"I never craved attention until I tasted yours"

Arabella Karve You think after twenty years you would get used to being alone. Not just physically alone, but that ache of complete loneliness that sits in the depth of your soul. That deafening feeling that no one cares about you that slowly eats you away.

I have been alone my entire life. Except for the few years where Tara was hired as a nurse for our 'business' and we immediately became best friends. And after I lost her, I think I lost a part of myself.

After she was gone and I murdered Dominik, I physically couldn't feel anything. Everything was numb. Life was a lonely repetitive nightmare of nothingness. Then I met Eros.

I was suddenly washed over with feelings of hate and anger. Which was still somehow better than feeling nothing. We slowly began to understand each other. When he is around I feel like that part of me that I lost is somehow back.

But now he's gone, and now he hates me.

"My heart hearts" I whisper to Montague with a broken voice as a small tear rolls down my cheek. I gently run my pale fingers down Montages black fur as he purrs peacefully.

It seems to be the same cycle. The second I love someone, I loose them. At this fucking point I'm cursed.

It's been three days since I snuck out to go with Dimitri. I haven't talked to anyone in three days. I haven't talked to him in three days.

I've barely left me room, I've barely even moved from my bed. Everything hurts, my heart feels heavy, and I still feel gross no matter how many times I've washed my skin.

My phone chimes from beside me for the millionth time and I reluctantly turn it over. I squint my eyes because of the bright screen while looking over the text.

Dimitri: Arabella please respond. I know I messed up the other night, and I am truly sorry. We both had too much to drink. I thought that you were feeling the same way I felt. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Thursday-6:23pm

I look over the other seventeen messages he sent me, but I can't bring myself to respond. I am fucking pathetic.

I slowly sit up and dizziness immediately washes over me. I blink rapidly, trying to ignore the intensity of the nausea.

"Shit" I mumble realizing that I haven't eaten all day. I don't want to leave my bedroom.

I carefully step out of my bedroom, and try to ignore how lightheaded I feel as I make my way down to the kitchen.

I quietly slide open the door and step into the vacant kitchen. My eyes immediately move towards the dark stairs that lead down to Eros's bedroom.

I purse my lips and reluctantly look away from the stairs that seem to almost be calling my name.

After a couple minutes, I pull open one of the cabinets and grab a can of chicken soup. I reach into the dish cupboard and grab one of the bowls, not realizing one fell out from underneath it.

I jump back in shock as the glass bowl shatters against the tile and sends large shards everywhere. Frustrated tears swell in my eyes as I stare down at the broken bowl. A fucking metaphor of my life.

I take a shaky breath before stepping over it and grabbing the other bowl. I pour my soup into the bowl and try to shove down the bubbling emotions, threatening to take over.

"You're not going to clean that up?" A deep voice rings out across the quiet room, making my heart skip a beat.

I inhale slowly before reluctantly turning around and meeting the cold eyes staring at me from across the room.

I shift my weight on my feet nervously, as Eros's icy eyes scan over my body, almost looking for any sign of an injury.

"Not right now" I don't even recognize my broken voice as it leaves my chapped lips.

Eros's eyes soften almost unnoticeably, as my quiet words break the silence. They quickly change back to their cold exterior, causing my heart to speed up.

"Entitled" He scoffs, causing slight anger to surface within me.

"So this is where we are at again?" My eyebrows furrow as I stare at him.

"Nothing ever changed from the moment we met Arabella Karve. Don't be fucking naive" He sneers while shooting me a malicious glare just like he used to.

I hate when he calls me Arabella.

"That's bullshit and you know it. You are mad at me for something I didn't even want!" I begin to raise my voice.

He chuckles coldly while shaking his head, "Didn't want it." He repeats under his breath as if what I said was just a joke.

"Eros you don't fucking understand. I was on his lap-" I begin with venom laced in my words.

"Trust me I saw" He cuts me off.

"I wouldn't have done it since, well-" I say almost at a loss for words.

Eros rolls his eyes, "There is no reason you couldn't have fucked him, you are a big girl."

My lips part open in disbelief, "you're an asshole."

He runs his hand covered in ink through his dark hair, "It's cute you think I give a fuck what anyone thinks about me" He stares at me viciously, "especially you."

I brace my hand on the counter, feeling nauseous and faint, "you are an awful person."

He looks down at my hand with slight concern before looking back up into my eyes. He begins to slowly walk towards me before I quickly take a shaky step back and raise my hand up to stop him, "don't come near me ever again."

He clenches his jaw while stopping. I step over the glass and walk towards the kitchen door. Before I step out I look back at him one last time. "For the record Eros, I would have gladly slept with Dimitri if you hadn't walked in." I lie through my teeth before leaving the kitchen with the last word. If he expects me to be a bitch, I will give him every expectation he has on a golden platter.

I fucking hate him. *********************** With our anger clouding my thoughts, I throw the vase of white roses at the wall and glare as the vase shatters and my birthday flowers fall pathetically to the floor.

He doesn't even believe that Dimitri forced himself on me, drunk or not. I know I was in the wrong for leaving, but Eros believes I did it for disgusting reasons. And he won't even listen to me.

Eros is the same as he's always been. Cold, cruel, and completely heartless. I was just a fool for falling for him.

I won't make the same mistake either. ************************* Hope you enjoyed!!!<333 Sorry this chapter is so short it is just a filler before the next one😍

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Word count:1187