Chapter 8 part 1

Matias

"And you're really not going to like it"

There's no way Samuel would still want to be around Matias after finding out he was there for that reason. Matias hadn't even worked up the courage to tell Samuel he did it in the past, let alone that he was still doing it now.

"Matias I'm sure it's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. I'm sure whatever it is it won't change much" Samuel tried to calm Matias's nerves, though it just made him more anxious.

"Okay, but before I tell you, you should know it's also part of the reason I was stealing for so long"

Matias wanted to make sure everything was sorted out before, just in case things took a turn for the worst.

"You said you were in a bad place then, Matias. I'm sure it's nothing unforgivable" Samuel spoke almost like a mother would to their child.

Matias wanted to believe what Samuel was saying. He wanted to believe that him and Samuel were close enough, despite the fact that they haven't known each other for long, for him to just listen and understand. But the reality of it was just too overbearing. The reality was, they had hated each other for years and they only 'made up' in some way a day ago. Matias couldn't trust Samuel like he wished he could. His brain wouldn't let him.

Matias mumbled a few curses under his breath before continuing

"I was trying to get ahold of some drugs" Matias spoke meekly and cringed at how pathetic he sounded.

He watched as Samuels eyes widened and he stared in disbelief. Matias had noticed whenever you mention drugs people automatically assume it involves addiction. But he wasn't addicted. He never believed he was addicted. People didn't often believe him when he said that, but he truly didn't believe he was addicted. He just liked to take the stress off, that was all. If he needed to stop, he could. He just hadn't gotten to that point.

"drugs?" Samuel mumbled "this all happened over some drugs?" He gestured to Matias's injuries.

"Well not exactly" Matias was quick to defend his case

"I went to see a friend to get some, but he told me no. I was going back home when I was attacked. Me getting hurt has nothing to do with drugs" His voice was a normal volume but it felt like he was yelling.

"But that's why you owe Guzantee money isn't it?You owe him drug money"

Matias tensed as Samuel pieced it all together. He noticed Samuel grip tightened as he realized they were a still holding hands. Both of them were clearly uncomfortable for two very different reasons.

"Well that's not the only reason" Matias continued trying to defend himself

"Matias you said you owed him a thousand dollars! Even if a quarter of that is from drugs it's still over two hundred dollars worth of drugs!"

Samuel slowly started seeming less like he was angry and more like he was sad. His voice was no longer lecturing and it now seemed more like he was pleading with Matias. This forced Matias to rack his brain as to what Samuel was pleading for.

"I had just saved the hero. And then I found out that I had been serving him coffee for years" Matias tried his best to explain "I was just wanting something to ease my nerves. Nothing serious"

The look in Samuels eye made Matias gulp louder than he would've liked. He watched as Samuel took multiple deep breaths and closed his eyes for a long moment.

"I'm sorry, this is exactly why you didn't want to tell me" Samuel worriedly said.

Samuel opened his eyes and seemed to stare right at Matias's soul. The soul that not a single person believed was anything but villainous.

"You said drugs are why you were stealing.. when you were in a bad place" Samuel paused "but you're still doing drugs"

Matias could sense the accusation behind his words.

"I'm not still stealing. It's a long story" Matias tried to put Samuel at ease.

"It's a story that I want to hear"

Samuel came off as pushy, but Matias couldn't really blame him. He deserved to know, in a way.

"okay.."

They sat quietly for a few painful seconds.

"I didn't start stealing because of drugs. I did genuinely have some serious money problems. It's just that those money problems caused a bunch of stress and I started to get depressed. Not to mention I was anxious all the damn time"

It took everything he had to keep looking at Samuel as he admitted his past. He wasn't ever really ashamed of doing drugs before. Before if anyone asked what he was doing in that alley he would admit it with no problem. Or he'd make something up purely to avoid explanation, no real shame of what he had done. But this was so incredibly different. Matias hated that Samuel made him feel embarrassed like this. Samuel made him feel weak.

"I know it sounds pathetic, but I was desperate to make it all stop. I started doing that strong junk and by then I was in deep shit. I don't do nothin too bad now, but it was different back then"

Samuel interrupted before Matias could continue.

"It's not pathetic. Addiction runs in my family, I get it. It's the whole reason I never tried any of it. You shouldn't have to be ashamed of this stuff. That's just life"

"You gonna become a poet or some shit Mr. Sentimental" Matias joked

That was an awful habit he had. Any time anything serious was happening or being talked about he would just joke. He didn't want to have serious discussions so he'd just joke as if he didn't care. People tended to ease up after that too.

"I'm just trying to help. You weren't done talking were you?" Samuel urged him to continue.

Samuel seemed to read Matias like a book. Matias was good at biting back his emotions. His face could display nothing as he silently celebrated or grieved or cried. Matias praised himself for that. However, Samuel saw past his face. He paid attention to his words and actions. He seemed to always notice when Matias was going through it, and Matias hated it. Or maybe it made him feel good? Not even Matias really knew.

"Yeah.." he hesitated "drugs cost money, but they also made me stop worrying about money. You can guess where that got me" Matias smiled weakly

"I had to steal more so I could pay for drugs. And then I started needing more and more drugs. I should've realized how fucked I was but.. I obviously didn't."

Samuel tried to comment but Matias didn't let him.

"I got to the point where I was stealing both necessities and drugs. My paycheck from the coffee shop was basically pennies by then. One day I was getting some drugs from Guzantee. Usually there would be some other people around like bodyguards, but I'd been buying from him for so long that he really trusted me."

Matias paused, dwelling in the past for a moment. He hated his past. Hell, he hated the present too but that couldn't even compare. He did his best to avoid thinking about it, so it was extra hard to talk about.

Samuel squeezed his hand with care. He wasn't sure what exactly Samuel was trying to do, but it sure pulled him out of his thoughts. He finally had enough courage to continue.

"I took advantage of him being alone and I held him at gun point. He's a pretty big drug dealer so you can imagine he had all kinds of shit on him just hiding in little pockets. I got what I was getting for me and a shit ton else that was either for himself or to sell to others. Some of it was that rare shit that costs an ungodly amount" Matias tried to make a small joke once again.

Samuel only stared blank-faced at him in response.

"So that's why his men are after you so hard?" Samuel didn't seem like he was really asking, more like piecing it together, but Matias answered anyways.

"yeah, he wasn't too happy about being threatened. Or all the stuff I took, obviously" Matias tried his best to seem casual

His hand had begun to sweat and he tried to pull it away from Samuel. Samuel tightened his grip only a little. It was loose enough where is Matias really wanted to he could pull away, but tight enough that made Matias want to stay.

"You didn't have to be so anxious about telling me that" Samuel spoke up suddenly

Matias looked up with wide eyes. He realized what he must've looked like quickly before settling his face back down to a calm gaze.

"I'm not going to pretend like I fully understand stand what you went through, or even what your going through now"

Samuel paused

"But I'd never react badly to anyone telling me something like that. Especially not you" Samuel assured

What does that mean? Matias's mind roamed. Especially not you. The phrase repeated over and over in his head. It made him feel warm and his heart started beating faster. He felt like he was going to throw up, but was surprisingly unbothered by the feeling.

"Matias?" Samuel refocused his attention on the conversation

"Oh- uh yeah. Thanks." Matias was torn between wanting to shut Samuel out and wanting to pull him in.

"But yeah.. that's why I started and kept stealing. I stopped when I was caught stealing from that lady"

"Mrs. Frank" Samuel informed, catching the reference

Matias was, for the first time in a while, grateful for the short wave of silence.

"Why were you going to get drugs when you went through all that shit with it? I know you said it was nothing serious and that you were worried about what went on between us but you must've learned you lesson right?" Samuel spoke hurriedly.

"That's different." Matias said bluntly, not bothering to elaborate.

"How?! Matias if you keep on like this things are bound to get worse!" Samuel got worked up faster than either of them had expected.

Matias noticed that, while they were together, emotions could shift like crazy. It was probably because they were the hero and the villain, but it was like one second they'd be perfectly fine and the next they'd each be upset. That's how Matias thought of it at least.

"It was just to get rid of some stress. It's not a common thing anymore" Matias tried to calm down the upset man beside him.

"Matias" his voice had calmed down, but his face remained solid.

"I told you, I was raised around people with the same problem. I know how this goes. You're going to think it's just a little until something, anything, goes wrong. And then you're going to crash again. I have no doubt in my mind." Samuel spoke slowly and thoroughly.

"I'm fine. Can you quit tryin to be a hero all the damn time" Matias remarked

Samuels eyebrows furrowed together and his lips pressed into a line. He pulled his hand away from Matias, who was too ashamed to protest.

"What's so wrong with trying to help?" Samuel was obviously doing his best to stay calm.

"Because the last time you tried to help you were wrong about everything" Matias spat bitterly.

Samuel backed up from Matias on the couch.

"You know I'm sorry about that" Samuel had a mix of anger and regret coursing through his voice.

"Yeah? Well that doesn't change the fact that you fought me for years without bothering to get an explanation"

"I tried! You wouldn't talk to me"

"Because that was after you had already tried to kill me multiple times!"

"I never tried to kill you! I'm the hero, if anything I was trying to keep you alive while we fought"

"Bullshit."

The two stared bullets into each others eyes as they bickered. They had both grown tense and were undeniably uncomfortable.

Matias wasn't sure why he had started that. He wasn't sure why he continued it either. No matter how much he wanted to swallow his pride and apologize, he just couldn't. He knew he was wrong, he just felt that he couldn't do anything about it. He was the villain after all.

He stood abruptly off the couch, biting back the pain from his wound as he did. He turned to leave before a hand grabbed onto his wrist.

"Matias please just wait"

Samuel was now also standing, just a few feet behind Matias.

"Let me go"

Matias didn't want Samuel to let go. He really wanted to stay and keep taking, actually. However, what he wanted was pushed away as he acted out of grief he didn't know he had.

"Matias don't be like that. I understand how you feel but if we could just talk" Samuel nearly begged

"There's nothing to talk about" he spun around to face Samuel and pulled his hand away "you're the hero and I'm the villain. We're supposed to fight, just go back to fighting me"

"That's not what I want! I know that's not what you want either" Samuel stepped closer to Matias

"You don't know what I want"

They both stood quietly. Samuel shifted slightly, probably waiting for Matias to speak. Matias carefully thought over his next words. He didn't want to keep being rude, but he didn't want Samuel to think he was being weak either.

"I know better than to do the strong shit. I have learned my lesson. Just because I do it occasionally doesn't mean I'm going to go back to how I was." Matias finally spoke up.

"Matias I know you think you know better than me" Samuel tried to explain

Matias scoffed. He started to turn to leave but Samuel grabbed his wrist once again. Matias kept his back to Samuel, turning his head towards the floor.

"Matias please just listen to me" Samuel begged.

"I can't say I know exactly what you're feeling or thinking when it comes to this stuff, but I do know that you have to stop" He demanded

Samuel walked around Matias so he could stand in front of him. Matias did his best to keep his head down but failed after only a few seconds. It was like Samuel was forcing him to look up without even touching him.

"please Matias just.. just try?" Samuel softly requested

Matias couldn't say a word. He hated telling people about it because they always acted like they understood. But Samuel didn't pretend to know what Matias was going through. As a matter of fact, he did the opposite. He admitted to not understanding, but still wanted to help.

"Sure.. I'll try" he finally said

He watched as Samuels eyes brightened and a smile presented itself on his face. Before Matias could react Samuel had moved forward and was clinging onto him. His arms had a firm grip on his back and his face was buried into his shoulder.

"Thank you" Samuel said quietly, but with excitement in his voice

Matias hummed in response, not trusting himself to say anything else. He hovered his hands over Samuels back, just barely hugging him back.

Samuel pulled back out of the hug, still standing close and grabbing onto Matias's shoulders.

"I'm sorry about everything I've done in the past. I really am. I know that-"

"Don't worry about it" Matias interrupted

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. It really doesn't bother me"

Matias only partially lied. It bothered him that he fought with Samuel for years, but he wasn't upset at Samuel for fighting with him. Matias probably would've done the same.

Samuel wrapped Matias into a tight hug once again. Matias's heart began to beat fast and he felt his face flush. Something about Samuel just drove him insane.

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This chapter probably has more mood swings than middle schoolers do ong