Seb

"Welcome back man" Jasper pats me on the back when I get to the clubhouse.

"Thanks, good to be home."

"Church" prez calls from the doorway.

"Here" I hand Shane my phone. "If ari calls come knock on the door."

"She came back?"

"Yeah" I deadpan. I saw the way Shane looks at her, if he thinks he's got a chance in hell with my girl he's out his fucking mind.

"How is she?"

"She's fine, why?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Not really my buisness to tell"

"When I ask you something about my old lady you better start fucking talking prospect."

"Does she know she's your old lady?"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" I sneer in his face. He's silent so I ask again. "Why should I be worried about ari?"

He sighs before he speaks "I don't know. When we were in texas she was having bad nightmares, screaming in her sleep. She was having panick attacks, but she wouldn't talk about it. I was just checking if she was getting better now that she's home."

"Seb church" Knight yells.

As I make my way to church Shane's words are playing in my head. She had one panick attack infront of me. She has been off since we got home yesterday, distant. I could tell this morning by looking in her eyes that something is wrong. Shes trying to hide something. As soon as this meeting is over im going to figure out what.

"Alright, let's get this started." Prez says "sebs back now, we have some leads on the remaining men that were apart of the kidnapping. I want these guys ASAP. Other chapters are helping as well."

"I can hit the road prez, just give me the word." Eli says with clenched fists on the table.

"I'm hearing from our new Mexico charter that they have been spotted. Their dumbasses decided not to split up. Eli, you take snow, slayer, and have Shane drive the van. There will be rooms ready for you at the club house there."

"Okay" Eli nods.

"This is our main focus we need to get f so we can focus on other buisness. Sketch, how's the tattoo shop coming along?"

"Good prez. Well be ready to open in a week. I have a few local artists I'm looking at to employ."

"Okay, good"

For the next hour the club discusses the bar, club, and gym. We're making money in all areas which is good. The last thing on the agenda is about the bratva.

"There's been a threat on bratva wife in new york" prez says looking around the table.

"What does that have to do with us?" Knight asks

"We owe nikolia a favor for bringing us Marcus."

"What do they want us to do? We're on the other side of the country." Jasper speaks up.

"I'm not sure yet, nikolia said he will call when he has a plan in place."

We all nod in understanding whatever this plan is I don't think any of us will like it.

"Anything else?" Prez asks. No one speaks "Okay let's get to it then" He slams down the gavel and we all stand to leave. "Seb wait" He calls as the room clears.

"What's up prez?" I ask when it's just the two of us.

"How are ari and charlie settling?"

"Okay I think, charlie is really happy to be home. Prez I'm gonna be honest with you, ari seems... off."

"What do you mean?"

"Not just since we been back, but since she escaped. I thought she just needed some time to adjust after being held hostage for so long, but I don't know. It seems to be getting worse. She's more distant than ever. Shane says she was having nightmares and panic attacks all the time in texas. She had one infront if me too. I think she might need to talk to someone."

"Yeah, I noticed too." He sighs "she wouldn't tell me everything that happend there." He shakes his head. "Go home to her. Make sure she's okay, I'll talk to peyton tonight and see if we can get her some help."

"Okay prez"

"Keep in contact seb, let me know what's going on."

"No problem." I tell him before leaving church.

I get my phone from Shane before hopping on my bike and heading back home. It's been almost two hours since I left now.

The house is quiet when I enter. I make my way upstairs and find charlie sleeping in her bed alone. I search for ari. I find her in the bathroom connected to my bedroom. She's sitting on the shower floor fully clothed with water on, her arms wrapped around her knees as water cascades over her. I stick my hand in the shower to shut it off and realize the water she's in is ice cold. I quickly shut it off "Angel, what are you doing?" I can hear the break in my own voice my heart splitting in two when she looks up at me with panicked blood shot eyes.

"Ari, come on baby, we have to get you out of these clothes."

She starts sobbing. "It hurt so bad sebby"

"I know my angel. Let me help you please ari, talk to me."

"I can't" she shakes her head.

"Come on let's get you warmed up."

"I just want it to stop. I want the flashbacks and panick attacks to stop. Why won't they stop?! How long is this going to last? I can't keep doing this sebby. I can't, I can't, I can't" she cries out.

I wrap my arms around her freezing cold soaking wet body. "It's going to be okay my love." I tell her as I lift her and walk her over to the counter setting her down on it.

"No it won't. I just want it to stop. Please make it stop."

"I need to get you out of these clothes baby okay?"

"O-okay" she hiccups

When I get her fully undressed I wrap a towel around her and carry her to my room setting her down on the bed. I grab her some sweat pant and a Hoodie out of ny dresser before going back over to her and dressing her. I don't have a hair dryer here. So I do the next best thing I can think of I grab another towel and wrap her hair before pulling down the covers and laying her in my bed. I quickly change into dry clothes.

"You're okay my sweet girl. I'm right here. Let me take your pain." I say laying next to her pulling the blankets over both if us and pull her close to my body. "Baby, please talk to me. Tell me what I can do. I'll do anything, please." I beg her.

I can't stand to see my strong girl break like this. Shes breaking right here in my arms and I dont know what the fuck to do about it. "I'm broken sebby, they broke me."

"You're not broken, ari. You're the strongest woman I know. You're the best mother I know. You're aloud to feel however You're feeling, but that does not mean you are broken. You have went through things no one should ever go through, you made it baby. You're still here. I need you to keep fighting. Charlie needs you. I need you."

"You don't need me seb. You need someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Charlie deserves a mom who is happy who wants to continue to breath, and I don't seb. I don't want to take another breath it hurts too much."

"We need you baby. We need you here. You made it out of that place for a reason, you and charlie are here for a reason."

"M-maybe I just made it out so charlie could be here with you. Maybe that's the end of my story. That's all I want seb. I just want charlie to be loved, protected, and happy. You can do all that, she doesn't need me."

"Angel, we need you. Charlie needs you. That little girl loves you more than anything in this world. She just wants her mommy to be happy. Let me get you help my love. Let's find someone who can help you realize how important you are. We'll never make it to the next chapter if you end our story now. I need so many more chapters with you." I tell her hugging her tighter like she could feel through me the truth of my words.

"I think I need help sebby" she cries. "I don't think I can do this on my own anymore."

"Okay baby. We will get you help. We'll find the best doctor in the world for you. We are going to get through this okay? Whatever you need just ask."

"Can you just hold me for now?"

"Ofcourse."

"Thank you sebby" she finally starts to calm down.

"Anything for you, anything ari." I tell her and kiss the top of her head. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"I don't want to have a nightmare."

"I'm right here. I'll stay right here until charlie wakes up from her nap okay?"

"Okay" she nods.

When her breathing slows I lay there holding her. Wide awake with worry. My angel has been bottling all this up inside of her and it's too much. I didn't know she felt like this. I wish I would have, I should have saw the signs. I should have got her help sooner. She'll have it now though. I reach over to grab my phone

Me: prez, it's not good. She's okay physically but she needs help.

Prez: what happened?

Me: she's saying things that I can bare to repeat, we need to get her taken care of like today.

Prez: calling peyton now. I'm sure there's someone at the hospital that can help.

Me: let me know, I just got her to lay down and take a nap.

It doesn't feel right to tell prez everything ari said to me or how I found her. He's her dad and my prez, but if she wants him to know she can tell him.

I can count on one hand the amount of times I have cried. Today will be one of those times. I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I feel so helpless. I just want to take all her pain Away and bring back that bright bubbly girl she was before. I want my ari back and I'll do everything I can to get her back.

My bedroom door opens I lift my head to see charlie tip toeing in. "Daddy?"

"Hi sweetheart, you ready to get up?"

"Yeah, mommy sleeping?"

"Yeah, I'll come hangout with you until she wakes up"

"Okay" she smiles and leaves the room.

"Baby?" I whispers in aris ear.

"Hmmm?"

"Charlie is up. You stay here I'll be downstairs with her, okay?"

"Okay sebby"

"I love you, angel. We're gonna be okay."

"Love you too sebby. Thank you"