•please play the provided song for a Better experience•

everything was dark, all i could hear was my own breathing and my heart pounding in my chest. i had no vision, no idea of where i was and what i was doing.

suddenly a voice echoed behind me, it was a soft laughter and yet it sounded so familiar. I swiftly turned back and finally something started to form before my eyes, a vision emerging from the shadows.

Everything slowly got into place and I could now see a vivid scene before my eyes. It was Tom's house, though it felt so... warm and cozy. Unlike its usual coldness, it didn't seem like a prison anymore. It felt just like a... home.

The laughter echoed again, the sound was coming from the kitchen. regardless, I started stepping forward, making my way down to the kitchen.

First, my gaze landed on him; Tom. He was standing next to the oven, a gentle smile on his lips. Was he... cooking?

Then, in an instant, my attention shifted to a girl who was seated on the counter beside him. I gasped as I realized that it was...me, I was looking at myself from the a distance.

I had the urge to move, to say something, but it felt like I was frozen in place, unable to budge.

"I want a special bread too," she giggled. It was me, my own voice. I could swear I heard her, heard myself.

"So, spaghetti with a special bread, huh? Any other orders?" Tom teased, a mock surprise in his expression as he arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, and I want you after my meal," she replied playfully.

"But I want my desert before the meal, may I?" Tom asked, a playful grin forming on his lips as his hands gently held her waist, placing himself between her legs.

"Sorry no can do, I'm hungry," she laughed, her laughter light and free from any hidden pain, just pure joy which made my heart sank. We were finally...Having a good moment there...

"I can wait," Tom mumbled, his warm fingers tracing her cheek with love. I could sense it, his touch on my face. I was watching us from the distance.

He then leaned in, his warm lips gently meeting hers. In that moment, my voice broke through the surreal scene.

"Tom!" I managed to call out, the sound escaping my throat.

"Tom! I'm right here!" I exclaimed, my emotions welling up and causing tears to stream down my cheeks.

"TOM!" I cried out with all my might, his name a desperate plea. suddenly his lips left hers, and he swiftly turned his head, locking his gaze on mine.

I hurried towards him, my heart set on getting closer. But just as I was about to reach him, just as I was about to throw myself into his arms, the scene slipped away like a wisp of smoke. everything faded away as well as Tom, I was so close to reach him, to feel him but I was now surrounded in darkness again. And this time there was tears running down my face, I was overwhelmed by loneliness once again.

My eyes were closed and my hands pressed against my head as my sobs echoed in my ears. what was happening around me!?

"Lisa?" His voice cut through the turmoil, my heart plunging. I wanted to look, to see if he was really there, but the fear of him disappearing held me back.

"T-Tom?" my voice trembled.

"Open your eyes Lisa," He said, his voice was near and yet his voice sounded so weak, unlike his voice in the kitchen.

I slowly opened my eyes, only to find myself in Tom's bedroom now. My gaze swept around the room, finally landing on Tom who was seated at the edge of his bed. His eyes right on me, I could sense pain in his gaze.

I rushed towards him, my body colliding with his as I wrapped my arms around his chest. "Tom! Why did you leave me?" I whimpered. gosh how much i've missed to be in his arms again; to be in his warm embrace.

His hand found its place on the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. "I had no choice, darling," he murmured as I sobbed beneath his arms.

I hugged him tighter, not willing to let go, "Why!?"

He paused for a brief of moments, crossing my head. "Because all I know and all I can do is to hurt people," His voice sounded so soft and warm.

"I knew that if i've stayed, I would've just hurt you more than I already did and..." He paused again, letting out a sigh.

"And I can't stand seeing you hurt again," he continued, pressing a tender kiss on my head.

"No, No, Stay with me," I pleaded onto his chest.

He gently patted the back of my head, his forehead touching mine. "I'm sorry, Darling, but it's time to wake up," he murmured.

"No! Please, no," I whined, clutching onto him tightly as if to prevent him from slipping away once more.

"Wake up"

My eyes shoved open, sweat all over my face and body. I gasped for air, I needed a few moments to calm down. I gazed around only to realize that I was dreaming, again.

None of them were real, he wasn't actually here, he wasn't holding me, it was all just a fucking dream.

I pressed my face onto the pillow, still in denial that he had actually left me, He was gone... I don't even know for how long, How many weeks! I had lost count of days.

I thought that if he left me alone, I would be able to breathe, but oh God, how wrong I was. Now my heart is heavier than ever, as if something heavy was pressing down on it, suffocating me.

I hate myself for admitting this but, I miss him. I can't stand only seeing him in my dreams I need to hold him again, I need him to hold me tight in his arms and never let go of me.

I released a deep sigh, mustering the strength to pull myself up from the bed and push myself off its edge. My legs felt heavy, lacking the energy they needed to carry me, but the urge to use the bathroom compelled me to move.

The only time I get out of my room was to grab food or drink and bathroom. I had been laying down on my bed so much that sometimes walking was a struggle. Well that's how I spend all these times without him, doing absolutely nothing, only crying myself to sleep for having no hope to live.

I'm completely alone, not even possessing enough money to escape the country. Yet even if I had, I'm not sure I'd leave. Somewhere deep inside, a quiet longing wishes for Tom to reappear at my doorstep.

Another sigh escaped my lips. I'm just being foolish. He doesn't care about me in the least, which is why he left in the first place. After doing all the possible things he could, to me.

"Uh.." I groaned, my room was a total mess, much like the rest of my house and my life. My room looked the same as the day he left, some parts of the walls were broken, all my belongings were smashed around the floor, shattered glass still littered the ground. I couldn't bring myself to clean them all, it felt impossible.

With slow steps, I made my way towards the bathroom, I had to push a few food boxes to be able to open the door. These were junk foods now covered in mold, a sight that made my stomach churn and twist.

A wave of nausea hit me just from looking at them. Did I eat too much last night? I wondered as I rushed to the toilet. Before I knew it, I was leaning over the toilet bowl, emptying my stomach from all the junks I had eaten last night.

"Fuck," I mumbled after I finished, my throat felt heavy and my hands were cold. I felt dizzy but I eventually managed to pull myself up, facing myself on the mirror.

My eyes were sunken, dark circles highlighting the exhaustion. My skin appeared paler than usual, giving me the appearance of a terrifying creature, one those that only appears at nights and hovers beside your bed.

I shook my head before allowing the cool water to splash over my face, brushing my teeth after. Then i gazed back at my reflection in the mirror again, as if searching for some hidden strength in my own eyes.

My gaze landed on the necklace Tom had given me, and my fingers clenched around it. The memories of him fastened around my neck, like the necklace itself, as if it was just yesterday that he had placed it there.

Stop! I'm tired of this, Tired of crying, Tired of feeling stupid and pathetic all the time. I need to come to my senses, I need to do something.

I got out of the bathroom, then I gathered my hair into a loose ponytail. First thing first, what would the old Lisa do? The Lisa once I knew! I pressed my lips together in determination as I gazed around, uh yeah definitely starting by cleaning all these junks.

••Tom'a P.O.V••

8 Weeks ago

I couldn't see the street clearly, my tears had made my vision a blurry mess but I couldn't care less, I was speeding down with the highest level of speed.

I had abandoned her and it was as if a big piece of me was left behind too. I was hurting her, I can't control myself when i'm in rage, "Fucking god damn it," I exclaimed, my fists pounding the steering wheel in frustration. God it was so close, I was so close to kill her myself, with these bloody hands.

I shoved another hard punch on the steering wheel, I had really left her, the realization hit me hard but i'm no good, I am just a sick and twisted man who doesn't even know what he is doing. Just like what she always says.

I knew she would've died in my hands if I hadn't left her behind. It was my only choice, even if it is tearing me apart from the inside.

I don't know how I managed to get back home. I narrowly avoided crashing countless times, but somehow I made it in one piece.

I got out of the car, frustration coursing through me. I kicked the entrance door open as I stormed in, my emotions resembling a raging storm that I needed to release onto something.

I started to break the belongings, starring off by the closet objects around me, I couldn't stop yelling, smashing the things onto floor.

The sound of them being crashed onto the floor were echoing in the hollow and cold house. it didn't felt like a home anymore, not without her.

Bill was standing upstairs, watching my moves with concern, the rest were terrified, I knew they didn't have the balls to come out and face me.

After what felt like decades, Exhausted and drained, my throat raw from all the shouting and with the wreckage of my anger strewn around me, I finally slumped into a corner and I buried my face in my hands.

minutes passed, still setting in the same position, not willing to move; feeling like a dead man. But not long after, I heard a footsteps approaching me, "What have you done?....W-where is Lisa?!" Bill asked, keeping his voice low as possible, almost in a whisper. Unlike when he was in the phone with me.

"Tom?"

"She's home..." I muttered, my voice trembling, each word causing a sharp pain in my throat.

"I'm no good to be around her,"

opinions loves :)