CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

reveal

wednesday. valentine's day was finally over with. but its events were still remnant and incomplete: the results of the competition. they were to be released today, i assumed by some sort of private email or message.

feelings from yesterday were remnant as well. a twinge of embarrassment jabbed my stomach every time i thought about the aftermath of the fight. i walked into chemistry class, unzipping my winter coat and minding my own business. trying to, at least. i felt like my business had a grand opening and was public. who knew how many people knew about jake's unconfirmed theory that i liked walker? from the glances in my paranoid peripheral, it seemed to be more than i was hoping for.

there walker was in the back of class as usual, but he skeptically scanned the room. "why is everyone so off? and looking back here?" he asked me.

i sat down beside him, but not too close. "i'm sure it's nothing," i said casually. if he didn't know about the reason jake permed his hair and such, the doom of yesterday wouldn't come back entirely. "how're you doing?"

"not too bad. i think i have a little cold, that's all," he said. "oh, and my parents told me that they're happy with my grades as of now. the b minuses are aces, i guess."

"so if you keep them up through filming and the rest of the year, you're good to go back?"

he nodded. "yep." then he nodded more, looking ahead of him with pressed lips. a few more seconds of nodding, then he turned to me again. "so, did you ever find out what happened yesterday?"

"after you guys left? oh, y'know, it was just a squabble between boys," i said, which was technically the truth. "petty stuff."

"was it over a girl or something? i mean, i would assume that 'cause it was valentine's day."

the loudspeaker beeped. the bell was supposed to ring in a few more minutes, so my curiosity and attention fixed onto the announcement.

a man cleared his throat. it was mr conley. "as you probably heard, yesterday the english department hosted a love letter writing competition in celebration of valentine's day. all who participated are greatly appreciated. however, only one lovely couple was picked as the winners."

many shifted in their seats. everyone stopped talking. they were announcing the winners to the whole school? my heart began to beat fast, so i took a few deep breaths and hoped for the "worst" outcome.

"it was a tough decision. who knew this building was home to so many talented lovebirds! two in particular stood out to me, though. so... i'm honored to announce the winning couple, sophomores walker scobell and y/n l/n! congratulations. please come down to the main office and collect your prize."

the microphone sounded a faint click, the announcement ending. what followed was faint murmurs from my classmates, and a not so faint pounding heartbeat in my ears. a scorching sting went like chills down my body as heads turned to the back of the room.

i bit my cheek and kept my chin down. in the corner of my eye i saw that walker sat unmoving.

mrs fennel broke the uncomfortable silence with irritation. "well, why are you just sitting there? i need you back in time to start the lesson. don't dilly-dally."

i glanced at walker, and after a second of exchanging silent screams, we both got up, our chairs letting out bloodcurdling screeches against the tile. it was so obnoxiously loud in the tense air, as were our steps as we exited the classroom.

when we were in the hallway, i could still feel the stares. maybe that was walker -- he was indeed staring. he was trailing behind me, so i turned around and said, "that didn't go as planned."

"no big deal, right? the whole school thinking we're actually dating is just a little obstacle. we still got what we hoped for," he noted.

"yeah! totally," i said flatly as we made it to the first level. "but now people who had suspected it already, well, now their suspicions are confirmed."

"is that really so bad?" he said, coming up next to me. "it's not like we were exposed for being criminals."

"to a lot of people, i probably am like a criminal, taking you hostage. meanwhile, it's not even the truth! we aren't even dating--"

he put an index finger to his mouth, shushing me. i squinted at him, then realized we were right across from the main office. oh-- the money.

we hesitantly walked inside together. a few middle-aged women sat at their desks, some on the phone and others typing. their desks were all placed behind one long counter. on that counter were three envelopes. one read "walker and y/n" in cherry red script, another read "y/n" in his handwriting, and the last, "walker" in mine. my love letter was in there... crap. i was not intending for him to see that.

we approached the envelopes with a mix of curiosity and caution. "should we open the one from conley right now?" asked walker quietly.

"sure," i forced.

he took the one with the script and gently opened it. two fifty dollar bills slipped out as promised. but there was still something in there: a small note.

walker held it up and read it aloud to us. "when you two took a trip to my office, i knew what you were trying to do. but truly, your love letters to each other were like no book i've read before; no love letter either. they stood out to me. they were so thoughtful and genuine that it makes me want to start reading romance. it was clear that you guys have real feelings for each other. i hope you use this money to treat yourself to a date as lovely as you guys. happy valentines!"

he folded it back up and put it back into the envelope. "damn," he said.

"we must have been really convincing," i giggled.

"is this your letter?" he pointed to the one with his name on it. "i wanna see what he saw. if it's that good, i would just be missing out."

suddenly, i was a maraschino cherry. whether i liked it or not, he was going to read it now that it was right there in front of him. and he was going to either perceive it as my writing skills, or the truth. if that was happening, i figured that i should see what his letter was all about too.

"me too." i took the envelope labeled with my name and tore it open. he did the same with his. for a moment, the lined paper sat in my hands. then, i read it.

dear y/n,

if you ever read this, pretend it's not for some silly competition at school, the place i know you hate. but hey, we met here and i'm glad we did. we bonded over our mutual opinions and feelings toward that and so many other things like film. i feel very connected to you and i can tell you do too. i mean, we can basically communicate just with our eyes. it's kind of scary.

this is both a love letter and a thank you card. thank you for giving me something to look forward to every day. thank you for being my person and treating me like a normal one. you just get me, and i'm so grateful for that.

it was so hard for me to pretend not to have a huge crush on you. it's practice for acting i guess, but practice i don't want at all. i remember telling you and jordyn in gym class one time something along the lines of waiting for the future is regretful. and i was hypocritical because i waited so long to tell you my feelings, which i do regret.

there are also things i don't regret one bit, like almost getting sick and going out in the rain, cutting class, lying to my parents. it's all things that i shouldn't have been doing. but i did them with you.

i hope i can always share glances with you and have silent conversations. i hope i always beat you at thumb war and you always beat me in staring contests. i hope i can always make you smile and laugh. i hope i always know you.

yours, walker



we finished reading and then looked at each other at almost the exact same time. "damn," i said.

"we were really convincing. like, even i'm convinced that was true," he said, smirking.

i stared at him, the heartbeat sound making its unwanted return. this whole competition plan was screwed up. and a crazy part of me wanted to go even more off script.

walker hesitated. "is it true?"



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thank you for reading chapter 44!