She had basically run out of the kennels, I had scared her, terrified her, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.

It had been a mistake to kiss her, no, no I can't think that, I don't want to take it back, it had been something I had wanted to do since I met her. Only it had been different, it wasn't just my want for her but something more.

Were her thoughts about someone else? She had kissed me back, she had wanted me in that moment I was sure of it.

I let out an angry sigh as I try and shove the last bits of my confusion and anger to the back of my mind before I knock on the closed door in front of me.

I open it walking out as I call out. "Hello Mother,"

Walking into the sun room I see her sitting on one of the chairs near the large window with a book in her hand, I swear she is sitting in the exact same position as last time I visited her, maybe with a different book.

"Aeris," She smiles up at me as I lean down to kiss her cheek. She cups my face in her hands. "I'm so happy you have come to visit me. Sit, sit, tell me everything, did you enjoy the solstice? Your magic was beautiful as always." She says as I sit in the chair opposite hers.

"Thank you, and yes, for the most part." I answer pulling out the cushion currently digging itself into my back and tossing it to another chair trying to forget about the last half of the solstice where I had to stop thinking about a certain someone so I didn't set everything and everyone on fire. "Did you enjoy the solstice?" I ask watching as she sets her book aside and smiles at me.

"Yes, it was good to see our people dancing and singing, and the chosen looked like they enjoyed it as well. What about your brothers? I saw Alvaryn dancing with one of the chosen before I left and he looked very happy." She smiles with an excited expression. The smile doesn't quite reach her eyes like it used to.

I nod looking out the window. "Yes, Alvaryn was dancing most of the night and Demwyn said he enjoyed relaxing for a few hours."

"I'm sorry you had to miss out on dancing with all of those beautiful women." She smiles and I smile at her, resting my chin on my hand. There had only been one woman I wanted to dance with and instead I had to leave her in the arms of my brother.

"It's good that Demwyn was able to relax for a while, he is always so busy with all of his duties that I don't think he gets much time to otherwise."

"That's just Demwyn, all he thinks and does is training and war, he doesn't have an off switch." I say gritting my teeth thinking about the fact Demwyn had said something to Daella, she didn't tell us exactly what he had said, only that he was worried about us. I was more worried that he was getting involved in things that had nothing to do with him.

"You don't mean that Aeris, Demwyn has many added responsibilities that you and Alvaryn do not, he is the general of the army and is responsible for their training, your father wants him to start attending all the council meetings which I know is important but gives him even less time for himself. I'm sure he would love to have free time like you and Alvaryn, yet he carries on with all of his duties with no complaints." She replies and I smile tightly.

"Mother, do you remember marrying Father?" I ask after a moment of silence, turning to the window.

"Of course I do, why do you ask?"

"Were you angry or upset when it happened? Did you feel like you had no choice?" I ask quietly.

"No I wasn't angry or upset, I was raised a Princess, I always knew that one day I would be married off to someone. I was happy that I was able to serve my kingdom and help create peace between our kingdoms." She answers in her soft sing song voice.

"But if you had been given another choice, the choice to choose someone yourself, would you have taken it?" I ask turning to face her.

"Where is this all coming from?" She asks with concern on her expression.

"The Selection." Is all I say, turning back the window with my chin in my hand.

She lets out a small sigh. "Are you worried you will make the wrong choice?"

"What if the one I want doesn't want me?" I ask, seeing Daella run from the kennels.

"That's impossible, any woman would be happy to be chosen by you. I'm sure you will make a good and kind husband, you have nothing to be worried about." She replies quickly and I smile into my hand. Of course she would think and say that, she was my mother.

We are quiet for a while as I continue to look out the window, not really staring at anything in particular just remembering earlier, the way Daella's lips felt against mine, she had been timid at first, unsure, but when she kissed me back she had wanted me and I can't explain the reaction it caused, to know she wanted me the way I wanted her in that moment.

"Aeris," my mother interrupts my thoughts with her kind quiet voice. "I know this is an important decision for you to make, when I married your father I didn't expect anything more than a marriage, one where I would stand by his side and give him heirs. But then over time it changed, he was kind and considerate and love grew, growing even more when you and your brothers came into the world. Just because it is an agreement or an arrangement does not mean you cannot make it into something real."

"You make it sound so simple." I say softly and she shakes her head.

"No, you are old enough now to know any relationship is not simple. They take patience, understanding and time, but if you are kind and considerate and make sure your wife is happy then I'm sure you will end up with a loving marriage as well." She smiles and I force myself to smile back at her.

Her maid walks in with a tea service tray.

"Good afternoon Your Majesty, Your Highness, your afternoon tea is ready. I have an extra setting your Prince Aeris." She says setting the tray down with a curtsy.

"Thank you Emwyth." Mother smiles at the girl.

"Is there anything else your need Your Majesty?" She asks.

"No, thank you." Mother answers and the girl curtsies and leaves quickly.

"Will you join me Aeris?" Mother asks beginning to pour her cup of tea, the steam rising from the spout as it fills the small gold rimmed tea cup.

"No thank you mother, I should get going." I say standing and leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"Alright, thank you for visiting, and please try not to worry about the selection. I know you will make the right decision." She smiles up at me, cupping my cheek affectionately.

I nod and smile before leaving her alone.

If only I could make myself believe that was true.

I knew I cared about Daella, more than I thought I could care for someone who isn't my family, but did that mean I should pick her? What if she didn't want me? She didn't enjoy the idea of being selected by anyone, what if by picking her I only made her resent me for locking her away here forever? Only it wouldn't be forever, she is human, she wouldn't live forever, or anywhere near as long as me.

She is nineteen now, in twenty years, the blink of an eye, she would be forty. I knew the habits of previous chosen and how they would slowly stop coming to events and going out into public once the signs of aging start to show.

I had never stopped to think about what it would be like to have a human wife. I had been arrogant when I was told we would be choosing a wife from this offering, assuming I would pick someone based on their looks and my life would go on much as it has been. I would pick my wife, she would give me heirs and I would go on debauching myself and living as I see fit, having fulfilled my role as prince with a wife and children at home.

But what if I truly cared for her? Would I be able to sit by and watch her grow old being unable to stop it or slow it down? In a moment she would be forty, then sixty, then eighty, she would grow old and grey and look older than anyone I have ever seen. Would I still feel the same way about her as I do now? Would I be able to stand by and watch as she is hidden away, withering each day like a beautiful flower?

And then what about when she dies, what then, we would have what, sixty, maybe eighty years together if we are lucky! How is that supposed to be enough time together? Half of those she would be too old and frail, would she change over time, would she lose her spark, would her wants and desires change? Would she even want me the same?

And then she would be gone and all I would have to remember her by is the children we have together.

Could I really do that? Would it be better for me to choose someone I don't truly care about? Then she could age and die and I wouldn't feel the loss as greatly as if it was someone I wanted.

Daella would still age and die, just not with me.

How do I make an impossible choice?

Either way I would lose her.