>>Enya

He stared back at me with a poker face.

A red winged butterfly passed high above us, circling around but staying away, "Save the world?" He scoffed, "I don't give a shit about this world."

"Yea..." I replied, "Neither do I," I clenched my fists, "Yet, this is the only world where I got to meet him." He kept his eyes on me, "And this is the only world where you can meet her... again."

"..." He turned his body around,

"You lost someone important, didn't you?" I pointed at the grave, "You won't answer but I know."

"..." He didn't move.

"One doesn't end up in a state like yours, unless they've lost things." I looked around, "Clearly, you're at the peak of your profession. You're the Master of the Magic Tower." My gaze went back on him, "It means you've lost a beloved. Someone you were deeply in love with"

His hand twitched but he didn't answer

"And you're an elf," I said and his eyes widened for a moment, then he glared at me, "I know elves can only fall in love once."

"You're smarter than you look."

"That's an insult, but I'll take it as a compliment." I nodded, "I know because you and I aren't that different."

He stared at me, then he glanced up at the red winged butterfly which stayed there looking back at the both of us.

"Ah," And then he got it and looked back at me.

"You don't want to get her back?" I asked

"Elaborate." He said

"You-" Now I wasn't sure, but I am going to sound like I am, "Can turn back time." I was expecting a reaction out of him.

Something like realization, shock or even disgust

Anything

But he wasn't even amused. His expressions didn't change at all and it hit me

"You've already thought of that," My shoulders slumped, "Haven't you?"

"There won't be a point of going back," He said,

"Why not? We can go back and change things so that our lovers don't die!"

He shook his head,

"Why!?" I was desperate, "You don't want to get her back?"

"No," He replied, "There's no point in getting her back when the world is going to end anyway."

!!!

I couldn't argue with that.

"We don't have a solution for miasma. The fake saint the temple made is dead and we don't have a new one." He glared at me, then let out a sigh and turned around. He went and sat on his bed in a hunched position. His arms resting on his thighs, "There's no point in doing it."

"You don't want to savor any more time with her?" I asked

"... I would take anything I get, but," He paused and I was waiting for him to say something but he didn't.

He didn't explain anything further and teleported out of there.

Ah!

I moved a step towards him but he was gone before I could do anything

My arm stretched out in the air in front of me.

...

Shit.

He said he would take anything, then why not take it?

Why did he suddenly stop?

I retreated my hand and balled my fists. And he just flashed out of here!

I can't give up.

I know I'm selfish

Most likely the most selfish person in this world.

But I can't help it.

I want Ahin back. I want him back with me! I looked up at the butterfly.

It was a stark contrast to the white surroundings with its crystal red wings.

"I won't stop," I said as I looked at it, "I'll keep going!" I told him.

***

And so continued my constant pestering

Hael had a habit of visiting the unnamed grave and whenever he went there I went to talk to him. Although I was ignored most of the time.

A few days passed like this and I started losing my mind. He was so good at ignoring me that it was getting to my head.

At this point I was sure he was using magic spells to cancel out my voice. He wasn't hearing anything, no matter what I was saying to him when I sat on the other side of the grave.

I would speak non stop yet he wouldn't even look at me and one day I finally lost it.

On the coldest day of winter, I stomped my way towards him as he sat by the grave, this time he was sitting in my spot.

"Fuck you!!" I screamed at him. Hael didn't flinch. He just sat there, staring at the nameless grave like always. His back was to me, his figure stiff, unbothered by the cold or my outburst. The snow crunched under my feet as I stormed closer, fists clenched tight with frustration.

"Did you hear me!? I said fuck you!" I yelled again, my voice echoing through the frozen wasteland.

No reaction. Just silence, the bitter wind swirling between us.

I stopped just behind him, glaring at the back of his head. "You're a coward, you know that?"

His shoulders didn't move, not a flicker of acknowledgment.

"You sit here like some tragic, broken figure. You loved her, didn't you? And yet you're too afraid to do anything about it!" My voice shook, not from the cold, but from the fury building up inside me.

Still nothing.

I stepped closer, my breath coming out in heavy clouds. "You think this is noble? Sitting by her grave, wallowing in your grief? You think this makes you some kind of martyr?"

His hand twitched, and I could tell I was getting to him.

Finally.

"You're not noble. You're not mourning. You're hiding," I spat. "You lost her, and instead of fighting to get her back, you sit here like the world has already ended. Like you've already given up."

He stared at the ground in front of him, as still as ever.

I clenched my fists harder. "You think you're the only one who's lost someone? You think you're the only one who's hurting? Everyone has, Hael. But not everyone is a coward about it."

At that, his head tilted slightly, just enough to show he was listening now.

"I know what you're doing," I said, my voice lowering to a bitter hiss. "You're waiting. Waiting for this world to fall apart so you don't have to make a choice. So you don't have to fight. Because fighting means risking failure. And you're terrified of that, aren't you?"

He finally turned his head, his lifeless eyes narrowing at me. For a second, I thought he might snap, that he might lash out. But he didn't. He just glared at me, as if daring me to keep going.

"You're pathetic," I whispered, my voice ice-cold now. "You could save her. You could bring her back. But you won't, because it's easier to sit here in the snow, feeling sorry for yourself." Honestly, I wasn't even sure what I was spouting. I had no clue what had happened between him and his lover.

He stood up slowly, towering over me, his expression darkening as the tension between us thickened. "You have no idea what you're talking about," He said, his voice low and deadly.

"Oh, I do," I shot back, standing my ground as I lied. "I know exactly what I'm talking about. You are a coward. You could have her back, you could save her. But you're too afraid to try."

His eyes flashed with anger, the first real emotion I'd seen from him in days. But then, just as quickly, it faded back into that empty, hollow stare.

"You think it's that simple," He said, shaking his head as he turned away again. "You don't understand anything."

"Then explain it to me!" I yelled after him. "Tell me why you won't fight for her when you're this miserable without her!??"

He paused but didn't turn around. I stood there, the biting wind cutting into me, my heart pounding in my chest. I could feel the frustration bubbling over again, but this time it wasn't just anger—it was despair. Because no matter how hard I pushed, no matter how much I screamed, I couldn't make him care. I couldn't make him fight.

And that terrified me.

>>Hael

Why won't I fight for her? I looked down at my hands. When I'm this miserable?

I am miserable.

I do wish things were not like this.

But bringing her back? Saving her? I turned my head to look at the grave while a red butterfly came and sat on it. The cold creeping into my skin but never reaching the depths of my emptiness. It had been years since I felt warmth. The cold, the isolation, they were the only things familiar now.

Why won't I agree to it? It's not because I know what the performer has to face. No

It's because Corvina already killed me once,

That heart-shaped mana stone in her hand had caused so much pain, my heart stopped beating. The panic in her eyes when she realized what she had done, scrambling to have someone restart my heart, was seared into my mind.

But after that? After the brief moment of relief that I was still alive?

Everything that followed was suffocating.

There was no escape. I couldn't talk to anyone. The male staff hated me, I didn't quite get it then but they must have thought I was rude. But after everything I went through with the mercenaries, I was already wary of men. I was fourteen when I arrived at the Cory manor. All the men there were a lot bigger than me. They might have thought I was being rude, but all I wanted was to protect myself. And the women? The female staff wasn't any better although I realized the true extent of how vile they were when I got older. But as I grew, I knew I could at least overpower them if things got physical.

Still, any interaction, even a conversation, would send Corvina into a rage.

I had to take the abuse from all sides. It didn't matter how much I tried to stay out of trouble—it always found me. And yet, somehow, at the end of the day, I was always the one punished.

Every time.

I couldn't understand it. I was the one being violated, threatened, bullied, yet at the end of the day, I still had to suffer crucifying pain. Heart attacks, all because Corvina changed.

Where did that sweet little lady go? The one who gave me warmth when I first came to the manor?

What happened? It didn't make sense. It was hard for me to understand why she was being so nice to me in the beginning but her change left me baffled.

Why was she doing this to me? Claiming to love me but then abusing me? Her obsession was terrifying.

Corvina had turned into something beyond my comprehension, and all I could do was collect hatred. For her, for the staff, for myself. I thought I hated her—just like I hated the rest of the world that kept on abusing me.

And I killed her, not realizing when my slip had happened.

"Huh?" Enya spoke, "What excuse do you have? Why are you refusing to do it?"

And no one had ever told me about this cursed elf blood of mine.

Nothing had gone my way no matter how much I had tried

The snow flakes began to drop as we stood in the ruins.

I don't even understand what love is... It can't be what Corvina was giving me. Because that is something I would never want to give her back

The pain inside of me is something I can't resolve. It's been eating me up and I don't have answers. This was something that had left me completely broken, and yet I crave her?

I do want her, but I don't know what to do. I have failed in human relationships in every part of my life.

The pain inside of me is something I can't resolve. It's been eating me up and I don't have answers.

I would do anything to get her back, but,

"Because I could never have imagined it would be this painful-" I said softly, my voice barely a whisper.

I looked up at the darkening sky. We were soon going to be deprived of any sunlight at all since the miasma had almost taken the sky as well.

"-To love a villain" I whispered to myself.