35

Present

"I'm beyond curious of you Amina," Kate places a cup of hot tea in front of me.

"How did such a sweet girl get pulled into something so unexpected? Yeah, I of course got the shorter version of your story, but I would love to hear it in grave detail," I tug on the ends of my dark brown knit sweater.

My heart raced as I think about sharing any details, unsure of how my words will come out, will kate my therapist understand? Will she judge me? Feel sorry for me? Just the thought of being vulnerable left me uneasy. The soft lighting, and quiet space made it all feel safe, but there's still a knot in my stomach.

"What is going through your mind right now?" Kate leaned her arm on the arm chair with a fist under her chin.

I look into the cup of tea, "I-I don't know, that I lost my life."

"You survived. "

•••

Months ago

"She's awake!"

White walls, the sterile brightness of the room, the faint beeping of a monitor nearby, my eyes grew wider at the people in white coats looking at me. I look down at the wires that snake out of my arms, I aim to lift my hand, but it felt sluggish and uncooperative. The smallest movement sends a ripple of dizziness through me.

"Hello Miss Martin, I'm Dr. Galloway. You've been in a coma for a while, but you're awake now, and you're safe here in the hospital. We're going to take good care of you as you recover. Do you remember what happened before?"

"In another life we got to be friends the right way." He whispered, lightly kissing my cheek.

I blink a few times, nodding, recalling my last moments.

Suddenly, a dark figure looking through the window, unmoving and ominous, as if he has always been there, Reign stood there eyeing me. My breath quickens to frantic, each inhale seeming to choke me. The bed beneath my feels too small, my hands tremble uncontrollably as I grip the sheets.

The doctor's voice is muffled, but it's no use. The terror grips me. Even with the lights on, even with the walls around me, his shadow is real to me—too real. I can't seem to escape him. Someone rushes in making his shadow disappear, I blink a few times again hopeful that I'm not seeing things, my body is beyond exhausted.

Mom?

Her eye's softened, and full of life.

The silence had become unbearable, and I had only just started to accept that maybe I would never see my mother again.

But now, standing in front of me, was the woman I had feared I'd lost forever.

"Mom?" my voice broken and hoarse, the word feeling both foreign and too right at the same time. The doctor quietly leaves the room. Tears streamed down my face from the overwhelming joy of seeing the woman I had missed so deeply. The moment felt like a dream, a beautiful, impossible dream come true.

My mother meets me at my side kissing the side of my face, "oh my baby, I'm so happy to see you."

I look her in the face struggling to touch her cheek with the back of my hand, she's real, my mom is real.

"But t-the f-fire, I-," I stuttered confusingly.

"She made it out." My head instantly moves to a older lady standing in the door frame with a telling smirk, she was dressed in a dark grey suit and heels to match. I just stare trying to remember where I've seen her before.

"I'm his mother."

Yes, from the party.

"You have nothing to worry about, Amina. Your free now. You have my dearest apology for all the hurt, and pain you've endured from that side of the family."

All the people I've met along the way, the pain in my chest will never stop, I'm going to miss them all.

"Is he dead? Is R-Reign dead?" I chew on the inside of my cheek, but she only gives me a smile that doesn't meet her eyes.

"He won't hurt you again." She whispered, but the look in her face displayed more secrets, something she's hiding for me.

What did that mean? Is he dead or not?

Instead she changes the topic, "I'm afraid you can never speak to that young man from the apartment again. It's the safer option, he's safe." She gave me one of those motherly smiles- one where I knew what she is telling me is for the best, but I couldn't help but cry.

"Were there others?"

One question I really want to know.

She looks me directly in the eye, "as for Reign, you were the only one," her expression stoic.

"The damage to the other and Amaya was already done, I didn't know about Amaya until the wedding." She sat at the foot of the bed.

"Amina my biggest regret was falling for a man I was supposed to put in prison, yet instead, I created more versions of him. I made my bed with the Gusev's, I'm currently still laying it," her smile shows small.

"I like to think we come from the same worlds, I feel every single one of those scars left on your skin."

A silence happens.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is this Archie person you kept mentioning in your sleep?" Her forehead creased in a curious way.

My mom grips my shoulder in comfort, "He-He's my ex boyfriend." I struggle to say.

Her smile meeting one cheek, "Ah, Archie Valdwin twenty-four, father imprisoned for falsifying business documents, and his mother Rose, a owner of a small bakery in Connecticut, he helps her during the weekday,"

My mouth gaped open.

"How do you—?"

"I was one of the first lawyers she saw about her divorce, she couldn't afford my services. But then she came back one day desperate, she told me how her business is close to bankruptcy, and her home almost went into foreclosure,

...so I did it for free. I convinced her to take what was left of her ex husbands fortune, and got her a entitled settlement and now she and her son are doing great."

Archie never shared anything about his family with me.

"If anyone knows anything about a rich, piece of shit husband, it's me," she muttered to herself playing with the ring on her finger.

"Anyways, I did fill Gabriela in about his side of the family. I thought she should know that her daughter may not be the same person on the inside." She sighs,

"I know no amount of apologies will matter to you. I will forever blame myself for starting this."

She glanced at a lower part of me that's hiding under the blanket. "You have a growing life to tend to now my dear, your mother will take care of everything once you leave this place."

I look down pausing in a uncomfortable silence. The words hung in the air, and for a moment, everything stopped. These news hitting me all at one. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to process everything being said. I was taking cocaine and excessively drinking, how can this be?

"Mom? Is it true, there's a baby?" I croak looking to her for answers, she only nods.

I'm still bound to that man, no matter what. I have his life growing inside of me.

"You have a long journey of healing. I'm here for you." She kissed me at the top of my head.

My mind randomly jogs to my friend I left behind, "Stassie.. is s-she okay. W-Where is she?" I try to sit up, but my mom gently lays me back down.

She looked at me for a moment, her brow furrowed as if she was searching for the right words. It was evident she didn't quite know how to tell me.

"I don't want to assume the worst, but I have nothing on the whereabouts of your friend, I'm so sorry, I searched-,"

I shook my head, biting my lip, "No y-your lying, your lying to me. Mom she's lying, tell me she's lying." I hopelessly begged, "Please."

I look back at the lady in the suit, the look in her eye instantly broke me. A strangled cry escaped, I felt a tightness in my throat, and before I could stop it, quiet sobs slipped past my lips.

I brought my hands to cover my eyes, my excessive tears become relentless. I could no longer control myself, squeezing my eyes shut, I frustratedly kept palming the sides of my forehead. My mother quickly pulling my hands away from hurting myself, she attempted to whisper comforting things to me in her first language.

Everyone is hurting because of me.

Without a single thought, I tried to get out the bed, feeling weaker than anything Reign ever put me through. My mother caught me from me falling, gently pushing me sit on the bed. I ignored the painful yanks from my IV.

The heart monitor beeped loudly, its rapid blips filling the room, Dr Galloway rushed into the room to help me.

With a weak, trembling push, I shoved their hands away, yelling in frustration, "Don't touch me, I don't want anyone fucking touching me!"

My mother tries to get my attention by cupping my cheeks, but I snatched away focusing on her looking at me with nothing by sympathy, and all it did was made me feel worse.

"You did this to me!" I heavily cried out, "All of it.. it's all on you. You caused this...this fucking sad excuse of bloodline. You ruined Amaya life, she was striped of everything!"

"He took my life! Made me delusional—me! All of it! You people took everything! I never asked for this. I'm suffering because of you. "

I paused, my breath raggy. Then with a sudden burst of clarity.

"I seen people murdered in cold blood," I jab a finger into my chest, "I caused that."

"I still see Tommie's eyes haunting me!"

She shakily spoke, "Please don't let Reign make you believe you have nothing left."

I heard my mother sniffle as she tried to wrap her arms around me. Another boost of adrenaline pumped into my veins.

"I took cocaine for the first time, did you know that mom? I took fucking drugs," I scream, "because I needed it!"

I try to get at her, "You wanted to help me! Here you go, you won, I've been rescued. You can sleep peacefully now."

"If it wasn't for your deranged son, I'd still have a fraction of my sanity," I broke down in a storm of anger. "Tommie would be alive, my mom would still have her home, Stassie wouldn't be hurt or dead somewhere."

I pull at my hair, "and I don't even want to know what happened to that old lady who helped me while I was pregnant...

...and fuck! I wouldn't have these fucking scars to show for it!"

"I'm sorry—," She tries to speak.

"Admit it. Admit you failed as a woman and worse.. a parent."

Tears of rage blurred my view of her, as she continued to stay silent.

"Why won't you admit it huh?"

All she did was look on.

"...and stop looking at me like that! I bet you wish things were different? So did I!"

Everything is hitting me all at once.

"I should of killed him myself," I hissed through clenched teeth, feeling my tears puddle at my top lip,

"Your whole family can go straight to hell. Fuck you! All of you!"

The lady held it together incredibly, I notice her bottom lip tremble.

"Miss Martin-," I couldn't stop fighting them, "Amina you have to settle down," Dr Galloway calmly said trying to properly put me on the bed.

"Stop fucking tell me to calm down!" I screamed, "You have no clue!"

My mother begs me with her hands together, "Please, Amina relax, for me."

"No mom, S-Stassie she's my friend.. she was there. Amaya is still there, surviving, she's not even a person anymore. And she has a daughter," my voice lowers, but continues to break as I tire myself out.

"A baby girl, her name is Mila."

I think I've hit my psychotic break.

"This lady saved you." My mom cries.

"I suppose I should thank her," I scoffed, wiping under my nose.

"Hmph, I needed saving when I was trapped standing in my own vomit unable to move.. saved me?" I sadly disclosed.

"You can't save me. No one can. I've already been through it, okay. I'm gone, those people are fucking gone!" Bitterly, I almost laugh still with a soaked face.

Dr Galloway and my mom finally got me to lay on the bed, I threw my head back, crying harder in my hands now that everything has settled in.

"Oh dear god." My mother head bows as she silently cries with her hand on my shoulder.

After a while, "I never even got your name—," I lift my head and his mother was gone, as if she never was here.

•••

Present

Kate asks me, "We've been working on getting you to feel the kicks of your baby," I sat with my legs crossed still looking into the hot cup of tea. "Have you been able to?"

I shook my head, his cruelty had bruised more than my body; it had tainted the joy I had of once having a child, this miracle of life. It's unfortunate but the weight of the child within me is a constant reminder of the life I was carrying, and who I was sharing it with. This time around it feels almost to real, I know I'm surely giving birth to this one.

"Every time I reach to feel him, my hand starts shaking and I-I draw back. If I touch my belly I'll be reminded of every single thing. I'm scared that I will ruin the peace I have only just created." I expressed.

She smiles nodding as if she understands the depth behind my words, "Understandable, did you know that everything you know about life is a lie?"

My features flinch in confusion, I'm not sure of the correlation.

"Let me clarify, no matter how old you are, there will be days where you have to start all over again." She blinks taking a sip of her coffee. "Your a woman, and that means surviving in a world full of egotistical men."

"But also there are women who choose to live in a poisonous reality, because it's easier to live in his shadow. And then we have you, Amina, who didn't have much options, but to sink into a hole of unfathomable mental burden from basically every man in her life."

My breath had caught me in my throat, I was overwhelmed from the details that sounded too true, yet I didn't want it to be.

Has my life really got this dark?

"I'm not sure if being here is necessary," I stated.

"And why is that?"

I shrug, " because I-I didn't fucking sink. Okay?! I'm not some damsel-," I burst out not wanting to finish the phrase, "all I wanted was someone to care about what I wanted!"

Damsel in distress. I've heard that far to many times in my lifetime than needed.

"You did, but you didn't feel that, and the ones who hurt us don't get to decide how we heal." Kate shares. I stay silent keeping my sights locked on nothing in particular.

"I'm interested to know how do you see Reign Gusev, in what kind of way?" She put forth.

Suddenly, my senses went on high alert, and every one of those warnings he gave me about escaping him, prickled at my mind.

I gulp down the rest of the warm cup of tea, putting the cup on the table.

I felt reluctant to say anything about him, but I know it had to be done for me, "Reign is a powerful man, a dangerous lover. I would say, he's a bad volatile situation towards people." I shared.

"What a specific choice of words."

"I'm not supposed to be here, talking to you about this."

"Can you explain why your not supposed to be here?" She softly asks.

I sat forcing my eyes to stay clear, "I ran away when I was told not to, for the second time." I replied under my breathe. "I-I thought I was going to die."

"He was eventually going to kill me.. I-I needed to escape," I stifle a sob.

"I caught myself falling for a man I should hate with every fibre of my being." I acknowledged. "He took my life away from me."

"Hm, do you think any of this has something to do with Stockholm syndrome?"

"Stockholm?"

"A person who builds a bond with their capture," Kate explained.

"I see, but I can't agree. It was different. I didn't have options, I chose to understand. I wanted to make sense of something that didn't make sense. I didn't choose him— I somehow adapted." I uttered quietly.

Her tender smile acknowledging the weight of the moment, "You adapted. Did you adapt to his lifestyle?"

I scoff shaking my head, "Whenever I would see him do his dirty work— it reminded me that I share a bed with the devils solider,"

"Hm, I just want to say, I've heard and read things similar to your story, and we always see it in the news, but to become a lady for such a giant of family and to escape and live normally is underheard of," Her brows furrowed, "Lady Gusev's tend to stick around for some unknown reason."

Like his mother.

The air grew still until she spoke again, "I've done my research on the family before meeting you, believe me when I say I dug deep," Kate walked over to gather a good number of papers.

"I-I don't want to interrupt your healing, but I think this is worth sharing,"

She sit's down to read me the documents.

"There was a girl by the name of Seara Franco she attended a State University, was best friends with Irina Gusev some years ago. Until one day she 'stumbled' across Yuri Gusev, and in the same week she was pronounced dead from pneumonia." Kate handed me a black and white photograph.

"And yet here is a photo of her some months later, at four in the morning, running afraid of something while barefoot in the road, this was caught from a street camera."

I swallow letting out a shaky breathe, knowing the peace I once cultivated now feels broken.

"After that happened, her sister by the name of Carla Franco, was taken from her family, also pronounced dead from pneumonia, but that's crazy, because I found that she was sold to human traffic in Brazil, and I'm not entirely sure how she ended up in a auction, where apparently the Gusev's bought her."

My pulse was absent, and the world seemed to stop in its tracks, my eyes nearly out the socket.

"But what I'm not about sure about is if the Franco sister's are dead or held captive somewhere."

Fucking Irina

Reign knew about Carla, he knew everything.

I triggered a button within myself, I'm looking everywhere around the office paranoid that he's watching me. "He's here, isn't he?" I spoke with a shaky tone, hoping she heard me.

"Who is?" She genuinely looked confused.

I look down trying to manage my thoughts, "Reign, I know he's here," my voice fell faraway.

"I'm not sure I follow," She asks placing the document's on the table.

"It's—god you wouldn't understand." I say frustrated, trying to keep my emotions in check.

"Help me to," she tries to encourage me.

"You already think I'm insane, I know how this all sounds," I rub behind my neck.

But all she did was rest her chin on her closed fist, asking me to continue with softness dancing in her eyes.

I swallow, "I was forced to live under the same roof as someone capable of utter destruction and fatality. My life then didn't come without warning." I pick at my sleeves, "You'll ultimately start to feel his presence, like some insane quiet energy moving in silence."

My words pull me to glance at the windows door.

"So your able to still feel him in other places outside the house."

"I get it. Trauma can effect the brain in great length, I think—," her voice fades, and replaced with a trance I was heavily locked inside. I couldn't tear my gaze away from the glass.

I slowly walk up to the brown door, I peak to see through the small window.

Everything I attempted to bury, rapidly surged to the surface.

"Amina are you okay?" Kate asks me leaning up from her seat. There he is, standing tall on other side of the door, hands in his long black coat, leaning against the wall, devilishly handsome.

My mouth gape open, I soon find the words, "Y-yes, I-I'll be a moment." I whisper not taking my sight of him. My mind screamed to run, but I couldn't leave this room, I'm frozen in a mix of dread and disbelief.

It's him, Reign, and he found me. And he's not been buried in the ground.

A genuine smile shown, once he saw my baby bump, the joy sprints across his eyes.

"Whenever your ready, take your time, gather your thoughts." I didn't respond to her, I was far too kept.

Reign's faint curl of the lips, barely there, but harmfully telling, it became unsettling, he took my eyes again— this look was something I wasn't supposed to understand, something he's keeping secret. The unease in my gut deepens, as it never left his face.

I couldn't help but ask, "Where's my friend?"

He only silences me with his finger to his lips, then strangely turns around walking turning the corner.

I place my hands against the door, my eyes began to sting with tears. My hands turns into a fist repeatedly banging at the door—over and over— it turns into violent kicks. I'm beyond angry, I didn't want to be sad anymore, I felt nothing, but rage, and frustration.

He's was never dead, he faked his death. Why?

I look down at my shoes, I struggle to catch my breathe, wiping away the tears that fell.

Him showing his face was the last needle in my coffin. I'm not in the clear, and I never will be. I am carrying his kid after all, and I refuse to simply move on without knowing Stassie is still out there somewhere, my heart won't allow another person to fall victim of my mistake.

Out of nowhere, I knew I ignited every inch of my body with intense energy, feeling every broken piece of my fear fall from me.

I will have Reign Gusev in the worst way, and maybe he will torture me until I take my final breathe, if that mean's finding my friend, so be it. I know he can't hurt me while carrying his child, that gives me less than seven months to think everything over. However, if something goes terribly wrong, and I end up dying behind it, I will be prepared knowing I'll have a daughter to one day tell my story.

Death has been taunting at me long before I met Reign, he just so happened to pull me exceedingly close to a finish line. I will go back expecting excruciating pain, but the Gusev violence stops at me for Seara, Clara, and Amaya.

Surviving the men in my life has been a journey of endless strength and painful growth. Their actions still echo in the depths of my soul, they left scars, both seen and unseen, and I will get my closure.

I hope to god Reign doesn't get in my way just yet. I need a plan, something that'll get me close to him when he least expects it.

"Amina are you alright?" I heard Kate ask.

I face her with a smile that finally meets my cheeks, pushing my hair out of my face.

I was dragged in the dark, suffocating in a house where every inch of me was torn apart. And now it begins again— I am the one holding the knife.

"I saw you just beat the door down, and now I see a smile I haven't see before. Was that a method of releasing anger?" She chuckles asking.

I move to sit back down touching my growing stomach for the first time, her eyes widened, "Oh what a milestone Amina, do you feel your baby kicking—,"

I spoke with confidence that felt unfamiliar, "that syndrome thing you said earlier..."

Kate says slowly, "Stockholm syndrome?"

"Tell me everything," I requested, "also do you have information on where the Franco sister's parents live?"

She questions me with her eyes, but nods anyway.

"They have to know the truth."

"I maybe be overstepping, but what if they hurt you for interfering?"

I simply smile in response.

I got lost in her last words and my smile grew wider. But somehow I feel my tears creeping to sting my eyes.

—

To be continued...

Surviving Retribution: part 2

Descriptive trailer

For a while, Amina has been running-fleeing from a past that won't let her go, constantly looking over her shoulder, terrified of the man who haunts her every step. One man who once held her in his arms, whispered promises of forever, and the other left her delusional thinking a man so sinister could ever be normal.

Reign shattered her world beyond repair.

Now, she's been hidden in the shadows with a gift of life from him, making decisions that seem small at the time, but each one leads her further down a dangerous path.

She gets ear of the clock, and when it runs out, the one person she fears most will come to collect what's his. Will love, hate, and vengeance collide in a way she never imagined, or will she make that one percent of breaking free, once and for all?

However, one thing is certain: no matter what happens, she will ultimately be forced to surrender to his darkness—whether it's in pursuit of deadly retribution or simply to raise the white flag.

We all know that the human body can survive only so much trauma before it finally breaks down.

2025

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Thank you all for reading this far!