' dirty things like me'









my every thought, my every doing and action, every breath I made had been for her.

to find her to have her back but now-

I don't know who to blame, me and my brothers for not being careful enough with her protection, myself for not saving her sooner, victor fucking Ivanov for doing this to her.

our parents for planning this out perfectly. maya for being apart of their scheme.

everyone.

lillith didn't speak to us the entire flight from Russia. she sat in the other end of the jet starring out the window curled up in a ball not moving once. at some point I had walked over draping a blanket around her but she hadn't even glanced up.

I don't think she even noticed.

Katya had been informed of lillith situation and was standing in front of the cars when we arrived in Spain. none of us said anything either. we just studied her. out precious lillith.

she looked so broken. so fragile.

I could see all her bones and her skin was too pale, she looked sick. '' oh lillith'' Katya exclaimed approaching her sister cupping her face in her hands.

but lillith didn't react until katas hands made contact with her face though it was a gentle hold it was not hard to notice the panic in her eyes. '' Katya?'' lillith voice was weak barely a whisper.

Katya wrapped her arms around lillith and my heart broke.

it broke along with lillith facade, when she crumpled and clutched onto her sister shirt, my entire being wrecked when I heard those helpless sobs leave my lillith mouth.

everything was a blur after that to me it was at least. getting into the car. lillith starring at us all appearing to only now realize who we were.

moving her into the house my arm snaking around her waist feeling her body which had become practically skin and bone. her helplessly pleading blue eyes starring into my dark ones.

everything was a blur all I could focus on was that I had failed her.

this was all my fault. me and my brothers fault.

had we just stayed away lillith would've been safe.









why was Katya here?

I didn't understand, what on earth was she doing with them? I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. she's properly fucking them all right?

she must be.

she's prettier than me, and they clearly prefer blondes with blue eyes judging from the photos. oh poor Katya she was going to end up like this too. who would be with me then? I would be all alone.

no, no, no

I cant let that happen. I'll just make sure she stays by my side so she cant go to them, then she will be safe. yeah, that's a great plan. '' are you hungry lillith?'' she even has a prettier voice than me.

she deserves better than those four cheaters.

I shake my head not letting go of her hand. why where they still in here? I could feel their stares on me. they were probably waiting for me to let Katya go so they could fuck her and leave her. maybe they didn't leave me.

maybe I was sold off.

I was getting boring wasn't I?

they needed more than me, and they didn't find it in that other blondie so instead they turned to Katya. yes that had to be it.

I had been gone for far to long, too many months.

I was disgusting now. defiled, bruised and scarred. they knew I was going to come back like this that was why they found someone new.

'' you need to eat please lillith , otherwise we will need to get a doctor to inject the food into you'' one of them stated. Alessandro

doctors? oh no, no, no.

I didn't want to but my body went stiff. I leaned towards Katya so I could whisper in her ear '' don't let them do this to me '' I pleaded her quietly her face softened even more.

'' why don't you all leave for a little bit?'' Katya said sternly to them.

they left. I knew it, she was their new toy.

she was their new princess, and their little one, their love and their cuore mio, their everything. why did it hurt so much? I already knew. first that other blondie now Katya. I wouldn't cry. not now. not over this.

Katya cupped my face in her hands why were she crying? '' listen ills, mum and dad is dead they were the ones who planned all this along with the Salvador parents, your safe here'' she told me softly.

mum and dad? they did this to me.

I stood up I didn't know why or how I did it, I could barely focus on anything as I walked past Katya and out the bedroom. I heard her call out after me as I ran.

food? doctors? mum and dad? no, no, no. please no.









'' get on the ground and beg you filthy slut''

broken shards of glass digging into my skin as I kneeled down in front of him, a sore throat and pain so much pain.

'' shah sugar no need to cry, I helped you get rid of their child, monsters child you should be glad''

that little bloody lump on the floor next to me needles pricking into my skin, a white room. hands on my body, ripped clothes on the floor, endless screaming, falling asleep to the sound of an unborn child's cries.

'' you really think they'll wait for you ? what are you stupid ?''

photos ripped to pieces on the cold floor, and yet still haunting me, voices, their voices mocking me, telling me how disgusting I were. truths but still hurting me more than I could ever explain.









'' lillith please look at me '' a weak voice. almost broken. I looked into dark eyes almost flinching away. he was cradling me in his lap. why was he doing this?

what scheme was this? I didn't like it, I didn't like how everything I felt was pain. '' shh please sweetheart don't look at me like that'' he pleaded almost helplessly.

he was lying, he had to be lying.

why did he look so broken? what rights did he have to be broken?! they did this to me, they- they- they handed me over to him. they got bored of me.

god I was boring, maybe if I became more interesting they could love me again.

no, no, no.

silly, stupid, pathetic me. they never loved me, never could. I'm disgusting and dirty. I wish he would just kill me instead of mocking me like this.

'' come on cuore mio lets get you to bed okay?'' he asked gently.

was he tricking me.

what if he was taking me back to victor? where was Katya? she was properly fucking the other three. poor Lorenzo had to check on me because Katya didn't want her only living family to kill her self or be killed.

I was being a burden.

'' you don't have to be here I'm fine'' I muttered. he shock his head

'' I'm not leaving you lillith'' he swore.

but he was lying, he had to be lying.

either way I was leaving soon enough, hopefully to go to heaven. but even hell sounded like a blessing by this point.

I just hoped Katya would get away from these men quickly enough so she didn't have to follow me to the grave. that would be such a shame, she was so pretty and nice.

I deserved death she didn't.

anything as disgusting as me shouldn't be living among people like Katya. no, no, no.

I should just be dead.