It is my two hundred and fiftieth name day and instead of the usual celebrations I decided to forgo all of it considering the current situation. I was never one for being the centre of attention anyways, so spending it with my family and Dae was all I wanted.

I knock on mother's door before opening it, while she was technically no longer under guard and could leave if she wanted to she opted to stay in her rooms with her usual servants. Guards were still positioned around the castle, more than usual, after the knowledge we were attacked Father made sure every inch of the castle was covered.

"Good morning Mother," I call out as I walk into her rooms, heading towards the sun room where I know she would be waiting.

"Oh Alvaryn, there you are, happy name day my love." She says standing up out of her chair and holding her arms out to me.

I hug her gently, her delicate frame familiar and comforting. Her sweet scent of lilacs bring a flurry of memories and feelings rushing through me as I hold her.

"Thank you Mother." I smile down at her as she steps back.

"Have you just come from breakfast with your Father and Aeris?" She asks.

I nod. "Yes, they wished me a happy name day and agreed to let go of our usual traditions in exchange for a quiet day."

Her mouth turns down at the idea. "Oh, but you boys always used to love your name day celebrations, we would have cakes and games and so many guests." She smiles, lost in her memories.

"When we were children, yes, but it has been some time since I enjoyed those kinds of ordeals." I shake my head.

"Well, even if we don't have a special event for you, I still have a gift." She smiles excitedly holding her hands together and moving towards one of the tables in the room where a wrapped gift sits. "Open it." She says once I step up to the gift.

I unwrap the paper carefully and find three leather bound books, gold rimmed pages fill the books and the lettering on the covers is engraved in gold.

"They are a set of rare tombs by Thalyron Dannius." She smiles up at me, her eyes wide and excited.

"He is one of my favourite explorer's, how did you know?" I ask, looking down at her in surprise as I run my hands over the cover.

"Alvaryn, I am your mother, of course I knew, you used to read his tales for hours on end." She replies squeezing my arm.

"Thank you, they're beautiful." I say, looking down at the books again. Of course my mother would get me something incredibly thoughtful and ridiculously expensive.

"Of course my love, now come sit with me." She urges, taking my arm and leading me over to the arm chairs.

She sits down first before I take my seat opposite her.

"I want to know about the chosen you spoke to your father about." She begins slowly.

"Daella." I say her name, she wasn't just a chosen anymore. "He told you about that?" I ask, leaning back into the chair.

"Of course, we have no secrets. He told me you and Aeris came to him, telling him you did not want to wait for the selection because you have already selected a chosen to marry." She answers, her words open and expression wary. "Is it true that you both want to marry this Daella?"

I let out a heavy breath and nod. "Yes, it's true."

"And you love her?"

"Yes, I am in love with her."

"I was told that you and Aeris never left her side after she was attacked at the selection." She goes on.

I look up at her, guilt forming in my chest. "I'm sorry I didn't spent more time with you mother, but it was different, she needed us with her."

She smiles sadly. "I'm not upset you chose to spend your time with her my love, if you truly do love her then of course you would choose her. I know you would have done what you felt what was right in the moment."

A small silence fills the space before she speaks again.

"What I am concerned about is that you both want to marry the same woman."

I knew this conversation would happen eventually, that she would want to know more, want to understand. She would never judge us or be disappointed in us, but she would want us to tell her the truth, always the truth.

"Yes, we both intend to marry her." I answer, staring at my knees, not wanting to see the worried expression on her face as she makes sense of the truth.

"Alvaryn, I love you, and your brothers, all I want in this life is to know you are happy, and finding love is a gift I have always hoped for. You have no idea yet what thoughts and fears run through a parents mind as they watch their children grow. But knowing you have found someone you love and loves you in return is a wonderful blessing, not all are so lucky." She starts, I can hear the love in her voice, always constant, never ending. "But you have to know how impossible this situation is, you and your brother will never be allowed to marry the same woman. This idea of sharing a wife is unheard of and your father will never agree to it."

I look up at her suddenly, trying to defend my thoughts and feelings. "It isn't impossible mother, I have found records of polyamorous relationships in the past. Kings and Queens marring more than one husband or wife. Father could make it happen, he could allow the marriage to take place if he wanted to."

She sighs, expression troubled as she watches me.

"I can see how much this means to you Alvaryn, I can feel the struggle and the pain that you are going through. I believe you truly care about Daella, and I wish you could have the life you want, I wish both you and Aeris could have the lives you want. But I know your father, I know he values tradition, while you may have found records of this kind of relationship existing thousands of years ago, your father will not allow something that has faded from tradition and become all but unknown." She reaches her hand out, resting it on my knee.

I look down at it, seeing her engagement and wedding ring on her delicate finger.

"What else can I do mother? I love her. I won't be forced to marry someone else and give her up. Doing so would break me. And I can't even imagine what would happen to Aeris if he was made to do the same, the results would be far worse for our family and our kingdom." I say standing up and walking to the large window, looking out at the grounds below.

"I truly wish there was another way Alvaryn, but your Father is a stubborn man, and given everything that has happened he will not take any chances or make any changes." She replies and I don't need to turn and see her face to know the way it looks. Eyes troubled, mouth turned down, heaviness in her brow.

She wanted us to be happy, to experience love, I didn't doubt that. But I also knew she would have no sway over father, that once his mind is made up there would be nothing and no one that would change it.

"That is his decision to make Mother. Aeris and I have agreed to go to war, we will fight for our Kingdom and do our duty, but once we return choices will be made and he will have to live with the consequences." I say turning back to her, she looks up at me sadly as I lean over and kiss her cheek.

"Thank you for the gift." I say before picking them up and carrying them out of the room.

Mothers words follow me as I walk to my rooms and set down my gift next to the one Demwyn had given me, a hand crafted ink pen with my name engraved onto it. Another thoughtful gift, surprising it came from Demwyn, especially considering our current relationship, or lack thereof.

I didn't doubt Mother knew Father better than we did, she had lived at his side, sharing her life with him and having no secrets as she claimed. She knew his strength of mind and unwillingness to change or make new rules.

He did value tradition, he had followed his father before him, ruling in the same way and while he has been a good and fair King that doesn't mean he is without flaws.

I pick up the small stack of books I had taken from the library last night and head out the door.

I didn't want to think about Father or Mother, it is my name day, which means I should be allowed to be with who I want, and think about what I want.

I knock on the familiar door and wait for it to open.

Dae smiles up at me in surprise, her eyes duller than normal, shadows beneath them.

"Happy name day!" She says wrapping her arms around me as I lift my arms up and out of the way. I can't help but laugh as she all but drags me into her room.

"Thank you." I feel myself smile, instantly feeling lighter and happier when in her presence. "I've bought you some books I thought you might like to read if you're not too tired."

"I'm sure I can manage." She says taking in the books.

We sit down on her bed as she reads the titles one by one.

"Alvaryn, will you really be leaving for war soon?" She asks quietly, eyes wide as she looks up at me and I nod slowly.

"Yes, Demwyn has gone off to look at their camps. And we received a letter from Nievenyth with their demands. Father won't agree to them of course, so it looks like war is inevitable. Once Demwyn returns it won't be long before we leave." I answer honestly, hating the expression in her eyes, and the way she worries on her lower lip.

"What were their demands?" She asks.

"Well, they have claimed to join with the human kingdom. King Davien wants Father to surrender his crown and bow down to him so he will be the ruling Fae Kingdom. Then the human leaders want the treaty we have with them to be destroyed and all their daughters returned to them." I answer, placing my hand over hers.

"Returned? They want us back?" She asks, a mix of fear and excitement crossing her face.

"Yes, I guess they have found better terms for an agreement with Nievenyth. You don't want to go back, do you?" I ask hesitantly and she shakes her head, I let out a breath of relief.

"No, not me, I don't want to leave you and Aeris, but the others, maybe they could go home, I mean they should at least be given the choice, right?" She asks with wide hopeful eyes.

"I don't know, Father has made it clear he won't agree to their terms. I'm hoping that if it is true, that maybe there would be some way to make a new treaty with the humans, something they would be happier to agree to. Maybe one where the women have a choice, instead of having no choice at all." I answer. She nods slowly with a far off look in her eyes.

"Still, you will both have to leave soon. I won't know if you're alive or dead." Her voice is so small and quiet it nearly breaks my heart.

I set down the books on the bed beside me and take her face in my hands.

"Dae, it's alright for you to be scared. But we aren't just going to disappear. We will write to you as often as we can. We have fought wars before and we have always come home. This time will be no different, only when we do come home then we can finally be married." I say, smoothing the pad of my thumb over her cheekbone.

"I don't want to think about you leaving and going off to war." She says determinedly. "It is your name day, we should be celebrating." She smiles at me.

"What do you have in mind?" I ask, eager to hear her ideas.

"Well, because I couldn't get you a gift." She starts.

"Dae you don't have to give me anything, just spending time with you is more than enough." I interrupt her, not needing or wanting any kind of gift from her.

She smiles again, a secret behind her eyes as she moves, tucking her legs under her so she is sitting on her knees and I move back, making room for her as I let go of her face.

"Well I want to give you something, I want you to know how much I love you." She says, placing her hands on either side of my face, she leans forward and kisses me.

My brain stops and starts as it does every time she kisses me, like a shock to its system it struggles to keep up with what is happening for a moment before it comes back to itself, then everything else moves to the background and my sole focus is Dae.

Her lips move against mine, her tongue licking at my lips before I open my mouth and let her in. Her body moves closer, hands on my shoulders now as she starts climbing onto my lap.

I pull back breathless. "Dae, we don't have to do this, I know you're not ready." I tell her softly.

"I know, but I want this to be special. We won't do everything, but I just want to know what it is like to feel you with me." She breathes before her lips find mine again and I don't stop her, don't pull back.

I already know I would give her whatever she asked of me, do whatever she wanted. My hands roam over her waist and around her back pulling her closer to me as she straddles my lap.

She has no idea how completely helpless I am against her, how willing I would be to give her anything in this moment.

She starts unbuttoning my jacket, her fingers working each piece and I can feel my heartbeat kick up a notch as she pulls it from my shoulders and over my arms before throwing it behind her somewhere.

My hands find her hips, my fingers digging in as her lips crush mine again, her tongue moving against mine as her fingers move to my shirt, more buttons and ties come loose and then she is pulling it over my head and tossing it over her shoulder.

She smiles down at me before kissing me again, then her hands are on my bare skin and I feel a line of fire follow her trail as her fingers press into my shoulders and my back.

She pushes against my chest and I lie down as she follows me, legs wrapping on each side of mine as my hands hold her waist and she plants kisses along my jaw and down my neck.

"Is this okay?" She asks in between kisses.

"It is more than okay." I answer, trying to remember how to form words as her lips follow my collarbone and over my chest.

She moves back up, one hand holding my jaw, the other threading through my hair as her lips melt into mine again. And while I know there is so much more I want to do with her, right here and now it doesn't matter.

In all my past experiences it has never felt like this, my want and desire has never burned like this. I would wait for an eternity to be with Dae if that is what she wanted and I would never complain, never ask for anything more, knowing that if this is all she wanted I would be happier than I have ever been before.