You'd think taking a shower would be easy, yes of course it was as easy as brushing your teeth but not when a handsome and very attractive man was waiting patiently for you in the living room That was exactly how Nate felt while trying to shower and get a change of clothes.

His mind couldn't focus on the shower he was taking, it was supposed to be a relaxing thing for him but the closer he got to finishing in the bathroom the more nervous he got, and the more stiff his shoulders and neck became

He swallowed as he looked himself over in the mirror in his room, looking at his outfit and looking for anything out of place, he had a hard time picking his outfit as he was in a dilemma trying to decide if this was a formal meeting or a casual one.

He settled for formal as he picked out a light blue suit, almost white, with a white buttoned up shirt inside, he didn't pick a tie so it wouldn't be too formal and the buttons to his suit jacket was undone.

He didn't bother combing his hair, he just let it fly free. He straightened out the jacket and finally letting out a deep breath he decided it was time for him to go outside and meet Spade, he didn't know how long he'd been in his room but he knew it was a long time, and if Spade wasn't so patient he'd have stormed in here to drag his ass out.

He walked towards his bedroom door, and stopped in front of it, suddenly realizing it's easier said for him to walk out of the bedroom than done, he was already even sweating and if he didn't walk out of the room now he'd soon soil his shirt, even his forehead was beginning to gather droplets of sweat.

He flexed his fingers trying to push off the anxiety through his fingers but the more he did that, the more he got cold feet

He wished he could just lock himself in the bedroom and not go out, ignoring Spade out in the living room, but that wasn't even an option at the moment. The man practically owned the whole building, he can't hide from him forever, and it's not like he's going to kill Nate or bite him.

They would just drive along to the club, talk a little, come to a decision on when he'll be chanced to work for Spade, what kind of work he'd be doing for the man and then he'll be on his way, it's very easy. Except, it's not that easy.

Not with him dying of anxiety and nervousness. He was literally both things in flesh and blood.

His eyes rested on the door knob and he finally summoned courage, if he could face his father then Spade was nothing that he couldn't face, and Spade was nowhere close to his father when it comes to being a brute to him.

At least Spade only threatened him, his father brought him to doorstep of death countless times. Spade just wanted to talk with him and nothing more. He gave himself a good pep talk, this was the same man he was out with Saturday evening alone, why was he suddenly so paranoid.

Not that he was scared of him or anything, he was just fucking nervous, the jittery feeling he always got around him and the way he was easily flustered when Spade was getting too close to him Those were reactions he didn't expect himself to be feeling, instead the exact opposite was what he should be feeling, fear and panic.

Without stopping to think it through he pulled open the door and stepped out of his room, as if getting a wake up call, Spade also turned his head around from the couch, his mouth hung low as he watched Nate walked to the front of the couch.

He didn't expect him to put on a suit again, but he couldn't complain, the suit looked very neat and hot on Nate's body. A perfect fit and the light blue color matched the pale on his skin, making it more brighter.

"You're dressed" he stated running his eyes through Nate's body, making the young man feel self conscious under his sharp gaze, he tried to make his squirming a little subtle in front of Spade

"Yeah, I figured why wait, when we could just go and get it over with, besides I don't wanna waste your time here" he rushed out, clenching his hands into a fist, he could feel his fingers dig deep into his moist palm

Spade stood up, his tall frame creating a small shadow over Nate's small one "I already told you, I'm not busy for the next hour or so, and plus you need to rest, you've had a long day"

Nate just shook his head, disagreeing with Spade. "No, it's fine, after taking a shower I realized it'll he better to get this out of the way"

Spade clenched his jaw, making the teeth on the side flex themselves as they bobbed in and out slightly. "Okay, if you say so" he told him "But you know it's not a meeting right and you don't have to put on a suit"?

He mused with an 'o' like a clueless bunny, looking himself over again, suddenly feeling a little bit embarrassed that he had over dressed. Spade wanted to smile at the pinkish red blush on his cheek, as he lowered his head, like a kid caught stealing candy. "I can go change if this is too much" he rushed out in a mumbled and Spade just shook his head.

"No it's totally fine, I'm not saying it's not appropriate, I'm just saying I thought you'd want to put on something casual so you'd feel comfortable"

He looked at his outfit again, he kind of felt comfortable in them but truth be told he felt more comfortable In casual clothes than he'd ever feel in formal, the only reason he somehow felt comfortable wearing formal clothes was because he wore it everytime.

Spade was still watching him. He suddenly peeled off the suit jacket and discarded of it, leaving him in just the white buttoned up long sleeve shirt Spade creased his brows in curiosity as he watched him, waiting for what he'd do next.

He started undoing the buttons on the sleeves of the shirt, one hand at a time. He started folding them up, stopping them just above his elbow, he finished both sleeves and looked up at Spade.

His eyes somehow seeking for permission from Spade's grey eyes. Spade narrowed his eyes at him, impressed by how quick he could change his whole appearance. He slowly took steps towards Nate, stopping in front of him, he raised his hand up, not missing the way Nate flinched slightly.

"Can I"? He asked and the younger man's eyes moved from his hand to his face, the conflict swirling in his brown orbs, way different from the calm look he'd been sporting since Spade had been trying to get through to him

He nodded and watched Spade with keen interest, seeing what he was about to do.

He took his other hand and slowly, afraid he'd scare Nate away, he moved them to Nate's chest, as he took off the first button on his shirt, then the second.

Nate could feel his heart hammer with so much force, he was beginning to beg his heart to stop beating like that With Spade's eyes and hands so close to his chest, he was afraid the man would actually see and hear the way his heart was beating wildly and fast.

He was discreetly letting out labour breath, his hand beside him were itching to snatch up and grab his chest to stop his racing heart. His whole body was spiralling out of control as he watched Spade work his button

Why did he even nod his head without knowing what Spade wanted to do. He could feel every nerve in his body freeze up, even his lungs wanted to stop working but if they did, he'd be dead in seconds

Spade looked down at him, his eyes settling on his hair, he wanted nothing more than to push his fingers through inside those brown locks and ruffle them, changing the way they looked.

But instead he forced his hands back down on his side, he quickly shoved them into his pockets, because he didn't know if they'd developed a mind of their own. Nate swallowed hard, making Spade to take a sharp gaze at his Adam's apple, the small pointy part of his body suddenly looking so interesting that he didn't wanna look away.

With his eyes still on Nate's Adam's apple he took two steps back, giving them the needed space, but not before he inhaled a large deep breath, taking in Nate's sweet scent, he didn't know if this scent he always got from Nate was from his hair shampoo or his cologne. But he liked it, he liked it so much that he made a mental note to find it in any store and get it.

"Shall we"? He asked and Nate just nodded wordlessly, his throat had ran dry, and his whole body was set on fire, even he could feel the hotness of his face, he didn't know if the hotness he was feeling was from Spade's closeness a while ago, or from the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The feeling that was pulling him towards Spade, the one that was screaming in his mind to run away from Spade and never look back, the same one that was making him taste the sweetness of what it's like to be happy, to be fascinated by someone, to want someone.

It was all confusing to him. He so badly wanted to understand it, to know what it meant to feel this way for someone. The heavy thumping of his heart, the sweet tingles in his stomach, the drying up of his throat, the speechlessness and most of all the need and want for Spade.

****

Spade's car came to an abrupt stop in front of the familiar building, neon purple lights shinning through the sign outside, with it's name boldly written there.

Nate had somehow missed coming here, it had been a while, almost a month since he'd stepped foot in this place. But he didn't forget how it looked like.

The last time he came here, Spade had totally ignored him, and that was the beginning of more of the whirlwind of confusion for him. It was after he'd left this place that he saw Spade at the party where he shot someone. He still wouldn't forget that, even if he forgot everything, that image would be in the depth of his memory for a long time.

Spade turned to look at him, seeing as he swallowed looking at the sign with conflicted eyes, Spade knew he wouldn't be here if not for him, and he wanted to make him as comfortable as he can get while being here.

"You ready" his deep voice rumbled through the walls of the car, making Nate's eyes to fall on him, the doubt and slight insecurities dancing inside his eyes. Spade wanted to reach out and hold his hand, tell him it would be okay and him being here now wouldn't be like the other times, but he didn't know how far they'd come, even though he had gotten through to him a couple of times, they still made this trip, completely silent to each other

His eyes moved to Nate's chest and he could see the pale skin there peeking out from his shirt, he did that, almost feeling proud of himself, he looked back up at him. "Yeah" Nate whispered, wishing he could be more bold and loud, just like he sometimes was in the office with clients as business partners

But Spade was nothing like any of his business partners or clients, he was way different. His aura was quite stronger and dominating than most people he'd worked with.

Spade was the first to undo his seatbelt, he stepped out and Nate let out a deep breath preparing himself, before undoing his seatbelt and stepping out too.

The evening breeze blew right by, flying his hair sideways, a few strands getting lost in his eyes as he swatted them away. He felt it chilling inside his body, it was kind of refreshing.

The streets were quiet, even though it wasn't dark out, it was just past 5. But he kind of liked that Spade's club was in a very high class side of New York, it wasn't like most loud, crowded and run down clubs.

Even from the designs and security guys outside, you'd know it's not a club for just anyone. And now he was gonna be working here soon. Thinking about it now he felt his nerves resurfacing again, even though he didn't know what he'd be doing here, it did no good to ease off the nerves in his body. The voice in the back of his head telling him he'd screw it up.

He looked at Spade again, walking over to him, they both stood side by side before Spade took the first step towards the entrance of the club.

Wordlessly, Nate followed behind him, trying to march his strides, contrary to what happened the night at the rugby game, where he was stepping on wherever Spade's feet took off, he was walking side by side with him.

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