63 - Don't cry

"I stood still, vision blurring, and at that moment, I heard my heartbreak. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem."

― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

. . .

ZAVIER CREED

I watched as Ashton blow-dried her hair. It was quite cold today. She was sitting on his lap as he worked and I watched, leaning against the door frame.

They looked so good together.

I wasn't jealous of my brothers but I did wonder at times which she had not picked just Ashton or Xerxes or both of them. I had raging anger issues. I wasn't gentle. I had never been gentle with her.

After he was done, he ran his hands through her hair and I walked out. Being away from her had fucked me up so bad. Not having her in front of me felt like not having her at all, even though I could call her anytime.

I walked into the garden. The rain was strong as I sat on a bench, under a shade.

After a while, I heard quick soft footsteps and then Kitten came into view wearing a large t-shirt and black sweats. She walked towards me. There was a permanent blush on her cheeks since before. She looked so fucking pretty.

"I didn't hug you," she mumbled.

I smiled. "Come here, Kitten." I sat her on my lap, smirking as she winced. I had seen her red ass. I would have done the same if I had come first. Yet, she would have punishment from me and Xerxes's too. Not today.

We weren't going to come this soon but I couldn't wait and Xerxes was not going to be left behind.

I tucked her to my chest, rubbing my hand up and down her back and she snuggled into my chest, wiggling to get comfortable which was not good for my cock which I had just handled in the shower but always came alive when she sat on my lap.

She didn't notice, she just snuggled into me as if I were her favorite teddy bear.

"I...missed you." She took my hand in hers hesitantly.

"You can take my hand anytime you want, kitten." I kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger. "And I missed you."

She smiled up at me. I smiled back and then we went back to watching the rainfall on the ugly ass garden the Valentinos had. They could have invested

in a gardener. "Zavier?"

"Yes, baby."

"I-I don't want to live here without you three," she mumbled. "Can't one of you stay here all the time? Taking turns?" She intertwined our fingers together, playing with my rings. "The Valentinos are...nice. Giovanni is cool, Dante is grumpy and Fabiano hates me. Miss Summers is good, Kylie is awesome...but I-I get lonely."

Fuck.

I sighed. "Kitten...we can try that but one Creed always being missing will raise suspicion."

She looked sad but she nodded. "Okay." She let go of my hand. I frowned at that but didn't know what to say.

There was one place in New York that no one knew about. My father was nothing if not a man of secrets.

His mansion, which now belonged to us, was the safest place in America. She'd be safe there from the Russians.

But I didn't know if she'd be safe there from us.

We lost it frequently but going to the mansion in which our mother had burned...it would fuck us up real good.

I held her but she didn't melt into me like she always did when she sat on my lap. She was stiff and then came the tears.

She had already been on edge because of what happened. It must have been emotionally draining and now this...

"Don't cry."

"I-I'm sorry." She hiccuped. "I'm sorry...I-I don't know why I'm crying." She sniffled and then hiccuped against, her bottom lip trembling as tears flowed out of her eyes.

Of course, she wasn't happy here.

She had shit to deal with, too. We should have thought about if she's okay here, too, when we thought of if she'd is safe here. Olivia was strong but she panicked on little things. She needed someone to take care of her and we should be here with her to take care of her.

She had always been scared of the Valentinos. Living with them would have been terrible or at least uncomfortable and I didn't want that for her.

"We'll figure something out," I promised, wiping the tears off her face. I hated her tears. Only loved them when she was crying because of a red ass. "Don't cry now." I cupped her face, making her look at me. "You're mine, kitten. I'll take care of you." She nodded jerkingly, putting her head into my neck and getting so close that I felt as if anyone were to take her from me, I'd hurt as if having my skin torn away. She had become a part of me, a sweet necessity...

A sinful addiction.

. . .

She showed me the sketch. "What do you think?" I looked down at the sketch.

We were alone in the house. Xerxes and Ashton were out at the house that we had here. We had to at least try to make it look like we weren't here because of something we were hiding. I was staying with Kitten and it had been a great day. I fed her the whole day, listened to her whine about getting fat as she stuffed her face with cupcakes, and then sleep on my chest. She had woken up and a few hours back and asked if she could sketch me.

I had said yes, of course.

The sketch was beautiful. She had made me sit on a stool and had sat across the kitchen island, wincing because of her ass, and then her little fingers had worked on the sketchbook for hours. I was allowed to be on my phone so I made a few clean business calls while she worked.

She had made my face, enhancing the edges and lines. My eyes looked...soft and there was a smile on my face. A smile which looked too genuine to be mine but I figured it was the one only she saw. I had my head tilted, a strand of my hair falling over my forehead.

I looked as harmless as a puppy.

The expression on my face was of a boy I had once been till the darkness of the world decided to embrace my brothers and me and the calmness of my life was plucked from my hands as of it were never mine.

She bought that calmness back. I picked her up and kissed her.

She kissed me back and I felt her smile into it, making my lips curve into a smile. I pulled back and she cheekily grinned at me.

"You like it!"

"I love it." I pecked her smile. And I love you.

. . .