"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."

Arabella Karve There have been no notes, no roses, and absolutely no sign of Dominik.

It's been silent for an entire month now.

My life has been about as close as it gets to perfect. I don't even think I've cried in weeks which doesn't seem like a big deal, but for me that is just about groundbreaking.

I've spent my days painting, reading, and spending every minute I can with Eros and loving him as much as possible in the time we have left.

It's been my personal mission to learn as much about Eros as a person is capable of learning about another. Ranging from his favorite color, which is possibly the most boring color he could have chosen, brown. All the way to his worst fear, which he said is losing me.

I felt kind of stupid after his response because my answer was vomit and bad handwriting. He didn't seem to judge my answer, that much.

Eros and I both know that my worst fear goes way beyond bodily functions and penmanship, but it's been asserted many times throughout my life that honesty is a foreign concept to me.

I never told Eros about the conversation I had with my mother last month, blindly giving her my trust in order to have just a little bit longer with the love of my life before it has to end.

I also haven't mentioned to him the lack of sleep I have had the past few nights.

That gut feeling that I've had my entire life, the feeling when I know a week before something bad is going to happen but I don't know what, came crawling back one random night for the first time in a while.

It woke me up from a dead sleep, my stomach in knots as if my worst fear began clawing its way out of my gut.

I don't even know how to mention it to Eros without sounding like a mental case. Especially since there is no real reason to believe that anything bad is going to happen besides the red rose sitting in the back of my mind, whispering to me every second of the day that something awful is going to happen. Like what happened that night in the garden.

He wouldn't even believe me if I told him, no one ever does. Not that I deserve to be believed.

I sigh as I lean back in the bath, succumbing to the warm water that slowly soothes my aching muscles. I am never working out with Eros again, that's for damn sure.

Or workout again in general.

The sound of my phone ringing shatters the silence of my bathroom, my heart leaping into my throat as I am snapped out of my thoughts that don't seem to ever stop eating me alive.

I glance over at the screen, letting out an eternal groan as I see an incoming call.

"Hey girly, are you still going down to the record shop this afternoon?" Briar's voice sounds from the other line the moment I press answer.

"Of course I am, I could never miss out on seeing Hazel in her natural habitat."

I sink ever further into the bath. I forgot all about that.

"Okay, perfect. I didn't want to be stuck there alone if Hazel actually has work to do or something," she says, sounding distracted as I hear movement in the background.

"As if," I roll my eyes with a grin, even if Briar can't see me. "If Hazel is too busy doing work to hangout, then she is possessed or some shit."

Briar lets out a laugh, the milky sound ringing through the phone.

"Okay you're right, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook. I miss you, so please seduce your boyfriend into bringing you down to visit."

"I'm hanging up on you now," I respond with a teasing tone, a shy smile spreading across my face.

"I love you, too. See you soon," Briar draws out her words. I can almost see the stupid smile on her face.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

I laugh softly before hanging up the phone, setting it back down on the bathtub ledge. I tilt my head to the side, watching the small water droplets roll off of the black screen.

Today is going to be a good day. And I will stop overthinking, nothing bad is going to happen.

My eyes flutter shut as I take a deep breath, slowly grounding myself.

I've never been good at separating my thoughts from reality. Somehow the things I am scared of and the things I manifest in my own mind cross the border of reality, but at this point I'm going to drive myself to the verge of insanity.

I need to figure myself the hell out in conclusion.

My eyes slowly open as I hear a soft knock on the bathroom door, a small smile playing at my lips, knowing exactly who it is.

"Come in," I call out, turning my body to lean against the side of the tub. I cross my arms on the ledge, resting my head on top of the wet skin as I watch the door slowly open.

Trying not to drool all over myself became suddenly difficult the second Eros enters the dark room, only illuminated by my sparsely lit candles.

No, they are not a great light source, but God, they smell heavenly.

"Hi, pretty girl."

A shiver runs down my spine at the thick italian accent drenched in his words, the sound of his voice making my heart skip a beat, just as it always does.

He slowly walks towards me, his dark hair hanging messily over his forehead as his eyes never leave mine. His black compression shirt clings perfectly to every muscle of his torso, the black sweatpants that hang loosely around his waist giving me a small, yet delicious view of his lower abdomen.

"Hi," I breathe, admiring every inch of him.

I am still able to make out his sharp features, even in the dark room

"How was the rest of your workout," I say while narrowing my eyes at him, knowing that he told me I completed his entire workout, even though he spent another forty-five minutes in the gym, thinking I wouldn't notice. Nice try.

"I don't know what you mean," he gives me a boyish grin, squatting down by the tub. He is almost at my eye-level with me as I pin him with a glare.

"You tricked me," I shoot him an unamused look.

"I took mercy on you," he counters, tucking a piece of wet hair behind my ear.

It's hard to stay mad at this man when he acts all sweet like this.

"You look like you find this funny, Vandare."

"No, Vita Mia, I would never," he says, barely suppressing the amusement in his tone.

"Liar," I mumble, the small smile tugging at my lips betraying me.

I suddenly let out a shriek when Eros leans over the tub, the entire half of his body getting soaked as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Eros!" I yell through hysterical laughter, my body sliding further in the bathtub, pulling him along with me.

"Don't be mad at me, baby," he mumbles, playfully kissing along my shoulder.

"Fine, fine, I'm not!" I giggle uncontrollably, trying to push away his face.

I can feel him smile against my skin, his body now mostly crushing me in my once peaceful bath. So much for relaxing.

"Okay we're getting out I'm freezing," I smile, slowly starting to catch my breath from all the laughter. Eros slowly unwraps his arms from around me, wearing a proud smirk.

"Thank you," I smile softly as Eros reaches out a hand, helping me step out. He grabs my towel from off the counter, wrapping it around me with gentle hands.

"Soooo," I say casually.

Eros raises an eyebrow, glancing at me with an unamused look. He knows me too well.

"I forgot that my friends wanted to hang out today...." I give him an innocent smile.

"Will you perchance take me to see them in a couple hours?"

Having to make someone come and watch you wherever you go is honestly beyond embarrassing. Yes, I know it's his job but still, I sound like the most dependent young woman to ever exist.

And now that me and Eros are kind of in a relationship... It's just kind of an awkward situation.

I shouldn't have even asked him, he's going to be tired of me always needing something. I don't want to be seen as a liability to him. I don't want him to see me like my parents do.

"Stop overthinking," Eros leaves a calming kiss on my forehead, immediately stopping my racing thoughts. "Of course I'll take you."

I wrap my arms around his neck, "You're the best, I love you so much!"

His lips are on mine a second after the words leave my mouth, his mouth moving against mine.

"I love you, Arabella." He says, his mouth against mine, "even if I hate your friends."

I laugh, throwing my head back at how unfriendly this man is.

"You need socialization anyways, sir."

He's so pretty... even when he's glaring at me.

꧁꧂

"You brought Arabella too?!" Hazel squeals, running towards me like a horse that just got let out of its stable. I brace for impact, sending a quick prayer to the Lord. It would be greatly appreciated if you didn't let someone almost five inches shorter than me break my back.

Her short arms immediately wrap around my waist and I let out a half scream, half laugh, when I am lifted off the ground and spun around like a rag doll.

Because of Hazel's height—or lack thereof—I am only about an inch off the ground, but still.

Her love language is aggression I've decided.

"Hi Hazel," I giggle as she sets me down, still clinging onto me.

"It's been so long since I've seen you!"

"You saw me last week," I laugh, smoothing out her curly red hair that is shooting up in every possible direction.

"Yeah but I thought I lost you forever," she groans dramatically. "I was worried that scary man was going to lock you away in your mansion forever."

Eros has possibly the most unamused expression I have ever seen.

I can see now why he has a slight dislike for them.

"Hi Ara," I hear a delicate voice and look away from the wild girl clinging to my waist. My eyes land on Briar as she walks out from behind a shelf filled with jazz records from all different eras.

The record shop where Hazel somehow managed to convince the owners into giving her a job at, is absolutely beautiful and completely one of a kind.

All of the foundation and architecture are kept the same from the original business a few decades ago.

Long vines are hung across the open window and moss green walls, along with staggered records and rustic posters.

Where the Lana Del Rey records are is my only question.

"You're glowing," she says while looking over me, as if she isn't the most beautiful woman to ever walk the planet.

"Thanks Briar," I say sincerely, her compliment melting my heart.

"And that's the boyfriend glow for ya," Hazel pulls away from me with a smirk.

My eyes narrow, "you just made that up."

"Nuh uh."

I don't get paid enough for this.

I silently thank the Lord that Eros wandered off curiously, looking over all of the music that the shop has to offer.

Hazel giggles mischievously before skipping off, yelling over her shoulder, "I gotta go find Atlas!"

I could have sworn I heard her mumble something along the lines of 'and admire your boyfriend' too—but I have no idea anymore.

"Come here," Briar says while opening up her arms, the offer all too inviting.

I immediately walk into her arms, her warmth and smell wrapping around me.

"How's life?" She says pulling back a little, her hands on my shoulders as she studies my flushed face.

"It's honestly amazing," I say with a genuine smile. "How about you? How's Atlas?"

"I'm lovely. And as for Atlas... we are moving in together," she gushes "and getting a puppy."

I squeal, excitedly hugging her again, "Oh my gosh, yay! I am so excited for you guys!"

She laughs, "thank you."

I nod, loving the look in her eyes, that look of love.

"And what about you and Eros?" She grins knowingly, tilting her head towards the room he walked into, leading towards even more music options.

"We're happy," I say with sheepish eyes, tucking a piece of my wavy hair behind my ear.

"I can tell, you guys are so in love."

"Whatever," I roll my eyes, trying to suppress my nervous smile.

We fall into a mindless chatter, updating each other on every life development there is to offer.

She tells me all about her blossoming relationship with Atlas that is turning much more serious than she ever expected. And then I tell her about all the secret details regarding me and Eros.

I pick and choose what to say as I tell her random stories, never mentioning the parts of my life that will give my family away.

A part of living the life I live with the title of my family, is the fact that it has to not be shared with people who don't have any connection or involvement with my family's business.

That means I can never be fully honest to my friends without putting them in direct danger of my family or extensions of it. To them, I am a rich girl, who has overprotective parents and an average life.

The scar on my neck to them was from a stumble in the yard as a child. The bruises that littered my body after the attack were from rolling my ankle when walking down our staircase.

I hate having to lie, but then again, it's what I've had to do my entire life.

"Excuse me for a quick moment, I have to use the restroom," she tells me after a while, gently touching my arm before walking off in the opposite direction.

I shake my head with a happy sigh, beginning to move towards the direction I saw Eros disappear to.

I hum a quiet tune to myself, dragging my pale fingers along the dusty shelves.

I silently step into one of the adjoining rooms in the shop, the windows letting golden light seep into the room, illuminating all the shelf's.

My eyes find Eros a moment later, my heart beating differently merely from being in the same room as him.

I quietly walk up behind him as he stares down at some music, looking deep in thought.

"Hi love" I get his attention with a small smile, slowly walking towards him.

He glances up from whatever he was looking at, the tension in his body melting away the second he sees me.

"There's my girl," he says under his breath, his expression something that will forever be engraved into my memory. Something about the way he looked at me.

"Whatcha thinking about?" I ask softly, slowly walking up. I crane my neck up towards him, his hands sliding onto the curves of my waist.

"You," he breathes, and I raise an eyebrow suspiciously.

"What about me?" I say hesitantly.

He leans down a little, resting his forehead against mine. The masculine smell that I've become so addicted to engulfs me entirely.

"How perfect you are." The dimple appears in his tan cheek at his innocent words. Small freckles litter his strong nose, every single mark on his face aligning together like the stars, making the most beautiful sight in the entire world.

"Uh huh..." I giggle, and his eyes flutter shut, seeming at peace.

"Adoro quel suono," he mumbles, one of his hands sliding up and entwining itself in my dark locks of hair.

"English please," I glare playfully at him.

I gasp suddenly when I feel someone run into my back, stumbling completely into Eros because of the unexpected impact. Eros flips us around, pushing me behind him with one hand as his other goes for the gun tucked in his waistband, without missing a beat. The aura surrounding him turns murderous within a second.

"Eros!" I say nervously the second I see the innocent blonde girl standing in front of him, looking like a deer in the headlights. I quickly place my hand on his, gently moving him behind me, praying that she didn't see the gun that was about to be pulled on her.

Eros barely moves, standing completely stiff as he eyes her wearily.

"I'm so so sorry," she says with wide brown eyes, glancing towards me with full sincerity. "Are you okay? I completely tripped on my own foot," she winces with a flustered smile. I give her a comforting smile, trying to ignore the shivers that run down my spine from the way Eros's hand wraps itself protectively around my waist. "Yes, I promise. You don't have to apologize."

"Oh phew! I am so glad," she places her hand over her heart and I take the minute to admire just how beautiful she is. Full lips, long blonde hair paired with dark brown eyes only a little lighter than mine. Freckles are scattered across her lightly blushed cheeks with a small mole right above her upper lip.

"Sorry, I'm a disaster. But please, continue on with the romantic moment, that I hope I didn't just completely ruin. You guys are adorable by the way, fit each other very well." She rambles on, her hands shooting in every direction as she talks. "Alright, bye bye."

I stare at her, a confused expression contorting on my face. She gives me one last sheepish smile, turning around and awkwardly walking off in the opposite direction.

"I don't like her," Eros mumbles from behind me.

"Sir, you don't like anyone."

"I like you."

"I'm honored," I roll my eyes with a sarcastic grin.

"Are you ready to go socialize now, Mr. Vandare?" I say playfully, turning around to face him.

"No."

"Just the answer I was looking for! Let's go."

I turn around and give him a quick peck on the cheek before heading in the direction of Hazel's laughter that is becoming a pitch only dogs can hear.

"Don't you have to work or something?" I ask with a grin, collapsing on her lap so that I don't miss anymore of the gossip.

There are two beige sofas placed in the corner by the entrance, making the shop feel like home. Briar is sitting across from Hazel, her legs crossed daintily as she sips on the coffee that somehow always manages to appear in her hands no matter the circumstance.

Atlas sits beside her, his hand resting on her lower back as he gazes at her side profile, a small smile tugging at his lips.

I lay down with my head in Hazel's lap, my body sprawled across one of the sofas. She pokes one of my cheeks, "hush! It's rare you two give me any attention so I might as well enjoy it while I can."

"You're the biggest drama queen I have ever met."

"It's part of my charm," she flips her hair over her shoulder confidently.

Eros walks by, casually pulling down my skirt that rode up a little when I threw myself down on the sofa. He sits down beside my feet, the cushion dipping due to his size.

"Besides, my coworker is here today and she loves some extra work."

"I'm sure she does," Atlas mumbles sarcastically, looking at her over his glasses.

One of my favorite things about Atlas is the fact that you rarely hear him say anything, but when he does it is either the most thoughtful thing you have ever heard or always funny. That's a quality I lack to say the least.

"She does, swear!" Hazel defends herself with wide eyes. "Besides, she owes me because I drive her home most nights so that she doesn't have to walk home in the dark."

"Couldn't you just do it out of the kindness of your heart?" I grin up at her.

She scoffs, "okay Mother Teresa why don't you become a free cab service then?"

"I can't drive," I crinkle my nose. Briar and Hazel gape at me as if I just slapped them both across the face.

"First you're a virgin and then you can't drive?!" Hazel yells, making me bury my face into my hands. "At this point I'm wondering if you're fifteen."

I should have just stayed home with Eros.

꧁꧂

"Okay, you promise I will see you this weekend for dinner?" Briar asks me, as we hug goodbye.

We spent about an hour and a half all just laughing while talking about anything that came to mind. I've never had a friend group before, and I can't describe how amazing it feels to have people who want to be around you.

Family has to be around me, they are forced to be around me. But friends choose to be there, and choose to love you because they want to.

I'm just happy. For the first time in my life, I am living, not merely surviving.

"Of course, I'll be there," I promise, squeezing her a little tighter before letting go completely.

Briar came up with the idea that we should all have dinner together Saturday night at a new restaurant that opened up a few weeks ago in order to celebrate.

When I asked what we were celebrating, she only responded with "life", because according to her that is a good enough reason to celebrate.

"Okay good," she chirps, "then I will see you both tomorrow."

I laugh, shaking my head, " Bye Briar, have a goodnight. And Hazel," I look over to her as she plays with her curls, "take it easy on your coworker. Don't overwork the poor girl."

The corners of her eyes crinkle as her mouth curves into a smile, "me? Never."

Eros silently holds the door open and I wave them all one last goodbye before accepting the hand he extended towards me, letting him guide me out of the shop.

The air is crisp as the sun begins to be enveloped by the horizon, the stars steadily emerging like children of the crescent moon.

"What did you buy?" My curious voice fills the quiet car, watching as Eros slides into the driver's side of the black suv.

Apparently I was too distracted by everything else that was happening that it managed to slip my attention that he's been carrying a bag from the shop this entire time.

He silently places the hefty bag on my lap before putting the key into the inniton, the car purring to life.

"Nothing much," he answers in a casual tone.

I eye him wearily, not moving to touch the bag.

"Is it okay if I look?" I ask after a couple of seconds, making him look over with amusement dancing in his icy eyes.

"Yes, love. It's for you."

I give him a genuine smile before curiously opening up the bag on my lap.

"Eros," I say softly, pulling out seven Lana Del Rey records placed inside that he bought without me ever saying anything. "You didn't have to," I whisper tearfully, the action by itself one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

"I wanted to." He reaches over the middle consul, placing his scarred hand on mine.

"I love them, thank you." I whisper, choked up at the fact at how much I love this man. And how soon I am going to have to stop loving him.

That thought alone makes bile burn my throat, my mood darkening.

The rest of the car ride is completely silent as I hold onto Eros's hand . I hold onto him as if his hand is my lifeline, the thread holding me between the present moment where he is still with me, and the future that I am indefinitely chained to, forever dragged into its formidable reality.

It dawns upon me that I have to tell him the truth, knowing that the only reason he doesn't know is because of my pure selfishness. I am lying to one person that I can trust with anything. I have to tell him, I have to tell him before it's too late.

The manor comes into view, the hair on my arms rising as dread fills my gut. I don't want to go inside.

I don't want this to be real. But it is and I have to face it.

The car comes to a stop and I listen as the engine dies, the only sound I am left with is my own heartbeat pounding in my chest, speeding up by the second.

My stomach feels tied in knots, reluctantly letting go of Eros's hand.

I barely notice as he gets out of the car, staring down at my fidgeting hands until my car door is pulled open.

Eros gently helps me step out of the car, making sure I don't lose my balance due to the heels I decided went with my outfit today. He takes the bags from my hands before we begin walking towards the entrance.

We make it up to my room after a few minutes, the silence deafening as we enter.

There are no notes, no roses, and absolutely no sign of Dominik.

Everything is in place.

But he's coming.

I don't know how I know it, but I do.

"Hey, I have to deal with some things for a little while, but I'll come up to your room once I get back, alright?" Eros says from behind me as I walk further into the room, slightly pausing at the sudden information.

"What are you dealing with?" I ask calmly, trying to keep the temor out of my voice as I slide off my shoes, balancing one hand on my vanity.

I don't turn around to face him, knowing that my expression is slowly cracking.

He's coming,

The pit in the bottom of my stomach grows. I have to tell Eros.

He's coming,

"I just am going to go visit someone," he answers briefly, his tone giving away nothing.

He's coming,

I hear him set down the record bag and my purse. I nod, knowing that's as much of an answer as he's going to give me.

He's coming,

"I'm going to ask one of your fathers men to wait outside your bedroom, until I get back. I just want to make sure you are safe."

He's coming.

"Eros," I breathe.

"Hm?"

"I don't think you should come back."

The room falls silent. So silent it's almost painfully loud.

My breath turns uneven. Deep breaths.

"What?" He breathes after a minute of silence, sounding almost unsure if he heard me correctly.

"You heard me," I whisper, finally turning to face him.

"I'll be back soon, Bella. Where is this coming from?" He says in a confused, yet soft tone. He carefully starts moving towards me, seeming almost scared that if he makes any sudden movements I will run.

"Please," I croak, needing him to let go before it becomes too hard for me to ever let him go.

"Hey, hey. What's going on?" He says, alarm washing over his perfect features.

I can't stop the tears that finally start falling, "something bad is going to happen, Eros," I croak, finally accepting the reality that I know is coming, rather I like it or not.

There goes my record of not crying for a month.

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows pinch together in confusion, my confession coming out of nowhere after a perfect day. "What's happening?"

"Eros you have to leave, I'm sorry," tears begin cascading down my warm cheeks, my voice choked and broken.

He looks hurt, as if my dagger was in his chest, my hand twisting it with every moment my words hang in the air above us.

He stops moving, his body going rigged.

"Did I do something?" He whispers after a minute.

"No Eros, no." I sob, my heart physically hurting.

If I don't do it now, I never will.

My mother already made it clear there was a deadline, that soon enough I would have to let Eros go. I was going to wait as long as possible, until a marriage was arranged and I was forced to let go, forced into power.

But I've known for a week. I had the exact same feeling I had a week before Tara was killed. Dominik is coming and he's going to do whatever it takes to ruin me.

Eros will not die because of my love for him, he will not die at the hand of my own selfishness.

I killed Tara because I couldn't let her go. I will not make the same mistake.

"You just have to leave, as soon as possible." I repeat, my breath becoming too fast, my heart beating too fast.

"I'm not leaving, Arabella. At least not until you give me a reason for why you suddenly don't want me here," he says, anger seeping through his words.

And rightfully so.

I should have never put him in this position. I knew this was never going anywhere and yet I fell in love with him, I let him fall in love with me.

I was selfish, but it ends here. I love him enough to let him go.

My bottom lip wobbles, my legs threatening to give out beneath my trembling body.

"He's coming for me," I finally manage to say as sobs wrack my body. "And when he does, he will kill you, Eros."

Five things I can see. The way Eros's eyes soften as the words leave my lips. Montague rubbing up against Eros's calf, hinting for his attention. My fresh white roses on the dresser that I woke up this morning. My empty coke bottle that was thrown on my messy nightstand. The last rays of sunshine illuminating the paintings on the wall that Eros hung up this month, telling me he thought my art was beautiful and doesn't deserve to be hidden away in the back of my closet.

"I know you're not going to believe me because I have no proof, but I know," I sob, my words a hysterical mess. "There's something I can't describe in me that is tied to him and I know that he is coming and he's going to hurt you, Eros."

He gives me no response, only slowly walking towards me.

I take a shaky step back, knowing that if he comes any closer I'm going to completely break.

"I can't lose you. I'd never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you, so please." I cry. I cry so hard my chest hurts and my lungs burn.

"I can't lose you," I repeat again.

He reaches me, standing so close our chests are almost touching and I can feel the warm caress of his minty breath as he gazes down at me.

"I would walk through hell and back for you, Arabella Karve." He says, his voice low.

"If you think I am leaving because I fear for my life, then you don't know anything about what I find important in this world." He says, raising one of his hands to wipe one of the tears decorating my face. "And if you think I would ever leave you in danger, leave the person who I wouldn't even think twice about sacrificing anything in this goddamn world for, then you don't know me at all."

His words fill my soul as my hands start trembling, every word caught in my throat.

"And if I do die, if I die staying here and putting my life on the line just for a couple more minutes with you, then I would be just as alive as I would be if I survived and was without you."

Another sob breaks past my throat, "No, Eros you aren't listening. You will fall in love again, I am not the only woman for you because there are so many more you are capable of loving who you don't have to risk your life for everyday." My stomach turns at the words leaving my mouth, but I say them anyway, desperate for him to leave and live a beautiful, long life.

"So leave, this thing between you and me isn't going anywhere anyways." I sob, my head spinning. "We can't be together."

My legs give out from under me, the lack of air and my racing pulse too much to handle anymore. Right as I brace myself to hit the floor, two muscular arms wrap them around my waist, never letting my body even come close to hitting the stone.

I pathetically let him carry me across the room, my body trembling in his steady arms as the world spins around us.

He perches himself on the edge of our bed, guiding my body onto his lap facing him. His hands find their way to my hips, calming the persistent tremors.

My legs straddle his lap, trying to ground myself in this moment, in his arms. I bury my face into his rough shoulder, not ready to look him in the eyes as all the tears that have been building up since the moment I realized I would lose my soulmate without ever getting to spend my life with him pour out.

I don't want to lose him, I am selfish.

"Look at me, Vita Mia." His voice is a rough rumble in my ear. I am pulled back to reality, a shudder racking my body from the feeling of his breath against my ear.

I sniffle, pulling my face out of his damp shoulder and deciding to finally face him.

My bloodshot eyes flicker to his, my mascara stains drying as dark trails down my cheeks.

He gently leans in towards me, my eyes fluttering shut with shaky breaths. He leaves a soft kiss on each of my eyelids, as if trying to kiss away the tears and pain.

I feel him pull away after a second, my eyes hesitantly opening to be met with his intense gaze locked unwaveringly on me.

"I am going to marry you one day," he tells me, his tone a firm promise.

The way he speaks, the sound of his intimate words, somehow makes me believe him even though I know it is knowingly impossible.

"Don't say this isn't going anywhere because I plan on having you as my wife, and spending the rest of my life beside you. I will spend every hour, of every day, loving you, and worshiping you, and learning every single way to put that smile on your face."

My bottom lip wobbles, every word sinking into my scarred skin and imprinting into my heart that is still learning what it means to be loved, and for what it feels like for someone to want to love me.

"I love you, Arabella. Only you," he promises, his dark hair hanging over his forehead, just above the soulful eyes that reflect an endless winter.

"But my mom, she told me that she knows about us," my voice cracks. Admitting it to him feels like finally having to admit that it's true, that this is real. "She says it has to end when they arrange a marriage for me. I'll have to leave you and— it's impossible for us to be together." My eyebrows draw together, my chest clenching painfully.

"We will find a way, I promise," he says without even a moment of hesitation, his eyes boring into mine.

"But you'll be safe," I croak, my voice going dry.

In one swift moment he leans forward and captures my lips with his, completely drowning out the doubt sitting on the tip of my tongue.

I sigh into his mouth, my agonizing thoughts gradually going silent from the clarity seeping into me.

"I am not leaving, I am not leaving you." He breathes, pulling back for a split second. His lips are like a promise, sealing his words into my body and mind.

"But I don't want to lose you." I gasp out a surprised moan, his lips trailing their way down to my jaw, kissing along the jagged scar that Dominik left all those years ago.

"You won't, baby. I'm right here and I'm never leaving," he rasps against my skin.

I let out a strangled noise, my legs subconsciously clenching together as they straddle his muscular thighs. I can feel every solid inch of his body against mine, and God, it feels perfect.

His lips find their way to my neck, sliding the sleeve of my cropped sweater off off my shoulder, providing more access to my bare skin that is covered by goosebumps.

My hips roll against his, heat drenching my core with every movement of his needy mouth on me.

I need this, I need him.

He tilts his head back with a strained groan, the sound echoing through the dimly lit room and bouncing off the walls like a quiet symphony.

Without any warning he suddenly flips our bodies, an aching gasp breaking past my lips as he lays me back against the bed, his body pressed on top of mine. His hands are on either side of my head, his lips worshiping every inch of my neck.

"You're fucking perfect," he pants huskily. He kisses my lips again before pulling back completely, staring down at me with hungry eyes.

My chest heaves as I struggle to catch my breath, every inch of my body begging for his touch. His solid body is pressed against mine, every inch of him pure and unmovable muscle.

"Can I?" He asks in a thick voice, his fingers running along the bottom of my sweater.

Every single time I feel even the brush of his touch something inside of me is ignited, a burning desire that I never knew existed.

"Please," I whisper, my core throbbing for him.

That one word is all it takes for his self restraint to snap, my sweater being thrown onto the other side of the dark room.

His mouth is immediately on the skin of my chest, masterfully moving around the navy, lace bra barely covering my breasts. My bra joins my shirt, every inch of my chest completely exposed.

I arch my body into him, letting out a breathy moan at the feeling of his teeth nipping against the sensitive skin, immediately followed by his tongue, soothing the sharp sensation.

"Sei così bella," he growls against the skin of my stomach, kissing along a downwards path, "così mia."

Each kiss is more agonizing then the last, becoming more and more difficult to breathe by the second.

My fingers intertwine themselves into his dark head of hair, feeling the soft locks against my sweaty hands. His lips continue to move down my stomach, each brush making the coil in my core tighten even further.

"Eros," I whimper, his fingers hooking themselves in the belt loops of my black skirt, sliding it off my hips and down my legs with deliberate slowness.

I need him more than anything. I need his touch, I need his mouth.

He runs his thumb lightly over my core, the flimsy piece of underwear doing nothing to hide just how much I want him.

"My needy girl," he rasps, sensually kissing my pelvis as I let out a sharp cry. My legs tremble uncontrollably, overcome with the lust filling my blood, feeling like it's going to shatter my entire body any second.

He uses one hand to slide off my underwear as I swallow thickly. He moves slow, so deliberately slow,

I want to yell out in frustration, but every word gets caught in my throat when I feel a soft kiss pressed against my inner thigh, his eyes watching me intently.

A predator watching its prey. Cunning, curious, dangerous.

"Do you trust me?" His warm breath fans against my core, my skin prickling at the question.

I nod shakily, because I know I trust him even as he leaves me in antagonizing desperation.

His eyes flicker up towards mine, the intimate feeling of his unwavering gaze on mine fills the room. I inhale sharply.

"Always," I manage, beads of sweat forming on my forehead, making my pale skin gleam under the last ray of golden sunlight.

"Then put your legs on my shoulders," he commands lowly. His veiny hands find my outer thighs, guiding them towards his shoulders carved from pure muscle.

My breath gets caught in my throat, my brain barely functioning because of my rapid heartbeat and racing thoughts.

"I don't want to hurt you," I swallow thickly, uncertainty in my voice and movements.

"You won't, baby." His Adam's apple bobs as his eyes linger on my face, gazing up towards me from in between my legs.

Lord, please forgive me.

I nod, letting him slide my thighs onto his shoulders, completely baring myself to his starved eyes.

"Tell me if it's too much, alright?" He reassures me breathlessly, his hands gripping the sides of my thighs.

His eyes move away from mine, his head dipping to where I can no longer see them. My chest heaves, not sure what exactly is happening at this very moment.

Am I supposed to be doing something right now? What if I am—

At the first flick of his tongue, I am no longer worried about anything else in the world but the all-consuming oblivion washing through my veins.

His starved mouth moves against my body slowly at first, in ways I never thought possible, my legs tightening around him.

And then his movements become ravenous, completely and utterly destroying me.

I tug harshly on his hair as broken sobs and moans spill from me, increasing by the second.

A low hum of approval sounds from him, the sound reverberating throughout me.

All my doubts, and anxiety, and pain disappear as I get lost in the feeling of him taking over every sense and thought.

He tugs me closer, completely devouring me until I am a trembling mess beneath his wild touch.

I let out a choked moan, throwing my head back as his rough fingers join his mouth, reaching the base of my core to move in a harmonized rhythm.

My body quakes beneath him, his tongue, his breath, his lips, and fingers stopping my sense of time at what feels like an eclipse shatters inside of me.

I bite down harshly on my hand, trying to muffle the raw scream that follows the blinding climax that rolls through me.

He gently slides my thighs from off his shoulders after finishing cleaning up with his mouth, pulling his head up from in between my legs with ragged breath.

"Don't do that," he rasps, slowly crawling up my body on the bed. He gently pulls my hand out from my mouth, his mouth taking its place immediately. "You're gonna hurt yourself," he gets out before our lips connect once more.

My eyelids grow heavy, his lips gradually pulling away from mine with a lazy smirk. Pure satisfaction flickers in his eyes.

"You okay?" He asks, leaving a tender kiss on my sweaty forehead. He softly brushes a stray piece of hair from out of my eyes, a tired smile gracing my swollen lips.

"Yeah," I yawn quietly, laying my head back against the pillow. "Are you?"

"Yeah," he smiles breathlessly.

He sweetly kisses the tip of my nose, pulling up the blanket over my bare body as a wave of exhaustion washes over my senses.

My eyes flutter shut as I get comfortable on the soft bed, dozing in and out of the welcoming darkness. I hear the light sound of his boots hitting the floor, followed by the clatter of mettle being sat on the nightstand.

Lovely, he had guns on him that entire time.

He had four on him today. Four.

I let out a soft sigh as his large arms finally find their way to me, wrapping around my body. I rest my head against his broad chest, his arms the most comforting place in the world to me.

This is what home feels like. What my home feels like.

"I didn't want you to leave," I mumble through my drowsiness.

He kisses the top of my head, "I know, baby."

"I'm sorry I said this isn't going anywhere, I didn't mean it like that."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he reassures me in a soft tone.

His heartbeat is a steady rhythm in my ear, soothing me into a peaceful sleep.

"I love you, Bella." He mumbles into my hair, his chest rumbling beneath me,

"I love you, Eros."

I always will.

꧁꧂

Hey long time no see!! ❤️ Sorry it's been a bit of a rough patch but I am definitely going to try to not disappear for that long again:))

I love you all so much and you guys mean everything to me<3

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Word count: 7600