Song~ Elastic Heart - Sia (I already used this song but it fits this chap better so I changed it) TW⚠️⚠️



I take a deep breath and think about the situation.

Arabella must have sensed the change in the atmosphere because she begins to ask questions. "Arabella, that wasn't a regular shot." I pause. "They put a tracker in you." I explain hesitantly, honestly.

If it were me I would want to know the truth.

Her eyes widen and her breathing picks up. "Why would they do that? They know where i am? Dove please don't let them take me! I dont want to go back!" She rambles on. Her breathing picks up even faster and if I don't calm her down she will have a panic attack.

"Arabella I need you to breathe, calm down you're okay." I reassure her.

She doesn't respond.

It's like she can't hear me. I'm not sure if physical touch would help her in a panic attack, sometimes it can make people panic more. Physical touch helps me calm down during a panic attack, even if I'm not huge on physical touch- it brings me the love I once longed for when I was a child.

Fuck it.

I gently place my arm around her shoulders and pull her body towards me so she is resting against my chest. "Listen to my heart beat, try to match it." My arms rest tightly around her.

It took her sometime but she calmed down. Her breathing had slowed and her tears had stopped, she still remained leaning against me- her arms wrapped around me like she was holding on for dear life.

I know she is tired but if we don't get this tracker, they will forever know where she is.

"Arabella, I know you're tired, but we have to take the tracker out. I promise it will be quick." I feel her nod against but makes no move to get up.

I try to stand but she immediately holds me tighter. "Please don't leave me, they always leave me alone. I don't want to be alone." Arabella cry's.

"I'm not leaving, we're just going to a different part of the house. Come on, I'll carry you." I tell her.

She finally agrees and I situate her on my hip and she rests her head on my shoulder. I nod for Lucian to follow me before making my way to the kitchen. Lucian opens the door for me and I walk in.

"Sebastian, come here." I say when all heads turn to me in the kitchen. He just nods and follows me wordlessly.

When he sees the way we are going in the house he begins to question what we're doing.

"We need to take out her tracker. You're going to get a doctor- preferably Elijah- and he is going to take the tracker out. I could get him to do it myself but you are the Don so..." I trail off.

He nods in understanding and goes to get Elijah for me the second we enter the hospital wing of the house.

"Elijah just finished a surgery, so I got him." Seb explains when he brings our brother - Elijah- the doctor over.

I nod and Elijah leads us to a private room while occasionally glancing at Arabella. Arabella is half asleep on my shoulder but we need to do this now.

Lucian leans against the wall observing everything in the room.

Something is definitely up with him.

I sit down softly on the hospital bed. "Arabella." I call her name. "It's time, we have to get the tracker out." I whisper.

She nods- her head still resting on my shoulder. I turn my gaze to Elijah, "the tracker was put into her left arm. I need you to take it out." I explain to him, my voice firm.

Elijah nods in understanding as he grabs a bunch of fancy ass doctor shit.

"Alright, Arabella is it?" Elijah asks, a huge smile adoring his face as he pulls the signature doctor chair up to the hospital bed.

Arabella looks up from my shoulder at the happy voice. She smiles back at Elijah before nodding her head in confirmation of her name.

"That's a pretty name." He pauses. "Now Arabella, I'm just going to clean your arm before putting some numbing cream on so this won't hurt. I'll also give you a shot to help numb your arm. You won't feel a thing." Elijah explains his every move

Arabella looks up to me for... reassurance?

I nod my head, giving her an encouraging smile.

She turns her gaze back to Elijah who hasn't moved since she hasn't gave her consent to this. Arabella nods at him and he grabs an alcohol wipe and begins cleaning her arm.

"I'm just applying the numbing cream right now, and then I'll give you the shot to make sure you don't feel a thing." Elijah assures her.

Arabella nods watching her arm as he applies the numbing cream and gives her the shots. She winced a little at the shots but she didn't let any tears fall.

"You're so brave," I praise her.

I glance over at Elijah who is grabbing a scalpel.

"Okay Arabella, I'm going to make the incision but you won't feel a thing." Elijah explains. When Arabella starts to look, I gently grab her chin and move it towards me.

When her eyes meet mine, she looks at me confused.

"I don't want you to see the blood." I tell her softly. She nods before resting her head on my shoulder. I move my gaze from Arabella to Lucian, he is just observing. When he catches my eyes he just moves his gaze away from me.

I wait for a second before he looks back over and I start mouthing words to him.

'What's wrong?' I mouth.

He just smiles. 'We can talk later.' He mouths back.

Now I'm worried. I'm worried about my best friend. Things have been so crazy and I don't think I've checked up on him enough. Is that it? Does he think because I have a somewhat-family now that I don't need him? Have I been a bad friend?

My knee furthest from Arabella begins to bounce up and down out of nervousness. What if he thinks I'm abandoning him? He is my best friend I can't abandon him, I need him and he needs me, I think.

What if-

"Calm down." Arabella whispers to me. "I can hear your heart beating." She mutters.

I glance over to her, "sorry." I whisper quietly.

I look over to Elijah who holds a clean scalpel, with a nod of my head he begins. "Now you might feel a slight pressure and a bit uncomfortable but no pain." He tells Arabella as he makes the incision.

Arabella's grip on me tightens with her right arm since her left arm is a little- occupied.

Blood trickles down her arm from the cut but Elijah takes a cloth and cleans the access blood up. "I'm gonna get the tracker out now." Elijah mutters taking some tweezers and grabbing something in her arm.

Arabella shifts uncomfortably but my arm keeps her still. Her head lifts from my shoulder when Elijah visibly grabs something with his tweezers. "You're okay, you're doing so good. You're almost done." I praise her.

Elijah pulls out a small chip. "All done, you did so good Arabella. I'm just going to stitch you up and you'll be all good." Elijah tells her.

Lucian moves forward and takes the chip out the tray.

"Wait- Lucian. I need you to hack that chip and see where the signal leads to, if you find it then destroy the chip." It's time i tell him about the book I stole from the Blood Doves.

Lucian looks at me before nodding his head and placing the chip in a signal blocked box. It will cut off the signal of the chip until we take it out. We can only keep it in there for a few hours before the Russians know something is up.

Arabella is out like a light on my shoulder right now, but I have to do something.

I gently grab Arabella and stand up. "Sebastian, we will talk in a couple minutes. Let me put her to sleep." He nods but I was already walking out the door with Lucian.

We make our way to the bedroom hallway and into my room. I place Arabella on the bed and tuck her in leaving a small lamp on in the room so if she wakes up she won't be in complete darkness.

"Whats wrong?" I exclaim turning around to Lucian.

Lucian sighs deeply, "Diovanna it doesn't matter." He rubs his temples.

Something is definitely wrong.

"No, don't do that. Tell me, I just want to make sure you're okay." I reason with him. His gaze on me almost looks angry- but i can't seem to figure out why.

"Tell you?" He scoffs. "Diovanna, why should I tell you if you can't even tell me when you sneak out!" He whisper shouts at me not to wake Arabella.

"Nix and Aaron came here looking for you!" He points at me, anger seeping through his seemingly calm tone. "I tried everything to stop them from going upstairs and getting you but you weren't even there!" He shakes his head at me.

"I thought they had already gotten to you- that something had happened to YOU." He emphasizes the you.

My eyes flash with understanding. He was worried and it's my fault. "Lucian, I'm sor-" he doesn't let me finish.

"You're always sorry. I don't care that you're sorry, i just want you to tell me things! What's happening with us? We used to tell each other everything, and now? Now we barely even communicate." He pauses taking a deep breath.

"You haven't told me anything, when we first got here you were going on missions and I didn't even know! If something had happened to you on those missions and I didn't know, do you understand the guilt I'd feel? That I couldn't help you?" A stray tear falls down his face as his voice gets shakier with each sentence.

Tears well in my eyes. "I'm sorry, I should have told you- fuck." I mutter. I haven't been telling him anything. "I'm sorry I distanced myself. I- I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't." But that's what I was taught. No friendships. No love. No emotions.

"I fucked up- I promise I'll tell you everything." How we haven't woken up Arabella by now is beyond me.

Lucian sighs deeply and sits on the desk chair in my room. He motions for me to sit in my bean bag chair, So I do.

"Go on, start." He urges me. "You want to tell me? Tell me."

I chuckle slightly but listen nonetheless. "I had a meeting with my brothers, as Dove. They had no idea it was me because I had a mask and my contacts in, my identity was sealed." I murmur the last part.

"That was until I came home to find dead bodies littering the property. I had to help as Dove- and if that meant revealing my identity, I would do it again and again every time." I tell Lucian honestly.

"I didn't tell you where I was going, because I don't want to bring you into my shit. Fuck, this whole night just proves it. You were getting the shit beaten out of you because Lucia wants me back." Lucian shakes his head at me.

"don't you understand I don't care if you bring me into your shit?" He questions. "You're my best friend, whatever shit you're in- im in." My heart swells at his words.

"Okay." I whisper. "Then there is something you need to know." I mutter nervously.

Lucian must have noticed my nerves because his gaze narrows at me. "What is it?" He urges.

I go over to my nightstand and quietly grab the notebook. "I stole it." I get straight to the point, handing the journal to him.

He looks utterly confused. "What is this?" He asks.

Oh I don't know- a journal I stole that may or may not contain all the new technology and plans the Russian-Blood Doves were planning to use In order to take down all the other mafias and probably rule the fucking world.

I run my hands down my face. "The day the police came, I had ran to the higher ups office. I rampaged their office and stole the book. It's all of their plans, new technology, and more. They want me back, because they know I have it. I fucked up." I tell him honestly.

Lucian's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Good job." Is all Lucian says as he looks through the book.

Now I'm surprised. "What?" I whisper in disbelief. "That's all?" I ask for clarification.

"Yup." He says popping the P.

"Okay," I say shaking my head. "well I have some explaining to do. Are you okay if I give them the explanations on how we became assassins? It's your story too." I want to make sure he is okay with me telling them about the whole secret-assassin-school thing.

"Yeah, that's cool. Let's go." And with that we both head out the room.

I really hope this doesn't turn into something huge and serious.

~/~/~

Why the actual fuck did I agree to talk about this?

I'm now sitting in the damn living room with all of my uncles, aunts, brothers, cousins- minus Ruth and Luna of course- and both of my grandparents. My gaze is locked on the floor.

Apparently they had watched the security camera footage of me killing all of those men, so now everyone knows. And if my identity gets out to the underworld- the Russians and Blood Doves already know but no one else- I'm in deep shit.

Other mafias will come after me and my family because of the enemies I have made. So my real identity needs to stay between me, my friends, boyfriend, family, and the Russian-Blood Doves.

That's a lot of fucking people.

I sit on one of the couches, Lucian next to me and Luca next to him. I had called Nikolaos before I came down here and caught him up with everything. He told me i didn't owe them an explanation, and that if i needed to leave he would be here to get me before I could even blink.

How sweet.

"Before I say anything, my real identity is never to be spoken of to any outsider. Not even your own mafia men." I clarify earning nods of agreement.

There's a couple moments of silence before I glance up from the floor to see a bunch of pairs of eyes on me. I take a deep breath and rub a hand down my face, "where do I start?" I breathe out.

"Your Dove?" Marco asks.

"I am." I answer vaguely.

"Why didn't you say anything at the meeting?" It was Ares who asked this. And I felt bad because the real answer was, I really didn't trust them.

I don't trust them. Blood is not thicker than water, it doesn't take much for betrayal.

I snap back out of my thoughts and answer Ares's question. "I never planned on telling you, that was until someone threatened my family."

Sebastian smiles when I use the word family.

"How about the part where you became an assassin? How did that happen?" Grandma says softly from her seat next to Grandpa.

I chuckle darkly. "Easy, my father sent me to a school in Russia, where they turned little kids into trained killers." Their eyes widen.

"Trained killers?" Apollo asks.

I nod.

"Those two men?" I grow confused at Alejandro's words. "Those two men you were speaking to, who were they?" He clarifies.

Oh, "Nix and Aaron. They had trained with Lucian and I when we were kids. Old friends, it's a shame the Blood Doves had fully corrupted them." I answer with honest sadness.

They were my friends, but those weren't my friends in that room- no. Those were trained killers with nothing left in them. No emotion. No feelings. No heart. No morals. They were fully corrupted. They had one thing left in them before they died, and that was loyalty to the wrong people.

I could not save them.

"Kids?" My aunt Beatrice asks, sadness shown in her eyes.

I nod in confirmation.

"Why were they specifically looking for you? I mean, Lucian was at that school too and they were going to use him to get you." Matteo speaks for the first time tonight.

I inhale deeply glancing at Lucian who glances at me.

"I have something they want, and Vladimir Mikhail." I hear a couple sharp intakes of breaths at the mention of the Russian don. "He wants me to marry Aleksei Mikhail." I finish off with disgust.

"Absolutely not!" Exclaimed almost everyone.

They act like I was going to- the fuck? Dramatic ass people.

"I had refused in a very angry way. I said something along the lines of 'no way in hell I would marry his small dick son'." I purse my lips together. "That got me a very bad beating but it was so worth it, the look on his face." I burst out laughing and so does Lucian.

The beating was awful, but the face Aleksei had made when I said he had a small dick was priceless.

Me and Lucian both sobered up when we realize no one else was laughing- well except for Matteo who snickered a bit in discreet.

Damn tough crowd.

"Anyways, anything else?"

"you were there too? Your an assassin?" Now this question was directed to Lucian by my uncle Lorenzo.

Well this definitely ruined the mood I was in, just had to bring it back to the sad sappy shit.

Lucian glances over at me before turning his gaze to my uncle. "Yes." He answers vaguely. My hand unconsciously moves over to Lucian, resting my hand with his.

Antonio who was also in this room looks at Lucian with the upmost guilt. My heart hurts for Tony, he didn't know the schools true intentions. He didn't even know the school had a no visitation rule. Besides, seeing the brotherly love he holds for his little brother shows he would have never done it on purpose.

"That's horrible, I'm sorry you both had to grow up so fast." My aunt Maya exclaims, pity lacing her tone.

"I was forced to grow up way before I was sent to that school." I mutter so lowly you would think no one heard me, but Lucian did. He squeezes my hand in reassurance.

"What was that? If you're going to say something speak up." My grandfather speaks up from his place leaning against the wall.

Didn't he just say no to me marrying Aleksei? Fucking bi-polar ass.

I'm so tired of fighting with this man. "Oh you bitc-" Lucian goes to stand up but I put my arm over his chest keeping him in place.

I'm about to let everything slip, something bad is about to come from this situation. And I have a feeling I won't like it.

"I said I was forced to grow up way before I was sent to that school." I repeat louder.

My grandfather scoffs. "Cut the bullshit about your father supposedly hitting you-" I cut him off.

"Why?" I ask calmly, fed up with this same shit. "Why does it always come to this? You think I want to tell you about my past? About what my father had done to me? You think I want to tell you all the horrible things that happened to me? Because I really don't. But these situations seem to come up where I always end up explaining some horrible memories of my past." I stop and my grandfather goes to speak but I don't let him.

"You say your son would never do that, but did you ever really know your son?" I stand up from my spot on the couch and start walking towards my grandfather.

"Your son is the same man who shoved my face into a pillow to keep my screams quiet while he beat me with a belt. Your son is the same man who tried to drown me in my own bathroom. Your son is the same man who threw me into a car and sent me away off of someone's word, there was no proof I even saw those files." By now my heart is pounding in my chest but I make no move to stop talking.

The words flow out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Oh how wish I just kept my mouth shut.

"Your son is the same man who sent me to that school where they beat you, starve you, rape you, fuck- vile things happen to you everyday. I was nine and being forced to pull a trigger to kill a man." I can't think straight, my brain is hazy and I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make the voices stop.

"I don't want to fight with you on whether your son- my father- was a good man or not. Neither do I want to ruin your image of you son. But his hatred for me was born the day my mother died. And maybe his hatred for me was justified, maybe I deserved what I was given, but I'm done. I'm done fighting with you." At this point tears flow down my cheeks and my grandfather has tears in his eyes.

"I'm done fighting." I croak.

A hand is placed on my shoulder, normally I would turn around to see who it is or grab there hand but I can't. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't.

"Diovanna, let's go. You have explained enough." Lucian's soft voice makes its way to my ears.

I still don't acknowledge him, my eyes locked with my grandfathers. Lucian gently pulls me away and holds me as we walk up the stairs.

My breathing is fast and my heart is beating erratically. Why am I so emotional? Whats wrong with me?

How did I go from laughing at one of the only semi good memories I have at that place to crying in front of my family? Am I really that broken? That damaged? I need to pull myself together, I was never this fucking week before.

"Family makes you weak."

"Love makes you weak."

"Emotions make you weak."

"You're weak."

"You're broken."

"Damaged."

"Killer."

"You killed your mother."

Make it stop, make the voices stop.

My hands grip at my hair and I feel Lucian lead me into a room. I can't register where I am, my eyesight blurred with tears. I slide down to the floor and pull my knees to my chest.

What the fuck is happening? What is wrong with me?

"Darling, you're okay. You're not there, you're not alone, you're safe." Lucian whispers as he wraps me in a hug while we just sit on the floor.

His hands wrap around my wrists, gently pulling my hands out of my hair.

I can't breathe.

I need Nik.

Nik helps me.

He helped me.

"Darling, you're okay." He repeats the words but it's not working. Nothing is working.

"N-Nik." I choke out.

"Fuck." Lucian says before I hear him shuffle around.

Something cold is pressed against my ear before a ringing tone is heard. The ringing stops after the second time.

"Lucian?" A husky voice calls out.

Nikolaos.

"N-Nik." I whisper out.

I hear some shuffling on the other end of the line before his voice comes back. "Hey όμορφο κορίτσι, what happened?" He asks in a soft tone. [pretty girl]

"C-can't breathe, panic-c a-attack." I get out through my heavy breaths.

"Okay όμορφο κορίτσι, you're okay. I need you to take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth." He directs into the phone, and I do just that's

In.

Out.

Breathe.

"Lucian is with you? If he is I need you to listen to his heart beat, try and match it." He tells me. My head rests on Lucian's chest as I listen to the steady sound of his heart beat.

I repeat the actions Nikolaos continues to tell me over the phone. After a couple of minutes, my breathing slows and i just rest all of my body weight against Lucian.

I'm so tired.

"You're okay όμορφο κορίτσι, do you want me to come get you? What happened?" Nikolaos asks.

I shake my head but then remember I'm on the phone. "No, can you pick me up tomorrow morning?" I whisper out tiredly.

"Of course όμορφο κορίτσι, I'll be there." Nik reassures.

I feel the phone be gently taken out of my hands but I don't mind. I want to sleep- that's a first. "Yeah man, she's okay. I'll tell her. Thanks Nikolaos." I hear Lucian say before he puts his phone down.

He sighs still wrapping me in his embrace once again. "Dio, are you okay? You scared me there. That was probably the worst panic attack you've ever had." He murmurs the last part.

"I'm so tired Lucian." I can't keep it in anymore, why the hell am I telling them everything?

Why can't I just keep silent? I need to keep my mouth shut.

"Just go to sleep Dio, you are safe." Lucian assures.

And for once I listen.

~~~



A/N: I haven't been vey happy lately, idk why but I haven't. So I wrote my emotions in this chapter.

This chapter wasn't supposed to be sad but I scrapped the whole things and restarted and it just turned out sad. Sorry yall.

Also, Diovanna is definitely a very strong and independent woman. However, we all have a break down at some point. If you view Diovanna as becoming 'soft' or sm because of this, go shit yourself. We all have a breaking point.

By guys<3