Chapter-52

Vanessa's POV:

But I heard him, "Sugar..... You are giving me pain, and crying yourself....."

I saw his eyes, like he is feeling something. But I can't tell what it is... today, he feels different, like he is too tried to reason something, pay with his words.

He is blurring his mind right now... without thinking..... He is not questing.... but asking....

I stayed silent, soon enough I was wrapping his wound on his hand. I hope it doesn't get infected, I tried my best.

I met his eyes again, I knew he never looked away. But he seemed so cold and distant today.

I took his wounded hand and pressed my lips on the place where he hurt himself. I felt his hand move a little in surprise.

I placed a small kiss on his hand, I looked at him while his eyes ask a question, what is in my mind?

I placed his same hand on my cheeks, I whispered, "You said we both are same.... unfortunate orphans...."

"But at least.... we have each other..." I completed my words.

I saw tears dropping from his eyes, I said truly, "If I have you to protect me..... then you have me to protect you.... to hear you.... to feel your heart, to understand your pain, to love you...."

He pulled his chair closer to me, he whispered getting up, "I am not made for love.... No one can love me.... I am not fit for it, Sugar.... I am son a women who never wanted me, I had a father whom I never truly knew...... No one can love me...."

He said this like he begged, begged that these words were not true. But he knew he was stating facts about himself... still he is wrong.

I tightened my hands on his as I said, "Wrong.... I love you..... You cannot hurt my feelings by degrading yourself... Your self doesn't change by who your parents are.... they are your past you don't need, and I am your present who only has you....."

He was closer to me by now, like he was almost pressing me on the table, he asked stern, "You would have never chosen me... if that night I didn't dragged you here...."

Why he hates himself so much?

He is refusing to believe he is enough.

I whispered, "I don't want that night to change.... However things might happen, but I got you in the end.... that's my truth....."

His cheeks were soaked in tears, someone's crying never bothered me this much. His words are dark mirrors into a child's heart who lost everything today years ago.

I cupped his cheeks with my hands, I promised, "For me.... It only you, Seth... You should remember, I will be always waiting to see you and feel you....."

His hand touched mine, his lips touched my palm as he moved his face a little, He asked, "Vanessa.... Will you ever leave me?"

I smiled at him, I whispered as my tears gave up, "Never.... I don't have life without you now...."

I feel getting pulled into a sudden hug, his strong arms were squeezing me in his embrace. Like he feared losing me.

I heard him, "Neither can I..... There is no Seth without Vanessa..."

I closed my eyes rubbing my hand on his back, I was silently crying in happiness on his words.

He is right... there is neither of us without each other.....

An hour later,

I placed the tray on the table, meeting his eyes. He doesn't look happy about it. I whispered sitting next to him, "Sorry.... on short noticed, I just found some cupcakes in the kitchen, instead of real birthday cake...."

He looks at me as he denied, "You don't need to do that... it's all waste...."

I lighted the candle, I somehow found a small candle in the palace. I whispered, "Form today... Your birthday is my special day.... You are supposed to be happy for me...."

I turned to him finding him staring at me. I know his father died today, but.... but he needs to abandon these feelings. He cannot live like this anymore.

I asked, "When was the last time you had your birthday cake...."

He turned to the small cupcake, he whispered, "When.... I was 12.... that day Dad died..... Mom tried to avoid that day after that, till I ran away ....."

My heart sank in ocean of pain, I whispered, "Sorry.... I will bring a better cake...."

This small cupcake can do nothing to fill the gap for all these years, at least he should have a proper cake.

I tried to get up when he grabbed my hand pulling me back to himself, he whispered, "Vanessa... really this is fine.... If I am honest, I hate birthdays.... It doesn't matter to me..."

I looked down as I whispered, "Sorry...."

I heard him, "But today.... I have a wish..... I want to have few more birthdays with you..... as many I can get....."

I felt him placing a kiss on my lips, I closed my eyes. He parted soon, then he whispered, "Wish me like this every time..... till I die, that's my wish...." He blew the candle out, leaving me with hundreds of butterflies.

He turned back to me, I whispered smiling, "Happy Birthday, Seth...." I tried to give him my best smile, he smiled at me.

Few moments later, He was sleeping on my lap, placing his head on my tights. My one hand was playing with his hairs, while other was tangled with his fingers.

Seth said, "You were waiting for me the whole day?"

I whispered, "Maybe...."

He chuckled, he whispered, "Sorry..... I am ... I thought..... I... I hated being seen like that...." He apologized, and said something like that, there is no shame in being hurt, feeling pain... you can't help it.

I whispered, "No can understand what you felt for years..... But I am here to listen and understand... and be here for you..."

He closed his eyes, like he is avoiding it. Seth said, "Dad planned entire mount for my birthday..... We did everything on my list.... day before my 13th birthday.... we went for shopping, then on my birthday..... we had a family celebration.... We all were happy, he was happy so was I.... Mom also was happy... I remember that day clear...."

I kept my eyes on his face, as his husky voice continued, "I heard something around midnight.... I ran to My Parents room, I saw Dad near the broken mirror.... I tried my best to hide behind the slightly opened door...... She shot him... multiple times... I could do nothing...."

I was horrified to hear that, Seth continued as his eyes met mine, "the gun shots are still clear in my ears.... I wish... I never lived that day, but it plays again and again in my mind..... I have to relive it every time I see her face....... She was the best Mom for me, she use to say she loves me the most.... while she didn't care destroying my family... and Dad's last words were about me......"

I whispered, "Seth.... but what about other side of the story?..... Your mom didn't lie about her life either, right?.... if everything really happened then..."

Seth said as his eyes showed anger and hate, "She never regretted taking away my father. He might be a bad man... but what did I do?"

I lost my words, he is right. What he did?

Nothing!

Seth said, "If... If she simply said sorry to me.... or even tried to explain to me... I would have... have... tried to see her story.... But she shut me away, married a man who helped to cover up my father's murder, had a child with him....... they all are same as my father... at least he didn't pretended to be sane...."

I wiped his tears, closing his eyes, I whispered, "Whatever it was... it's past..... You don't deserve to get hurt like this.... Your heart has right to beat....."

Seth said, "Did Mom really worried about me when I went missing?"

I whispered, "She did....."

He smiled bitterly, he whispered, "at least I have that place in her heart...."

god! he is breaking my heart. I have no words to sooth him. He really is lonely.

I was drifting in my thoughts when I felt him kissing my hand, he said, "From now on.... we won't talk about them ever again.....It doesn't matter anymore...."