>>Amber

A gentle breeze blew past me, making me close my eyes for a second.

The whole thing that happened just now made me think about things again.

I find myself drawn to Hael again.

Why did my affection for him never die?

What I held for him was obsession, not love. Because if it was love, I wouldn't have hurt him, would I?

...

The answers were complicated.

I wasn't a normal person in my first life.

I let out a sigh with my mouth closed and opened my eyes to look at the stars above. Was it not merely an obsession?

I did fall for him at first sight... My love for him was quite innocent then. But because Hael wasn't showing affection to me I turned toxic and insecure pretty fast.

It can't have been love.

I...I hurt him so much in my first life. I tortured him...

I didn't do that this time... But...

I recalled the first time I saw him

I stood at the top of the grand staircase, my hand resting lightly on the polished banister. The sound of my father's voice calling my name echoed through the hall below. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, and began my descent.

The soft rustle of my dress accompanied each step. The chandelier overhead cast a warm, golden glow, illuminating the intricate details of the marble and woodwork. I felt a mixture of anticipation and apprehension as I descended, the elegant surroundings doing little to calm my racing heart.

Even when I was a kid I wasn't fond of my father, and when he would call for me, there was always a part of me that was afraid, especially when he yelled for me.

But that day, as I reached the midpoint of the stairs, my eyes scanned the room below. There, standing near the base of the stairs, was a figure I hadn't noticed before. His presence drew my gaze like a magnet, and in that moment, our eyes met.

He was beautiful. His hair was silver, shimmering like starlight under the chandelier's glow. His eyes were extraordinary, like they held the very essence of the moon within them. They were deep and luminous, capturing the light in a way that made them seem almost otherworldly, like twin moons reflecting the secrets of the night.

Time seemed to slow, each second stretching into an eternity as I continued my descent. The world around us faded into the background, the surroundings and distant murmur of voices dissolving into a blur as I kept my eyes on him.

With each step, my heart pounded louder, the rhythm echoing in my ears. My hand tightened on the banister, and I felt a strange, exhilarating sensation wash over me. It was as if I were floating, each movement deliberate and dreamlike.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't stop staring at him and I couldn't stop my cheeks from blushing.

I fell for him the moment I saw him.

Did my love turn into something sinister?

...

That's actually possible.

I let out a sigh.

I didn't turn out like how I did in the past. And Hael grew closer to me... I wonder, if I hadn't turned into that toxic person in my first life either, would Hael have loved me back?

The reason he didn't return my feelings was because he's not good with emotions. I didn't know that in the past. And I was a mega idiot too, I got tangled in the schemes of others.

...

I understand why my feelings grew for him. It's normal to like the only person who helps you. Although Hael never showed affection for me, he always did the things I asked him to, and some I didn't even ask him to... And times like that just made me like him even more.

Even after my life as a noble finished and I started living as Amber, when Hael showed himself again, I found my feelings reignited.

What is it that I'm so drawn to?

Perhaps the thing is, one does not simply forget the hard times. And one definitely doesn't forget their sole solace in it

For me Hael was that.

For a pitch black night like myself. He was my full moon that shone.

I stared at the full moon in the sky. It's majestic shine reflecting in my gaze.

After understanding Hael better, I know he was actually doing the best he could in the Cory Manor. He was just trying to survive while all of us were so cruel to him

And even though I left my past behind. It's not like I can forget that. It's part of me.

And Hael is part of that story.

And in the end the truth that stands is that he was my first love. A love that maybe I'll never forget.

I mean, I already tried and failed.

So...

I looked down

What does that make me? Am I an idiot for still being like this? What am I going to do with these feelings?

Because I really don't know what to do with Hael...

His way of doing things is twisted. But I honestly can't even blame him for it, not after knowing his story. He gave me power so that people won't be able to mess with me. That was his way of showing...

I paused

Hmmm

Showing what? Concern? Worry? Or affection?

What does he feel for me? Honestly, I can't tell for sure.

And would we ever work out?

I mean, it's Hael.

There are plenty of times when I don't even know why he's done something. His emotional radar is exceptionally small. He doesn't understand the most basic of things and yet I can't blame him for any of that

...

God damnit, his mother should have gone to a therapist!

God!!

I slumped back and lay on my back, looking at the dark sky

This is so complicated

I kept looking, staring at the majestic moon surrounded by stars.

Then I placed my right hand on my heart

Yet this stupid thing knows it wants him. I was very skeptical before I learned about his past

But ever since he told me everything, things changed.

He does things, and he does them only for me

Many of them were not wanted but still.

Deep down, I can't lie that I want to give 'us' a chance.

I bit my lower lip

But,

I wonder if Hael's gonna hate me now, knowing what I did to him in the past...

***

>>Hael

She would give anything to go back?

I slammed the book on the table, the sharp sound reverberating through the quiet room. The pages fluttered wildly before settling. My jaw clenched as I flipped through the pages, eyes scanning the words without really seeing them.

My mind was consumed by her words.

Annoyance surged through me, quickly morphing into something darker. She'll leave me? The thought gnawed at me, a bitter, unwelcome notion. I felt a tightening in my chest, a possessive knot that refused to loosen.

I paused, staring blankly at the book. This was the Tower Master's book. Something that can only be accessed by the Tower Master as well, it has the records of all the previous Masters. It's filled with things they discovered. I've already read it all, I don't even know why I'm flipping through pages again.

But I'm anxious to find those words again.

Her face flashed in my mind—the determined set of her jaw, the sadness in her eyes as she said those words;

'I would give everything to go back to it.'

It was as if she had already resigned herself to the possibility, and that infuriated me.

Leave here? Leave me?

The page that I was looking for opened and I stared at the title

'Transmigrators'

No. I'll never let her leave. A cold resolve settled over me, hardening my features. She can't leave. She couldn't. She belonged with me, whether she realized it or not. I would make sure of it.

I smirked as my eyes scanned what was written in the book.

Good thing there is no other way back to her 'beloved world' but one. And she doesn't need to know that. No one does. No one can access these records but me anyway.

She'll stay by my side.

Living another life and coming back in time... It explains how her personality changed overnight.

If it hadn't changed...

I paused

It didn't originally change, so I came to hate her as well? And then I killed her?

So what?

I don't really care about that. I don't care what she did to me from a time that I don't even remember

So what if she tortured me in that timeline? She kept using the stone on me? Had me locked up? Had me beaten up?

I don't care. She remembers it, not me, which actually works in my favor. She feels sorry for what she did so she'll never be able to hate me.

My smile widened.

That's right. That must also be why she hasn't resisted whatever I did for her.

I traced my fingers on the words written on the page.

'A transmigrator's only way back is death'

I smiled at the words. I won't let her die, she has to spend her life with me. I tapped my fingers on the page.

But that aside, time rewinded for her? Why? It can not happen without a reason. That is the sort of magic that no normal person can conjure.

I flipped through the pages for answers. I read about it in here too.

For time to rewind, some major incident has to happen.

Someone did something.