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aut viam inventem aut faciam (m.) i'll find a way or make one

ROSABELLE

I tried hard to sleep away my time on my return journey to Chicago, but sleep never engulfed my senses when my heart was as heavy as a stone.

It hurts. It hurts so much.

The memories will haunt me forever. Where I thought they'd be memories filled with joy and stay in my heart with melody, all it took was a minute to turn my hopes into ashes.

Now, the memories will stay. But as a burden in my aching heart.

It's not like I never imagined something like this. I was never in a committed relationship with Emi in the first place.

But the optimist part of me wished. Wished for something that now remains as nothing but a reminder of my unrequited, foolish desire.

I stared absentmindedly into space for an unusually long time until the voice of the flight attendant brought my attention back to reality.

"We're sorry to let you know that due to sudden unfortunate circumstances, the plane will postpone its flight for the night. We'll be taking our place on the ground floor of Moscow airport in thirty minutes. Thank you."

Murmurs spread through the place as passengers started looking in each other's direction with confusion written on their faces.

I did the same by looking at Nino's direction, and he only shrugged in return, indicating that he didn't know anything about the information.

"We're going back to Moscow now?" I asked in shock, and he nodded in response. "I assume the same, miss."

Seemingly, I couldn't grasp the information, neither on the fact that how severe could be the sudden occurrence that forced the plane itself to return.

I couldn't help but feel a sudden rush of anxiety.

The plane landed on time, and I had to face the familiar environment of Moscow once again.

"I'll inform the boss of the situation and be right back, miss," Nino told me before leaving my sight.

One of my luggage pieces remained by my side, while Nino took the other one with him to ease my burden.

I stood quietly on the ground of Moscow. I had never felt more alone.

And what was more pathetic was that I couldn't even cry in this crowded area. I only managed to stifle a few sniffs as I stood there. My eyes must have been red by now, my nose puffy. I must have looked disheveled.

I was a mess.

I don't know how much time passed afterward, but then I saw something, or rather someone, unexpected. I saw the pair of emerald green eyes I'd recognize anywhere.

A wave of emotions flowed through me.

Confusion. Hurt. And relief.

Emi took fast steps towards me, his eyes never leaving mine for a moment. As he reached my proximity, I could feel every emotion that I felt reflecting in his eyes, probably for different reasons.

But I didn't care.

"Where do you think you were going without even letting me know?" Placing his hands on my shoulders, he asked, and my body shook a little at his touch, always ready to give in. "Where I go doesn't concern you," I replied in a cold voice, trying to shake his arms off me, but it was in vain.

"It concerns me, Belle! It concerns me so much that I nearly..." he exclaimed and then stopped suddenly, his chest heaving up and down in a frantic motion. Then he rested his forehead on mine, closing his eyes slightly. "I nearly did things you wouldn't want to imagine."

Emerald green eyes opened, and I couldn't bear to look at them anymore, afraid that I'd reveal too much emotions, so I turned my gaze away.

But the redness of my eyes was clearly visible and it didn't exceed his view as well. Therefore he made me face him again. "Listen, Rosabelle. I know what's going on in your mind now, and I know that you misunderstood. Everything, pretty girl."

You don't know what's going on in my heart.

You don't know. You don't know. You'd never know.

"There's nothing to misunderstand. I've seen everything with my own eyes. And trust me, I don't hold any grudges for that," I said, shaking my head to stop him from speaking when he opened his mouth again. "We weren't anything in the first place for you to be only with me, so no need to worry about that."

"Bella-"

"We can go our separate ways now. I was going to leave in four days anyway."

I slid his arms off my body and turned to leave. Hoping he'd let me go. Hoping he'd never.

But I didn't know that leaving Emi's sight was never a choice for me. The right only belonged to him. And he proved it by lifting me up from the ground and carrying me on his shoulder.

In an airport filled with people.

Oh, God. This man is crazy!

I shrieked in embarrassment, trying to properly cover my back by pulling the hem of my skirt down. "Emiliano!"

"Don't worry, pretty girl. Anyone who looks at your ass won't live long enough to keep the memory in his head," he said, and I slapped his back in response. "Put me down!"

There was no answer from him.

"Put me down, Emiliano, or I swear to God I'll scream," his slight pinch met my thigh in response, eliciting another yelp from me. "Your screaming will never be my problem, Belle."

"Stop forcing me."

"You gave me no choice but to force you."

Ugh...

In no time, I found myself in the passenger seat of Emi's car. From a distance, I could see Nino being led to another car behind, and my luggage was being carried by two men dressed in black.

Then I looked at him, annoyance in my voice as I said, "Stop being ridiculous and let me go, Emiliano."

He started the engine. "I didn't have you enough to let you go, Belle."

"Yes, you did. We were only dating for a week, remember the deal?" I mocked, only for him to flash a cruel grin in return. "Deals can always change."

I kept thrashing around until we reached my villa. The men in black left my luggage inside the residence before disappearing from my sight.

Nino appeared at that moment, horrified as he watched Emi drag me upstairs to my room. Despite me still thrashing and throwing useless tantrum, the man didn't dare to utter any words in protest, knowing that he might end up in a situation he didn't want.

A part of me never wanted him to protest in the first place. I wanted to see how far Emi could go with his games.

I was pushed against the door of my room after he locked it, caging me between himself and the door. "I had some work left to do today. After I finished, I was planning to come straight to you," he began. "I swear on my name, Belle. But then my brother called me and demanded to meet me in that club because he had something to tell me. That's how I ended up there. One of their strippers came to me and tried to do things I'd never wanted her to do in the first place. I didn't even look at her. So when she purposely sat on my lap, probably thinking that I'd give in, I had to push her. I swear, Rosabelle, I had no such intention of doing whatever you think I would have done."

He ended his speech in one breath, uncertain of my reaction. But I was certain he wouldn't tell me sick lies.

"I never asked for an explanation," I tried to sound composed, but my tone wavered. "You needed one," he responded.

I did need one. It was true.

I was so much more than hurt. I was broken.

"I'm sorry, pretty girl. I never wanted to make you misunderstand. The feeling sucks."

"What feeling?" I asked, trying to mask the quiver in my voice. I gulped when his gaze turned intense. "The feeling that you might be hurt because of me. I can't bear that."

"Are you lying, Emi?"

"I'd rather kill myself than lie to you."

His large hands gently cupped my face, and he looked down at me with a soft gaze.

He kissed me that night, with a mixture of intensity and tenderness, his lips warm and his tongue gentle as he explored my mouth.

At that moment, I somehow knew that Emi was a feared man. He was more than just a businessman; I could feel the depth of his power in that kiss.

In his kiss, I felt the intensity of his presence. My head spun, and my body brimmed with desires that only emerged when I was near him.

He was something between my home and my annihilation.

And I loved him for that.

It was never just a crush.

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