Ari

The sun is still shining when I open. My eyes again. I look at the clock on sebbys night stand that reads five sixteen. I need to get up and get charlie dinner. I'm sire sebby fed her some lunch when she woke up.

If we're being honest I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to lay here and never get up again. It's time to put my fake face on and pretend now that I didn't have a total mental breakdown infront of seb.

As I make my way downstairs I hear hushed voices, sebby isnt alone, he must sense my presence, his head swivels in my direction when I enter the livinroom "Hey, Angel." He gives me a small smile.

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you come sit down?" Dad asks

I take a seat next to sebby across from dad and peyton. "What's up? Wheres charlie?"

"Shes with locklynn, she has ellie too...Honey, we all love you so much." Peyton starts "you have been my daughter from the moment your dad brought you home. I'm so sorry we didn't see the pain you are in, I'm sorry we didn't see how much you are struggling. Your dad and I are so proud of you for telling seb that you need help, before it got too much."

I look at seb with tears in my eyes. He puts his arm over ny shoulder pulling me close to him and placing a kiss on top of my head whispering "it's okay, my love. I'm right here."

"We want to get you the help you need ari." Dad speaks up "princess, I'm going to ask you a very important question. I need you to be honest with me" I nod my head not being able to get words out right now. "Do you plan on taking your life?"

I dont have an answer for him. There is no plan, I can't explain the thoughts in my head. It hurts to breath sometimes. I want it all to stop do I think about ending it, yes. Do I think I'm broken? absolutely. Do I think the people I love deserve better? One hundred percent. "I don't know" I whisper.

"Can you tell me how you're feeling, ari?" Peytons asks concern lacing her voice.

"I feel like I don't want to be in pain anymore, but I know that me ending my suffering will inevitably cause the people I love pain." I sigh.

"Tell me what we can do, honey. What is it that you need? Do you want to go away and get help? Do you want to see a physiotherapist? Whatever you need honey we will make it happen."

"I need to know why she did it" I cry out. "I need to know how my own mother, the person who gave birth to me, the person who is supposed to love me more than anything on this earth would do that to me. Why didn't she come to you and tell you what happened? Why didn't she tell you who took me, daddy? She did this to me, she helped them do this to me. I know she was an addict that she was trying to get money to get high." I cant hold back the flood gates. "but im her fucking daughter. She knew who took me the whole time she could have helped she could have gotten me home..." I take a deep breath before continuing "What if I'm just like her? What if someday I do something to hurt charlie? I can't live with that possibility."

"Aribella, you are nothing like her, do you hear me?" Dad says slowly in a low tone "you are one of the best mothers I have ever known, you love your daughter more than anything in this world and you wouldn't let anything happen to her let alone be the cause of it."

"I need to see her." I nod

"Charlie?" Dad asks

"No Alexia" I lookup at him. "I need more answers, now that she's sober. I need to know if she ever loved me. I mean she lied about who my dad was for almost my whole childhood, she allowed him to hit me, she brought strange men home around me, she did drugs infront of me, and she helped have me kidnapped. I need to know dad, not just about the kidnapping but about all of it i need clousure."

"Okay, I'll take you down there. What else do you need, sweetheart?"

"I need to talk to someone, A therapist. I need to sort things in my head. I love you all so much, but there are just certain things I can't tell you."

"Okay, I'll make a few calls honey. I'll get you the best doctor. We are going to get through this as a family."

"Thank you" I whisper.

"When do you want to go see alexia?" Dad asks

"When's charlie coming home?" I turn to ask sebby.

"She's going to have a Slumber party at eli and locklynns house if that's okay with you."

"Ellies is staying too." Peyton smile.

Eli and locklynn also have a house on the compound so they are close, I know my brother and sister-in- law wouldn't let anything happen to my baby. "Okay, I want to go now." I tell my dad.

"Are you sure baby?" Sebby whispers in my ear.

"Yes" I nod.

"I'll make those calls. I'll get you an appointment for tomorrow" Peyton says when we stand up, pulling me into her arms "I love you ari, I'm so happy you're here."

"I love you too peyton, you're the best mom I could ask for."

I feel dad's strong arms wrap around both of us. "Everything's going to be okay."

Dad leads us into the the clubhouse and unlocks the basement. Sebby never let's go of ny hand all the way down the stairs. "Ohhh my beautiful girl, have you come to see me?" Marcus asks from his cell.

"Don't fucking talk to her." Dad sneers pussing a button on the wall causing Marcus' body to convulse,, its then I notice the colar around his neck, I'm pretty sure dad just electrocuted him, nice touch. "Alexia wake the fuck up" dad growls when we get to the other end of the basement.

The cell my mother is in is the same as the one Marcus is held in small only a cot and toilet present. Alexias eyes flutter open she looks panicked when she looks at dad then her eyes shift to me. "Ohhh my sweet girl, ari you have to tell him to let me go baby." Her eyes are more clear than I ever remember seeing them.

"We need to talk." I tell her.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry for everything."

"I don't want your apology it's too late for that."

My attention is drawn to dad who's setting a chair down next to me I take a seat and guve him a nod of appreciation.

"Seb?" I hear behind me and turn to see daisy holding onto the bars looking at sebby like he's going to save her.

"Shut the fuck up, daisy, would hate to you to get zapped" I smile at her. She retreats instantly.

"I want answers to all of my questions, it's the least you could do." I turn my attention back to alexia

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know honey, just tell your crazy ass dad to let me go."

"Don't talk about him like that" I sneer. "Why did you lie about who my dad was?"

"By time I found out that the DNA test was tampered with he was apart of a dangerous biker club. I was doing what any good mother would do aribella I was protecting you."

I can't help the laugh that escapes me "protecting me by letting the man pretending to be my father beat us? You let mason put his hand on me. Even after we left it was a long string of drug dealers who would sneak in my room in the middle of the night, you never believed me. Why didn't you believe me?"

"None of them touched you ari, stop being dramatic."

"They did" I whisper I look at my dad with apologetic eyes. I never told him the truth. I told him I was scared Zander. My mom's drug dealer boyfriend, would touch me. I didn't tell him that he already had not just him but several others too. The real reason I took off the night I was fourteen was because he tried to rape me, my mom walked in before it happened. She was so high I don't think she even knew what was going on, but he left the room with her and promised to be back soon.

"Stop lying, aribella. Why would they touch a little girl when I was right there."

"Because they were fucking sick peices of shit. You were too high to even realize what was happening. I was eleven the first time. We were living in the car. We went to one of your friends houses. You left me in the living room with a bunch of people drunk and high out of their minds. You fucking walked in on Zander trying to rape me the night I left to find dad. How could you not remeber that?"

"Because it didn't happen." She all but yells.

"Right says the junkie" I sneer

"Do not speak to me that way I'm your mother." She grits her teeth.

"No you're not. A mother would have protected me. Why didn't you go to dad after I was taken and tell him who took me?"

"I didn't know who took you." She fidgets

"You're lying"

"No, I'm not"

"Stop. Fucking. Lying!" I yell

"Because! He would have fucking killed me!" She yells back.

I nod my head in understanding "so you decided that your life was more important than your childs?"

"You're still alive ari"

"So are you. You are not my mother. A mother would never do anything to hurt their child. My daughter will never know pain like you have caused me. I'm so greatful she will never know you. I'm so greatful that I found my dad, that I have peyton and the rest of my family. I'm so greatful that my daughter will grow up with a mother who would rip out her own heart before she'd ever hurt her. I'm so greatful that my daughter has grandparents, aunts, and uncles that would do anything for her. I'm so greatful that my daughter is going to never know a life without a father who would kill and die for her." I feel seb squeez my shoulder agreeing with the lengths he would go to protect our little girl

"you gave me none of that." I continue "you desever to be here, you, daisy, Marcus, and everyone else who was involved. You will all rot in here. Look on the brightside mommy at least you won't be beaten, raped, and have to have a baby on to floor by yourself. This is the life you deseve, death is too easy for you."

"Ari you can't leave me here, I'm your mother" she cries out.

I look around the room. There's a shower on the other side of the cells, there's empty food treys, there's windows with light streaming in, they have toilets, shes changed her clothes since being here. "This is like a five star hotel compared to where you left me to rot. I hate you Alexia, you are not my mother. You are nothing but a junkie whore." With those parting words I stand and walk up the stairs ignoring the cries following behind me.