12 weeks pregnant------------

Lucy's pov:

It's been a few days since the gender reveal and the baby boys are the size of a Lime! Pretty crazy.

I still feel the small pain from time to time but it's lessoned thankfully.

I lay asleep dreaming about how fast our life is gonna change until I am jolted awake by something

I sit up in bed and pull the sheets back to reveal my worst nightmare.

A pool of blood. ⚠️Trigger warning ——————————————————

Lucy) "NO! No no no God no! TIMOTHY"

Tim's pov:

I jolt awake at the sound of my name and Lucy crying

I rub her arm still half asleep

Tim) "Babe what's wrong?"

I look down and see what she's talking about and reach for my phone fast and dial 911.

Lucy) "Tim... they're gone..."

My heart broke.

Tim) "We don't know that Luce. You can't think of the worst. Maybe its just a small problem but the babies are fine I'm sure. I'm still calling an ambulance though"

I hold her tight as we both cry and a few minutes later the ambulance gets here and loads her up I jump in with her and hold her hand and with the other hand text our Lapd group chat. All I felt like sending was "Pray hard" and then I silenced my phone for awhile. I played with her hair and all the sudden she passes out from either pain or a panic attack.

I sit almost in front of her and hold her face

Gosh it's so hard to be strong

Tim) "Luce? I need you to stay awake for me? Okay I need you to be okay!"

She slowly doesn't start waking up until we're in an emergency room.

They are scanning her, cleaning her up, hooking her up to wires and everything and all I can do is watch from afar. I lean against the wall on the ground.

30 or 45 mins later Lucy wakes up and I'm able to go to her side and we both just cry and let it all out. I think we both know what happened. ——————————————————

She is now back in a recovery room and we are both silent waiting for a Dr to come in and tell us anything.

Lucy) "Tim...I can feel it... I feel lighter.. something's happened."

I shake my head as tears fall down my eyes

Just then we hear a knock on the door and in comes this dr with a sad look on his face and my heart sinks

Lucy's pov:

Lucy) "Are they okay?"

Dr) "Mrs.Bradford.. Baby B is still okay... I'm so sorry but you've lost Baby A... we've taken care of everything and Baby A. I'll give you some time"

My world was crushed.

It was like the world stopped.

The Dr left us alone for awhile.

All Tim and I can do was hold each other and cry

I was no longer pregnant with twins.

One of our boys are dead.

I don't know how to keep on.

Yes I'm glad that Baby B is still okay..

But a part of me is forever gone.

I never even got to hold him.

Lucy) "Tim..."

I said in the smallest saddest voice as tears fall down my face

Tim) "I know Luce.. I'm here."

He kisses me

Lucy) "I knew I had a 10% chance of getting pregnant... I still got that chance and had complications... Maybe if I had not gotten pregnant everything would have been oka-"

Tim shook his head

Tim) "Stop it right now. It's not your fault. Our boys are strong and he's gonna keep on fighting. I believe that."

A couple hours later the Dr meets with us again

Dr) "I'm so sorry to have to keep coming in here. I just wanted to inform you that this was nothing you could of prevented. Nothing you did made this happen okay?. It was most likely from the bullet wound years ago. It messed up things a little bit. But I see no reason why baby B won't survive and you won't be able to have future kids. It just means that some of the process might be slightly harder. I don't think your body can handle multiples up to a certain point. And that's okay. I'm sorry we never saw that before. I suggest now that you're healed more to go to your home, or wherever you feel safest and taking some time to heal and get through this. You both will have to rely on each other and be there for one another. Your follow up appointment for Baby B is in 3 days. If either of you need anything we will be here."

Tim nods and he leaves us alone again.

Tim) "I don't think I can drive right now...I'm sorry."

I call Angela

She picks up as soon as it rings

Angela) "Lucy! Are you guys okay!? We saw the groupchat but no ones responding!"

I take a shaky breath before responding

Lucy) "..No... I'm not o-okay Ange...please come to the hospital and come up to room 209..and bring Gray.."

Angela) ".. I'm on it Lucy"

She says as I hang up the phone.

I knew Tim would feel better with Gray being here and I needed Angela.

Gray has always been the Father that Tim had never had. Angela has always been the Sister that I never had.

Them and Tim are the only ones I want by my side at this moment. ——————————————————

A while later Angela and Gray walk in . Angela looks at me with a confused and slightly sad face.

Tim) "We...we lost one.."

Both of their faces drop and Gray goes to hug a sobbing Tim tight. I don't think Gray has ever seen Tim cry.

Angela wraps me in a tight hug

Lucy) "It's not... Fair!"

Angela) 'Shh I know... Just remember y'all are strongest people I know. I'm so sorry and I'm here for you Luce...always... No matter what .is is."

Gray) "Tim.. you need anything we're right here. Don't worry about coming back to work for awhile, I got it covered."

Angela and Gray switch hugging us.

Tim's pov:

I see Angela walking up to me and I wipe the tears from my eyes and hug her tight.

Angela) "I love you Tim. Always will."

Tim) "I-I know. I love you t..too"

Gray sits on Lucy bed after she hugs her and looks at her tear stained, pained red eyes.

Gray) "What can we do for y'all? I heard y'all are getting dismissed soon. We will drive y'all home."

Tim) "Thank you..."

A few mins later I was wheelchaired out to Angela's car and Tim and I sit in the backseat. ——————————————————

The whole ride home I'm just looking out the window.

I haven't said anything. No one really has. Except an occasional glance or hand squeeze from Tim.

The world feels so dark now.

Even though I know I'm not alone I feel so alone.

As soon as we arrive at home we drag ourselves in and just look around and I spot our last twin ultrasound picture on the fridge.

Tim) " I'm gonna use the restroom."

I nod and as soon as he leaves me alone my head starts to hurt.

My hands are getting sweaty and the walls are caving in

I fall to my knees and scream-

——————————————————

⭐author note: I'm so sorry for doing this! I know it's not the most fun to read but it can be relatable to some people. It will get better I promise. If this is triggering to anybody I will not be offended if you skip over it! - J💕