CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

starry-eyed



the majority of the pain had subsided by the time i needed to humiliate myself and walk into ap world late. after thanking the nurse and returning the now-warm ice pack to her, i reminded myself to keep my eyes laser pointed on maeve, so it looked like i had a purpose in arriving to class other than to avoid being marked as cut again.

maybe the universe wanted to cut me some slack. when i turned the knob and pushed, the door didn't creak at all. and better yet, everyone was focused on their own individual work, so i didn't get any unwanted glances. except for maeve of course; she immediately sprung her head up and gave me an eager smile.

before i reached the tile that marked the safe zone of the room ( where maeve was sitting ), i realized i couldn't forget to make a delivery: giving a late pass to mr fennel. he accepted the small slip of paper and exchanged it for the worksheet in an accusatory manner, raising an eyebrow and huffing disapprovingly. oh, right. his wife was back.

"are you okay? i heard what happened," maeve whispered as i sat down.

"it didn't get warped and spread around, right?"

"no, no, don't worry." she showed me her phone. "walker told me after he texted me in all caps asking if you were in ap world."

after a few seconds, i comprehended what she said and a cheshire cat grin formed across my face. "really?" i asked, flattered.

"i know. it's actually crazy that he used all caps!" she giggled. then, she realized what i meant. "oh. yeah, he obviously wanted to know if you're okay. as do i."

"eh, i've been better," i diminished. "how are you, you little valentine-haver?"

"i'm waiting patiently for the little chocolate box exchange we'll have and the love letter exchange and all the sappy stuff i'll write in the competition."

"so you've already written an actual love letter before! you've had practice! no fair."

maeve jokingly mocked, laughing and pointing her finger at me. but it soon faded. she retracted the finger in and redirected it to behind me. i turned to see what she was looking at with so much surprise. for some odd reason, jake seemed to be permanently stationed with his two friends in the same spot he had occupied all week. but the new aspect was jake's hair. i almost didn't recognize him. his once flat and straight hair was now permed.

"finally," i said, turning back around. with this newfound relief of an upgraded haircut, i started on the worksheet.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

i leaned against my locker after school, awaiting walker's text and reviewing what i would be writing. i couldn't possibly write a cross between twilight and high school musical or something, so i concluded that i would mix in the truth. the only person who would be reading it was mr conley, anyway. since we had a double chance of winning with maeve and jordyn, i felt pretty good about it.

my phone pinged. of course, it was from my valentine.

walker hey i'm going in now. wait like three minutes? it starts in ten so ur good

you okay! how does it look in there right now?

walker there's actually a good amount of people. couples are sitting together, so remember to sit as far as possible anyway how are you feeling???

you the medicine wore off by now so i think i'm doing better that was so humiliating omg thank you for helping me escape everyone watching. idk how you went to events and stuff.

walker well at events i didn't get hit in the face with basketballs, but that's just me.

you too soon.

walker sorry, my beautiful valentine.

you that's more like it see you in sixty seconds!

i swung my bag over my shoulder and headed to room 206, feeling myself blushing. thankfully by the time i reached the classroom of interest, though, i didn't look like i tried to kiss a bee hive. as i opened the door, walker and i made brief, knowing eye contact. he sat in the front of the room, which only had a few vacant chairs left ( all had lined papers provided ), and posters about books, inspirational quotes, and literary elements as wall decorations.

i made my way to the back corner on the other side of the room. a few seats down was maeve and in front of her was jordyn. i hadn't seen him since the night at his house. when i softly called over to maeve and we waved to each other, he glanced over his shoulder at me. i then waved to him, much more awkwardly. he just gave me a smile and quickly turned forward again, followed by maeve kicking the back of his ankle.

next, michael and a girl i'd never seen before made their grand entrance. she stood there looking miserable as he scanned and took in the inhabitants of the room. he just had to stay there while searching for where to sit, long enough to block the next couple, madeline and jake, from getting in. madeline pushed through, hand in hand with the freshly permed boy. as she found a few seats next to walker, michael's face contorted into fury. however, it was after he saw jake's hair...?

eventually, mr conley, who i forgot would be in the room as the competition took place, stood up behind the teacher's desk and spoke. "happy valentine's day! this competition is pretty simple. write at least one page of words that come straight from your heart. you have forty-five minutes... starting... now!" he sat back down and picked up a thick book with a bloody knife on the cover.

i started quickly, not lifting my head for the next thirty minutes or so. the class was silent, so i breezed through the writing like it was an in-class essay. though i made sure it didn't sound like one. the love letter that i handed to mr conley was genuine.



dear walker,

when you find the one, you want nothing but to express your love for them. i hope to do that through this letter and put the feelings i have in my heart for you into words.

for starters, i'll never forget the day i met you. i thought it was going to be like any other first period in chemistry. i used to tolerate that class, sitting alone and listening to the boring lectures. but once you sat next to me that morning, i knew that i never wanted you to leave my side. chemistry became my favorite class because of our chemistry and how much i love spending time with you. the glances we give to each other, shared laughs, seamless conversations. we connected so quickly.

of course, there were ups and downs. there were so many times when we were physically separated, like when your seat was moved. i was honestly so disappointed. or when we finally got together outside of school and we ended up running home in a rainstorm. not a lot of people get to say they did that with their crush. i've realized that i'm not afraid when i'm with you. you've been there to help me without fail, like just today when you helped me after my injury in gym class. even though all these memories seem bad, to me, they remind me most of why you're one of the best people i know.

walker, being with you makes me happier and more myself than i've ever been. i don't know what spilling this truth will do, but i do know that i can't keep these feelings inside me. you are my favorite part of every day, and i'm ready to embrace whatever happens, as long as it means i get to be with you.

i hope this letter didn't come across as too dramatic. you do make me feel like i'm in a movie after all. and even if we were just two actors in a movie, i wouldn't be able to fake my feelings for you.

yours, y/n



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thank you for reading chapter 42!

no cuz how do you even write a love letter loll 😭