Spade

I didn't think I would meet Nate home when I left my place but I was relieved when I found his car in front of his apartment building, the place kind of felt different now that I was coming here to see Nate, it didn't feel like I owned my building again, it felt like I was coming to a different place entirely.

And when I saw him I realized how much I had missed being around him, I didn't even know I could feel this way for anyone in my life, feelings, this was something I was always afraid of, because of the way my life had turned out because of that.

If my parents didn't feel for each other they wouldn't have gotten married, let alone have kids before my dad would abuse my mom and sometimes take his anger out on me, i never let the man's backlash to fall on Matteo, even though our father always wanted to pour out all his anger on Matteo.

Most of his anger was directed on Matteo, I always made sure to take the brunt of my father, saving Matteo from it.

And now I was feeling things, crazy things. Missing someone, thinking about him all the time and having my heart beat wildly for him. The more i stood kissing Nate, the more i didn't think I could stop feeling like this for Nate.

This feeling I had in my heart for Nate, it wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon. I felt Nate's hand move up slowly and tenderly as he placed them on my shoulder, I could tell he wasn't completely comfortable around me, but it was okay, that was one of the reasons why I was here today, so we could talk and set things straight.

I pulled away from him to give us both a little time to breath as my chest was already growing hot due to lack of air, his lips were slightly swollen and red as he peered up at me, his eyes soft and calm, he was breathing hard as I stared down at him, wanting to run my thumb along those beautiful lips

I smiled calmly at him, I wanted to tell him I'd missed him, but something was holding me back, I didn't really know what but something strong was pushing the words back into my throat. Maybe it was still the small part of me that still believed in the words of my mind, that feelings were bad and they made one soft, and that they were a weakness.

But I stopped myself before I told him that, instead I asked him a question "Are you surprised to see me"?

He swallowed, as if only just realizing now that his mouth was left hanging midair. He licked his lips, even though it was just a harmless act, probably on impulse, it still didn't help the sweet feeling it erupted inside of me "Uh... Yeah, I was just about to come to the club" he muttered out, and I just smiled, my hands still wrapped around his waist loosely, he was putting on a tank top and a grey sweatpants, it fit him loosely but not as loose as the one he'd wore when he passed the night at my place.

"Well I wasn't really busy today, and I didn't think coming to the club was necessary, since we'd barely have enough time together there, so I decided why don't I come instead, I haven't seen you in a while" I said, even though I'd seen him at the club, it didn't count because we didn't spend time together

"Ooh" he mumbled wordlessly as he stared at me, I could tell he didn't really know what to say next, and that on it's own was something I wanted to get out of the way, I wanted Nate to be able to talk to me freely, not that he didn't talk to me now, but there was always something holding him back.

The only time he ever talked to me like he didn't care was when he was pissed off about something, and there was something about Nate being pissed off that made me feel hot and aroused.

I quickly let my hands hold his, feeling the sweat and moist in them, already knowing the young man was nervous, I intertwined my hand with his before I pulled him with me to the couch, sitting on it and helping him sit too.

My eyes fell on the opened laptop on his table, I picked it up and saw the first line, quickly glancing at it, before I could read it out he quickly reached out and gripped it shutting it with a thud before dropping it beside him on the other side of the couch.

I looked at him with my brows cocked as I had already seen what he was searching on Google, I could see the red blush appearing on his cheek, covering his whole pale beautiful face, he lowered his eyes, his thick black lashes covering his eyes from me.

I smirked at him, finding it cute that he was actually searching for something like that. It wasn't porn or anything sexual but it was actually adorable. Which means he also wanted to make this work as much as I did, that was progress I guess. "When did you get off work"? I asked and he looked up at me, brown doe eyes that were already making parts of my body to awaken

"About an hour ago I guess" he muttered, quickly looking away from me, I sighed out as I used my hand to hold his chin and turned his head so he was looking at me, his eyes had gone a bit big as I stared at them.

"Why do you always do that"? I asked, and he opened his mouth a little, wanting to look away again, but my hand on his chin didn't let him, I could see the way his eyes darted and I knew he wasn't really comfortable with eye contact "You don't like looking at me in the eye, do I make you uncomfortable"? I asked and he quickly shook his head vigorously, before he sighed out.

"You don't make me uncomfortable, it's just..." He paused and his eyes looked at something behind me and then they landed back at me

"Just what"? I asked and he just shook his head, I know it must be hard for him, and overwhelming but if only he knew just how much I was also overwhelmed with all these. Most times I didn't even know what to do, I just went with my gut feeling and it always worked.

"Nothing" he muttered out, I let go off his chin and sighed out, I moved closer to him, slowly taking his hand in mine, he was playing and fiddling with them again.

They were warm, and I felt the way he tensed up, he always did that whenever I touched him, and I so badly wanted to know why. If he didn't like the fact that I touched him, all he had to do was tell me and I'd stop, it if there was a different kind of way he liked being touched, he could tell me and if it's something I could do, then I would do it.

"You can talk to me you know, I'm not going to be mad" I whispered to him gently, he looked at me with those lost eyes again, melting my heart and pushing away the heartless part of me deep inside the darkest place in my mind "Look I know, you don't really feel comfortable around me yet, I'm not dumb, I can read body language" I explained, watching as he almost wanted to say something but I shushed him, I needed to say this at least before he said something else that would make me change my mind. "And me being away for such a long time is not really helping, if anything it's actually making you drift away from me, and I'm not really okay with that" I see the way his eyes starts moving in panic "And I'm not blaming you for it, instead I think it's my fault, I need to create more time for you, for us..." I paused, watching as his face relaxed a bit "I'm not really good with this whole relationship thing, it's kind of new to me, but I wanna make it work, I want to make this work" I tell him

"Me too" he whispered softly, I just smiled as I start drawing small circles on the back of his hand I was holding

"Yeah I can see that" I chuckle out as his face turned red because he knew I was referring to his search history on his laptop, I chuckled at his cuteness

"I'm trying to take things slow with you, which is very new to me because I don't do slow, and I would love it if you helped me, actually if we helped each other" I explained shocked that I was the one saying all these things, I've never been one to let my feelings show, or show this much emotions. Infact I don't like talking much but I've found myself doing that since I met Nate.

He blinked at me, as if digesting each word I was saying, he lowered his head before looking back up again, his eyes had somehow lost it's warmth, he now looked a bit sad and doubtful, almost he was insecure "I'm sorry if I...." I quickly cut him off not even bothering to listen to what he was apologising for

I cupped his small face with my large hands, as I felt them melt in my hold, feeling perfect "Hey, look at me, you shouldn't apologise for anything, I'm not mad or disappointed, I just want us to work this out, I need us to establish communication with each other, I need you to be able to talk to me, tell me things you like and the ones you don't like and I'll do the same" I shushed him, watching as he swallowed heavily "Can you do that for me"? I asked and he watched me for a while before he nodded slowly, I felt the tension in my shoulders release themselves as I felt kind of free, at least I was able to make him understand me. "I know it's not going to be easy but I'm going to try and create time for us, for you and I'm going to start from this very moment" There was a lot I wanted to know and if I needed to do that, I had to make him comfortable around me enough to let me in.

I wanted to know why he always looked sacred and lost, and why he sometimes flinched or tensed up when I try to touch him, even before we started going out, I noticed the slight shift in his posture whenever I made a sudden move close to him, I needed to know why and I wanted to hear it from him.

"How was work"? He asked, and I smiled already feeling the way he was trying to make conversation, i stroked his cheek, seeing the way his eyes shifted a bit, relaxing.

"Busy" I mutttered, I didn't know if it was a wise idea to tell him about what was going on, I didn't want to drag him into the mafia life, it was way too dangerous for him, but what if his father's involvement had already done that. "I came here as soon as I left work, after going home for a shower of course" I chuckled out

He nodded not saying anything again, he looked so fragile whenever he did things like that. Simple gestures like that from him always left him looking too innocent that I almost felt bad for wanting him so badly, I didn't think I deserved someone like him.

"Do you want something to eat"? He asked again, this time his voice wasn't a whisper but much louder, I smiled again, surprise at my own self, I hardly ever did that before, but I'd been doing that too much lately, but always around Nate, he was the only one that could get me to smile.

"I do want something to eat" I mutttered as I watched the way his eyes lit up with curiosity, an idea suddenly popping into my head, I smirked this time, while his brows furrowed together "And it's not hard to make, actually you don't even need to leave your current position to get it for me" I added, watching as his eyes started swirling with questions, so many of them, I almost wanted to chuckle

"What is it"? He asked and I almost growled out at how innocent he sounded and looked, fuck, the things I would give to taint this sweet innocence in your eyes Nate.

I leaned in closer to him, letting my eyes fall on his lips as I stared at the pink plum flesh, wanting to bite it and taste the softness, he was still staring at me "You" I muttered huskily when I was so close that I could almost kiss him, I watched as his eye widened in realization and his face went completely red, he became flustered, he quickly lowered his eyes and looked down, I chuckled and felt him suck in a harsh breath I used my finger to raise his chin up, he was already chewing on his bottom lips, making me let out an inaudible growl, my words died in my throat as I quickly captured his lips into a sweet sensual kiss.

Slowly unlatching his lips from his teeth before I started sucking on it, I let my fingers trail their way up his exposed arms, as I felt him shudder, his lips parted halfway as he stopped kissing me back, I let my tongue to dive deep into his mouth.

God I can never get used to how sweet he tasted, I'd never had anyone like that, nothing could compare to how I felt whenever I kissed him, and it was still a shock to me that he could make me feel that way.

I slowly leaned in while he laid with his back on the couch, I was now lodged in between his legs that were slightly open for me.

Sweet me ☺️☺️😩

Brace yourself guys, something sweet in the next chapter