Cora

Guess what? Yeah you guessed right, I left Dimitri's place again in tears I mean one minute everything is fine and the next it's not.

I really want to put this behind me and actually work with him for Ivan's sake but he's not helping, Always throwing my pregnancy into the picture.

It's bad enough that I'm well aware I'm pregnant for him, it's only worse if he keeps reminding me about it.

I don't want to talk about it Not now at least Still too early for me I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm pregnant, for him.

Maybe I should have just listened to him and stop meeting him, maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with this constant emotional rollercoaster I'm facing.

And him apologizing is not helping It changes nothing You don't just throw 'i'm sorry' into the way and expect everything to go back to normal It doesn't work that way.

He raped me I can't just erase that from my mind He took something from me He took that choice from me, and I doubt I'd ever forgive him for it.

I'm only trying to tolerate him for Ivan's sake He should be grateful at the fact that I've not said shit to Cara or Enzo. They still think it's Ivan's, because they think I have a thing with him.

They don't know it's not his They have no idea what happened to me and I intend to keep it that way

Most times I stay up at night and I just wonder, how I got dragged into all of this. It's confusing and at the same time, it's frustrating.

One minute I feel like I'm cool with Dimitri and the next minute he reminds me just how much I should hate him

One minute he has me feeling hot and strange and the next, I hate him with all my guts, I wish he'd just die.

I hate the way he makes me feel sometimes, he has no right to make me feel that way

And I mean everything I said to him He'll never just be someone I know, or someone I met in the worst of times No, he'll always be a monster to me I'll always see him as the man that took away my most prized possession.

He stole everything from me He stripped me bare of my soul The little part of me I still held on to with my dear life, he ripped it away.

And now he thinks sorry is going to fix it He can't fix it No one can

I'm broken Just like he wanted He should be happy

_________________________________________

"I've been trying to find out where they took him to but they've not really said anything about it" I muttered looking into space, I've really tried eavesdropping but nothing.

It's a dead end He sighed looking away

"But there's something I haven't tried tho" I say making him look at me "I've not looked into Enzo's office, there must something there that'll lead me to something" I say looking at him but he just shakes his head.

"No, it's too risky, what if he catches you"? He asks dismissing the idea

"I live there, I look like his wife and I doubt he'd catch me, I know what I'm doing" I say relaxing on the chair

"I'm going to...." I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen that makes me wince and stop talking, he quickly notices and looks at me with concern

"Are you okay"? He asks and I just nod but then I feel it again, this time much worse, making me wince even harder

I lay back down, he's already up and squatting in front of me

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look okay" he says looking at my hands clutching my stomach

I'm really not okay but I don't know what's wrong with me

"When last did you go for check ups"? He asks making me look away, I've never gone to any

"Cora, please tell me you've had your baby checked, at least once"? He asks a pleading to his tone, I don't bother looking at him

He mutters under his breath "Do you realize how risky that is"? He asks looking at me "You're pregnant and you didn't think to go for check up even once"? He almost snaps making me look at him

"You don't have to yell" I mutter out and he just scoffs

"Of course I fucking do and I will yell, do you even know how far long the pregnancy is"? He asks making me look away, truth be told, I don't know and I never bothered

Maybe because I was scared that if I did, it'll make it more real

He looks at me with the most pained look I'd ever seen on his face "You don't even know, fuck" he muttered standing up with his back to me, he runs his hands through his hair.

"Get up, I'm taking you to the hospital" he snaps picking up his key, but I don't move from my sitting position, not because I can't but because I don't want to

He stops and looks at me "Get up Cora, I'm not gonna ask you again" he says giving me a hard look

"I'm not going anywhere with you" I mutter out sitting up right, the pain has subsided and I feel much better now.

"I'm not asking you" he grits out making me roll my eyes at him

"Can you just stop, for one second just stop" I snap at him, he opens his mouth to speak but I beat him to it "Stop acting like it's a normal thing for me to be pregnant, there is nothing normal about this" I grit out trying to hold back the tears, I hate that he's acting so caring all of a sudden, he's doting on me It's suffocating.

I try to walk away from him and he pulls my back by my wrist

"Cora..." He starts but I cut him off

"Don't, just don't, I'm not going to the hospital with you, if I need to go to a hospital, I'll do it alone" I tell him "I don't need you to be there" I spat at him

"Then what do you need me to do" he whispers almost inaudibly but I hear him

"Nothing" I snap "I don't need you to do anything for me, just stay the fuck away from me, don't talk about my pregnancy, ever" I grit out

"Why, why don't you want to talk about it" he almost yells and that just breaks me even more

All the tears just come pouring "Because it hurts Dimitri, it hurts to think about it, it hurts to talk about it, it hurts to even look at you" I yell at him

"You have no idea what you did to me, how much you broke me" I croak out

"I told you no, Dimitri I begged you but you didn't listen" I was full on sobbing, with my nose running and the tears spilling like dam water

"That was the only thing I had in my life that I felt was mine, but it turns out it was never mine, because you took it away from me, I did nothing to you, I didn't even know you but you destroyed my life because of some sick revenge you wanted" I rushed out

"And I'm sorry" he whispered his voice too low

"Sorry doesn't fix anything, you don't get to say sorry and just expect everything to be okay, sorry doesn't bring back what you took from me" I yelled, my voice getting more croaky as I cry the more

"You forced yourself on me Dimitri" I say hiccuping hard as I try to catch my breath "You turned my life upside down"

He starts moving close to me "I'm sorry Cora, I'm so fucking sorry" he says taking steps close to me

"I know nothing I say will change anything but I regret it, all of it and I'll spend the rest of my life apologising for it" he says standing just a few inches away from me, before he pulls me into him and I crash on his chest using my hands as support system on his chest

He hugs me and rests his chin on my head "I'm sorry принцесса"

Okay I almost cried writing this, lol

I can imagine how much pain she's feeling.