He lit the cigarette as he took a huge deep breath, inhaling a very big part of the smoke, before breathing out through his mouth, watching the clouds of smoke pass out and scatter into mist in the air.

He felt the hotness in his veins and the sweet smell of nicotine in the air, he knew he was probably already looking like shit by now, but he didn't care how he looked, what was the point anyway? There was absolutely no reason for him to try and look better.

He felt even worse than he looked, he felt dead, lost and so fucking aimless. He didn't even really know if he was living or just surviving at this point

His life was pretty boring and lonely before he met Nate, but it was worse now. Now he was miserable, heart broken and worst of all, he still couldn't admit that he hated Nate.

He can never hate the young man even if he tried, and that was even worse than the heartbreak he was feeling. He ran his hands down his face, looking around his office once more.

The bottles of whiskey on his wine cupboard were all finished, he'd drank them within two days, and as surprising at it sounded, it still didn't fill the void inside of him.

Instead it only grew bigger and deeper, and more empty, like a dark abyss of endlessness, that didn't have any meaning. Actually his life didn't have any meaning now.

Even if mystery man decided to attack him now, he was fucking vulnerable and at his almost lowest, any blow delivered to him now would hit close to home. He didn't have any fight in him left.

He clenched his jaw tight, Nate had finally stopped calling him, more like he'd blocked the young man, but that didn't block the feeling in his heart for Nate

He wanted to scream out, to groan and growl out in frustration, but what was the point? It wouldn't change anything.

He still hadn't been to his house, the mansion was now where he stayed all the time. It was funny how three weeks ago, he easily referred to his house as home, but now it was back to being just a house to him.

He took another puff of the cigarette and let out the smoke, watching it in the air before his door pushed open and Matteo walked in, the blonde studied him for a good second before he sat down on the couch

He didn't say anything, he just watched as Spade smoked away, and Spade was grateful to him for not saying anything, he didn't think he was in the mood to talk, infact he wasn't even in the mood to do anything recently.

He could tell Matteo wanted to say something but was still skeptical about it, before he would have asked, but now he didn't really want to know, because knowing would lead to him talking and he didn't want that.

Instead he just focused on his smoking, but his mind had other plans as it drifted to the day Nate had made him swear, that he'd never smoke again.

It felt like ages ago, he had not only swore but he promised that he'd never touch that murder stick, as Nate had called it. He missed the young man, he clenched his jaw at this thoughts, he shouldn't be thinking about this for Nate.

For Christ's sake the young man betrayed him, that was the worst thing you could do to him, and Nate, the man he loved betrayed him. He trusted Nate with his life, something he'd never done before, except with Matteo.

He had completely forgotten about the blonde, only now did he turn to look at Matteo, noticing the rough look he was also sporting, his hair was rumpled and his eyes had small tiny black bags under them, and his beards, they were growing and he didn't bother to shave them.

Spade furrowed his brows, something had changed in Matteo in the past month, but he didn't know what, he knew he had his own problem but that didn't make him completely oblivious to his brother's current state He was about to open his mouth and speak when a knock on the door interrupted him, making him look at Matteo first, who in turn looked at him quizzically, before they both looked at the door, hearing the knock again

"Come in" he muttered, watching as the door creaked open and Bernie walked in, but behind him was someone else, small statue and it seemed like the person was trying to hide behind Bernie but he'd already seen her

He clenched his jaw as he watched her squirm and move even further into Bernie's back "Boss" Bernie called out and his eyes moved to the man in front of him "Someone's here to see you" he muttered before he stepped out of the way, letting both Matteo and Spade to see the person behind him.

She looked up from the ground and her eyes landed on Matteo first who seemed a little bit surprised at seeing her here, he'd never met her before, but he'd heard about her from Nate and he'd sent someone to track her on Spade's orders.

Her eyes gently moved from Matteo and landed on Spade who was glaring hard at her, his jaws clenched and his hand balled into a fist, what the hell was she doing here

Matteo noticed Spade's glare at the girl who seemed to be a little squirmy under Spade's gaze, before he looked at Bernie "You can go Bernie" Matteo muttered out because he knew whatever they would talk about here, would definitely not be good, and it would be even bad if Bernie was a witness to it

He didn't know why she was here but it wouldn't end well, with the way Spade was staring at her, thank God he was here.

"What are you doing here"? Spade spat with venom as she flinched slightly, before she looked up at him again.

He was angry, he was more than angry, he was pissed, but most of all he was curious, curious to know why she would show up here of all places.

He hoped it wasn't Nate who asked her to come here, because he picked the wrong fucking person to beg on his behalf "I...." She paused and looked at Matteo before her eyes found Spade's again "I came to talk to you" she whispered out and he wanted to scoff at how ridiculous she sounded, of course he already knew she was here to talk to him, but about what

"If this is about your brother, I don't wanna hear it, get out" he gritted out, watching as she frowned for a second before she sighed out

"Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot but I came here because Nate asked me to, he said if I needed anything and I couldn't reach him, I should come to you" she rushed out, her voice coming out more certain and stronger

"I don't care what he told you, but I'm telling you now, get out while you still can, before I do something I'm going to regret" Spade gritted out before he turned to Matteo, his eyes already telling the blonde what he meant

This was another family of Matteo and he wouldn't want to be responsible for anything happening to her while Matteo was here "Get her out of here before I get back" he ordered to Matteo before he walked out of the office, she turned to look at him and watched him leave, leaving just herself and Matteo in the office.

She scoffed lightly before she turned around and looked at Matteo, the blonde was already looking at her, almost as if studying her, before he spoke up "You heard him, you should leave" Matteo muttered out, further causing her to raise her brows at him and give him a very ridiculous look.

"I should have known coming here would be a waste of time, you're all are the same thing" she spat before she walked out of the office, banging the door loud and hard.

Matteo just sighed out, only now did he register what she said right before Spade had walked out of the office, about not being able to reach Nate.

He sprang up and rushed out of Spade's office, passing through the corridor and through the club dancefloor, he bypassed different people, bumping into a few before he got out of the club.

He was lucky she hadn't left yet as he stopped her "wait" he yelled, she turned around and looked at him as he jogged towards where she was, stopping in front of her, she peered up at him. "What do you mean not being able to reach Nate"? He asked and she scrunched her nose up, just like Nate usually does whenever he was confused about something. "You said something about you coming to Spade because you couldn't reach Nate, what does that mean"? He asked, and she sighed out, chewing on her bottom lip, making it extra red, just as red as Nate's

"About a month ago, Nate had come to see me with Spade, I wasn't really...." She paused looking around "I wasn't really accepting of his relationship with Spade, so things didn't really end on a good note between the both of us, but he'd told me something before he left" she paused again, her eyes looking directly into Matteo's blue ones "he said if I ever need anything, I should reach out to him, and in the case that he wasn't available, that I could reach out to Spade instead"

Matteo furrowed his brows, still not understanding where this whole thing was going "For the last four days, I haven't been able to reach Nate, I've called him and I've texted but nothing, so today I decided to come see him personally, but he wasn't at home, his door was locked, i couldn't go to his office because of my father, but I called his secretary from a payphone and she told me she hadn't seen him in four days" she paused, her voice was such softer, even her face was much calmer and almost somber "so I decided to come here, I think Nate's missing" she finished.

*****

Spade has been walking around the club, doing rounds on each section of the club, something he rarely ever does, but he skipped the parts Nate had decided to redevelop, because he knew if he went there, he would be over flooded with memories, memories he'd been trying to bury down since the day he walked out on Nate.

He swallowed as he turned the corner, wanting to go back to his office, it'd been almost an hour since he walked out on Matteo and Nate's sister in his office, and if his calculations were right, she shouldn't be there anymore.

Seeing her made him remember Nate, they didn't look alike, like most siblings would, but there was still a few features both of them shared that made Spade almost see Nate in her, or maybe it was just his mind fucking with him, and the fact that he'd been trying to lie to himself that he didn't miss Nate, when in fact he missed the young man so much.

He sighed out and clenched his jaw, why did she even show up all of a sudden, he was doing a really good job at forgetting about Nate and anything that has to do with him, but seeing his sister shook all that, seeing her reminded him of how he'd met the young man.

He rounded the last turn and soon walked on the corridor where his office was located, he stopped in front of the door and pushed it open, stepping inside

He felt his hands ball themselves into a fist beside him as he saw Matteo and the girl sitting on his couch He glared at the blonde, gritting his teeth.

"I thought I asked you to leave, what are you still doing here"? He asked before turning his attention on Matteo "what the fuck is she still doing here"? He asked and the blonde sighed out before he got up and walked towards Spade.

"Gio, I know you're not going to like this, but you have to listen to what she has to say" Matteo started, making Spade to frown at him, as his eyes grew hard with each stare

"You must be kidding me" he rasped out frustratedly, running his hands through his hair "you want me to listen to her"? He asked and that's when Su decided to speak up

"Look I know you don't like me, and you don't wanna be here just as much as I don't want to be here, but you have to hear me out" she rushed out, he just shifted his attention from Matteo to her

He scoffed out "I don't have to listen to you, whatever you have to say doesn't fucking concern me, anything that has to do with Nate, is no longer my concern" he spat at her, feeling himself slipping from cool to uncontrollable, he tried to breathe to calm himself down, because if he didn't, then he'd do something he'd regret.

"He told me what happened and I know you feel betrayed but i want you to know that whatever Nate did, he didn't mean to, especially if it had to do with my father, the man must have threatened him with something, and that something being me" she rushed out, watching as Spade frowned before shaking his head and turning away from her for a split second

"I don't care about all that..." Matteo's was quick to cut him off

"Gio.." before he could get any words out, Spade glared at him hard.

"Don't Matteo, I don't care what she told that has you soliciting for her, but I want her out of my office now, else I'm going to kill her" he snapped

This made Matteo to finally snap as he gritted his teeth and growled out, stepping in front of Spade. "Look Gio, I've had enough of your shit" Spade's eyes widened at this as he opened his mouth to speak but Matteo stopped him "I've been listening to you and watching you do whatever you want for the past two weeks, if not all my life, and I get that Nate hurt you and betrayed you, but what he did, didn't just affect you alone, you of all people should know it got to me too, so I'm going to ask you to listen to me for once and hear what she has to say" Matteo snapped, watching as Spade looked at him, clenching his jaw hard, and narrowing his eyes at the blonde, before he sighed out and looked at the girl on the couch

"You have five minutes" he grunted out before he shoved his hands in his pocket and watched her, she looked confused for a while, as if waiting for him to sit down, but when he didn't, she sighed out

He didn't know what about the way Matteo spoke, but it made him realize something, that he'd been selfish since the whole Nate thing, only thinking about himself, completely forgetting that the blonde was still no doubt Nate's brother, and if anyone was affected the most by his betrayal, it would be Matteo.

But he never once showed it, and Spade suddenly felt bad that he kept dumping his garbage on Matteo, something he'd never done before, well except after Nate showed up in his life.

He clenched his jaw as he watched Nate's sister open her mouth. "Nate's missing"

Get your tissues guys, there's going to be a long story at the next chapter telling us everything Nate's been through 😩😩