"Olive?" I hear someone call my name from the other side of the door, and I reluctantly open my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" I shout back, the sound of running water makes it impossible to decide which one of my brothers came to check up on me. Again.

"Are you sure? I can get-"

"I'm fine!" I shout louder, trying to focus solely on the harsh stream pouring all over me. I raise my hands up and run my fingers through my hair, untangling it as gently as I can. Even though I've been here for the past thirty minutes, scrubbing my skin over and over again, the water hitting the floor still has a tint of red in it.

I don't find any of it as comforting and peaceful as I'd hoped I would, not when almost my entire body is wrapped up tightly, all to prevent the bandages and the brace around my knee from getting wet. But hey, at least it's a knee sprain and not a broken leg, right?

I force my eyes close, attempting to block the thoughts from eating me alive even in the shower. My balance is as fragile as it can be, and I have no other choice but to lean against the wall and throw my head back when I can no longer stand on just one foot.

Shutting down the water with a sigh, I use all my power to push the glass door open. A few curses later, and I finally get out of the shower. My chest is rising and falling quickly as I rest my palms on the counter, my arms flexing with the effort of keeping myself up on just one functioning leg.

"Fuck." I mutter, accidentally finding my reflection in the mirror. Even though it's been five days since they got me out of there, my face still looks like absolute shit. My lips are split, a dark bruise covering most of my right cheek, and the little bump in my forehead is all but gone.

I was released from the hospital, well, their hospital, two hours ago, and the first thing I've done was locking myself up in this guest bathroom. Just one look towards the set of stairs I needed to climb to get to my room made bile rise in my throat, so I was forced to change my original plan.

Amadeo offered to carry me up, but one glare was enough to silence him. I don't need anyone to carry me up.

After wrapping a towel around myself and retrieving my crutches from the corner, I unlock the door. The guest room is smaller than my own room, definitely less colorful, but it's infinitely better than the hospital room.

My eyes almost immediately rest on the fresh set of clothes on the bed, and my heart skips for a second. I'm back. I swallow the growing lump in my throat and push the crutches forward.

By the time I'm fully dressed in short black sweatpants and a light green shirt I recognize as Amadeo's, I'm also breathing heavily. My fists are curled by my sides as I stare at the wall, hearing nothing but my own heart pulsing.

Is it the same shade of grey as the walls of the room they kept me in?

A knock on the door makes my head snap towards it, my heartbeats fully consuming my ears. "Olive?"

I lower my head and rub my eyes harshly for exactly three seconds like I've done for the past few days, and throw one last look at the wall before standing up. It's just a stupid wall.

Get a grip.

I'm still not used to the crutches, but soon enough I'll feel like they're simply another part of my body, or so the doctor said. Either way, I'm not going anywhere without them for the next week and a half.

I fumble with the handle for a moment, but eventually manage to yank the door open. Santo takes a step back, as if surprised I've actually answered it. Not that I can blame him, seeing I constantly avoided talking to him, or any of them for that matter, while being in the hospital.

His eyes immediately lock on the crutches, and then on the bandage tugging from under my sleeve, and eventually on my face. He doesn't say anything, just... Blinks.

"What?" I ask, my voice tight. If I wanted someone to stare at my wounds, I'd still be looking at that mirror. His eyes snap up to mine, and I fight everything in me in order to keep my chin up. He looks at me just like Riccardo did when he found me, as if seeing me makes him both relived and pained. I hate that. I fucking hate that.

"Uh," he starts, gulping before clearing his throat. His hands are at his side, equally as unsure as him. "Are you- I mean, can I do something? To help you settle back."

I clench my jaw, my knuckles turning white around the crutches as I push past him, accidentally shouldering him. "I'm fine." stupid crutches.

"Do you want something to eat?" he follows me without a second thought, matching his pace to my annoyingly slow one. "We can order pizza, get tons of mushrooms on it just to piss off Rivo."

I glance at him, but don't share the smile on his face. I can't force it like he does.

Santo swallows, taking his eyes off of me for a split second before masking his hesitation. "We can watch a movie, or-"

"Stop." I cut him off, my eyes meeting his. It comes out harsher than I intend, and I turn my head away just as his shoulders slump. "Stop doing that."

He stays quiet for a few moments. "I..."

"I know." I say after he struggles to find the right words, my jaw twitching before looking at him again. He looks the same, and yet, everything feels completely different. "I just need some time, alone."

I can tell he wants to say something, and for nothing more than a heartbeat, I really hope he would. But then his eyes dart to my bruised cheek, and I snap. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did." I cut him off again, my voice a quiet hiss. I take a step forward, my eyes narrowing as something in me cracks. "You look at me like I'm some wounded animal, you all are. But, and it may come as news for you, I'm not. So wipe that pity off your fucking face."

He flinches, tearing his eyes away from me and focusing on whatever it is he finds behind me. His body goes rigid, almost as stiff as I am right now. "It's not pity, Olive." he says, his non-apologizing gaze settling back on me. "It's worry."

"I don't need your worry." I try to shove all emotions I have to the back of my mind, looking straight into Santo's dark brown eyes. "I've been beaten up before, I can deal with it myself."

He chuckles humorlessly, running his fingers through his hair in what seems like the ultimate act of frustration. I move to turn around before he can open his mouth, not liking the look on his face.

"Well, It may come as news for you." he drawls, using my own words as he catches up to me in no time. I feel his eyes burning the side of my face, but I keep my head straight. "I've never seen my sister getting beaten up before, so excuse me," sarcasm dripping from his voice. "If my worry shows. Why the hell are you acting like you're okay with all of this?"

"I'm fine!" I yell, stopping abruptly in the middle of the hallway. Irritation quickly builds up in me, and my wet hair fucking sticks to the back of my neck, making everything itch even more. "I can deal with it myself!"

"But you don't have to!" he yells back, shocking me enough to make me close my mouth. He closes his eyes and rubs his face with his palm. "You shut yourself off, avoiding everyone! This is the first time you actually talked to me since you-" he stops himself, moving his hand up to his hair. "I care-" he stops himself again, dropping his hands to his sides. "I'm not going to just stand here and watch you backslide to what we were three months ago!"

"Then don't." I grit out, feeling like the crutches are going to melt from under my blazing touch. "I clearly can't be what you want me to be. I can't just go back to have stupid sleepovers, I can't watch a movie with you, and I can't climb the fucking stairs!"

The words roll off my tongue in the form of pure anger before I can hold them back. I'm awfully aware of the brace on my knee, of the crutches I'm forced to carry around, and especially of the throbbing pain in my chest that only intensified from the moment I got out of there.

Out of the man I couldn't fucking kill.

"I don't want you to be anything." he emphasizes in a shout, leveling my glare. "I just want you to stop avoiding us and just talk to me!"

I shake my head, and I wish I could do the same to the hot, irrational fury under my skin. "You want me to talk to you?" I ask with a tight smile, my eyes completely locked on his. "Alright, let's have it. I heard the Knicks won a game against-"

"Do whatever you want." Santo now shakes his head, taking a step back. His jaw ticks as he looks at me with a mix of disbelief, anger, and so much more. "You think you're hurting me, but you're actually hurting yourself."

My heart is pounding painfully in my chest, and I stay rooted in place as he turns around, muttering things under his breath. Excuse me?

"What the hell do you expect me to tell you?" I call after him, a sharp edge to my voice. He halts, slightly angling his head to look at me from behind his shoulder. "About how I was drugged? About how I got this?" I gesture aggressively to the cast on my leg. Santo turns around, looking at me but not at me. "You're such an asshole, you know that? I don't want-" I clench my jaw. "Have to tell you any of it."

"You don't have to tell me things you don't want to," he takes a step towards me, his expression remaining infuriatingly unreadable. "But you can't block everyone out. That's only going to make whatever it is you're hiding ten times worse."

"I'm not hiding anything." I grit out, looking into his eyes to make sure he understands. "Stop thinking you got me all figured out. It's none of your business, so back off."

"Back off of what? I thought you weren't hiding anything." he doesn't even blink. I groan silently and turn around, ready to get as far away as I can from him. I can't take any lectures right now, definitely not from him.

I was kidnapped in the first place because of their secret, one that they were never going to even tell me. Talking about hiding things.

For the past four days, the only ones I wanted to talk to were Ares and Theo. Shit, they were the only ones I felt like I could talk to, because my brothers all decided to treat me like I'm some delicate doll. I really needed that at first, you know? It felt so fucking good to be surrounded by them after spending two days getting beaten up nonstop, but when I couldn't shake this feeling I have... Them monitoring my every step only made me feel so much worse.

If everything was back to normal, if Santo wasn't asking me if I wanted a pizza and just ordering it like he always does, maybe I could've gotten a sense of normality. Maybe the thoughts running through my head would've stopped for a moment, and maybe, just maybe, I could've pretended for a single fucking second I'm not reliving the moments before Elsher was killed.

But who the hell am I fooling? Of course I'm hiding something. I'm hiding the way my hands shake by constantly fisting my crutches, the way I've woken up soaked in sweat for the past five days, blaming it on the pain so they won't ask, the way I'm doubting my every step, wondering when will be the next time I'll freeze in front of a gun, and bleed out.

If Riccardo was a second late-

"You've got to be kidding me." I mutter as I fully turn around, throwing my head back in defeat. I can't be alone anymore, not in this house.

Rivo is standing right in front of me, his arms crossed. The similarities between him and Santo are scary enough, even without both of them ganging up on me. Duke is standing by his side, matching his intense look. Great, even the dog is on their side.

"What were you talking about?" Rivo asks slowly. His eyes are not moving to my bruised cheek, but I have a feeling it's not because he wants me to feel better. I'll take it either way.

"None of your business." I smile tightly and raise one crutch, pointing it towards him. "Let me pass, Rivo."

He stretches his lips for a second, not a single emotion on his face. "Glad to see you remember my name."

I lower my hand and adjust the second crutch, breathing out loudly. "Am I not allowed to want some time for myself after getting kidnapped?" I bite out, noticing his fists clenching. "I don't care if I hurt your precious feelings. Leave. Me. Alone."

"You-"

"I'm obviously not going to do that." Rivo cuts his twin off, taking a step towards me. Duke follows, his nose sniffing the air around my knee brace. "So just spare me the whole 'I'm fine' bullshit you got going on."

"Rivo, you-"

"Excuse me?" I almost shout, wishing I could burn him right on the spot. "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm the less fun brother." Rivo leans down, and his smile is anything but kind. "If he wants to give you the benefit of the doubt, that's great." he points towards Santo, but none of us take their eyes off the other. "But I'm not going to act like you pretending everything is normal is fucking normal."

"I don't want to talk about it." I grit out, pushing the crutches forwards and me with it, going around him. He moves to the side, blocking my way. I try again, and he blocks.

"Rivo." I warn, tilting my head up to glare at him. I was on the receiving end of his own glares more times than I can count, so I know exactly what he looks like when pissed. Even though his jaw is clenched, and the anger radiating from him is unmistakable, he looks different.

He got the same glint in his eyes as Santo.

I almost growl. "Stop looking at me like that!" I don't know what the fuck that is, if it's really worry like Santo claims it is, but I know for a fact I hate it even more when it's coming from Rivo. Like he said, he's the less fun brother.

"Drop your fucked up act for a fucking second." he counters with a demand of his own, taking another step forward until he's all in my face. "You want to just move on? You think anyone here can just ignore what happened to you?"

My nostrils flare, and the ache in my chest spreads up my throat, making the air feel much hotter. I'm not an idiot, I know what I've been through wasn't just me, it was all of them. We were getting somewhere, at least I was, as a family. Shit, I was really thinking for a moment there that my life got all... But I know myself. You throw a situation at me I can't deal with? I fucking don't. My brothers are now facing this revelation.

The thought makes me nauseous, but the understanding of what I wasn't able to do makes me want to throw up right here.

Rivo must see the crack in my facade, because his next words hit right where they shouldn't.

"You hated me, you may still hate me for all I know, and I get it, you don't trust us after what you just found out, but I don't care." his eyes narrow, and I know he means it. "I'm not letting you go fucking anywhere."

An 'I don't hate you' is right on the tip of my tongue, and my eyes burn with the want to curl up in my bed and let everything I feel out. If I stay here any longer, I'm going to cave.

"Santo, tell him to get out of my way." I say, and not one of us missed the way my voice broke for a mere second. I clench my jaw immediately.

"He won't." another voice joins, and the three of us snap our heads back, my eyes locking on Amadeo. "He's scared you'll try to take off."

I feel Rivo's body tense from behind me, and I swirl my head back to him, choosing to ignore Riccardo and Alessandro.

He glares at his brother, this time with no hidden glint. My lips twitch for a heartbeat.

"I'm wasn't planning to." I sigh, lowering my gaze to my knee when his find mine again. I tap the crutches a few times, smiling bitterly. "And it's not like I can outrun anybody, anyway."

When no one says anything, I shake my head. "So, what's up?" I ask, looking between all my brothers. "Decided to join forces and corner me together?"

"You didn't ask about us, not once." Alessandro says, his voice flat as he scans my every expression, my every move. They might consider me a wounded animal, but he sure as hell looks like a predator. "About our mafia."

The way all of them stiffen makes me want to both laugh and cry. None of us is stupid, they know I know, and it's not like they were trying to hide it anymore. Riccardo killed Elsher in front of my eyes, Alessandro promised to make Thiago regret the day he was born, and when Amadeo carried me out of there, it was hard to miss the trail of bodies on the floor and the armed soldiers standing right above them, all bowing their heads as my brothers pass. All looking at me.

The hospital, if you could call it that, now that was something. Can't really miss the way the entire place was evacuated, and ten armed men stationed right outside my room. So much more were right down the hall.

"What is there to ask?" I mutter, tearing my eyes away from him. My gaze lands briefly on Riccardo, the only one who didn't even try to talk to me. He'd told me he loved me, and then he was gone. Funnily enough, that was the only sense of normality I got in the past week. He quickly looks away, like he can't even pretend I don't have an entire bruise on my cheek.

At least that way I can't see if he has that glint, too.

"Everything you want to know." Alessandro responds.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the question slips out as soon as it can. I clench my fists around my crutches.

"We didn't-" he starts to answer, but his jaw ticks as soon as Amadeo's head turn to him. "I didn't think you'd handle it well."

"Well, that fucking sucks."

"Olive-"

"No, don't." I lick my dry lips, biting the inside of my cheek when my vision blurs again. "Those four guards that drove me, they're dead because of me."

Santo glances between Alessandro and I, sending a pointed look his way, like an 'I told you so' of some sorts.

"They're dead because I didn't know shit." I gulp before anyone can say anything, blinking as I voice my thoughts out for the first time. "I tricked them into taking me alone, when there should've been more guards with us, because you run a mafia, and apparently, people want to kill me."

"No one is going to kill you."

"Yeah?" I laugh humorlessly and turn my head to face Riccardo, any I can't even bring myself to be surprised that now, of all times, he chose to speak up. "You saw perfectly well how wrong you are."

My voice comes out bitter, full of the self loathing I've been feeling since he saved me. I always took pride in the knowledge I don't need savings. Now I have nothing to hold onto.

"I couldn't kill him." I emphasize, not taking my eyes off of him, especially when I see how hard it is for him to keep his on mine. He breaks soon enough, and his eyes trail the lone tear running down my cheek. "I had a gun to his head, and I couldn't pull the trigger."

Amadeo reached to me, but I take a step back, stumbling. Rivo's quick to wrap his arm around my shoulder, steadying me.

I shake him off, shooting a smile to behind his back. "You wanted me to talk to you?" I arch my brow at Santo, who remains perfectly still. "Fine. Here we go."

I turn back to face Alessandro. "I was about to let the man who abused me throughout my childhood kill me, even though I head a fucking gun. How's that for a mafia sister? Don't say anything." I hiss the last part, pushing myself forward. "I can't walk, I can't eat without splitting my lips all over again, and I can't stop fucking thinking. You want to help me? Teach me how to not die."

"Alright." he nods, watching carefully as I furrow my eyebrows.

"Alright, what?"

"We'll teach you how to not die." he repeats my words, as if it's that simple, and tucks my hair behind my ear. His fingers caress my bruised cheek for a second, and then he drops his arm to his side, fist clenched tight. "I'll kill anyone who dares touching you."

I blink a few times, using my shoulder to rub my eyes. "You killed Thiago?"

I see Riccardo stiffen from the corner of my eyes. "Not yet." it's Amadeo who answers. "He needs to... Pay, first."

"He said you're an assassin." I glance at Riccardo.

"Yeah."

"He called you a psycho."

"That's... Yeah."

"I want to talk to him."

"No." he replies immediately, shaking his head. There's a finality in his voice I'm not used to. "Hell no."

I keep staring at him. He looks back at first, eyes narrowed. When he realizes I'm not backing down, he turns to glare at Alessandro. "Tell her she can't fucking talk to him."

I stay silent, the two of us looking at him.

"Five minutes, Olive. Five."

I smile at the exact same second Riccardo run his hand through his hair, tugging it. "You gotta be fucking shitting me."

°°°

My arms burn with every push, my fucked up leg dangling dangerously close to each step, but I don't quit. I raise the crutches again, planting them on the step above me. I take a deep breath before pulling my leg up, trying my best not to bend it.

When my palm gets too sweaty, my hold on my right crutch loosen. I curse loudly as I slip, quickly grabbing the railing to balance myself.

I am so not falling off the stairs tonight.

I curse again when I hear a door opening up. "Shut the- Oh, Shit. What the hell are doing? Officially lost your mind?" Riccardo's voice gets closer, but I only glance at him when he starts jogging down towards me.

"Give me the- don't touch me." I glare at him when he reaches his hand towards my shoulder. I drop my gaze from him and point down, to my fallen crutch. "Can you pick it up?"

He immediately does that, and even though it's far too dark to see his face, I can see him hesitate before handing it back to me. "If you're trying to get back to the hospital, you could've just asked me to drive you."

I grumble and snatch it from his hand, positioning it right under my arm. "I want to go to my room, is that a crime?" I shake my head and chuckle, remembering he's a fucking assassin. "Oh, wait."

"You could've gotten seriously hurt." he ignores my comment, watching my every move carefully. His hands are at his side, ready to catch me in case I slip again. It makes me feel so much better, but I don't say that to him.

"I'm already seriously hurt." I deadpan, continuing my climb. I already made it almost to the top, but considering it took me almost twenty minutes, that's not very impressive.

Riccardo sighs, and before I can even realize what's happening, I'm thrown over his shoulder. "Hey!" I punch his back. He ignores me, grabbing my crutches in his other hand and starting to walk. When we reach the second floor in less than five seconds, I feel like a fucking snail.

"Shut up before you wake up the entire country." he whispers, holding me tighter instead of dropping me to the ground. When we pass by my room, I lift my head up.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Keeping an eye on you." he says, twisting his own doorknob and walking into his room. The lights are on, and I squeeze my eyes shut for a second.

"What part of my room didn't you get?" I mumble, and he drops me onto his bed, carful not to bang my leg on anything. Duke is sleeping on the end of the bed like always, not even bothering lifting his head to look at us.

"When you pull shit like that, you lose your right of privacy." he narrows his eyes, making the dark circles around them much clearer. I guess I'm not the only one not sleeping. "Is your brain on vacation? I thought you said you were fine sleeping downstairs."

"I was, alright?" I mutter, turning my back towards him and pulling the covers over me. I'm so fucking tired, and I'd rather just stay here than walk to my room. "But the walls freaked me out. It's the same color as the room I've been at."

He stays silent for a while, and then I hear his footsteps. The lights turn off. "Why didn't you tell us about..."

I twist, looking at him from behind my shoulder as he climb onto the bed, lying next to me. This time I'm not drunk, this time I can go the second I want to. But I'm not so sure I want to.

I remain quiet for a while, staring at his white wall. "Did you really mean it?"

"What?"

"When you said you love me."

"Want me to take it back?" he jokes, but the hint of uncertainty in his voice makes me turn around.

"No." I whisper, trying to smile. It comes out as a grimace. "I don't."

Riccardo looks at me, and maybe it's because he can't see my bruises in the dark, he doesn't look away.

"Why are you running?" I ask.

"Running?"

"I mean, I know why I'm running." I shrug, and when his eyebrows furrow, I sigh. "Same reason I didn't... Couldn't tell you what I just did earlier. I get scared, sometimes."

He moves his arm and put it under his head, now lying on his side like I do. "I get scared, too." his response is quite.

"I hate it."

"Yeah."

I exhale loudly, turning around so my back is towards him again. "Good night." I close my eyes, trying to shove my thoughts away. I just need to sleep.

Riccardo taps my shoulder.

"What?" I grumble.

He taps it again.

"What?" I sigh, rolling around.

"Not to be that guy, yeah? But," he starts, either unsure of what he has to say or unsure of how to say it. "You know, when I told you I..." he scratches his temple. I look at him, confused. "Forget it, it's stupid. Just... Go back to sleep."

I keep staring at him for a few seconds before slowly turning back around, blinking. What was he-

"You want me to say it back?" I ask quietly, still not looking at him.

"No, no." he replies immediately, and I raise my eyebrow at him from behind my shoulder. He looks away, and his arm flexes under his head. "Just, you know, wondering if you feel the same."

"Never pegged you for an emotional guy." I tease, and he puts his palm on the back of my head, forcing me to turn around. Yep, I had it coming.

"Shut it, goblin." here he is. I laugh, kicking him with my good leg.

We both go silent after that, staring at the ceiling with only Duke's light snores around us. Riccardo's body was still tense, and I can feel how he wants to open his mouth again. I groan internally. "What?"

He doesn't waste a second. "You, wanting to see Thiago, is the stupidest shit I've ever heard."

Of course. God, I miss being on the other side of that, listening to Riccardo take a dig at Rivo or something, not at me.

"You are the stupidest shit I've ever heard." I retort, shooting him a look. He snorts, matching my smile for exactly two seconds before wiping it off, his eyes narrowing as if he suddenly remembered he's not an eight year old.

"Fine." I drawl, rolling my eyes. "I just want to ask him something." before he can let a sound out of his opened mouth, I add. "Alessandro said yes."

"Alessandro can go right ahead and jump into a volcano." He grunts. "You shouldn't be around this asshole."

"Alessandro or Thiago?" I snort, but Riccardo's unusual serious expression makes me groan. "Loosen up a bit, Ricci. I'm sure you'll find a way to creep around and be my bodyguard. Where d'you keep him anyway?"

He eyes me for a while, his eyes narrowing even more before actually speaking. "Rivo's right."

"Huh?"

"You really are annoying." he whispers, flicking my forehead with two of his fingers. I swat him away, turning my back to him for the absolute last time.

"We share the same genes, asshole."

"Shut up."

Chapter 46!!!

Dont forget to vote and comment, I honestly love it so much.

Sorry about the late updates, my life is pretty much pure chaos right now.

This family's a tiny bit problematic, I know, but that's the fun. I have so many ideas for next chapters, so stay tuned.

Love yall so so much.