CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

fleeting glances



the tension between me and running out the back door right before fifth period was palpable. unless maeve planned on doing the same, i could avoid seeing her and the revolting image of her and my cousin being together in my mind. but there was a slim chance of that. we had a test that we'd been reviewing for in class for days, so i one hundred percent knew she would be there, sitting across from me as i struggle to focus on bubbling in answers about the berlin airlift. this was the first time i didn't want to go to ap world for a reason apart from seeing my teacher or a test. what an odd feeling?

in the case of gym class, i had walker and a hunch that jordyn would be avoiding me as well. luckily, when walker and i entered the gymnasium, that was proven correct. i knew that we basically agreed on who the cast would be, but putting out a list without maeve felt illegal. and i didn't even want to talk about her to walker, so in gym we played thumb war until forced to play basketball. i was unfairly destroyed in the thumb war. but at least i got him back in the courts. i also beat a few other classmates that joined in. it was fun; a nice distraction.

fifth period unavoidably came around. i dragged my feet to mr fennel's class. there he was with his hairy self (except for his head, of course), passing out answer sheets. and naturally, maeve was there as well, passing out. yes, she was asleep at our table. her head was pillowed on her forearms, which were crossed on the plastic tabletop.

i questioned if she was actually asleep or just resting so she could mentally prepare for the test. so as an little experiment, i slammed my bookbag onto the table. it simply quivered and she just stirred.

i dithered, unsure on whether to wake her up or not. we had a test and all, but the last thing i wanted to do was have to interact with her upfront. i could already imagine it: i'd go over to her, tap her shoulder a few times, she'd swat me away like i was a gnat, finally arise, and give me a dirty look. and i would probably apologize for waking her up.

clearly the only option was to volunteer mr fennel to do it, so i waited for him to give maeve's bubble sheet to her. he approached our table, humming a tune jollily. oddly, he seemed to be in a better mood than usual -- he must have missed being able to hog the bathroom with one less person in the house.

i stiffened in anticipation as he reached out the paper in front of him. but then i sighed in dissatisfaction. without looking, he let the sheet slip out of his hand and glide back and forth through the air before finally falling... right on top of maeve's head. he continued to make his way around the classroom as people piled in, completely unaware that he'd just created what could've been the hot new sleeping headwear trend.

i couldn't just sit there and let maeve be unknowingly mortified. i heard jake whisper to his friends and they all snickered. before i knew it, fennel was throwing a sheet at me. i needed to wake her up now, or she'd fail the test on behalf of incompletion and be the reason everyone else failed trying not to laugh at her.

i forced myself to stand up and go over to maeve, purposefully making my chair squeak abrasively in hopes of that doing the job for me. but it didn't work and i was a few dreadful steps away from her. i resorted to pretending we were having a sleepover and i urgently needed to wake her up to ask if she had more toilet paper (based on a true story).

before my hand reached her shoulder, the bell rang. very loudly. so loud it jolted maeve awake. at first i was happy to be relieved of the task, but that was until i saw the perturbed expression on maeve's face when she saw me standing right in front of her.

"were you watching me sleep?" she asked me. the paper slid off her hair and onto the floor.

"oh look! your answer sheet fell!" i pointed to where it landed on the tile and her gaze followed mine. i hurried to escape back to my seat, a safe distance from her, as she outstretched for her paper.

when she stood up in her seat, she only briefly held eye contact, our glances like the magnetic forces of two south poles: unable to meet, and cold. she quickly lowered her chin and began reading the directions. i eventually did the same. the question packets were handed out and the rest of the class joined our silence.

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the test ended up being pretty short, therefore my distraction was, too, shortlived. and after we all handed it in, this new jolly old mr fennel let us "talk amongst ourselves" or "browse the web on our phones." i chose the latter, finding no interest in talking to myself.

i decided to open my documents app and start on the layout of the cast list. i constructed a table of contents format. the top two characters, caleb and aurora, were already filled in of course, but the rest was blank.

i stared so long at the unfinished document that my eyes were starting to water, making it appear as though i was just so sad there wasn't an official list. and on top of that, my eyes were watering because i had to sneeze violently. if i dared move, i knew it would end snottily, so i attempted to wait it out.

my attempt was in vain. my nose must truly have despised me, because it started twitching and tingling uncontrollably. i placed my phone down and rushed to the tissue box, close by in the corner of the room. i caught it this time, unlike behind the tree.

"bless you," murmured jake. he was the only one who said anything, which i didn't mind, but it highlighted how my booming achoo! renewed the silence of the test-taking time.

i threw out the discolored tissue with tense shoulders, then shuffled back to my seat. i glanced at maeve, ready to make a self-deprecating joke out of habit. but luckily i caught myself. plus, she didn't see me. she was busy looking at my phone... oh no.

"is that the cast list?" maeve questioned.

"yes," i said dryly.

"you're not doing this without me, are you?" her tone was accusing.

i pulled my phone onto my lap as defense. "no!" this time i spoke a little less dry, but only in tone. i couldn't bring myself to say any more.

"this isn't a game of twenty questions, y/n. i know we haven't talked in a few days but that doesn't mean you forgot how to."

"'yes' and 'no' are better responses than nothing."

"that's a little better," she teased.

"oh, but sometimes being dry is better, maeve. you probably wouldn't know that, though." i leaned closer and lowered my voice, not wanting to replicate madeline and draw attention to private drama. "i've heard you like to spice up your texts."

she crossed her arms. "at least i have someone who likes me back."

all the diagrams of the nuclear war bombs and artillery on the walls seemed to animate and fire at me. that comment was vile. "he likes me enough to stay by my side after my best friend and cousin lied to me!"

"lied to you?" maeve's voice rose passionately. heads turned. in a lower volume, she continued. "i don't know about jordyn, but i didn't lie to you. i knew you would react like this: all unspeaking. so i did the same. i didn't talk about it. is that all so bad?"

"ladies, when i said to talk amongst yourselves, i didn't mean start a war worthy of being added to the text books," joked mr fennel. he laughed at his own punchline, slapping his knee. whoever just said that was not the mr fennel i knew and hated.

"sorry, we'll argue quieter," said maeve. "so? what've you got to say?"

"you're acting like i'm in the wrong here, though! you never should have done that in the first place if you knew i would react so negatively," i whisper-yelled. "and if you think i'm in the wrong, well i might just go and do this without you."

she shook her head. "come on. you don't mean that."



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thank you for reading chapter 35!

if i don't update as often it's bc of final exams ๐Ÿ˜ญ (help me) (i feel like y/n in the early chapters minus the meet-cute sadly)