part two

' fever dreams '





carmens pov

my head spun. i knew this was a dream half awake half asleep. it haunted me.

their faces.

all of their faces. like words printed onto the walls in blood, bold, and noticable at first glance. horror. horror what was i felt like. i felt like shaking but i knew it as a nightmare so i couldnt.

i couldnt move, i couldnt breathe, couldnt look away.

i was stuck.

rotted to the ground i stood on.

first was the little girls face. her haunted expresion her looks that reminded me too much of my own. her small frame shaking, how skinny she was, how sickly. she haunted me. her face. her small voice. calling for help. screaming for me to safe her as i stand there stuck to my place.

i reached out but to no avail. i cant reach her.

behind her is the woman i thought my mother. her hands rest on either side of the little girls shoulder clutching them. '' little whore'' she mutteres on repeat like a broken record. her eyes cold. and she has stab wounds covering her body.

the ones i gave her.

she is crying too once in a while telling me it hurts, that i am evil for doing that to her. i agree. the guilt eats at me, i cant save the little girl and i cannot safe my mother because i am the one she is to be keept save from.

on either side of them stands my family split up as they now are. rico and vinnie and dad one side starring at me with distaste.

how could i leave my family for two men i just met. vinnie snerrres like a angry dog. and i hate myself for it. i try to tell him how i feel but its a nightmare i cant speak. i cant move. i cant breathe.

its like being dead.

dad yells at me telling me i am his worst daughter and that i am the most hated of his kids. that he would never look at me again. his words cut through my heart and soul. and i cry i think i cry in real life too, i think i cry both ijn this nightmare but also in reality.

i dont know.

i cant wake up.

im stuck here.

rico cries, he never cries but he does now, he cries and weeps and asks me how i could leave, he screams at me that he needs me, that i left him with his nightmares all alone. i feel it eating me up, the guilt and shame.

the self hatred it eats me up.

and on the other side stands ronnie, giana, adonis and mum.

mum dosent say anything but her eyes are filled with hate i know that look, i know she hates me now.

ronnie stands in horror as she tells me i am disgusting for having two men, she tells me to never speak to her again that i am better of dead, and that she hates me as much as our mother now does. i understand her and yet i want to carve out my head and heart so that this ache stops.

giana gives me one dirty look and then turns away.

hands roam my body now. dirty hands, dirt under his fingers and nails and i know who he is. i know him. the man i thought my father for years. his hands are dirty as if he dug himself out of his grave. rotten and blue. he whisperes my name like a sin, like i hate it. and i do now.

i hate my name because of him.

i wish i could erase it, erase him but i cannot. i cry i cant breathe, i want to die here.

i want it to swallow me whole and let me give up.

the girl the girl he killed lays before me bloodied and naked. dead. her eyes haunting me as the voices of those around me deafen me. she looks at me in hatred even dead.

and then finally i see them.

two heads with dark hair, beutiful bodies, eyes of wonders. and they stare down at me. '' we hate you carmen '' they say in unison.

'' you left us '' santos seethes with hatred.

'' i never want to see you again '' nicolas says for the both of them as he points a gun at my head.

and then it goes of and everything goes black.

i hope i am dead now.

i hope they stop hating me one day.

i hope this nightmare stop.











nicolas pov.



two things gave me pleasure in life, first of all killing the thrill of blood on your hands and a life slipping between your fingers, a thrill i was sure i couldnt find anywhere else until i saw her.

fuck.

she was a rollercoaster of emotions. and i couldnt even grasp onto what was happening half the time.

it didnt matter she was perfect. crazy, deranged, and a wreck if you look closed enough, surely, but she was fucking devine.

a body to die for and a mind that could kill you, and those eyes, fuck. those eyes.

and seeing her coated in her mothers dried blood didnt frighten me as much as it should've, it didnt unsettle me. quite frankly it turned me on. she was hot covered in blood.

but i was still angry at her for leaving, so fucking angry.

i didnt know weather to be happy her mother didnt die from the inpact of carmens hits and cuts, so that my precious little baby wouldnt have to feel guilty for killing her mother, or if i was pissed because it meant i couldnt keep carmen down here in the basement for long before someone noticed and her mother began asking for her.

i would kill the fucking cunt and then return to my baby and fuck her raw till she had no doubt who the fuck she belonged to.

maybe i should break her pretty legs to make sure she wouldnt run of anywhere.

luckily santos had already taken up on the luxery of chaining the little runner to the bed she was laying on, there were no windows here and only one exit which only me and my brother had the key to.

she was stuck down here.

just like i liked it.

i kissed her fingers gently she would still have to recover from the stress and so on, so for now i was gentle, till she woke up atleast. till then i could be sweet.

but i was still burning with anger.

i walked into the cell next to my cruel loves. a sick grin spreading across my face at the condition of my newest body to my collection of victims.

my lattest punching bag, my next anger tool, my next canva to paint bloodied. and soon my next murder.

'' tell me what you did to my love and i'll perhaps let you die a quick death''