80 - Tonight

"My lover asks me:

'What is the difference between me and the sky?'

The difference, my love, is that when you laugh, I forget about the sky. "

- Nizar Qabbani

. . .

I tried to get him off me but he was too strong. His hands gripped my wrists, pushing me to the ground, my eyes were filled with tears. My glasses were gone. I couldn't see yet somehow his eyes were painfully clear.

"So pretty." He slapped me hard across the face. I cried out, the inner skin of my cheek getting trapped between my teeth, blood pouring out of my mouth. His fist came down to my ribs and I could only muster up a whimper. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see anything but him.

"I will have fun with you, Woods." He ripped the upper part of my dress off me the cloth dug into my skin harshly.

Then, I heard a shout. "Get the fuck off her."

Brian was pushed off me by a blur. I blinked rapidly pushing myself against the wall and covering myself with my arms as I watched my father punch Brian again and again till his body went limp.

Then he got up.

And in his hand was a gun.

My wildly beating heart stilled for a moment. "Dad don't-"

He shot.

He collected me into his arms and we drove back home. An hour later he was arrested.

That was my sixteenth birthday.

. . .

I woke up gasping for breath. I was alone in my bed. I had fallen asleep after Zavier left to work out.

I clutched my head in my hands my nails digging into my skin as I sobbed.

I sobbed till I couldn't anymore. I sobbed till the burn in my heart calmed. They had come into the room. I was on one of their's lap yet I couldn't pay attention. My head was filled with panic.

I lost him that day.

I realized that I didn't lose him when he promised to ruin me. No, I lost him the day he shot Brian. I lost him the second he pointed that gun at Brian.

"Kitten?"

"Little love, Look at us." "Little one. Look up, come on."

I couldn't. They grabbed my hands pulled them say from my face. They pressed soft kisses on me, saying sweet praises as I calmed down. I was on Zavier's lap, Ashton and Xerxes were sitting nearby.

I looked at them through blurry eyes. Xerxes handed me my glasses which I wore and they became clearer.

"I'm s-sorry," I muttered, sniffling as Zavier wiped my tears away.

"Don't apologize." Zavier kisses my cheek. "Do you want to talk about it, baby?"

"The day dad killed Brian, it was my sixteen birthday." I took in a huge breath. "I used to love my birthday." I set my head against his chest closing my eyes and taking deep breaths as he rubbed my back in and down soothingly.

. . .

"Do you believe in God?" Ashton asked me as I pointed my nails sitting on his desk while he worked on his laptop.

I shook my head. "Nope. You?"

"No," he said. "My mother was catholic." "She was?"

He hummed, looking up at me. "Existence of God was the only thing she and I ever disagreed on."

I chuckled. "I can imagine you asking for proof."

"I did and mon gave me the bible, I read the whole thing." "Did you become a believer?"

He shook his head. "No. But I had a sudden interest in religion. I read religious texts from all the widespread religions. Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and many more. And I still don't get it - the need to have someone watching over you. I didn't understand what sort of comfort religion provided." He closed his laptop. "I never believed in anything I wasn't given proof for - Destiny, fate..." He stood up, pulling me to the edge of the counter. "Love." His eyes flickered over my face.

"Oh," I whispered. Had he heard me?

He hummed, coupling my face. "Religion, Destiny, fate, love - I considered all of this bullshit - just a means to control people, just a means to scare them into self-built cages..." His thumb brushed over its cheekbone. "Then I met you."

He came closer, the tip of his nose brushing with mine. "Now you, my little one, are my religion." He kissed along my neck, my eyes dropped. "My destiny." He nipped gently. "My fate." He kissed my jaw. "My love." He kissed me. "I love you, too," he whispered against my lips. He kissed me deeply and I melted into him as my head went on high alert.

I love you, too.

He had heard me.

He didn't ask me to say it. He just kissed me till we both were out of breath and then kissed me a little more.

His fingers brushed on my neck. "Mine?"

I nodded the answer falling from my lips naturally. "Yours." Then I asked something I hadn't yet.

"M-Mine?" I whispered, hands clutching the material of his shirt. He smiled, kissing my cheek again. "Yours."

. . .

I looked at the multiple boxes on the floor of my bedroom. Some were on the bed and they read -

Wear this. Get ready till seven.

It was four right now.

I grabbed one of the boxes, opening it. Inside was a dress.

I took it out.

It was a whine-colored dress with flowers embroidered into it with golden thread on the edges of the slit. The flowers were small and beautiful and the material was so soft that my hands felt like touching a cloud.

The next box had heels of the same color as the dress.

The next one had a thin diamond necklace and earrings. And then the next one...had questionable lingerie.

I picked it up. Those weren't panties. It was a g string.

I bit my lip and looked at the bra, it was nothing but a scrap of soft lacy cloth.

One thing was clear...

They had something planned for tonight.

. . .