I sit nervously with my hands on my lap trying my best to sit still and breathe normally while Quirin stands in front of me, hovering over me. His hand roams around me, not touching me, just sensing me as he called it, using his magic to reach inside me and see me in a way I doubt I would ever understand.

I let out a soft yawn, there was no point in trying to hide it, anyone with eyes could see how exhausted I was.

"You're still having the nightmares when you sleep?" Quirin asks, eyes still closed as he concentrates.

"Yes."

He hums in reply. "I can sense a basic shield in place protecting your mind from the nightmares, but I fear when you sleep your shield no longer remains in its place and they are able to return." He says quietly, his voice familiar and warm.

"How do I make them stop?" I ask as he takes a step back looking down at me, his navy robe falling around him and to the floor.

"You need to strengthen your shield so it remains in place at all times. It is something those with magic are trained to do at a young age." He explains moving back to the table and sitting down.

"But I would need magic for that...I don't have magic...do I?" I ask looking down at my centre where this supposed space existed inside of me.

"No." He answers flatly. "As far as I can tell you do not possess any of your own magic, but there is definitely magic within you, otherwise you would have no shield at all and you would not have woken up."

"So how can I strengthen a shield I have no control over?" I ask, growing more confused by the second.

He lets out a heavy sigh. "I'm not sure. I have been reading up on the ancient texts, trying to find any information we have on the binding ritual but it is limited. Once it was banned many of the texts were destroyed to stop fae from learning how the ritual worked and trying to do it themselves." He explains, his expression troubled.

"No one has even explained this ritual to me properly, at least not in a way I can understand."

Another heavy sigh. "The Princes were desperate for any way to save you My Lady, I felt it my duty to provide a solution, it left little time for explanations. The ritual is one I learned of many years ago in my studies and was designed to share fae magic. In the beginning it even helped develop new magic, joining two or more together to create something new. Kings and Queens used the ritual to strengthen their soldiers or themselves. There were risks involved, and there was no guarantee that the ritual would work or what would be left if it did. The body is a complex system, and magic even more so. Some were more adept at acclimating to new magic while others were resistant and then there were those that didn't even survive the process." He tucks his hands into the sleeves of his robe as he looks over at me. "By the time the ritual was widespread it had become unsafe, not just to those who were killed during the ritual, but to those that refused to the ritual but were forced into it anyways. Males and females, even young ones were stolen from their homes and forced into giving up their magic so others would grow strong. It became clear very quickly that the ritual was too dangerous. It was outlawed across the world and all texts were ordered to be destroyed. It took many years to track down those who knew and performed the ritual and put an end to it. I only stumbled onto it by accident, it was something unheard of to my peers and the idea of sharing magic and creating new magic piqued my interest. The information I found on the ritual itself was basic and clearly written by someone who was no scholar." He smiles sadly. "I never expected I would use it, or present it to the Princes as a solution to your condition, not until there was no other option."

"So if anyone found out what you did, what would happen?" I ask watching him closely.

"When the ritual was banned the penalty for anyone who performed the ritual willingly was death, I fear it would be the same today." He says looking at me and I can't help but stare back at him in shock.

"You risked your life to save me?" I ask in disbelief.

"I am a healer My Lady, it is my sworn duty and purpose in life to serve any who need my help. While I knew I was performing a banned ritual I did truly believe it to be the only thing that could work and bring you back." He smiles, his brown eyes full of a kind of wisdom and strength I would never have.

"Thank you Quirin, thank you for risking your life, for performing the ritual knowing the risk. All three of you risked so much to save me and I owe all of you my life." I say softly, my fingers picking at the embroidery on my dress. "I'm not sure I deserve it."

He stands with a sigh, I didn't know how old he is and I didn't want to know, but even with his fae strength there were still signs of age in his movements and the way he spoke.

"My Lady, you were innocent in all of this, of course you deserve it." He smiles down at me.

"And so now what happens to me?" I ask looking up at him as I stay sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Now we wait, the Princes magic is working, it exists inside of you, it will be up to your body whether it accepts the magic as its own or only uses it to continue to fight off the nightmares." He answers before patting me on the shoulder. "I'm afraid there isn't anything you or I can do in this matter, only time will tell. Until then, I suggest you use the life you have been given to the best of your ability and try not to take it for granted as I try to do."

I watch as he walks to the door and closes it behind him then I stand and start pacing back and forth pressing my hands against my centre where this supposed space was.

All I could do was wait, wait for their magic to work, or wait for my body to accept it, gods what would that even feel like? Having magic. What if my body doesn't accept it and these nightmares haunt my sleep forever? I will never want to sleep again. I already dread the idea of going to sleep. Every night I go through the same routine of lighting candles and checking the dark spaces and then I would sit awake, not wanting to fall asleep but too tired to keep my eyes open.

I didn't want that to be my life. Is having magic my only other option? What would that even make me? Would I still be human or only half human, half fae?

A knock at my door startles me and I take a deep breath trying to calm myself before opening it hesitantly.

"Good morning my beautiful bride." Aeris smiles at me, holding a pink flower in his hand towards me.

"Morning." I smile up at him, standing on my toes to kiss him.

"I saw Quirin on my way, anything to report?" He asks tucking the flower into my hair.

"Unfortunately not."

His expression changes, his hand cupping my cheek.

"We will figure this out, I won't let you continue to be plagued by nightmares every time you close your eyes." He says pressing his lips to my forehead. I lean against him, my hands around his waist.

We stand there together for a moment, there wasn't anything I could say, nothing that would make this any better. There was only one way for the nightmares to stop and nothing I or anyone else did would make that happen.

"I have a surprise for you, if you're not too tired." He says, making me pull back and look up at him.

"Surprise?"

He nods, smiling excitedly. "It's time to wean the pups, they each get their name and collar. I promised you could be there so I thought we could do it this morning."

"Really? Yes that sounds like the best thing right now, getting away from this room, and that bed and being outside." I smile happily.

"Good." He says taking my hand and threading our fingers together to lead the way.

"Once they are weaned they won't stay in here anymore with their mother, they will get new stalls and start their training." Aeris explains as we reach the kennels and he opens the door to the stall.

Puppies jump and run around the small space and I lean down to pet them.

"Now we have four males and two females, so ladies first." He says picking up a stack of small leather collars that he pulls on his arm, holding one in his hand. He looks at the puppies all gathered in front of us then leans down. "Come on." He says up to me. I kneel down beside him as he reaches for one of the puppies.

"First we have Myla." He says wrapping the collar around the puppies neck, she sits relatively still as he fastens the collar in place. "Then Laeli, do you want to do this one?" he asks holding the collar out to me and reaching for the puppy.

I nod eagerly, taking the collar from him. It has a small round silver name tag on it with Laeli engraved on it, I look at the other collars hanging from Aeris' arm and each has the same silver name tag dangling from the brown leather.

"Ready?" Aeris asks with Laeli in his hands. I quickly place the collar around Laeli's neck and fasten it in place.

"Two beautiful names for beautiful puppies." I say rubbing Laeli and Myla's heads.

"And for the boys, we have Fallyn." He continues, checking the name tag on the next collar, placing it on the puppy before handing me the next. "Then, Teryn." He smiles, handing me the puppy, Teryn squirms and wriggles as I place the collar on until I finally set him down. "Bael." He reaches for the puppy currently attacking one of the girls and chewing on her collar.

I reach for the last puppy with no collar and he rolls over in my arms, showing me his belly.

"Last but not least, the puppy formally known as..." Aeris says holding the last collar.

"Belly rubs." I say, finishing his sentence.

"Belly rubs will now forever be known as Kohen." He says placing the collar around his neck and rubbing his head.

"You have a gift for picking names." I smile down at Kohen, my fingers roaming over his round belly.

"Thank you, I would usually do this alone, I'm glad you are with me." He says putting his arm around my back and kissing my temple.

"Thank you for sharing it with me."

"Of course." He says looking down at Kohen in my arms. "It will be sad to not visit them with Moira every morning, but their training will start which I like to help with when I can, that is always entertaining."

"I can only imagine what it would be like trying to train six puppies all at once."

He laughs. "We've had more in previous litters, but it is always fun to watch them learn and grow. Soon they will be big enough to practice tracking and hunting."

"What about Moira?" I ask, looking at her as she licks one of the puppies, sniffing at their collar.

"She will be moved back with the other dogs and return to hunting."

"Won't they miss each other?" I ask looking up at him.

"They will still see each other, but in order to wean them properly it's important that they are kept separate for the most part. It makes it difficult to train them if they are distracted, and they don't need their mother for anything anymore." He answers with a shrug.

"That kind of sounds sad." I say softly, thinking about them being kept apart from their mother.

"They will get used to it quickly, and they will still have each other. Then when they are old enough and have had enough training they will join Moira." He smiles, I suppose to him it just seems normal, he's done this so many times before.

"They unfortunately can't stay puppies forever dearest." He says with his hand under my chin, lifting my face to his. "I don't want you to be upset about this, this is exciting, a new step in their journey, just like the adventures you read. Those hero's you read about don't just stay at home for the entire story, they travel, they go out on their own, meet new people along the way and learn new things. It might seem harsh right now because they still seem so young and small, but just watch, they will love the next part of their journey, they are going to experience so much more, no longer be stuck inside this stall all day and night. They will get to see and learn and smell so many new things."

"I suppose I didn't really think about it like that. You're right, they do seem so small, like babies, and the idea of taking them away from their mother. I guess it kind of reminded me of..." I stop myself, not wanting to think about my mother and the day I was taken from her.

"This is nothing like what happened to you Daella." He says, his hand caressing my cheek.

I nod. "I know." I say softly as Kohen wriggles in my arms.

"I wish I could somehow make it possible for you to have both worlds dearest, where you could stay here with Alvy and me, and where you could still have your family. I know you don't like talking about them, that it makes you sad at the thought of never seeing them again, but who knows what the future holds?" He says sincerely.

"You mean that there is a possibility I could see them again?" I ask, thoughts scattered at the thought.

"I don't want to make promises that I don't know I can keep." He answers, dark eyes staring down into mine. "But I do know that if there was a way, a chance that it was possible then I would do whatever was needed to make it happen."

"Truly?"

"Of course dearest, they are your family, and you shouldn't have to live your life without them." He nods, kissing the top of my head.

"Thank you Aeris, I mean, I know you haven't promised anything, but just knowing that you would want to if there was a way means a lot." I say reaching my hand up to hold it against his cheek. I lean into him, pressing my lips against his. He kisses me back softly, and I swear I can feel that spark of fire magic that lives inside of him in his kiss. I can feel my own want and desire flare in response, always wanting more, never satisfied. One day I won't have to pull back, won't feel that flicker of fear and apprehension, that feeling of not being ready.

"I will always do whatever I can to make you happy dearest." He whispers against my mouth and a shiver runs down my spine.

"And I will always love you for making me happy." I whisper back before bringing his mouth back to mine and losing myself in our kisses.