"I'm facing the greatest."



15

Three months and nine days ago, I escaped my prison, running half-naked through a forest, terrified. Now, I'm trapped in a facade of somehow managing to live in relative peace. The past few months have been nothing short of a tragedy, but eventually, it didn't have to be. I've felt the pain, but like many women who've experienced trauma, I've learned to move forward—even with tears constantly threatening to spill.

The English countryside is one the most quiet relaxing places on earth, it's a shame not many people know about a area so undisturbred. The fun part is feeding the baby cows, they're just to adorable. Lydia has been an amazing help with my growing belly an all. She often times reminds me of my mother and grandmother, I regret how bad I left things with my mother, it wasn't right.

It felt good to have peace of mind knowing my mother was safe and living well in Brazil. I hoped Stassie was doing okay too; I appreciated her bravery in following me across the world.

"Amina! Are you daydreaming again darling?" Lydia's voice pulled me from my thoughts, her smile bright and warm.

"Y-yeah, sorry," I stammered, brushing my fingers through Jack's thick black coat. "I uh... blame the hormones. What were you saying?"

Lydia laughed softly, her eyes glimmering with kindness. "Doesn't matter now. But I do want to ask you what your plans are when it comes to your baby. I love having you here."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips, but it quickly faded as I shook my head. "I'm still a little lost, trying to piece it all together in my head." I took a deep breath, forcing a chuckle to mask the emotion bubbling inside me. The last thing I wanted was to break down in front of her, but the weight of everything was often times too heavy.

Lydia didn't miss a beat. She turned to face me, her eyes soft with understanding. "Go on, my ears are open."

I swallowed, trying to steady my voice. "Well, I've struggled my entire life not knowing who I wanted to be. I spent ninety percent of it trying to impress my dad, just so he'd notice me—even when we lived under the same roof. The other ten percent was spent rebelling against him... with my ex-boyfriend."

The words felt like they were suffocating me, and a wave of panic suddenly gripped my chest. I could hardly breathe, and

"Archie was a adrenaline junkie, he did what he want with no regard of the consequences. I was his secret girlfriend for a start of it, I pretended that I didn't mind since who would want me you know? It felt great, everything did even though my dad hated him. I came close to losing myself in him and for him. It hurt seeing Archie with other girls, but I would forgive him

... again, and again, and again," my voice quietly fades as every memory of him came back to me. "That's how much I loved him, I knew he loved me. Our relationship was strange, but I went through all that to know I wasn't the one who could help fight his demons." I sniffled.

Lydia spoke, "Love makes us do crazy things. It's your story you feel how you want. Just as long as you heal properly, and eventually grow balls to scream fuck off." We share a laugh.

"Sweetheart, you're more than your life's story, you have a baby now. The men in your life disappointed you but promise me to never let it define you. I will be the first to tell you that not a single scar on my heart came from an enemy. Now forgot all these tears, we are surround by animals for god sake. Give this old lady a hug."

We leaned in, embracing each other, the warmth of Lydia's presence wrapping around me like a blanket. Staying in the countryside, pretending to be a farm girl—it wasn't a life I'd ever imagined, but somehow, it felt perfect. It felt like a dream I didn't even know I had, and I didn't want it to end.

This wonderful woman had made me forget the horrors of my past, the terror I had run away from. I hadn't yet told her the whole story of why I fled, and truthfully, it didn't matter anymore. The past was behind me, and for the first time in a long while, I was beginning to feel safe.

But one thing was certain: Reign would not have me. He would have to physically drag me away, kicking and screaming, if he ever wanted me back. And even then, I wasn't sure he could.

•••

"Hi tiny baby. I want you know no matter where we are in the world, I got us. Your dad might be a big scary man to mommy but something tells me he'll go over the moon for you." I whispered as I rubbed my belly then got ready for bed slipping on my soft pjs.

Finally I tuck myself in the bed shutting of my lamp, getting ready to turn in with my head rested against the pillow when I heard the door creek open. I was to tired to pay it any attention, next thing I knew I was in a deep sleep.

>> Reign stood silently at the foot of the bed, his gaze fixed on her sleeping form as she breathed deeply, the sheets pulled up to her ear. He had entered just after her quiet speech, though he hadn't heard it, and had no idea she carried his child. The room was bathed in the soft glow of moonlight, and he remained still, hands tucked into his pockets, watching her every breath in the hushed stillness.

He approached the bed, his fingers brushing lightly against her cheek, his touch soft but laden with a deep, restless yearning. "My sweet Ami," he murmured, his voice low, barely a whisper. "You shouldn't have tried to escape, my skoro budem vmeste, moya lyubov." (We will be together soon, my love.)

The craving for her presence gnawed at him, sharper than ever before. His patience was fraying, unraveling thread by thread. Amina had no idea what was coming for her. Poor Ami... She just had to run away.

•••

"Amina breakfast!" Lydia called out. I was pulling a maxi dress down my body, before I made my way downstairs, but stopped mid staircase once I saw who was sitting the table.

"Amaya? W-what are you doing here?" I asked, barley above a whisper.

"Come sit," Lydia smiles pulling a chair out, "I'll be outside, it will be my pleasure to hold this adorable little baby, I have a feeling she'll love the horses."

She reaches for Mila in Amaya's arms, cooing on the way out into the farm.

The door shut behind her, and Amaya immediately spoke, "I needed to come find you. Everyone is back Russia for the weekend, I have been thinking about you ever since you disappeared, but Amina, "she blurted out, nervously.

"I'm not sure if you understand the hurt you've cause yourself, " She looked around mortified, lowering her voice.

"This poor lady's life is in no longer hers. I overheard the brothers speaking about departing for Russia. I will forever know why you want to run, but why did you do it?"

"What was I supposed to do? Stay there let him ruin me?" I whispered-frustratedly as a warmth grew in my chest. My gaze blurred with tears.

A heavy silence hung in the air.

I looked past everything around me, the quiet beauty of the countryside fading into the background as Amaya's hand gently rested on mine. Her touch pulled me back to reality. "I don't want you to get yourself killed," she said softly, her voice tinged with worry. "I lived through it so I could tell you—save yourself the trouble, Amina. I didn't have anyone left to help me pick up the pieces."

Her words echoed in my mind, and though I agreed with an uncertain heart, I could no longer bear the suffocating weight of the Gusevs. "How did you find me?" I asked, my voice quiet.

Amaya took a casual bite of her pancakes, her eyes never leaving mine. "I married a psychopath who'd burn the entire world down for me. I have rights whenever he's not home." She said it with a strange, detached smile that hung loosely on her lips.

I swallowed hard, trying to shake off the heaviness of her words. "Have you heard from Irina recently?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Amaya's expression flickered, but she shook her head. "Nope. I think she went back to New York after everything that went down."

Before I could reply, Lydia appeared in the doorway, bouncing a fussy Mila in her arms. She was trying her best to calm the upset baby, her face a mixture of concern and amusement.

"Poor thing," I murmured, smiling as Lydia walked over. "The cows got too noisy."

Lydia gave me an exhausted but affectionate grin before handing Mila over to me. I cradled the little girl in my arms, pressing a kiss to her soft cheeks. She smiled at me, her tiny hands reaching up to grab at my nose. I rubbed my nose against hers, and for a brief, fleeting moment, everything else faded away. A cute baby had a way of making everyone forget their problems—even if it was only for a second.

•••

I walked Amaya out, knowing she had to leave before the sun dipped too low, but most of all before someone back at the estate reports her missing. Part of me wanted to keep her here longer, but the other part of me was eager for more cuddles with Mila, who was still bouncing around in my arms.

As I reached the car, I carefully placed Mila in her car seat, kissing her soft cheek before pulling back with a gentle smile. "Bye bye, cutie," I whispered, my heart feeling light despite the heaviness still lingering in the air. Mila giggled, reaching out her tiny hands, and for a moment, everything felt right.

"I see why you made a home here, Lydia is a very sweet lady." Amaya stated.

I grin, "I guess she reminds me of my ma."

"I heard you went to Brazil to see her. How did that go?"

I sighed in exasperation, "She's living of course. Besides the fact she's sleeping with my dad's brother or whatever, I don't know, but yeah she's okay." my attention wandered, until I heard Amaya let out a unintended snort.

She slaps a hand over her mouth terribly preventing more laughing, "Amina, you could of left that part out."

I groaned, looking away, "It's already embarrassing."

She scoff playfully pushing my shoulder, "For you or her?"

My mother may of felt some humiliation and shame, and I wasn't exactly her biggest cheerleader once I saw her new relationship in real time. I don't recall every speaking to my mom that way, I knew I had hurt her.

"Anyways, I have to go," I shut my eyes taking in her scent, as we share a desperate hug, "take care of you and that baby." She whispers in my ear. Immediately I lift my head to hers slightly pulling away, I felt a wave of panic start to rise. The words tickled at my fear, I struggle knowing I have a constant reminder of my blood ties to a man so dire and disastrous.

"Trust me, okay?" She held my face searching my eyes for a response, I couldn't give her, I wasn't okay with this. Amaya forcefully hugs me allowing me to silently cry on her shoulder.

•••