༻ Livia ༺

Sarem hadn't heard from Livia in weeks. It seemed as though she had truly given up on her advances, and this brought Sarem a feeling of peace. Like he had finished writing the last chapter of a book and could finally move on to another story. A new girl. A new fantasy. He took a drag of his cigarette, rolling his head back as he exhaled. A part of himself missed Livia and the drama that came with her. As a professor, you notice these things. The changes in behaviour, friend groups, who is well-liked, who isn't. He had picked up on Livia's self-isolation and found it endearing. Watching her push away her friends just to focus all her affections on to him. It was exhilarating. He grinned to himself smugly as his mind wandered, swimming through memories of the beautiful student in her lingerie, her adoring doe-eyed gaze, the lengths she'd go to sexually satisfy him. To think that such a timid student could be reduced to a needy whore. The shy brunettes were his favourite, but he'd also settle for a blonde or red head if the opportunity provided itself.

But then, Livia got clingy - as they all do. The inevitable. They want a relationship. Confirmation that his love for them transcends his perfect career, which obviously would never happen. It's a mood-killer. Livia, however, was especially forward. Frequent phone calls, love letters, gifts. The lovebombing part was usually his role to play but as time went on, Livia took the lead in the relationship. She was no longer the blushing virgin eager to please her teacher. She was a flower mantis, bewitching like tender petals, but voracious in her love for him. He knew he had made the right choice ending things with her, even if it did go down messily.

Sarem flicked over his graded paperwork, eyes narrowing in on Livia's assignments. Her writing was morbid. Disturbed. Not something he expected out of a student like her. Many of the girls in his class wrote horror, but Livia's stories would linger on his mind for days, following him around like had unleashed a curse upon himself. Each page was a knife twisting in his stomach. Something was wrong with her. Something deep and internal. He theorised about her early life often, wondering if she got molested as a child or witnessed a loved one kill themselves. He understood these were outlandish assumptions but he had seen the empty look in her eye when she caught him sleeping with that other girl. An absence of light. He was supposed to report any concerning writing to the counsellor but why would he do that? Trauma was the secret ingredient to manipulation. The spice of life. He knew that even an ounce of attention from an older male like himself would render Livia soft putty in his hands.

Later on that very week, as Sarem was typing on his computer and sifting through paperwork, he had heard an all-too-familiar knock at his office door. That little rhythmic tap that he had listened for time and time again. Hearing it was once a blessing, now it felt foreboding and sinister, like the bells of hell were beckoning him. He frowned, shoulders tensing as his cool, blue eyes narrowed toward the door. "Come in, Livia."

The door opened slowly. Hesitating. This was not the same Livia that had wildly rammed herself against the door before nor was it same Livia had stood over the other student, threatening to bludgeon her head in with a paperweight. Livia stood idly by the door, hands fidgeting uncomfortably, gaze averted, cheeks flushed. It was as though he were staring into a portal of the past. This was the self-conscious brunette he had fantasied about all those nights ago. The quiet student who would blush and giggle nervously whenever his eyes met hers. Sarem's stern expression softened at this nostalgic feeling.

"I know- I know you don't wish to see me." Livia started, head still turned away from him. "I just... I wanted to apologise... for how I acted before. I was in a erratic and emotional state and I deeply regret it."

Sarem sighed then smiled at her in the same sweet and easy going way he used to back before their midnight affairs.

"It's fine, Livia. There's no need to apologise. I should have been more transparent about the nature of our relationship. And don't worry about the other girl. I managed to do some convincing so she won't go to the police. I hope you've been well in the meantime. I still intend on giving you a good report so if you're anxious about that, don't be."

"Thank you, but that's not it. I... I know you don't care for me in the same way I cared for you. I understand that now and I've been reflecting on it. Our relationship. It could never become reality. I got too carried away. I'm sorry for realising this so late."

"Once again, there's no need for you to apologise. I'm glad you understand things now. In another life, I would have loved to pursue a relationship with you but that simply can't be. Our dynamic is looked down upon by society. We'd be setting ourselves up for endless judgement. I'd have no job, you'd be regarded as, well, excuse my French but a 'whore.' Even if I don't think that's the case. Ending things here is our best option. But, for what it's worth, I had a tremendous time with you. I don't think anyone will ever meet the same standards you are."

"Sarem, you don't need to suck up to me. I'm not going to tell anyone about our relationship whether you give me a good recommendation or not. But I do have one request."

"Of course. What do you have in mind? I can't make any promises but I'll do my absolute best to make things right with you."

"I want... one more night. With you."

"Livia-"

"Please. I'm not asking for much. We can be discreet about it. I just don't want my embarrassing outburst to be what I remember when I think of the end of our relationship. I want to end things on a good note. One last night is all I ask. And then we can pretend we're strangers. You will never see me again. I'll just be another one of your students."

A moment of silence held in the air as Sarem leaned back and juggled the thought in his mind. Livia watched his thinking process, immersed in every detail of his posture: the way his thick eyebrows furrowed, his large hands tapping against the edge of his desk, his lips pressing together as though tasting the idea on his tongue. Another sigh left Sarem's mouth. He repositioned himself, eyes locked on to his former student.

"You'll never just be another one of my students, Liv." He said softly. "Alright, fine. 10pm tonight, meet me at the Scarlet Square Hotel, at the entrance. Be subtle and don't be late. I can't afford to be waiting around the lobby without looking suspicious."

"Thank you, Sarem. I'll make sure it's a night to remember." Livia promised, a relieved and satisfied smile blossoming across her face.