Song ~ Je te laisserai des mots - Patrick Watson



It's about 12:00 at night when I'm craving some candy.

I know for a fact Diovanna has a secret stash in her room, I bought it with her.

If I steal a little bit she won't notice right?

She will be asleep and I can tiptoe and get it then get out.

Walking out of my room, I walk down the hall to Diovanna's room. I open the door to see her asleep under her covers. I get to work looking for her candy.

I check her nightstand but it's not there. I check under her bed but it's not there. I check the bookshelf but still not there. I look in her closet and find it in one of her drawers.

I pick out a one pound bag of M&Ms before walking out the closet. I'm about to leave when the balcony door opens.

I turn around expecting and enemy but to no avail, it's.... Diovanna?

What the hell?

I look at her, wide eyed, mouth slightly parted, a silent whisper leaving my lips. "What".

She looks wide eyed noticing my presence.

I run to her bed turning on the bed side lamp and yanking the covers off the bed with M&Ms in my hand.

I look at her more closely. She is drenched in blood.

'Please let me explain, don't say anything. Let me shower and get the blood off of me. Just stay here please' she signs grabbing a pair of clothes and running to the bathroom.

What the fuck?



Luca just saw me covered in blood.

He knows.

He has the power to tell everyone.

This is it, if he snitches it's official, all this family does is break me.

How the hell do I explain this to him.

"Oh hey, yea I'm covered in one of my many rapists blood because I want revenge on an assassin group and the Russian mafia so I'm killing a bunch of people. Oh and your little sister whom you haven't seen in a couple years is one of the best assassin's named Dove who is practically a monster"

Yeah this talk will go great.



I wait anxiously on her bed.

What just happened?

My sister covered in blood?

I don't know why she was sent away but she is family and dad was wrong to send her away even if she messed up.

We all make mistakes.

What if she was in danger? My sister could have been in danger! Oh fuck I'm gonna freak out.

The bathroom door opens and my sister walks out in some pajamas. I crush her in a hug whispering I'm sorry over and over.

I may be closed off to a lot of people but if my sister was just in danger and I didn't do anything I actually want to kill myself.

She pulls back hearing my whispers looking confused. Taking her arms from around me she signs. 'You have nothing to be sorry for' she signs honesty clear in her eyes.

'You could have been in danger, I did nothing! What- what if you were in danger? Were you in danger?' I ask frantically.

I think she finally understood why I was the way I was right now. I was worried. And the realization on her face showed she knew I was.

A smile tugged at her lips. 'You're worried' she states. 'No i was not in danger, I have some explaining to do. If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. No matter how bad you want to spill the beans to Sebastian' she signs in all seriousness.

I nod giving her my pinky finger which she accepts and we kiss our thumbs to lock it in.

It sounds childish but for me, it's my only way to show or to be shown trust in a matter like these.

Secret matters.

That sounds like spy shit.

'I'm an assassin' she signs. Okay straight to the point- WAIT WHAT?

My face must have said what I was thinking because she signed something that hit a nerve.

'Not by choice, but it sticks with you I guess' she explains further.

Who the hell makes people become assassins against their will?

Really cruel mafia kidnappers who want an army.

Okay yea you're right.

Wait-

No it is not what I think it is.

It is.

I look at her with wide sad eyes as realization dawns upon me.

That school, was no boarding school. It was a fucking assassin training school. If reports hadn't been filed, they probably would have never let her come back home.

Those bastards.

Our dad was a bastard.

If he wasn't dead we would kill him.

Indeed.

'It wasn't a boarding school was it?' I question wanting confirmation of the truth.

She shakes her head no.

'You don't talk because they said you couldn't right? Because they scared you so bad you felt you couldn't speak anymore?' I ask wanting to know if that's why she doesn't talk.

'Not necessarily, it was more of when I did speak, I would get beat for what came out of my mouth so I used my silence as a weapon. I was unheard, they never listened to my pleas, so I stayed silent.' She pauses seeming to think.

'I was silenced' she signs.

Im so sorry I couldn't stop him Diovanna.

It's our fault.



I don't know why I'm telling him this. I tell myself I don't want to get close, that I want nothing to do with them, but here I am telling Lucas why I won't speak.

Guilt flashes in his eyes, but he was young, he couldn't save me. I don't know why I have the need to be angry at them.

They didn't send me away but they did nothing. But he was only about nine or ten when I was sent away. He couldn't help, he was powerless.

'There was nothing you could do' I sign, having this stupid need to comfort him, to make him feel better.

I'm supposed to hate them, what the hell is happening.

'What was it like there? If you're okay with me asking' Luca questions wanting me to be comfortable.

I sigh. 'They trained us, yea it was tuff and we faced punishments and they hurt like hell but we all gotta go through a little pain' I tell him the half truth. He doesn't need to know how deep they hurt us or how bad the punishments were. Or the men who would come in my room while I slept. The innocent lives they forced us to take from the world. I was a kid, I was a kid.

I couldn't do anything then, but I sure as hell will do something now.

I will take all of the people who hurt me down. I will take down the Russians and make sure all the higher up of the Blood Doves burn.

They will fear me because I'm lethal.

'Okay, I'm sorry Diovanna. I really am, if you need something come get me.' He signs before trying to leave.

Key word: trying.

I grab his arm before pulling him into my embrace. He shouldn't feel guilty.

I've wanted my whole life for these people to feel guilty. But Luca, for some odd reason he has none of my hatred. He has no reason to feel guilty and he needs to know that.

It's not his fault.

It's not mine either.

Pulling back I make sure he is looking at me before signing. 'It's not your fault. You didn't send me away, your father did. You were a kid to, you couldn't help me. Don't feel guilty understand?' I sign to him.

'Yea, yea, I won't tell anyone i promise. Just talk to me okay, I'm always here for you' he signs before leaving the room.

Why do I feel like this.

Why am I caring about these people. I told myself not to care. They'll hurt me in the long run.

I can't do this, but maybe just maybe, I could get along with Luca.

Just Luca.

It's different.

But I can't get too attached, Not too close. He will get hurt. I won't let it happen.

~/~/~

It's about 7:00 AM. It's Saturday today and I don't have anything to do.

Deciding I should get up even if I only slept for about an hour last night, I role out of bed and get ready.

I brush my teeth and shower. I pick out an outfit consisting of black ripped baggy jeans and an oversized red t-shirt with some Nike Air Forces.



One day I will wear some tight outfit but the baggy ones are just so comfortable, and I pull them off. You know?

I leave my hair down. I go downstairs to see everyone already in the kitchen. I take a seat on a stool next to Luca who is typing on his phone with a ghost of a smile. Lucian and Antonio came back and Lucian sits on the other side of me texting someone.

"Good morning Diovanna" Elijah exclaims cheerfully. 'Good morning' I sign back.

I look over and give Luca a small smile. I put my finger over my lips to make sure he doesn't tell Sebastian I'm an assassin. He doesn't even know my code name. He didn't even question who I killed.

He makes the motion of zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

Lucian gives me a questioning look but I just shrug with a look that says "I'll tell you later".

Luca taps my shoulder to gain my attention.

'I'm going to my tattoo shop today, Matteo and Lucian are coming. Do you wanna come with us?' He signs keeping our Conversation private.

'Yea I would like that' I sign in response.

I eat a piece of toast before Matteo, Lucian, and Luca are ready to go.

"Hey Diovanna, on Monday, you and Lucian need to come sit by me. I'll show you all my friends and we can hang out." Matteo tells me happily. He such a golden retriever, I love it.

I nod in understanding wanting to keep him happy for some reason.

What is going on with me, I usually hate people and their feelings.

Matteo and Luca fight over the car we are taking but Matteo ends up winning. How? He elbowed Luca in the stomach for kicking him pretty lightly in his jewels but enough to hurt.

I sat in the passenger seat with Matteo in the drivers seat, Luca and Lucian in the back.

"Diovanna, do you have any tattoos?" Matteo suddenly questions. Curiosity laced his tone.

I nod. "That's so cool, I will get Luca to give me another today, do you want one?" He asks

I grin mischievously and nod.

We reach Luca's tattoo shop. Matteo talks to me about the tattoo he is gonna get and how he only has a couple right now but hopes to have more.

Lucian decides he wants another tattoo too, so another worker and friend of Luca's takes him back to get his done.

I signed that I had a lot but they all had meanings and that the one I get today will be a surprise. Luca translated.

When Matteo go taken back by a friend and coworker of Luca, Luca took me to get my tattoo done.

I got three new tattoos today, in total they took a couple hours. Luca talked to me the whole time though and when Matteo and Lucian finished their tattoos they talked to me too.





(On the inside of her lip) A/N: I've always wanted one of those.



(On her ankle)

Both of my brothers thought my tattoos were cute. Lucian loved the second one I got on my inner lip. I even showed some of my older tattoos in places that don't have many scars to Matteo and Luca. Lucian has already seen them.

We went out and got Mc. Donalds after the tattoos. We laughed a lot. I laughed a lot.

I had fun, they may not be so bad.

We bonded a lot before we had to go home as it was almost dinner.

I want it to stay like this, I hope it stays like this.

But of course, nothing ever stays peaceful.

~~~



A/N: okay so this is a shorter chapter but kinda a filler you know?

Next chapter is kinda hectic

Let me know if y'all like this book.

Love you hoes<3 Bye.