chapter six

' whats there to return to?'

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I was unsure if I had even opened my eyes, it was still dark. perhaps I had gone blind.

I was laying on a hard madras. and this room stank of death. like some sort of corpse was laying somewhere. oh god what if there were a dead body in here.

I shut my eyes back tightly shut.

my hands fumbled in the dark as I stood up forcing the tears away. I quickly found a door handle jerking it down finding the door locked. I grew frantic. oh god what if they had left me here to die.

''hallo?! someone please help ! '' I cried out banging on the door. there were no response. the room was really dark. scary dark. not like the attic at home though.

yet it made me relive those times, my mother's loud voice chasing me up on that attract leaving me there for days. I hated that attic. this room made my mother's voice return.

it boomed off the walls filling the silence.

my cries became louder, and I grew more frantic. grandads pale body laid before me in the dark. like a ghost and I could hear my father tell us to wipe our tears, and I could feel the tight almost painful grip my mother had on my shoulder.

oh god.

the attic.

my grandfather.

fathers scolding.

mothers yelling.

my brothers bullying.

my sister leaving.

mothers' tight hand on my shoulder.

oh, dear god.

someone save me now. I fell. I fell but my body never hit the ground. it should've. I should've fallen all the way to hell. I would've preferred to sink down into the ground and down to the underworld if it meant I would be anywhere but here.

in this room.

there were no more silence, no more darkness. now it was bright now. frantic voices surrounding me.

and yet I couldn't stop the panic filling my entire body. like a venom spreading through my veins, like my blood had been tainted and like I was allowing a sickness to east me alive. it felt like I imagined dying would. scarry.

someone was cradling me, but I was too afraid to know who. to panicked to care.

as long as whomever it was didn't let go. my hands wrapping tightly around whomever it was neck and my face buried in their chest.

I didn't care who it was as long as they held me like this for a little longer.

I sobbed and cried more than I had in years. I felt horrible, nice. you know like when you're drowning, and your head scratched the surface letting you breathe. it felt like that. like for a moment the world was breathable. survivable.

the person who was holding mess arms slowly unwrapped from around me making me cry even more '' please don't leave me '' whomever it was holding me seemed to listen to my plead.

oh, how thankful I was for that '' I want my love'' a deep voice assured me making my heart flutter and my tense body relax ever so slightly. he sounded honest.

I was safe now.

I could rest now. just for a second I could close my eyes. right?

this felt nice and warm.

I liked this.





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I woke up in someone's arms.

'' good morning '' a deep voice greeted quietly making me glance up.

I frowned slightly seeing one of the Salvador monsters- brothers laying beneath me or well my head was resting on his chest, and I was practically laying on him while hugging him tightly.

oh god.

'' I'm so sorry'' I muttered realizing I must've made him incredibly uncomfortable. I didn't entirely know why I cared but I did.

he kidnapped me and yet there I was being afraid I had made him uncomfortable I tried to move away from him only to be pulled back hearing him chuckle. '' you seem alright now'' he commented bluntly seemingly studying me carefully. I glanced up.

I hadn't even noticed how pretty his eyes were. they had this deep brown color. like honey. they didn't quite fit his personality though. but they were beautiful.

really beautiful.

'' thank you'' I muttered still feeling exhausted, so I laid my head down on the pillows only for him to pull me back on top of him. '' for what?'' he asked confused.

'' I'm still angry about the kidnapping thing but thank you for you know- earlier'' I tried to phrase my thoughts.

honestly what was it they had taken me away from that I was trying to get back too so helplessly? was it worth all this trouble? they seemed nice now.

I wasn't about to forgive them but perhaps I should stay civil with them.

yeah, that would be a good idea.

what was it I missed so badly about my old life. what was it I was trying to return to? I couldn't think of anything or anyone.

maybe jill or Vanessa. but then again perhaps if I was civil with these four men, they would let me see them again.

'' don't thank me for such things Mon amour '' he spoke. he also had a nice voice. perhaps I had made things out to be worse in my head because I was in shock. his hand ran through my blonde hair and honestly right now I felt quite nice.

it felt serene.

it felt normal.

'' tell me something anything '' I whispered I didn't know why I said that, but it just felt natural to ask. they want to know more about him.

he seemed surprised as his movements in my hair stopped abruptly before they slowly began against his other hand finding its way from under his head to my waist.

'' tell me what you want to know'' he replied.

'' something, just anything really, please Dominic'' I muttered liking this more than I should've.

way more than I should've. far more. and yet here I laid in one of my kidnapper's arms enjoying the comfort and warmth he provided.

I must've been crazy to like this- to enjoy his presence.

'' call me Nic'' he spoke though it sounded like a mixture of a plead a question and a demand. like he couldn't decide himself which one it was.

'' Nic? '' I questioned.

he hummed in response his chest rumbling from the sound making my heart skip a beat. '' I like this side of you' 'I muttered.

I really did.

I liked this softness.

I was unfamiliar with it, but I quite liked it.

if I had meet them under different circumstances, I would've fallen head over heels for these four men. cause I enjoyed this even in this situation, I was almost afraid of how I would've felt if I had nothing bad to hold against them.

perhaps this life was better than the life outside of this house.

I had nothing to return to anyways.

and I would ask Nic to let me see jill and Vanessa soon. I would be civil from now on.

if not to accept this life, then to survive at least.

at least to survive.