CHAPTER SIX

if looks could kill

"that felt good to get off my chest." that was a lie. i had just told a whole load of personal feelings to a boy i just met three days ago. but i wasn't going to share more feelings now, like the sting of regret that was lingering in my chest. and i didn't feel better now that i said it. i feel like my feelings are now out there and real, not just some silly concept building up plaque in my brain.

"i'm glad. you sounded like you needed it," he cooed.

"anyway." i sighed and fiddled with my nails. "don't get me wrong, you're actually perfect for caleb."

"caleb? what, are you setting me up on a blind date with this dude?" he laughed.

"no! the main character in my film."

"oh...well don't get my hopes up."

"if i had time to film, i would get you in front of the camera in a heartbeat."

using his hands to paint a fantastical picture, walker proposed, "look, why don't we hang out after school today, get all of our homework done, and then read through the script. oh, and we could do chem homework at gym!"

i pondered this request. on one hand, there was the risk of falling into bad habits, and not being able to focus on homework because the walker scobell was in my house. but on the other hand, there was the obviously amazing sounding idea of starting to fall back in love with filmmaking, and inviting the walker scobell to my house. i liked the sound of the second option better.

i scrunched my nose up. "but what about..."

"come on," walker said, "i know you want to start filming."

before responding, i kept him looking at me for a few seconds as he waited. he just looked so... handsome, with his...everything. it was just some innocent admiring of beauty, as one would do in an art museum.

finally, i said, "okay. but what about maeve?"

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

maeve shrieked. "we're going to be hanging out with walker scobell today?" maeve jumped up and down with exhilaration. "oh! my! goodness!"

"girls, be quiet," demanded the balding teacher. it was partner work after the quiz, and when mr fennel pointed his hairy index finger, you knew he was serious.

i chose to not acknowledge him. baby steps, i thought, to when i can balance the happiness of my teachers and the people i actually care about. but i did actually need maeve to quiet down, because everyone was staring at us with intrigue. i tugged her arm and she finally sat down with pursed lips.

i had told her about the after school plans after i told her we needed to get as much homework done as possible that day, so i shoved my head in my papers. but this time it felt... different. like me doing my work was just to please a stinky old man that won't care if i get a good or bad grade, according to his high standards, unless it affected him.

"y/n?" someone unexpected was stood behind me: jake.

i turned around exaggeratedly slow, just to get back at him for making me wait years and years ago all alone at the park. "yes?"

"i was just, uh, wondering, uh, if you, uh," he, uh, said.

he looked almost exactly like the boy i kissed, just a little more awkward and a little less my type. this was the closest he's stood before me in a great amount of time -- which i was content about keeping my distance -- and he can't even get out a full sentence. how pathetic?

"i'm listening," i said.

"y/n, i was just wondering if you wanted to be my partner for the, uh, partner work."

i swung my head around to face maeve. could he not see my amazing, scrumptious, beauteous, radiant best friend right next to me? disrespectful. she gave him the dirtiest side eye i've ever seen, and validly.

"i already have one," i stated the obvious.

"why don't we catch up? it's been a while," he asked, nicely but pleadingly. i had to hold in laughter, because i thought for a moment he said: "it's been, uh, while."

i had to give the man credit for having the audacity to ask me this. but then i realized. "sorry, jake. but i need to get work done. i have plans after school."

"alright. maybe another time," he said cheerfully. yeah, right.

i waited until i heard his seat squeak against the tiles to look at maeve. she was fuming. if looks could kill, she would be on trial for the murder of a certain boy with floppy hair that resembles a thirteenth century little sickly boy. hmm, actually, maybe she wouldn't be responsible for his death -- i mean, he's already a ghost.

i knew that if i talked to her, she would be yelling. so i furtively pulled out my phone.

you

omg? what the actual hell?

maeve

i cannot believe that little bitch just did that.

i was right there!

i'm not invisible, right?

like, i know the lighting in here washes me out, but ???

you

i know! this just made him even worse in our eyes. probably not what he was going for.

plus, you'd think people'd mature since sixth grade.

maeve

ugh, and he was totally trying to hit on you!

you

bro really thought he had a chance. he's totally not my type anymore anyway.

maeve

oh? this is the first time i actually agree with you on who's cute. *cough* robert pattinson. *cough*

anywayyyy, let's see. what's your type now, miss i haven't kissed anyone since elementary school?

you

you already know i haven't had game since then because no one here is decently nice, which is my top priority.

but jake's not even cute, which is my second priority. that's why, miss maeve cullen, i fall so easily for actors. they have an idealized personality as their characters, and they have the looks. and the best part is i'll probably never meet these men any time, so i don't have to worry about their probably disappointing real personalities.

maeve

when i saw your fingers moving for that long, i knew i should have prepared myself for this essay.

also, you're lying to yourself. you're describing walker, silly. a cute actor who actually treats you like a human being? hello?

i shut off my phone, waiting for maeve to look back at me. when she did, she gave me a confused face. "what?"

"do i like him?"

"jake?" she whispered. "no way in hell."

"maeve, not him! ...do i like him?"

i saw her eyebrows go from deeply furrowed to raised in amusement. "ohhh... pffshh. yeah, obviously."

was it obvious? have i been making it obvious that i was attracted to walker? it's not like i have a crush on him. i just, i don't know, appreciate how he manages to lift my spirits whenever i see him, gaze at his god-like facial structure and physique, admire his stunning blue eyes, and lips that i imagine kissing multiple times a day, wonder what it would be like for him to save me from people like jake, imagine us cuddling while watching the films we make together... oh.

oh shit.

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thank you for reading chapter 6!