Spade and Nate both laid down on Nate's bed, legs tangled up in the sheets, with Spade's spread legs and Nate laying in between, Spade had a clear view of Nate's hair and the rest of his body. A good opportunity for him to play with Nate's hair, that was one of the many things he liked about Nate.

His hand were currently playing with strands of Nate's hair, neither of them sleeping, Spade had barely had a wink of sleep as another long night of him hard to the brim, while Nate kept brushing his ass on Spade's erection, making it even more painfully harder.

Nate on the other hand had slept quite peacefully, not even having any nightmares as he laid in Spade's warm and safe embrace. He had woken up when Spade had started playing with his hair, which was quite early, even for him. He couldn't make himself to go back to sleep as he was suddenly conscious of the fact that Spade was laying on his bed, and playing with his hair. Spade was actually fucking in his bed.

Not only that but Spade had touched him, Spade had made him cum, he didn't even know he was capable of doing that, getting pleasure like that from just a simple touch. He thought that man had ruin his chances of feeling such pleasures ever, but Spade had brought it to him, and he didn't even need to do anything to feel such pleasures.

He didn't need to feel pain, or regret, it wasn't forcef and neither did Spade make him feel disgusted with himself, it just happened. He could still feel the way his toes had curled when he was about to cum, now he finally understood what most of his college mates had meant when they always talked about coming from a blowjob or handjob.

It felt even better with Spade, but he was kind of sad he couldn't do the same for Spade, he couldn't make Spade feel that way, couldn't help him reach his own release, he'd seen Spade hard erection after he'd made him cum. He wished he knew what to do to make Spade too feel good. But he didn't even know if he was ready to go that far yet, he was even shocked he'd let Spade touch him.

He sighed out as he felt Spade's fingers weaved through his hair, almost making him shut his eyes as he felt a sweet sensation through his scalp, all the way to his fingers. "What's going on in that head"? Spade's deep voice made him to open his eyes, he could hear Spade's soft rhythmic heartbeat, it was one of the most soothing sounds he'd ever heard, that and Spade's voice.

"Nothing, I'm just.. thinking" he whispered out, he felt Spade's one hand move from his hair and trail sweet lines down his arm, making him use his eyes to follow that action, suddenly realizing that his body wasn't as ripped or muscular as Spade's, even his arm looked lanky, unlike Spade's chunky and muscle filled arms.

"What are you thinking about"? Spade asked, he could feel the way Nate relaxed in his arms, he liked how they were, something he never thought would happen.

He'd made Nate cum, he fucking made another man cum. And he fucking enjoyed every second of it, especially when Nate moaned his name, he felt like he could cum in his own pants hearing that sound. He'd never heard something so arousing and intense.

"You" Nate muttered making him stop slightly and look at Nate "us" Nate slowly added, Spade had enough time during the night to think about that and now he wanted to know just what Nate was thinking about them. He hummed, as if egging Nate to go on.

When the young man's didn't say anything, he decided to speak up "what about us"? He asked, he felt something sweet settle in the pit of his stomach, hearing himself use that word us, and in a romantic way.

"Nothing, I just...." Nate paused, Spade slowly adjusted himself, so Nate could see part of his face and he could see part of Nate's face, he knew the young man was doubtful about saying whatever it was he wanted to say. Nate slowly looked up at him, he swallowed slowly "why are you with me"? He blurted out, Spade's brows furrowed as he didn't really understand why Nate was asking that question.

Actually he may know why, but he didn't think Nate would ask, after all he'd made it clear to the young man that he liked him "I'm not asking because I'm not okay with us being together, being like this, I am totally fine with it and it makes me happy but I just wanna know" Nate rushed out quickly, as if he was scared Spade had misunderstood him "You could have chosen anyone, absolutely anyone at all, but you chose to be with me, a guy" he muttered, and now Spade finally understood why he was asking that question.

He looked away from Nate for a split second, his hands had stopped moving on Nate's skin and hair, he looked back into Nate's eyes, as he watched them swirl with curiousity. He sighed it deeply "does it bother you that you're a guy and I'm with you"? He asked the first question that came to his mind, he watched Nate's shake his head vigorously

"No, no, absolutely not, that's not what I mean, I'm just...." He paused again, finding it difficult to complete his sentence, or maybe he just didn't know what to say He lowered his eyes, his mood going down a little "You're a very attractive, handsome and rich guy, you run a mafia and all that, and I'm just... Well, I'm just me, there's nothing special about me, I...." Spade cut him off when he pulled his face up and crashed his lips on Nate's, his hand craddling Nate's head from behind, as he dug his fingers into Nate's hair.

His lips vigorously sucking on Nate's mouth, his tongue and everything he could get his mouth and tongue on. The kiss wasn't gentle or sweet, it was rough, eager and filled with need and something else, something stronger than what Nate could even understand.

He pulled away and looked down at Nate's swollen lips, almost as if it would draw blood, he felt satisfied with himself, he had made his point through that kiss, the insecurity he could see swirling in Nate's eyes before had disappeared, leaving just a tiny look of doubt there. "I want you to know that I don't fucking care about all that" his voice was hard and rough, it didn't have the usual warmth Nate was used to, but it wasn't angry or pissed off, and even though he was, he tried not to show it to Nate. "I know I was kind of a jerk to you when we first met, but that was before I knew how I felt about you, before I understood how you make me feel, but ever since I realized how you make me feel, it's all that has been on my mind" Spade explained, his voice and eyes were telling Nate everything he felt. "I like you Nate, and I've never felt that way for anyone before....." Spade paused, feeling as if he was saying too much, letting his feelings show like this, but the look in Nate's eyes, the soft, warm and innocent curious look in Nate's eyes, made him want to let it all out.

He'd never had someone to talk to like this, to let out his feelings and emotions, no one except Matteo and as much as he appreciated Matteo being a good listener, he didn't think he could compare talking to Nate to talking to Matteo. And the fact that he'd promised himself that he would make this work, and communication was the first thing that they needed if this was gonna work.

He felt Nate's warm hand slip into his on the bed by his side, he looked at it and it made him feel warm, feel safe as if Nate was assuring him that he didn't have to keep going if he didn't want to. He grasped Nate's hand tightly and clenched his jaw, before he sighed out. He looked back at Nate.

"I'm not good with talking about my feelings and emotions, but I just want you to know that I like you, I don't care if you're a guy or any of that shit..." He paused again "you make me happy" he finally let it out, feeling the weight in his chest being lifted, as if he could almost breath. He'd never felt that way with anyone, happiness, and that was one of the things his life lacked, but meeting Nate and being with him had changed that "You make me feel things I'd never felt before, you make me want to do better for you" he added, he slowly watched as a smile etched itself on Nate's face, the sight was heartwarming and relaxing, knowing he caused that to happen.

Without thinking, Nate pressed his lips on Spade's, in a gentle kiss. It wasn't an intense or desired filled kiss. It felt more soothing and even more sweet than the usual kisses Spade got from him. He didn't expect Nate to make that move, so he tensed for a second before he responded back to the kiss, letting his hand to slowly rest on Nate's lower back as he squeezed tightly, feeling the soft skin there.

Nate pulled away and looked at him "I like you too Spade" he whispered "and it's crazy because I've never liked anyone before, infact I never...." He paused too, his eyes looking at Spade as if searching for the words to use "I never thought I would ever like anyone, and especially not you, definitely not you" he said with a light chuckle, but Spade's face still remained the same as he peered down at Nate "liking you was something that just happened, and it scared me, maybe it still scares me" he muttered out, looking away from Spade and his eyes set on Spade's tattoo, as he stared at the piece of art work like it was actually interesting, but it was only just a tattoo. "But I want it" he whispered looking up at Spade, his eyes becoming a little different from the way Spade was used to seeing them, they held something in them, a small fire, but they looked bright and almost as if they would burn anyone who would try to snuff them out "I want you, even though the thought scares me half to death" he smiled lazily, Spade understood what he meant by it scaring Nate, it would scare anyone.

Asides the fact that they were both guys, and neither had ever even thought in their wildest dreams that they were attracted to men, there was also the part of Spade being a mafia Don. Even though Nate tried not to talk about it often, he knew it scared the young man, he wasn't a fool.

He placed his hand on Nate's face, gently stroking his cheek, they were fucking smooth, as if the young man never experienced puberty, or any of that shit. It kind of made him envious "You don't have to be scared, I will protect you, from anything and anyone who would want to hurt you, even me" he muttered.

Nate blinked, once and then twice, before he sighed out. Even though Nate was still scared, he didn't say anything else, as he just laid back down, with his head and back pressed against Spade's chest.

The warmth from Spade's body, coming onto his, he didn't need to pull the comforter over his body, the warmth coming from Spade's body was enough to make him feel warm and safe

Spade had gone back to playing with his hair, his mind diving deep into what he just talked about with Spade. He wished it were that easy to protect him, especially from demons that tormented his life, but Spade didn't even know half of what he's had to battle all his life.

Even though he knew Spade would try, he knew Spade couldn't possibly protect him for that other person, Spade would have to know what that other person did to be able to even protect him, and he didn't think he wanted that to happen. "Nate" Spade's voice broke him out if his thoughts, he liked the way Spade always said his name, he made it sound different from how everyone else said it.

He hummed realizing he hadn't answered Spade yet, the man was still drawing invincible lines on his arm, once in a while it made him shudder as he felt sweet sensation from Spade's fingers "Does he know"? He asked, Nate furrowed his brows for a second before he realized who Spade was talking about, he literally tensed up because that was one of the problems that was eating up at him.

He didn't think he ever wanted his father to know, the man was already disappointed in him enough. What would he think if he ever found out that Nate was involved with Spade, not just romantically but somehow sexually too.

Spade felt him freeze up, he knew there was something off about Greg, asides the things he knew about the man, he knew there was something about how he talked to Nate everytime he'd gone to his house, but back then he never really paid much attention to it.

But he wasn't a fool, even though he couldn't just drop the accusation like that without knowing or hearing it from Nate, he knew Greg didn't really act fatherly towards Nate, and it showed, especially in the way he talked to the young man.

Nate quickly shook his head "No" he whispered, his voice going lower than the way he'd been talking since to Spade "I didn't think you wanted me to tell him or anyone for that matter" he muttered out.

Spade didn't say anything to this, he just hummed, as he kept on playing with Nate's hair, twisting the strands in between his fingers. He knew something was up with Greg and his kids, but he would let Nate tell him on his own, if he ever felt like it.

Nate was still thinking too though, wondering why Spade was suddenly asking about his father. Did he perhaps still think of him as his father's puppet, he mentally shook his head, if Spade meant anything he'd been saying since they got together, then he didn't think Spade still thought of him as his father's pet.

Hmmm

I didn't even realize I'd written a chapter like this 😩😩