hatemean Royal Armed Forces on the order of King Tibor III began to make preparations in discreet for what's about to come.

In mainstream media, many people began to take notice of the increased rate of conscription in Hatemea, an unusual amount that is. In a press conference resulted after, the Ministry of Defense claimed the rise of men being drafted into the Armed Forces are only measures to ensure that the Kingdom was fully prepared to defend itself against rising threats.

Some points out that Hatemea might be staging for an invasion of the states that are still weakened even as of 2003 in terms of defense and economy, while others did not bat an eye, accepting that Hatemea is only doing this for their own good.

Unfortunately for them, the former proved to be correct in their observation.

In August of 2005, the HRAF suddenly declared a 'special military operation' to solidify their existing territorial claims and launched a full-scale invasion of Kawagrzmotia and nearby Sakatlutka in different phases.

Phase one involved strikes carried out by the Hatemean Royal Air Forces, using YeG-21 (MiG-21), YeG-29 (MiG-29), Ra-17 (Su-17), Le-16 (Tu-16), taking the 2 former Flash states by surprise and their air defense (fighter jets and anti-air) left crippled while the Hatemeans took relatively light causalties, only losing 3 of their Le-16s and 1 YeG-21.

Phase two was the full ground and air assault the next day, with Fy-17s (Mi-17), Fy-24s (Mi-24s) alongside Super Puma helicopters while the ground forces stuck along with T-72s and also T-55s, although some Abrams that they received in 1995 were also reported to be part of the invading forces.

While theoretically having much more advanced military, as they inherited equipment such Leopard 2s (Pansar 82s), F-4 Phantom II and Viggens from Flashia's military after the wars, Kawagrzmotia and Sakatlutka's defense forces were lackluster to say the least, and despite dealing a lot of casualties to the invaders, they still lost slightly over half of their territory by January 2005.

Hatemea was also condemned and sanctioned by much of the international community during this time, but Križkod couldn't care less as they already had a complex network of smuggling equipment and spare parts into the Kingdom that was formed in the earlier staging phase.

After having such successful campaigns against the two former Flash states, the Hatemean Kingdom would go on the defensive which would mark phase 3, staging for another to the East for 3 months. After having built up their forces, they crossed the border into Cernra and Kiralsia.

For the former, they were again quite successful as they were able to overwhelm the small Armed Forces of the Republic of Cernra, gaining significant territories in the process.

For the latter however, the same could not be said. During the campaign against Kiralsia, the HRAF was only able to capture a small portion of land before stagnating as they took heavier casualties than expected.

It was initially thought that the military there was well-prepared. But upon closer look by the intelligence, it was revealed that Flash troops were there. And it's not the special forces ones, there were actual sizeable regular troops formation.

As it turned out, Kiralsia was never independent to begin with, only having more autonomy which was later made official by the 2nd Federal Republic Constitution.

The beliefs that Kiralsia had been independent stem from a severe case of misinterpretation by news media. And it's because of the mistranslation, Hatemea had essentially invaded Flashia, resulting in the Federal Republic officially joining the war on the side of Kawagrzmotia, Sakatlutka and Cernra on April of 2005. During this time, Nexucia has also declared that it will send troops to fight against the Hatemean invaders.

This would kick off another phase called the Reunification Wars, although it wasn't actually called that until some time after the conflict. This would also mark the first time that Flashia fought against another conventional military since the Global War.

After having repelled further Hatemean incursion into Kiralsia, the Flash Defense Forces quickly mobilized most of its troops in Kiralsia with the support of UNAS (Union of Nations And States) to the fight with Nexucian tanks already crossing the border into Cernra.

3 days later, AFRC, Nexucian Army and the FDF mounted a counteroffensive with the former two pushing from the North and the latter striking from the South. The Flash would go first to divert the Hatemean's attention before the Cernran and Nexucian forces pushed forward, enacting a pincer maneuver with the goal of joining their Flash counterparts at Dvojšeć (Dvoy-shets), the Northern Eastern town under the invader's control.

To achieve this, the three armies gathered the largest armored formation with the best units they can find, such as the 217th Pansarjæger Brigade of the FDF that got deployed to Kiralsia earlier in 2004 in response to the invasion of Kawagrzmotia and Sakatlutka with the support of the available airpower. The two states would also help by frequently disrupting supply lines using some limited airpower and artillery.

With the factor of majority of supplies and reinforcement not being able to arrive, the Hatemean units in Cernra took quite a heavy blow as the offensive was underway. While the Coalition would also take casualties, the HRAF's losses compared to them were abysmal, causing morale to plummet in the process.

With nothing else they could do, the coalition achieved air superiority and 5 days into the offensive, Nexucian-Cernran forces linked with their Flash counterparts in Dvojšeć, completely surrounding units such as the 90th Division amongst others.

In the aftermath, all the surrounded units would fly the white flags with the coalition also capturing a series of equipment, most notably 15 Super Puma helicopters that were actually the entire fleet of the type in the Royal Air Force at the time.

This also caused the HRAF to completely retreat from Western Kiralsia in its entirety as they scrambled to save the forces in Cernra in vain.

After the Counteroffensive in Cernra, the coalition turned its attention to the West, more specifically Sakatlutka. To prepare for their deployment into the next former state, Flashia and 2 others re-consolidated their forces in Cernra using the equipment both from mainland Flasia and those captured from the encirclement of Hatemean troops.

They would do this for 2 weeks, and on the second week of building up, they would finally cross over to Sakatlutka from the border, directly striking the Eastern part of Sakatlutka where the HRAF are holding their ground.

Despite getting dealt with a lot of casualties, mostly Cernran, the Coalition still managed to make substantial gain while contesting the airspace over Sakatlutka. The HRAF would respond back by diverting some of its troops to Sakatlutka, only to put them back to Kawagrzmotia as this state would take this opportunity to take back some of its lost territories in the May Offensive.

To make things worse for the Kingdom, attacks behind the frontline caused by partisans became a lot more frequent as supply lines are constantly getting sabotaged, further preventing more supplies to fuel their war effort.

These factors combined would force Hatemea to go on a defensive for the rest of the war, sometimes retreating from occupied territories if the situation isn't favorable for their Armed Forces.

As for the Coalition, now renamed the Webtanan Coalition which got the informal nickname of 'Water Counter' due to their acronym, they would retake more and more land as weeks, months go by. However, this rate of gains would not last long as they took smaller and smaller patches of land with the Hatemeans being more experienced as the war goes on.

Eventually, the frontline went completely static by the first half of 2007, now have devolved into small-scale skirmishes and artillery duel. The strait between the Southern former states and Flash mainland would also see some combat actions at sea. But again, it wasn't notable and would not contribute much to the status quo.

No one was gaining land, nor losing them. Despite both sides' effort and the UNAS' aid to the Webtanan Coalition, the line would not budge except for a few cases. Even then, they were very small incremental changes at best with the Coalition only holding 58% of Sakatlutka and exactly half of Kawagrzmotia.

Back home in Hatemea, while there were some uncertainty about the war, many of the Hatemean populous believed they could hold the line for longer, even going as far as holding the hope that they could make a comeback, taking back what is claimed as their rightful land. It's a result of propaganda campaigns that, sadly for King Tibor III, wouldn't last long.

On the night of 28th of April, 2008, residents living in the small Hatemean region of Trakluc (T-ra-kluts), which was used for artillery strikes against Kiralsia, woke up only to suddenly see a lot of tanks bearing insignia of a red-white-red angled square on the streets.

Confusion took hold amongst civilians and military alike, as they were completely unprepared for a force of such size, being an entire division to turn up right at their doorstep.

It was once thought the Flashia in particular concentrated its forces in Sakatlutka where they were notable for hitting hard most notably in terms of air force. But in reality, the actual Flash presence in the ex-Flash state is way less than anyone could think of with the amount of troops that was thought to be in Sakatlutka is actually concentrated in Kiralsia around the border.

It's because of this and the Kingdom's inability to realize this, opting to have much their forces in Sakatlutka instead, Trakluc along with elements and equipment of the HRAF was essentially lost with little to no resistance, and the effects were tremendous.

Not only the Coalition managed to secure a strategic location against Hatemea, but the population began to see their country's war effort in a bad light. Nationwide protests were orchestrated in various regions of the Hatemean Kingdom, at a scale that overwhelmed the government security forces.

On 16th of June, 2008, out of pressure from both the civilian populous and the disgruntled military right outside his palace, Tibor III stepped down from his throne with the government becoming a military-controlled Transitional Council. A week later, while the Transitional Council is brought to the negotiation table in Fekrayina, they appointed the abdicated monarch's daughter, Rina who is much more moderate as his successor.

A month later, 24th day of July, the peace treaty was ratified in the Fekrayinan city of Porivlka, officially ending the war. This treaty would see Hatemea withdrawing its entire forces from its occupation of Kawagrzmotian and Sakatlutkan territories, while giving up its previous territorial claims at the same time.

The Hatemean Kingdom would also have to pay hefty reparations, de-militarize a half of its large army whilst giving up a part of its territory, that being the Trakluc region to Flashia where it would be annexed into Kiralsia.

In total, the war caused around 190,000 deaths and displaced millions of people in the affected regions with the economy of Kawagrzmotia, Sakatlutka and Cernra taking a deep dive which would be the driving force of the subsequent reunification of these states along with Nexucia back into Flashia.

Relations between Hatemea, since 2008 a constitutional monarchy under the crown of Rina I, and Flashia remained strained until 2014 where relations were normalized after Flash and Hatemean troops fought alongside each other for the first time in the UNAS-mandated Eastern Mediana War.

This war was also notable for the second time that some equipment such as the JA 37 Viggens, Pbv 302, AM135 (NM135) would be thrown into combat while newer equipment, notably Gripens, Strv 122 (no official Flash designation at the time) and CV90 would be baptized in fire for the first time ever.

[Actual lore drop btw, even though this chapter is a joke, I'm genuinely serious about that]

...

happy being an april fool day