"And then I said," I unbuckled my seat belt just as the car stopped moving. My hand searched the handle aimlessly, but I managed to find it in the dark.

"Hold on." Riccardo said and opened the door on his side, rushing my way.

"I said, fuck you Theodore, don't say my brother is hot." I exclaimed. I stumbled out of the car just as Riccardo got to me. He wrapped his hand around my shoulders, keeping me steady.

"He thinks Santo is hot?" Riccardo chuckled and looked down at me. I groaned and shook his hand off me before walking towards the house.

It was a bad decision, because I couldn't even take one step before losing my balance.

Riccardo was quick to catch me, preventing me from diving headfirst into the bushes. "How much did you drink, anyway?"

"Too much if I'm actually here." I mumbled, looking at the big doors ahead of me. Why the fuck did I agree to come back here, drunk?

"All we need to do is be extremely quiet, okay? Let's not wake anybody up, we can explain everything in the morning." Riccardo proposed, leading us carefully to the entrance.

I nodded. "Agreed." I can't take a lecture while feeling like throwing up.

"Ready?" he whispered, and after one nod from me, he opened the door. The house was eerily quiet and dark, making me shiver.

That's some horror movie shit right there.

"Can you climb up the stairs?" he asked, and even though it was dark, I could still see his amused face.

"Move before I'll punch you." I narrowed my eyes at him. He raised his hands up, gesturing towards the stairs with a smile. "Go on."

"Oh, be sure I will." I muttered, looking all the way up to the second floor.

It's just a billion steps, I can do it.

"I can't do it." I turned around to look at him. He shook his head with a small smile before turning his back to me.

"Hop on, weakling."

"I'm not a weakling." I argued, but still got on his back. My legs and hands were wrapped around him, and my head rested on his own.

I'm so tired.

"I never let the stairs defeat me, no matter how drunk am I." He whispered, and I opened my eyes to look at him just as he started to walk again.

"You had practice." I pointed out, tightening my hold on him. "I've been here for a month, it takes time."

He turned his head ever so slightly, looking at me past his shoulder. "You'll have a lot of time to practice now that you're back here."

"Yeah." I whispered, my lips twitching upwards.

I told Riccardo I want to try, and I'm really hoping it wasn't a drunken mistake.

No one knows what happened that night besides Jace, and of course Theo and Ares who were there with me. I refuse to even let my mind remember it, so letting other people know seems so difficult.

But Riccardo shared his story with me. Maybe I can do it too.

"We're here." he pinched my leg, making me immediately jump off him from the surprise.

The loud noise made us both widen our eyes, but what really made me panic were the sudden footsteps coming from the inside of Alessandro's room.

Why is he not asleep?!

"Quick!" Riccardo whispered frantically, and before I could even realize what was going on, he pushed the two of us inside his room.

I was about to comment on the fact that we almost got caught, but then I realized where we are.

I'm actually inside Riccardo's room.

No lights were on, but the light from the moon was enough to illuminate his room. I don't know what I was expecting, but definitely not this.

Unlike everybody else's rooms, Riccardo's bed was placed in one of the corners instead of the middle, making the room look so much bigger.

Duke is sleeping peacefully on it, or at least was. He glanced our way for nothing more than two seconds before resting his head back on the mattress, completely ignoring us.

I tore my eyes off him, now looking at the rest of the room.

There were giant boards on the walls, all covered with maps and photos of people. Circles and X's were drawn all over them, and the floor was full with papers and bags.

What the hell?

"I think he's back inside his roo- shit."

Riccardo rushed past me, collecting the papers and notes from the floor.

"What are those?" I asked, squinting my eyes at one of the maps on the wall. A big red circle was drawn over a street I've never heard of, and a small X on its inside.

"Those are..." Riccardo came to stand next to me, a pile of crumpled papers in his hands. "Those are maps."

He glanced at me once before walking towards his desk.

"I can see." I snorted and followed him. "Why do you have maps and pictures on your walls like some top notch detective?"

Now it was Riccardo's turn to snort. "I'm not a detective."

"So?"

"My job in our business is to find people. Like... People who own us." He explained slowly.

His eyes kept darting back to the wall behind me, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out he completely forgot about it before letting me inside his room.

"Why are you being weird if it's your job?" I chuckled, turning around to look at the photos again.

There's a photo of an angry blonde guy right in front of me, a giant X on his face.

"What does he own you?" I pointed at him, but then waved my hand. "I mean, owned. That X means you got your stuff back, right?"

"Right." Riccardo mused, putting both of his hands on my shoulders before swiftly turning me away from the photo.

"Oh, come on!" I whined and wiggled out of his grasp. "Tell me something, like..."

My eyes roamed around the room, eventually settling on one of the black duffle bags on the floor.

"What do you have in this?" I crouched down, but before I could even touch the bag, Riccardo lifted it up.

"Oh, that's not..." he smiled nervously and placed it on the top of his closet, far away from my reach.

I groaned and gave up, lying down on the cold floor. "I feel like a kid who can't play with the other kids in the park."

"It's complicated." He offered, looking down at me. "My work, I mean."

"Yeah, yeah." I waved my hand with a scowl. "That's what Alessandro and Amadeo say."

Let me tell you, trying to fish out information from them is so hard. They are so slick, always managing to change the subject just in time.

"How about you go to sleep, and we'll talk about everything in the morning?" Riccardo stretched his hand out, and I reluctantly took it.

"Duke!" I smiled and jumped on Riccardo's bed. I feel like I never get to see him. He usually follows Riccardo, and Riccardo is basically a ghost.

Duke opened his eyes and sniffed my face before licking it. "Ugh." I groaned and buried my face inside the soft pillow.

We might not see each other a lot, but when we do, he always licks my nose. I hate it.

"I guess you're sleeping here, then." I heard Riccardo mumble after a few seconds when I made absolutely no move to leave the bed.

"Yeah." I yawned and kicked my shoes off, not opening my eyes once. His bed is really comfortable.

"You don't want to change?" he questioned, and I was so close to throw a pillow at his face.

"I'm drunk and tired. I don't care if I'm sleeping in denim shorts." I grumbled, and the sound of his chuckles reached my ears.

I turned on my back just as the left side of the bed sank. Riccardo climbed to lie down next to me, careful not to touch Duke.

"Just because you decide to take over my bed doesn't mean I'm sleeping on the couch." he narrowed his eyes playfully, and I found myself smiling.

"It's so weird." I said, looking up at the ceiling.

"What is?"

"Being here. Having brothers, you know?"

"Not really." He gave me a small smile. "But try having a sister, that's weird."

I slightly nudged his shoulder, making him laugh. "A good weird."

"Yeah." I nodded, brushing my hair behind my ears. "It's a good weird for me too, I think."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes, and I could almost feel myself drifting off when Riccardo spoke again.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm?" I flattered my eyes open. His own eyes were locked on the ceiling, but turned to look at me after I hummed.

"I mean, after what happened with Alessandro and-"

"I'm okay." I gave him a small smile. "He was worried and I was already pissed off, so I guess we both reacted..." A yawn escaped my lips. "Poorly."

"I may not always... Like Alessandro, but he just wanted to make sure you're feeling alright. We all did."

I nodded. I spent the entire day pondering over what happened, and I get that. I really do. It's just...

"Everyone here cares about you, you know that?" he whispered, and I felt like his eyes could see exactly what holds me back.

"I'm trying to believe it." I said, closing my eyes again. I could feel his gaze on me as I turned my back to him.

"I've been hurt by a lot of people." I yawned, feeling my body shut down. "It's hard to trust others again."

°°°

I'm never drinking again. Never, ever, not even in a million years.

Well, maybe at least until my next breakdown.

I groaned and snuggled even closer to the pillow. My head hurts so much, and my throat feels like I've walked through an entire desert.

My pillow rumbled beneath me, sometimes that caused me to furrow my eyebrows.

Am I still drunk?

"Are you feeling like death?" A loud voice made me wince. I closed my eyes and groaned again, feeling like my head is about to explode.

After a few seconds I managed to open my eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the sunlight.

This is not my room.

I sat up immediately, my pulse beating fast in my ears. I looked down at the bed, only to find Riccardo smirking up at me.

What the hell is he- oh.

Everything about yesterday came crushing down, and I slumped down back to the bed.

"Good morning."

"Turn off your mouth." I grumbled, pulling the blanket over me.

Riccardo laughed, making me kick him.

"I'll make you something to eat, alright?" he stretches his hands after getting out of the bed. "So you can take some painkillers."

I tried to say thank you, but all that came out was a sound that'd put a dying horse to shame.

"What was that?" he bended over to yell in my ear, almost making me fall off the bed. Fucking asshole.

I threw the blanket off me soon after he left the room. I really do feel like death.

It took me a few seconds to remember why the hell Riccardo has maps on his walls, but even after I did, something just didn't make sense.

What can people possibly own to their company that the police can't take care of? I mean, if people steal from them, why not let the cops handle it?

Whatever, it's not like I own a business. I know absolutely nothing about those kinds of situations.

So, with one last groan, I left the bed. My legs feel like jello, just like my brain.

I yanked Riccardo's door open, praying to God I won't run into anyone. Just as I put my hand on my door's handle, the only sound I wished to escape was heard.

Somebody just left their own room. Of course. I closed my eyes in defeat, letting my head rest against the door.

"Olive?" Santo asked, and I slowly turned my head to look at him. Only that it wasn't just him.

Both he and Rivo were standing outside of his room, looking at me with confusion.

"Don't talk to me." I muttered, twisting the handle and stepping into my room. I need to take a million showers before I interact with someone.

"When did you-" Rivo started, and the only thing he saw before I shut the door in his face was my middle finger.

I still think he's an ass.

I wasted no time, immediately picking clothes and getting in the shower. I let the water burn my skin, finally feeling a little bit more alive.

After brushing my hair and teeth, I allowed myself to take a deep breath before changing the bandage on the side of my neck.

It still hurts, but thankfully not that much.

I threw my dirty clothes in a pile on my floor, but something was still missing. Where the fuck are my shoes?

I ran my fingers through my hair and rolled my eyes. Of course. Riccardo's room.

Normally, I'd get annoyed I have to walk again just to retrieve my shoes, but I'll do anything to postpone meeting everybody.

I'm nervous, I'm not going to deny that. Meeting them means talking to them, and I have no idea what to tell them.

I want to back off from my promise to try so bad, but at the same time, I want to get this over with.

I can't explain how tiring it is to carefully think before speaking, so scared to say something that'll lead to questions.

Fuck, I need to stop over thinking before I'll regret it.

"Come on." I crouched down to pick up my shoes. That very movement made my head spin, and I fell right into the bed.

Great.

Turning my head around on the mattress, I came face to face with Riccardo's walls of glory.

My eyebrows furrowed even deeper as I left the bed and started to walk towards it.

Everything about it was so weird, especially the photos. There were all kinds of people, but only two with a green circle around them.

One of them was an older man, around fifty. He had blue eyes and a short dark hair, and something about his stoic face made me feel uneasy.

The other photo was one from a security tape. It was taken in an elevator, all black and white. The man in this one was wearing a baseball cap, but he wasn't trying to hide.

He was looking straight into the camera, a slight smirk tugging the corners of his lips.

"Olive! Food's ready!" Riccardo shouted, making me jump in my place. I immediately turned around to pick up the shoes and get the hell out of his creepy room.

I opened my door and threw them in, already turning around towards the stairs.

I may don't know how to deal with my brothers, but I definitely know I need painkillers.

Oh man, I can't imagine how Theo and Ares are feeling. Those guys drank twice as much as I did.

"She's fucking drunk?" Rivo's voice traveled all the way up to where I stand, and with one eye roll I started to walk down the stairs.

"Was. Past tense all the way." Riccardo said, and the sound of plates clashing followed his words. "I made you some breakfast too. Eat."

I entered the kitchen in that exact moment, preparing myself for the stares and questions.

But none of those came.

Instead, Santo's and Rivo's eyes were completely locked on Riccardo.

"You?" Rivo pointed at the plates on the kitchen island. "You made us breakfast?"

My eyes stayed on his face as I sat down a few seats away from both of them, and not once did they glanced at me.

What a nice welcome, shit.

"Don't!" Santo called just as I picked one of the straps of bacon on the plate. His loud voice made me scowl, but I didn't drop the bacon.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes, looking at his wide ones.

"I think it's poisoned." he said cautiously, making Riccardo groan and throw a towel at his face.

"Luckily for you, I ran out of poison just this morning. Now eat." he instructed, and that was all I needed to hear before stuffing it inside my mouth.

It can be actually poisoned for all I care. I'm starving.

"You look like shit." Rivo commented after a few minutes, and I stopped chewing. I looked up from my plate to see him looking at me with a frown.

Santo elbowed him, hard.

"I mean," Rivo held his hand up, his eyes meeting my harsh glare. "You look like you had a shitty night."

I rubbed my eyes and put my head on the table. "It's the stupid hangover."

Riccardo chuckled and slid a pill towards me. "I think you've eaten enough to take it."

I smiled thankfully and held my glass of water to my lips, swallowing it.

"What time did you even get here?" Santo leaned on his elbow, looking right at me. I pursed my lips in thought before answering.

"3AM, I think."

"So your improvisation plan went well, huh?" he asked Riccardo, who was just finishing making his own plate.

"What can I say." he smirked, sitting down next to me. "She begged me to bring her back here."

"That's not..." I shook my head, making myself groan. "Fuck, I think I'm going to lie down for a second."

"Your loss." Rivo shrugged, picking up my plate and emptying it into his own. "Riccardo cooking is a one in a million years thing."

I didn't bother to listen to the rest of the conversation, only focusing on getting to the couch. I slumped down onto the it, not even caring about how my legs are dangling from its end.

I just need to rest for a moment.

And apparently, a moment means two hours. I woke up with a not-pounding head, and a blanket all over me.

I stared into nothing for a few seconds, trying to understand where the hell am I. I don't feel like death anymore, so there's that.

After I stretched my entire body, I left the couch to get some water. I turned around to walk towards the kitchen, but what I saw made my feet stop.

Alessandro is sitting with his back to me just where I sat this morning. He's working on his computer, typing rapidly and occasionally drinking water from the glass on his right.

Okay, I'm not panicking.

I can just go there and talk to him. Tell him how I know he was worried, and that I didn't plan on reacting the way that I did.

I really didn't. I've said a lot of things I regret, but I just can't help it. Whenever I feel like someone tries to make me do things, control me, I freak out.

Jace told me over and over again how they care about me, how all they're trying to do is make sure I'm safe, not to control me.

But I just couldn't believe it.

I mean, how could I? Ever since I can remember myself, the people who were supposed to be my family tried to control me.

Not once did an adoptive family treated me like a child. It was always like a dog who needs taming.

But I'm starting to realize none of my brothers are like that. Jace was right, they care about me. Even Riccardo said so last night.

So why can't I just take a step forward and confess all of my fears to Alessandro?

"I can feel you thinking." he suddenly said. I widened my eyes and looked around, trying to figure out if it was really me he was talking to.

How the hell did he know? What kind of witchery is that?

I walked slowly towards the kitchen island and slightly pushed the stool next to him, all while feeling his eyes on me.

Alessandro shut the computer off with his palm, and I nervously sat down and bit the inside of my cheek.

What the hell do I say?

His green eyes bore holes into the side of my head, but I just couldn't turn to look at him. What if I really fucked everything up, and now he'll-

"I'm sorry."

I snapped my head towards him. My eyebrows were furrowed, and my eyes scanned his entire face.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Did he just say 'I'm sorry'?

Alessandro looked away for a moment before returning his intense gaze to my face. He always looks so serious, but now is the most I've ever seen him.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that, it was a stupid move." he said, turning around in his seat to face me completely.

His words were so sincere and I just found myself staring at him, shocked. Not even one person out of the sixteen families I've been at apologized to me. Ever.

"No, I..." I blinked a few times, twisting in my seat as well. "I'm sorry for snapping too. I didn't mean to throw the whole kidnapping thing in your face."

"But you had every right to." he sighed and took off his blazer, now only wearing a simple black T shirt.

My eyes automatically fell to his right hand. Just like Amadeo and Riccardo, Alessandro's arms are completely covered with tattoos.

A couple of days ago when he passed me some orange juice, I noticed for the first time the small list of dates on his right forearm.

I didn't have enough time to look at it then, but now when I see it clearly, I can feel my heart beating faster. Those are four dates, and one of them is my birthday.

He has everyone's birthdays tattooed. Even mine.

"When you brought it up, I got defensive." he started slowly, and I finally tore my eyes away from the tattoos. "I didn't mean to come across as controlling, I just wanted to make sure-"

"That I'm okay before I leave?" I cut him off and bit my lip, looking at him unsure.

"Yeah." he sent me a small smile, something I noticed rarely happens. "But I shouldn't have acted like that, and I definitely didn't mean to make you feel trapped."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away from him, my heart beating fast in my chest.

"It's not your fault." I shook my head. "I'm just... new to this. It's been a while since someone looked after me."

After Jace left, we had to take care of each other. I love Theo and Ares with all my heart, but the three of us are always doing dumb shit.

We had to fend for ourselves, and there was simply no one to make sure we're fine.

I'm so used to dealing with my own problems alone, that having someone outside of my little circle actually caring about me seems so insane.

"I know." Alessandro said, gently cupping my hand. My head turned to him, and his eyes found mine.

"You're scared to let us in, but you don't have to be." he nodded reassuringly. "Dad used to say that family comes first. That no matter what happens, all of us will be there for each other. For you."

Alessandro squeezed my hand, and I tried to form a sentence out of the millon thoughts in my mind.

"But what if you won't..." I shook my head and left the chair, my hand falling from his. Alessandro was quick to follow me, not taking his eyes off me once.

"What if you'll realize you don't need me in your family? What if... What if I won't be able to be like the little girl all of you remember?"

I gulped again, feeling the tears burn my eyes. What if I can't be enough for them?

Alessandro reached out to grab my hand again, making me look up at him. "But you're not that little girl." he smiled and raised his eyebrow. "You're now smart and funny and, well, stayed a little bit annoying."

I chuckled and wiped one tear that escaped my eye, and Alessandro pulled my head into his chest.

"And we'll always need you in this family." he said seriously, running his fingers through my hair. "All of us have scars, both from the outside and the inside. But that's what family is about, alright?"

He pulled back, looking at me in the eye. "It's about being together no matter what."

I nodded weakly, trying to understand everything he just said. We'll always need you in this family.

A loud noise made me turn around just in time to see Amadeo walking through the front door.

I tried to wipe the few tears on my cheeks with my sleeve, but as soon as he looked at us, he saw it.

Amadeo narrowed his eyes and walked towards us, slamming his keys on the table.

"Did he make you cry?" he pointed at Alessandro, who rolled his eyes and crossed his hands over his chest.

"I'm fine." I gave him a small smile. He nodded, still looking at Alessandro with a slight scoff. "Seriously, I'm fine."

Amadeo brought his eyes back to me, and the softness in them almost made me start crying again.

I've never cried that much before coming to live here.

"Are you really fine?" he asked, coming to stand in front of me. I chuckled and pushed my hair behind my ear. "I am."

Amadeo shot Alessandro a quick look, and after a faint nod from him, he visibly relaxed.

"Good." he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. "Can't have my little sister crying now, can we?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I cracked a smile as he started to lead us towards the living room. "Alessandro confirmed that I'm not little."

Amadeo ruffled my hair and leaned down to my ear. "He doesn't know what he's talking about, his brain is starting to shrink."

"You promised to never tell anyone about it!" Alessandro yelled from the kitchen, and I started to laugh.

I looked back at Amadeo as he let go of me and walked to the front of the couch, folding the blanket I woke up covered by.

"That's yours?" I asked quietly, a small smile on my face.

He glanced at me with an amused expression. "You looked cold." My smile grew, and I felt my heart clenching at my chest.

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's watch friends. You fell asleep during the last episode." Amadeo nodded towards the couch, and I happily obligated.

I need to watch something funny that'll stop the urge to cry.

Every time I come here to watch something on TV, Amadeo joins me. At first we sat on two different couches, and I didn't even glance at him.

Then he started to sit on the far edge of the same couch as me, and before I knew it, I started to wait for him before I played a new chapter.

"Where'd you come from?" I asked, reaching forward to grab the remote from the coffee table. He was here this morning to put a blanket on me, but returned from somewhere else just now.

"Had to make sure everything was normal at work." he responded, sitting next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I threw the blanket he just folded on top of me, ignoring his protests with a smile. Alessandro is right, maybe I am a little bit annoying.

We watched friends silently, Amadeo occasionally laughing at some stupid joke I'd normally laugh at too.

But I'm just too distracted. My heart keeps beating loudly in my ears, and my mind refuses to accept everyone's words.

"What if I told you I've done things," I blurted out, catching Amadeo's eyes. "Things that I'm not proud of, but things I had to do to keep me alive."

For fuck's sake, I've sold drugs for a living. I stole cars and people's wallets, everything that'll make a regular person take a step back.

Everything about me makes people take a step back. What if I tell them, and then they'll do it too?

"I'd say, good." he replied immediately, making me look at him in surprise.

"It makes me feel better to know you've done everything you could to take care of yourself, especially when we weren't there to do it."

His eyes held mine, his expression as serious as Alessandro's. Is he really not going to criticize me? Or at least make me tell him what I did?

"But what if I got mixed up with the wrong crowd? What if you'll want nothing to do with me once I-"

"That'll never happen." Amadeo stopped me. "It doesn't matter what you've done or will do, as long as it means you're safe."

My heart was beating so fast, that I was sure even Amadeo could hear it.

He's really not going to judge me.

"Olive?" he asked, and I snapped my slightly wide eyes back to him. I got off the couch and ran my fingers through my hair.

Calm down.

"Do you think any of you would ever hurt me on purpose?" I stopped pacing around, and he rose from his seat in a second.

"Never."

I nodded and looked away, only now noticing Alessandro. He stood right outside the living room, looking at me with concern.

"No one here will ever intentionally hurt you, trust me." he said, taking another step towards us.

Trust me.

"Can I really trust you?" I asked urgently, feeling like my head is about to explode. "Because I really can't handle another failed family, especially when it's my biological one."

"Hey, look at me." Amadeo squeezed my shoulders, and I did as he said. "We are your family, now and always."

"Alright." I breathed out, my eyes darting between the two of them. I tried to calm the beating of my heart, but nothing worked.

"I think it's time to..." I nodded to myself, not letting the doubt get to me this time. "To tell you about myself. To all of you."

Chapter 37!!!!!

Merry christmas and a little late happy hanukkah everybody!! Imagine this chapter as a present while I send you a virtual hug<3

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See ya next chapter ;)))