Spade sat watching the beautiful man he had come to love with his very existence, if need be he was ready to die for Nate, actually the night he'd gone after Sullivan, he'd hoped he'd die so he could at least see Nate and talk with him one last time, but death didn't come that easy for him, especially for him.

It had been approximately one month since Nate was shot and he slipped into coma, one month that Spade had to live without Nate, a very sour and bad experience for him.

He'd barely left his side, he even stopped working, Matteo handled the mafia while he never left Nate's side, he didn't want to miss the day when Nate would wake up, although he was beginning to lose hope of that ever happening, even though the doctors had said Nate was responding to treatment and was close to waking up, he didn't see any improvement.

It was the sane thing everyday and the beeping sound of the machine Nate was hooked on was getting on his nerve, some days he wanted to have at it and smash it to pieces, and then other times he'd just sit there watching it, waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever happened.

He sighed out as he clutched onto Nate's hand, he brought it up to his lips as he kissed it gently, putting his fingers close to his lips, he blew air on it "Baby, it's been a month now" he clenched his jaw and looked up at Nate's face, he looked like he was sleeping, but his sleep was taking longer than Spade expected "The doctors said you're a fighter and you're fighting to get back to me" he whispered with a small sad smile

He stroked the back of Nate's hand as he watched him "I'm waiting for you babe, day in, day out, I'm waiting for you to come back to me" he whispered, ye shut his eyes and swallowed hard, pushing back the lump in his throat, even his eyes were stinging with unshed tears. He sighed out and lowered his head, placing it on Nate's hand "I miss you" he muttered out shakily.

He shut his eyes tight, the only thing he could do now was bask in the memories he had shared with Nate, all the times they spent together, he wished he could take time back, he never would have walked out on Nate that day, he would have just stayed, push his anger away and listen to him.

There hadn't been a day where he didn't regret his actions, Salvatore was still locked up in his basement, he'd hope Nate would wake up sooner, so he could be the one to end the motherfucker's life.

"Didn't you go home"? He heard her voice, making him look up, meeting eyes with Nate's sister who stood at the door of the ward, she was putting on a white floral gown, with yellow flowers designs on it.

She'd grown her hair back over the past month since Nate had been in the hospital, she was still staying at Spade's place, he insisted because he didn't want the house to be empty, he still hadn't been able to go there since then.

He feared the memories there would overwhelm him and he'd have a break down. "Hey" he rasped out as she just gave him a pointed look, before she advanced towards him close to the bed.

"I thought I asked you to go home, get some rest, a nice shower and change of clothes"? She asked ignoring him as she stopped in front of him.

He just sighed out "I can't go home or even rest, not while he's like this" he whispered, letting his eyes rest on Nate's face, she sighed out and sat down on the other chair beside Spade, she placed her hand on his thighs, squeezing it gently

"You can't keep going like this, you've barely had four hours of sleep in a day, you don't go home, and even if you do, you don't spend more than 5 minutes there" she mutttered gently "Staying here is not going to wake him up, go home and get a good shower and a change of clothes, plus if he does wake up, I don't think he's going to want to see you like this" she said, looking him over.

He didn't really care about that, he just didn't want to leave Nate's side, he'd been by his side for the past one month, and he wasn't really complaining, but Su was right, he looked too homeless.

He hadn't shaved in a while, and his hair had grown wild and needed good triming. He looked at Nate before he looked at Su again "Fine, I'll go take a good bath, change of clothes..." She cut him off

"And cut your hair too, you look like a cave man" she snickered causing him to scoff lightly as he gave her a small almost invincible smile

They weren't best of friends but they'd gotten close over the past one month through their love for the man laying on the bed.

He got up slowly, giving Nate on long look before he picked up his jacket and car keys, he looked at Su "do you need anything"? He asked and she just shook her head.

He saw the bag she'd brought close to the bed, she probably had everything she needed there. He leaned in closer to Nate and kissed his forehead before he walked out of the ward and headed for his car.

Su watched Nate walk out of the room before her eyes landed on Nate, she smiled softly at his sleeping form.

It had been a month since she got that call from Matteo that he was shot, and he's been unconscious since then. She wasn't going to lie that she didn't miss him, and unlike the others she was optimistic with him waking up, she knew he'd wake up, if there was anything she knew about Nate was the fact that he was stronger than anyone gave him credit for, even stronger than her.

And she knew he was fighting tooth and nail to come back to them, she placed her warm hand on his as she felt his own warm too, contrary to him being unconscious for that long, he was very warm "Hey little brother" she whispered out "I miss you, we all miss you" she added, gently squeezing on his hand. "We're waiting for you to wake up, Spade is waiting for you to wake up, he's been by your bedside since you went under" she explained, almost as if he could hear.

The doctors had told them that things like that gave the patient a higher fighting chance, according to the doctor, he may be unconscious but he could hear them. "You know he blames himself for what happened, he's been dying of guilt, he thinks he could have some how prevented what happened" she sighed out, her eyes resting on the monitor making the beeping sound.

"We need you to wake up, I need you to wake up, Matteo needs you to wake up, Spade needs you to wake up, it's boring out here without you" she whispered, before she kissed his hand, just like Spade had done.

It wasn't much but she felt it, his finger tightened around hers, causing her eyes to widen as she looked at him in shock, her eyes moved to the monitor again and it was still the same.

But his hands moved again, making her gasp out as she dashed out of the room.

Nate could hear everything they'd been saying, but he couldn't respond to anyone, he'd tried so many times to talk to them, Su, Spade and even Matteo. Especially when Matteo had taken it upon himself to tell unconscious Nate about his little emotional rollercoaster with Stefano

If he wasn't unconscious at that time, he would have made fun of the blonde and teased him about it, but it was harder than he thought waking up.

Everyday someone sat on his bedside talking to him, he could hear but he couldn't respond to any of them. Not until now that he finally moved, he finally made a move.

He opened his eyes slowly and closed it back immediately, the white lights were blinding, he groaned as he tried to move the rest of his body but it was too heavy, maybe lying down on the bed for the past one month would do that to you.

He remembered everything that happened, he opened his eyes again and saw the ceiling, white and bright, he had to turn his head to the side so he wouldn't be completely blinded.

He remembered how he had walked out of Salvatore's house freely at last, but it was short lived, because it all happened in a slip second, but he felt the excruciating pain on his stomach and then blood, someone had shot him.

While he was unconscious he'd tried so many times to talk to them, to react to something, to at least give them hope that he could hear them and was fighting to come back, but it wasn't easy.

Well now he was finally awake, and his sister rushed back into the ward with a doctor trailing behind her, she gasped as she saw him, rushing towards him, she found herself on him, causing him to groan out as he grimaced before he chuckled and wrapped his hands around her "Hey" he whispered, she pulled back and he could see the tears in her eyes, before she buried her head in his chest and he felt the wetness, she was crying, sobbing softly, he just rubbed her back "You're okay" he muttered as he soothed her.

Spade had just gotten out of the shower when he got the call, the call he'd been waiting for for the past one month. Nate was finally awake and the doctors had cleared him of any relapses from the wound.

He felt elated, he was happy, he felt like every nerve inside his body could finally move free and he could finally breath

Which was why he didn't waste anytime as he drove at high speed towards the hospital, he didn't care if Nate was still angry at him, he just wanted to see him, to hug him and to kiss those lips.

Which was why when he entered into the hospital, he didn't waste a second as he rushed towards Nate's ward, he took long and heavy strides towards him and without even thinking it through or paying any mind to Su and Matteo who were already in the ward, he walked towards the young man's bed.

Nate had his eyes on him and his face was blank but Spade didn't care, he just lowered his form and cupped Nate's cheek before his lips rested on Nate's lips, he closed his eyes as he felt the heaviness in his heart reduce a notch, causing him to sigh out deeply.

He moved his lips gently against Nate's, he wasn't even fighting for dominance or anything of that sort, he just wanted to taste the sweetness he'd missed.

He pulled back and rested his forehead on Nate's forehead, he was panting hard as peered into those brown eyes he had missed seeing, and even though Nate's look wasn't really one of someone who was ecstatic to see him, he didn't care, having Nate alone in front of him and awake, was enough for him "I missed you so much"the whispered out, Nate didn't say it back and he didn't respond to Spade as he just sighed out.

A throat clearing beside them made Spade to turn around and look at the person, of course it was Matteo. "Did you forget we were here? I almost thought you were going to rip off his clothes and fuck him in front of us" Matteo said, causing Su to start laughing as Nate blushed, he didn't even know he was blushing, it was something that happened on instinct, Spade just rolled his eyes at Matteo

He turned around and faced Nate back, but this time the young man actually did something, he slowly pulled his hand up as he pried Spade's hands off his cheek, turning his head sideways away from Spade.

The air between them had gone from smooth it was a second ago when they kissed, to tense and awkward. Even Matteo and Su could feel it. Su was the first to get up "Let me go get you something to eat, it's been exhausting watching you eat and drink through that God awful tube for one month" she joked, causing Nate to smile.

She started walking towards the door but Matteo was still sitting down, the blonde was acting dumb and it was actually making Spade's head to ache "Matteo, I didn't bring a car, so I was thinking you would drop me off at home" she mutttered and only now did his brows raise in realization as he got up quickly

"Right, uhm... I'll see you later Nate" he muttered out before he followed right behind Su, leaving a very awkward atmosphere behind

The epilogue is next 😩😩

The book is finally almost over

Sorry for the limited updates, my Wattpad or my phone idk, have been acting up 😩😩