Muscles still sore from this morning I walk the shelves of the library setting books back into the place. I had been building up a selection of them and they were taking up too much space in my rooms.

Even the familiar smell of the library helped settle me. After Demwyn's questions this morning about Daella and the selection it was something I had been thinking about all morning.

The selection was getting closer and to be honest I hadn't been taking it seriously, or giving it any active consideration, other than the fact that I didn't want to be forced to pick a wife at all.

Shelving the last book I let out a heavy breath wanting to stay here all day and forget the world outside for a few more hours. But I couldn't hide from the selection forever.

I make my way out of the library, ready to leave its familiar scent and feeling, I open the door and catch Daella before she walks into me, hands on her arms.

She looks up at me, eyes wide, she is wrapped in fear and breathing heavily like she has been running from something or someone.

"Are you alright?" I ask letting go of her arms and taking a step back as he stand in the doorway.

She nods forcing a pained smile and curtsies. "Sorry for getting in your way." She mumbles quietly before shuffling around me and walking into the library, sitting herself down in one of the armchairs near the fireplace.

She sits, staring at nothing, eyes wide and vacant as she leans forward, hands gripping her dress on her knees.

There is clearly something wrong with her. Was she hiding from someone? I decide to sit in the chair opposite her and watch her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I ask after a moment of silence.

She looks up at me like she didn't notice I was still here and nods. "Yes, I am alright, thank you for your concern."

"This is the second time I've found you hiding in the library for some kind of refuge," I say softly, her vacant eyes focussing on me. I think back to our conversation earlier. "I understand the situation your in is something you're struggling with, but if someone is hurting you or threatening you then you should tell me."

Her eyes widen, fear and hesitation written clearly on her face, she shakes her head subtly.

"There isn't anything you need to concern yourself with, I'm not being harmed. Sometimes I prefer the library to my own rooms, I was just startled by something on my way here." She almost whispers and stares at her knees, releasing her grip on her skirts and smoothing down the fabric. My magic flares sending a flicker of pain, she is only telling a half truth. I only nod and continues watching her as she slows her breathing.

"You were leaving, you don't have to stay." She says softly after another long moment of silence.

"I know." I reply calmly.

"Why are you still watching me?" She asks looking up at me.

"Just waiting." I answer.

"Waiting for what?"

"Waiting for you to tell me the truth."

"I did."

"You told me a half-truth. You told me the reason you were so scared was because something startled you on the way here, although there is a severe difference between being startled and being terrified for one's life, which you were, and somewhat still are. I believe you aren't being harmed but there is definitely something else happening to you that is causing you to feel and react in this way, so I'm waiting until you tell me the truth." I explain slowly.

"Why is it so important to you?" She questions.

I hesitate for a moment, considering her question. "You are important to the Kingdom and the royal court, therefore important to me. If something or someone has you so completely terrified that you reek of fear like you did just now and it is inside this palace then I need to know." I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

"Well this something or someone that terrifies me isn't anything that I need to tell you about, because you already know and it isn't anything hiding in the palace walls it is living at it's very core. And if I happen to feel and react a certain way when I am alone because of it then it is my right to do so, you cannot convince me any different." Her words rush out in a bitter whisper. "Excuse me your Highness, I should be leaving now." She stands and curtsies.

"Wait" I call out and she stops. "Sit back down, please."

She obeys looking at me with defiance and a hint of anger and still that swirling tendril of fear around her.

"If you believe I was trying to suggest you did not have the right to your own feelings then I apologize, that was not my intent. You were genuinely scared and seeing that you are within the safety of the palace walls it made me wonder what it could be. I'm sorry for ordering you to sit back down but I feel like there is more we should discuss while in the privacy of the library and while you have every right to keep your thoughts to yourself as a free person in our court I still hope that you will trust me enough to speak with me honestly." I didn't enjoy the fact that I had ordered her to sit back down but there was something going on and I wanted to know what it is.

"Free Person?" She snorts.

"You are a free person." I say leaning back into the chair.

"I am not free, I am a prisoner. A well-dressed, well fed and well treated prisoner to some extent, but prisoner all the same." She snaps back.

"Is that why you scream into cushions and run terrified down halls?" I ask carefully.

She only nods, rubbing at her eyes and staring at the fire place.

"You don't want to be here, even though compared to your old life, you would be living a much nicer life here with us."

"You know nothing about my old life." She snaps back quickly. "Just because I would be given nice things and surrounded by wealth you think it would be better. None of it would truly be mine and it wouldn't guarantee I would be happy. I would still be married to someone I didn't choose and be made to have children every year until I'm too old to do so, or I die along the way." Her words like an angry stream, like she has been holding back these thoughts for some time and can't hold them back any longer,

"You're right. I don't know anything about your old life. I have seen human villages and cities and seen how they live. And you're right that having all of those things wouldn't guarantee your happiness, but you're not right about the last thing, you wouldn't be forced to have a child every year or until you die. I'm not sure why you think that." I reply, trying to make sense of where all of her anger is pointed.

"That is why we are here, isn't it, to breed children for you because your fae females can't. I just assumed it would be much like it was at home."

"They make the females have children every year where you are from?" I ask in disbelief. I had known they had large families which I assumed was to compensate for the offering. Or to make sure they had women to offer when the time came.

"No, you're just expected to have at least four, but even more is encouraged." She answers quietly, turning to the flames.

"And would you have had a choice in who you marry?" I ask, genuinely interested.

She doesn't answer for a while. "I would like to say yes, but because I am nineteen, I expect if I was still there then I would be persuaded to accept the first man to ask me."

"So either way, your choices are made for you." I say softly, coming to understand where all this anger was coming from. "I would be angry as well."

She is only quiet, watching the flickering flames.

"Either way my future is chosen for me because I was born a woman and not a man." She says quietly.

"Is that why you enjoy reading adventures?" I ask, wondering if it was some kind of escape for her as well.

"Yes, it's nice to imagine and escape for a little while." She smiles sadly at the orange flames.

"It's the same for me, while I won't pretend our circumstances are anything alike, being born a prince has meant certain things, certain expectations and limitations. It's nice to be able to forget all of that for a while and imagine I'm someone completely different making their own path and deciding their own rules and choices." Once the words are out I regret it for a moment, until she turns and looks at me, surprised, understanding in her expression.

"Does this make us friends now?" I ask not able to stop myself. I didn't usually make friends like this, or at all really, I preferred books to people in most situations. But something about her made me want to know more, like reading the first line in a chapter and knowing you are hooked and will spend the next two days reading it at every opportunity staying up to the early hours of the morning until you have read every page.

She shakes her head, the corner of her mouth pulling up in a half smile. "I'm not sure, I've never really had a friend who wasn't my brother or sister. I'd probably make a terrible one."

"Me too, I prefer spending my time reading books then socializing."

"Well at least we have that in common." She smiles at her lap. "Do you truly want to be friends with me?" She asks quietly.

I nod more to myself then her as she watches her skirt. "Yes, I think we may have more in common then we realise and having someone to talk to might benefit both of us." A truth I was coming to understand the more I spoke to her.

"Well I guess if we happen to run into each other then I can put in effort to being nicer to you." She replies, wiping her eyes.

I can't stop the smile on my face. "So generous of you. Does that mean I can ask you a question?" I ask.

"I suppose, only if you don't order me to answer it." She nods, expression serious, still upset I had ordered her to stay here with me.

I nod. "No more orders." I tell her and she gives me a half smile again. "Why were you truly screaming into a cushion when I found you here last, I know you were angry at your circumstances and everything that is out of your control, but was there something else that sparked it?" I hadn't been able to get the vision from my mind since I found her that day. Her answer hadn't squashed my own need to know, to understand what had pushed her to reach her limit in such a way.

She turns to the fire and I think for a moment that maybe she won't answer me. I won't force her, order her, I wanted to be her friend, not someone else she ran away from.

"It is hard to watch all the other girls fall for everything so easily, some of them were happy they were chosen from the start, but the others were just as scared as me, maybe not as angry." She admits. "But then, after only a few days I could see them all just accepting their new lives and becoming these new versions of proper women and I was angry."

"Why did it make you so angry?"

"I guess because I knew I would never be like them, that there would always be a part of me that would resent being chosen and despite all the nice things and beautiful gowns, there would always be a part of me that is angry that I am stuck here in this new life being forced to pretend to be someone I am not and never will be." She wipes at her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I say honestly. Knowing and understanding are two different things. I could know the reason that led her to scream into cushions by herself, but understanding what it felt like is something else. She looks at me with a small sad smile. I preferred the half smile.

"It isn't your fault. I suppose you have just about as much say in all of this as me, well slightly more, but you didn't make the treaty, you didn't choose this year for the offering. You are just following the rules like me." Her small sad smile wavering as her eyes wander, thoughts turning inwards.

"In all the years that I have been aware of the offering and watched it happen, I can honestly say that I have never stopped to consider all of it from your point of view, and I feel disappointed in myself for not seeing it sooner. I know it wouldn't make a difference to any of it, but for some reason when we see the girls being presented and the offering is made, all we are told to see and believe is that they want to be here, that this life is far better than their old ones and that they will be treated so much better than they ever would be in the human world. Even if that were true, even if your houses are better and your clothes are nicer and you are treated like royalty, it still doesn't negate the fact that we are taking young innocent women from their homes and forcing them to live in our world and become part of our kingdom and giving them no choice. Its making it difficult for me to understand why more of you aren't angrier, why more of the girls aren't like you and can actually see the truth of it all instead of being won over by everything they are being offered in exchange for their freedom." The thoughts spill out all at once, wanting her to know I was trying to understand where she was, that her thoughts and feelings were justified.

"Careful, you're starting to sound like you've caught my temper." She smiles. "I think it's because those other girls are much smarter than me. They realise it would make no difference, and in the end they are better off going along with it and trying their best to accept and be happy because there is no other option."

Her words settle into my mind, truth loud and clear. Because truly, there wasn't any other option. They weren't given the option to say no. They weren't given the option to return home. I wonder how many would want to go home if they were given the choice.

The bell rings, striking six o'clock and Daella stands quickly.

"I need to go, I'll be late for dinner."

"Me as well." I say standing as we walk to the door. I hold it open for her. "I might see you tomorrow afternoon then."

She nods and smiles before curtsying and turning on her heel to hurry down the hall.

I wait until she is out of sight closing the door behind me.

I had been listening to Demwyn this morning. I understood how important the offering was to our people. But how could I think on both sides? Being a prince of the fae kingdom and needing to choose a wife from the offering, while also trying to understand Daella's side in all of this.

But it wasn't only the offering. It was the way women were treated in both worlds. That was not something anyone could change on their own. She couldn't change the fact she was born a female any more than I could change that I was born a prince.

We were both born into lives out of our control, choices taken away from us, futures being decided for us.

Is that what friendship with Daella would mean? Like opening the cover to a book already knowing that it is going to change something fundamental within.

It feels like standing on a field, right before your first battle knowing you will never be the same. You can't stop it from happening, it's too late for that, and you wouldn't want to even if you could. You just grip your sword a little tighter and remind yourself to breathe while you wait for your world to change and hoping it will be better at the end of it.

I didn't want to take back my offer of friendship with Daella.

I didn't know what that friendship would entail and how it would change me, but I did know I have been living far too long in this life without meeting someone who makes me question myself the way she does.

We did have things in common and I'm sure we would discover more as time went on. I didn't know if they would lead us to more questions or give us answers but the not knowing only made me want to find out more.