CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

sneak peak



"you know what you need to do to win this competition?" maeve asked after i filled her in. "go to mr conley's office and gather a sense of who he is, what he would swoon over."

"that's a good idea," i said. "i've never even heard of this guy. hopefully he actually has a heart unlike a lot of the staff, 'cause apparently we're supposed to touch it."

"sounds kind of perverted to me." she started packing up. the bell was going to ring in less than a minute, so i did the same.

"i don't want to ask you to be a pervert or anything, but would you be able to write a love letter?" the sentence sounded a little off, but i figured that hats would have a doubled chance of being funded if she and jordyn also submitted their letters. maybe it doing so could teach them to be less perverted in general, too...

"yeah, sure! let me know what you get out of conley."

passing period started. we made our way out the door, vigilant of madeline or jake. the coast was clear. before i turned the corner to go to sixth period, i asked maeve, "are we cool?"

"yeah, i would say like room temperature, yeah," she said, nodding.

i returned the nod, slightly confused but accepting it. then i waved "goodbye" and went on my merry way to english.

before i left that class for lunch, i asked my teacher where i could find mr conley's office. she said that he was almost always in room 237. noted.

i remembered to deliver the sense gathering proposition to walker over text that night, once i reached in the step of my daily routine where i review every single detail of the prior school hours.

you hey, my valentine ;)

walker hello, mine.

you darling, i thought i would share an idea crafted by the one and only maeve (i think we are talking again). tomorrow, the adorable couple that is us will gallop on over to room 237 and get a sense of who the chairperson is at heart. only then will we discover what it takes to be victorious, and we will have an immense advantage over all the other pairs.

walker (that's great. also, loving the method acting) of course i would love to partake in this beautifully crafted plan, dear. but what time would this take place?

you we could simply inquire with mr grant, my love. you mustn't get your feathers ruffled. i would place bets higher than our current funds that he will accept our request.

walker (do all couples talk so fancily? i feel like i'm gonna start texting in shakespearean again.) sweetheart, you're but a genius! i am as devoted do this plan as i am to you, my wondrous, bodacious, splendid companion.

you (the word "darling" was spoken by a posh, rich, british woman in my head, so i rolled with the proper vibe.) oh, how marvelous! i will feast my eyes on you tomorrow, my beloved.



he hearted my message and i shut off my phone. i then felt the need to take a deep breath once i saw my reflection on the black screen and ask myself: "am i crazy, or crazy for him?" i felt both, frankly. because being called bodacious was now my new favorite pastime.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

on friday, contrary to the last time and as previously expressed, i didn't feel the need to forge a doctor's note to be let out of the classroom. i could go up to mr grant and ask to leave with ease.

"mr grant?" i said straight after the bell rang. "could i go to the english chairperson's office with walker quickly?"

"sure!" he said, clicking the "present" button next to my name on the opened virtual attendance log. wow -- that was easy and preemptively avoided another skip-induced grounding from my parents!

"thank you!" i exclaimed before turning and giving the thumbs up + wink cue to walker that we were good to go.

we headed downstairs to the floor where all room numbers began with two. i had never been in a room 237. wasn't even sure if i'd seen it. but it couldn't be as difficult to find as the theater wing, so i trusted the pattern of ascending numbers up the northward hallway.

"there it is," said walker, pointing to the plaque that read "237" above the door across the way.

we approached it and i warily peaked in the window. a pleasantly plump man was filing papers at his desk in a small office. i could imagine us knocking on the door and entering that office... and then i couldn't imagine what we'd say.

taking walker by the elbow and pulling him away, i asked, "what are we going to say to him? 'we want to have an unfair advantage over the real couples in the competition that you're hosting. so, tell us, how did you meet your wife?' or something?"

"okay, i actually like the 'reflecting our fake love story with his' idea. but you're right, that would be too suspicious if we just walked in there," he realized. "so why would we need to talk to the english chairperson?"

"hmm... we're, uh, in dire need of, uh, romance book recommendations! and we can get a sense of what kind of love he likes reading about!"

"that's our best shot," he said, then took me by the elbow too and used his other hand to knock on the door.

"come on in!" called mr conley.

walker turned the doorknob bodaciously and let me go inside first like the gentleman that he is. mr conley was revealed in full. he looked like a classic barbecue uncle from west virginia but in the outfit of a runaway groom. i sat down at desk and began analyzing him based off of his and his office's appearance.

the surface before me was organized and crisply reflecting sunlight from the open windows behind him. there were no picture frames in sight. no plants. a lot of writing utensils, though. the papers i saw filed when stalking him were neatly placed next to his perfect pencil holder and pristine pen holder, which was divided by color. he was obviously a clean-cut guy, maybe a lover of a clean-cut love story.

"hi, mr chairperson," started ( improvised ) walker. "we're just a pair of valentine's in need of some great romance book recommendations. we thought, 'who better to ask than the english guy himself?'"

he chuckled humbly. "oh, i'm honored! i think the librarians would be a better fit, but seeing as valentine's day is approaching so quickly, i'll give you some of my favorite romance novels." he fiddled with his cherry red pens for a moment, then his maroon pens, lost in thought. "i would have to say, in all honesty, that my number one has got to be twilight."

"really?" i asked involuntarily. there was no indication i could have gotten from this hair gel loving english chairperson that he would be into messy books like that.

"of course! it was so exciting! the ups and downs are what i love to see in any romance story," he enthused. "i wish i had an exciting relationship of my own. my lack of it is what led to my divorce."

"really?" walker asked, his voice concerned but his face shocked. i too, was not expecting that announcement to follow his other words.

"yes. edward was so unlike my husband, helping me to realize that i needed better," he sighed. "hopefully this valentine's day will be filled with exhilaration, and not teardrops on the pages of one of my copies of twilight."

we said nothing in response, kind of mystified. he continued organizing this limited desk space. when the clinking of his turquoise pens against his navy got too loud, he glanced up to us again and said, "i really don't read any other romance. i'm more into killer-thrillers."

"okay, thank you," i said as i got out of my chair. i had gathered enough information about the lonely soul in front of me.

"that's one interesting chairperson," said walker once we were outside.

"yeah, you're right. i've never met a chairperson named 'mr chairperson' before!" i laughed.

he playfully pushed me to the right, which was the direction we needed to go to get back to class. i hadn't anticipated such a short lived trip, but i felt prepared nonetheless. so after elbowing him in response, i took him by the elbow again and we continued right.



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thank you for reading chapter 38!