"Your hands are scarred from murder and yet I trust them completely."

Arabella Karve "I'm nervous, are you nervous?" I ramble absentmindedly, wiping my sweaty palms on the baggy jeans hanging loosely around my waist. Trying to find something casual to wear within my closet was possibly the hardest thing I have ever done.

Well, other than Eros.

I almost smile at my own internal joke, if it wasn't for the nerves dancing within my stomach and coming out as senseless commentary. I stare into my floor length mirror, contemplating tearing off the jeans and maroon tank top just like the rest of the outfits thrown on my bedroom floor.

Eros just shakes his head at me, continuing to pick up and fold all the clothes that didn't make the cut today.

Even if he thinks I am mentally unstable, I don't miss the dimple that appears on his cheek as I watch him through the mirror.

But in all fairness, he wasn't any help either because he just sat on the bed and watched me run around in my bra and underwear as if it was the most interesting thing he has ever seen.

It took all the self-restraint within me this morning to not take him up on his many generous offers.

"Do you think I look alright?" I furrow my eyebrows, "I'm sorry, Eros—I'm not trying to make this about me. Are you alright?"

After a couple weeks of Eros thinking over my advice about possibly letting William have a second chance at their relationship, he decided to respond. It took us almost an hour to decide upon an appropriate message to send William, since someone—not naming names—decided to start it with very colorful language.

And there I was thinking Eros was bad to me. To say the least— I was lucky for the way he spoke to me, even at the start of our relationship.

But after lots of editing, we sent the message. And now we are getting ready to go get lunch with Eros's brother.

My breath hitches as I feel Eros come up behind me, his chest pressing up against my back as I watch his masculine figure through the mirror. Carefully brushing my hair off my shoulder, he brushes a soft kiss to the skin, his lips lingering.

"You are beautiful," his warm breath caresses my skin, my eyes fluttering shut. "So fucking perfect."

"You kill me when you say things like that," I mumble while tilting my head back against his shoulder. I enjoy the feeling of his touch for a few moments, his mouth becoming the only thing that matters.

"What are you thinking?" I whisper, coming back to my senses.

Eros's large hands find their way to either side of my waist, his lips moving up my neck. "I am thinking that there are so many things I would rather do than go out for lunch with my brother." He says in a husky tone, his lips alluding to the 'many things' he has in mind.

"Hm?" I hum, his touch clouding my mind. He drags his hands dangerously low on my body.

"We can always reschedule," his warm breath caresses my ear.

"What did you have to eat this morning, darling?" I tease with a flirty smile. My eyes slowly open. Butterflies fill my stomach when I am immediately met with those cold blue eyes studying me intensely.

"Nothing, but I have some ideas of what I want to." He says with a smirk, his nose brushing against my jaw.

My jaw drops. His smirk grows.

"Lord give me strength," I mumble.

꧁꧂

The patio at the cafe that William recommended is filled with quiet chatter of the few people sitting at the small bistro tables as we walk up the wooden steps. I am about to meet Eros's only family, and that fact is scaring the living hell out of me.

I've never been scared of first impressions or have been nervous to meet someone because I truly have never cared enough. But meeting someone important to Eros?

I am terrified.

The idea of ever disappointing Eros in any way makes me sick to my stomach.

Eros interlaces his hand with mine, giving a soft squeeze. I look up at him, my eyes softening when I notice his cold gaze locked on a certain man sitting at one of the tables.

William Vandare.

"Eros." Is the first word William breathes as we reach the table, immediately shooting up from his seat.

His eyes are frantic, darting over his little brother who he abandoned over a decade ago. Guilt lines his face, the face that reminds me so much of Eros. Dark blue eyes contrasting against the wavy brown hair neatly gelled back, away from his face. A strong set jaw and a greek nose that you can tell has been broken multiple times. Each feature is sharp and enriched by his olive skin.

"William," Eros finally says, his tone so frigid William actually flinches.

"I-I can't believe you're really here," he stutters, looking over Eros again and again as if to try to make sure this is real.

Eros just stares.

And when William moves to take a step closer, Eros's features immediately darken making him still.

"How—how have you been?" He rakes a hand through his hair. Eros glances towards William's trembling fingers, his eyes lingering on his ring finger where a gold band is.

William tucks the hand in his pocket, his eyes unsure.

"Do you care?"

"I-" William looks away for a split second, his jaw tightening. He takes a deep breath before looking back, his eyes rimmed with a shade of red. "Of course I do."

Eros stays silent, just studying him.

"I've been good," Eros responds with a voice void of emotion. I give him a soft smile when he pulls me closer into his side, looking down at me to make sure I am still there.

William finally looks down towards me, surprise flickering in his eyes. Eros never mentioned to him that I was coming, partly because Eros wasn't sure if I should come.

Clearly William hasn't noticed me before this moment, and I don't blame him. I can't even imagine what is going through his head right now seeing his brother after all these years of not knowing anything.

"I'm Bel— Arabella," I stammer with a nervous smile. I reach out a hand towards William and he hesitantly shakes it, still looking at me with a look of confusion.

Did he notice how sweaty my hand is?

"Qesta è mia moglie."

William's eyes widen as he snaps them back to Eros. "Siete sposati?"

"Sì. E la tratterai con rispetto," Eros speaks lowly.

"Lei è bellissima."

"Lo so," Eros's gaze lingers on me, making me wonder if they were talking about me.

I am going to make the executive decision and assume they were.

William clears his throat.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Arabella." He gives me a small smile, regaining his composure. "I'm William, as I am sure you already know."

"Yes, of course. Sorry for Eros not telling you that I was coming."

William gives me a lopsided grin, "you're more than welcome to join. And thank you, I'm sure you must be the reason my little brother decided to finally have lunch with me."

I wonder what gave it away.

Eros's hand tightens around mine, but he doesn't say anything.

"And Eros," William takes a shaky breath. "You need to know how sorry I am. I-" he pauses. I guess he is getting straight to the point.

"How about we sit down before getting anymore into this?" I say, glancing towards where a table of some elderly women are staring, their aged faces scrunched in scrutiny.

I narrow my eyes at them as Eros turns towards the table, slightly tugging me with him. They quickly look away, picking back up in their conversation.

"I will regret walking out that night for the rest of my life. I don't have an excuse." William leans back in his chair, his expression filled with shame. I awkwardly lower into my seat.

"I had never known what it was like to not have to wake up in fear every morning, to not have to worry for my life every day."

Eros's hand is immediately on my thigh, his body rigid beside me. I place my hand on top of his, running my fingers along the small, jagged, scars, and veins lining his warm skin. His muscles steadily loosen.

"When I turned eighteen I felt like if I took one more minute I was going to break. So I left," his voice cracks as the words leave his lips. He drops his head for a moment. "I hate myself, and you deserve to hate me too, Eros."

A muscle feathers in Eros's jaw, his dark hair hanging messily over his forehead. His icy eyes stay locked on William, and my heart aches at everything they have gone through when just mere children.

"I then thought about going back, but—I'm a coward. I was too scared to face him again. I was too scared to face you again. It took me eight years to finally go back." He whispers. "But you were gone and it was just—it was just him."

He stays silent for a moment, his eyes haunted with memories. "He was sitting in that fucking chair as he always was." Williams eyes well as he looks back up to Eros. "He told me mamma had passed a few weeks back."

My stomach turns, his words sinking into my skin and the pain behind them seeping into my blood.

"She was still in their bed."

I look away from him, the pain in his eyes almost too much to handle. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see your mother like that. My hand interlaces with Eros, trying to give him as much support as I can. My poor boy.

"We couldn't afford the medical bills for her." Eros finally says, his voice rough and expression grim. "I took care of her, I tried. We knew she wasn't getting better and she told me to leave. I didn't think twice about it."

A tear rolls down Williams cheek, sliding along the tip of his nose. "I am sorry, Eros."

"You don't need to be," Eros's face is blank, his voice tight.

"I will spend as long as it takes to make it up to you." William whispers.

Eros nods.

꧁꧂

William throws his head back with laughter and a small smile appears on Eros's face as I talk about the time Eros ate one of the cookies that I left in the oven fifteen minutes too long.

"Then he had the audacity to lie to me and tell me they were good," I laugh, shaking my head at him.

"They were," he gives me that shit-eating grin. William watches his brother with a smile.

"They were completely black, baby."

His smile just grows as he watches me, the sight painfully beautiful.

God, this man could hit me with his car and I would say thank you.

"So neither of you can cook," William says, "or bake?" He shoots me a look.

"Rude," I roll my eyes with a growing smile. "But I'm going to learn... one of these days."

Eros gives me an unbelieving look and I shoot him a glare, "well one of us needs to be able to at least cook a meal."

Eros just hums in response with a playful smirk.

This isn't going to last forever.

"Did your parents never teach you how?" Wiliam asks, bracing his elbows on the table. I can tell he doesn't mean anything by his words, yet they leave a trail of hurt across the child within me who never learned anything from the people who were supposed to love her most in the world.

"They were busy," I purse my lips sadly.

William gives me an empathetic look, immediately understanding. I hate making people feel sorry for me. There are countless people out there who have had it much worse than me.

I don't deserve pity. My eyes uncomfortably dart towards Eros, the sympathy reminding me of how people have looked at me throughout my entire life.

Eros studies me intently, a messy lock of his raven colored hair hanging in front of one of his frosted eyes. He is casually sprawled back in his chair, one of his rough hands placed on my thigh.

A black blazer loosely hugs his body, the chain necklace hanging out of the long sleeved black shirt beneath it, looking delicious.

"My husband is an incredible chef," William says fondly, "If you would ever like to come visit one day, we would be more than happy to give you some lessons."

I just stare at him like a deer in headlights, the small act of kindness from someone other than my Eros having become foreign.

"Thank you, that sounds wonderful." Don't cry.

"Of course, I would love to get to know you better."

I smile, "mhm! And I would love to meet Onex, he sounds amazing." I mention his husband who couldn't join us today because of being in Nairobi this week, visiting his mother who is recovering from open heart surgery.

I hope they are both doing alright.

"He really is," William says fondly, his tone making me realize just how in love he is.

Seeing people in love has to be one of the most beautiful things.

Me and William continue talking for about another hour, the random conversations ranging between anything and everything. Sometimes—if we are lucky—we will even coax more than three word responses out of Eros.

I guess I forget how quiet and scary he can be around other people since I have gotten so used to the Eros I know when we are alone. No, he doesn't talk my ear off, but at least he is more talkative than whatever this is.

I think Hellen Keller would be more talkative than he is being right now.

But I am not judging him at all, I wouldn't have judged him no matter how he would have acted today. I will support him in whatever way he needs to process all of this.

I have to make sure to tell him how proud I am later.

"Thank you for everything, Arabella." William mumbles as he hugs me tightly, his arms wrapped tightly around me to show me just how thankful he is.

His flight leaves in a couple hours for Nairobi, and you can tell just how much he doesn't want to leave. I think there is a part of him that is scared Eros will refuse to do this again.

"Please, please make sure he responds to me," he says quietly, avoiding Eros's gaze that is searing into the back of my head as William continues to hug me.

I am sure Eros isn't looking the most friendly at the moment.

"You know I can't force Eros to do anything, I respect him too much," I whisper. "I will support him in whatever decision he makes, but I will try to help him make the right one."

William nods, "please take care of him. Do what I couldn't."

"I will."

"You're good for him. He deserves to have someone who he can love."

"Thank you," I finish, letting go of him with a small smile. "Have a safe flight and give Onex and his mother my well wishes."

He nods, a gentle look in his eyes.

"Goodbye Eros," William's lips slightly turn upwards, "I love you."

Eros just nods, his demeanor giving nothing away about how he is feeling.

William gives me one last smile before picking up his bag and disappearing down the patio stairs.

Eros doesn't say anything to me.

The walk back towards the car is silent, filled with a quiet tension as Eros looks straight ahead, looking deep in thought. There are a million things I have to say, but I stay silent, understanding that maybe this is how he is handling everything.

God, it is so hard to keep my mouth shut.

But I will for him, especially since half of the time, everything that leaves my mouth either comes out snarky or sarcastic. I was just blessed with the talent of being an asshole.

Eros silently pulls open the car door for me, closing it a few seconds after I slide in. I stare out the window, not making a sound as I hear him get into the car. His large frame immediately makes the car feel tighter, the atmosphere surrounding him intimidating as hell.

I hear him let out a deep sigh while leaning back in his seat, not making any move to start the car. I slowly turn my head towards him, not completely sure of what is happening.

His head is tilted back against the headrest as he closes his eyes, his Adam's apple bobbing softly.

Did I do something wrong?

"Come here, love." His husky voice resonates through me, not even bothering to open his eyes.

I am unsure on what he is expecting as I stay put, until he gently opens up one of his arms.

I take a shaky breath.

Eh, it's not like we haven't been in unprofessional positions before.

I carefully climb over the middle console, trying my hardest to avoid kicking Eros in the face so that he doesn't completely disown me. I gently climb onto his lap, straddling his legs with overwhelming grace. More or less.

His large hands immediately come to my waist, the tension in his body fading as I take his face in my hands. I lean forward and leave soft kisses along his jaw, making his eyes slowly open.

"Hi," I pull back, smiling innocently.

"Hi," he mumbles, his eyes slightly downcast.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, slightly tilting my head.

He grumbles something incoherent with a small frown etched on his face before burying his face into the crook of my neck.

"Come again," I furrow my eyebrows, whatever just happened completely lost on me.

Maybe he is having conflicting feelings with everything that just happened? I'm sure seeing his brother after all these years made forgotten memories or emotions resurface.

"He hugged you for so long," he grumbles against my neck, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me fully against his solid chest.

What.

"Please tell me that's not what you're upset about right now, Eros Vandare."

He stays silent.

"Eros! He is married! And on top of that, not even attracted to my sex!" I yell, completely dumbfounded that his brother hugging me too long is what he is upset about today. Not that I want him to be upset about anything—

"He lingered."

"My God, it was a hug!"

"I want to be the only one to touch you like that," he softly kisses my neck.

"It was friendly."

I can tell he doesn't believe me, thanks to his silence.

"Is there anything else you would like to talk about?" I say, "any other feelings you have besides being moody over a hug?"

"I didn't like how much he smiled at you," he pouts, pulling his face away and letting me drink in those beautiful blue eyes.

"You're actually impossible," I groan. One of his hands slides into the back of my shirt, resting the rough skin against my lower back.

"He didn't make you uncomfortable right?" He says while running one of his hands through my dark hair, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

"What? No, of course not, darling. Why would you think that?"

"I just will never let you feel uncomfortable again because of somebody else's actions." He mindlessly plays with a lock of my curled hair.

"Just because of what happened with Dimitri?" Just saying his name leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

The way his jaw tightens and he looks out the window gives me the only answer I need.

"Eros—" I hesitate, "you don't need to worry about that. It wasn't even bad," I pause, my words getting mixed up. "I–I was at fault too and—"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" I breathe.

"Invalidate what happened to you."

"I'm not—"

"Yes you are." His tone leaves no room for argument.

I silently lean forward, resting my forehead against his shoulder.

"Okay," I whisper softly before we fade into a comfortable silence.

"I hope you know how proud I am of you," I smile softly after a while, sliding my hands under the front of his shirt. I love touching him.

"I love you." Is all he says in response, clearly uncomfortable with any emotions that don't have to do with me, for some reason that I can't comprehend.

How am I even supposed to function when he randomly says things like that?

A smile blooms on my face, "let me compliment you."

He shoots me a glare, "I'll pass."

"Your loss, Vandare."

꧁꧂

Hi everyone! So sorry for disappearing the way I did! Thank you all for the support, it means the world to me<3

I've just been having a hard time loving my writing and I needed a minute to figure myself out:)

I love you all and hope you enjoyed!

Word count: 3882