A panicked look reflecting in his eyes, lips curved into a worried frown; has Utari ever worn such an expression? For a moment there, you had thought your brain was imagining the idol in front of you. You stared back at him with a dazed and exhausted expression. If you had known using the feature would leave such a toll on you, you would've done it at home. It was a miracle that nothing bad happened to your body.

Then, I guess I should be glad that Utari found me, huh?

When Utari realised that you had come to your senses, he immediately asked, "(L/n)-san, are you okay? Can you hear me? What happened?"

"I can hear you, but uh...I feel really tired."

"Hold on, there's a convenient store nearby. I can get you some water at least. I'll help you up, hold onto me."

On normal occasions, you'd probably refuse the male's help. However, in your current state, you were more than happy to accept his offer. Utari helped you up and he carefully placed your arm over his shoulder. You were surprised at how gentle and cautious he was when he led you to a nearby bench.

"I feel a little nervous about leaving you here alone, but hang tight, okay? I'll be back."

When the male left, you leaned your head back and let out a much needed sigh. If you had the energy to, you would've screamed at the sky how drained your body felt. The temptation to shut your eyes and enter a deep sleep right now was stronger than you'd like, challenging that urge was a battle in and off itself.

Holy heck, that was a lot to take in.

Utari's past was still fresh in your mind, but there was just so much that you weren't able to properly comprehend everything in the present moment. It was like someone had a jar of Utari's past broken into fragments and had sporadically scattered the pieces in your head.

You couldn't recall everything in chronological order, but the major events remained prominent in your mind. If you tried hard enough, you'd probably recall certain details. Should you buy a notebook to document everything? It sounded a little odd and you were scared of the risk of someone finding out, but there was no way that you were going to get through this relying on just your memory.

Not to mention, your thoughts and emotions regarding the idol were a complete wreck as of right now. Facing Utari so soon didn't help as well. You weren't even sure how to act around him. You felt sympathy, you felt anger, you felt confusion, you felt so many things at once.

"I'm back."

You sat up properly on the bench and Utari handed you a bottle of water. You quietly thanked the male and raised an eyebrow when you noticed him just standing in front of you. Judging from his quiet pants, he probably ran to get you the water. Shuffling over, you said, "Uhm, you can sit next to me if you want. I feel weird having you just stand there."

"Oh! Okay, thanks."

As you drank the water, the idol took a seat beside you. You didn't pay much mind to him, well, it was more like you couldn't really bring yourself to face him right now. Letting out a very long sigh of content, you felt miles better now that you were hydrated.

The air was quiet, and you embraced the peacefulness of it all. You didn't make an effort to break the silence and you appreciated Utari for doing the same. After an unknown amount of time passed, you heard the idol whisper under his breath.

"This feels familiar, huh?"

You glanced over to him. "Like the time when we first met?"

His eyes widened and he turned his head towards you. "You remembered?"

You looked away from him and stared at the bottle in your hands, eyes focused on the transparent liquid as an excuse to not face the idol. You were pretty sure one vulnerable expression from the male was enough to send your emotions flying.

"Remembered, huh? I guess you could say that..." you mumbled. Ah, you should probably stop talking. You might end up regretting it later.

Since you couldn't see his expression, you weren't sure how the male took your words. There was a long silence before Utari spoke up, "What happened?"

You laughed softly. "Who knows."

"(L/n)-san, look at me."

Your body tensed a little at the firmness in his voice and you hesitantly met the idol's face. He didn't appear to be angry, but the typical amiable look on his expression wasn't there either.

"Did you know how worried I was when I saw you unconscious? Especially since I wasn't able to wake you up. You need to be more careful, what if something had happened to you––"

The male's voice progressively grew louder as he spoke. When he realised that, he paused abruptly and an apologetic look crossed his countenance. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to lecture you. I was just...worried. As hard as that is to believe." He chuckled bitterly. "But, really, what happened?"

Speechless at his concern for you, you had almost forgotten to reply to him. "I guess...I was overwhelmed. Stressed,maybe? It was probably a lack of sleep and I passed out because of that. Sorry if it's vague."

Utari nodded in understanding. He didn't pry for answers or seemed exasperated by your response. He simply respected your privacy. Was it because you had witnessed his past, or did the male feel different to you now?

The silence continued and you took the opportunity to sort out your thoughts; things such as what you were going to do with the information, what were your views on Utari now, and what were you going to go from here on out.

"...Hey, Utari-san."

The male perked up at your voice, it seemed like he was also lost in his thoughts as well. "Hm? What is it?"

"If I asked you to be friends with me, what would you say?" You looked at him directly in the eye. "Friends with the me you see now with no bias feelings attached from the past. Would you do it?"

The male was silent at your words, a startled look on his expression. He looked like he wanted to give you an immediate response, but struggled to find the words to do so. Your question definitely caught him off guard. You weren't surprised, even you weren't sure where you were going with this.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've overlooked what you've done to me," you clarified. "What I'm saying is, I don't want to continue the school year with this tension between us. So, can we put everything behind and maybe start again?"

You were still shaken with emotions after witnessing his past so your heart was trying to take control of your decisions while overshadowing your rationale.

You weren't some perfect human being who could melt away someone's flaws through kindness and warmth. You didn't know how to help Utari with his insecurities, his toxic train of thoughts, his doubts in himself, his self-decrepitation. Knowing his past didn't give you the ability to solve his problems.

But, you still had a sympathetic side to you. And, though you weren't someone who could help Utari with his issues, you were someone who understood him a bit better than most. You could understand where he was coming from, you could understand the reasons behind his action, and you didn't want to continuously be wary of him anymore because of that. You just didn't want to associate hateful feelings with him anymore.

Your offer of friendship was a result of your thoughts. You didn't know if it was the right move, but it was what you wanted to do at the moment.

"(L/n)-san, I never thought I'd hear those words from you." He chuckled. "I...I don't tend to reflect back on the past, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to be friends with you."

Okay, ouch.

"Oh! But, don't take it the wrong way!" Utari quickly said. "I just––are you sure you would want to be friends with someone like me?

"Utari-san, you have actively tried to ruin my reputation, tried framing me for vandalising Aimi-san's desk, and have confused me to no ends with your actions," you said. "I think I know what I'm getting into."

The male quietly chuckled; it was brief, but it was the most honest chuckle you've ever heard from him. "This is an interesting offer of friendship."

"Doesn't it tempt you?"

"I..." The male looked off to the side. "Yeah, it's pretty tempting. But, I don't exactly have much to offer."

"Dude, you're making this so complicated. Take my friendship, dammit. It's not that hard."

This time, the male laughed aloud. You were surprised at the sound; you knew his laughs had a euphonious sound to it. He always forced it in front of others, after all. However, hearing when it wasn't staged was a completely different experience. It sounded pleasant and simple, you'd like to hear him laugh like this more often.

"I'm sorry, it's just––that caught me a little off guard," he said. "But, if I'm going to be honest here, I'm a little scared to."

"Scared? Of me?"

"No, not of you. It's just..." He paused. "Sorry, I've never talked about this with anyone, so it's kind of hard to put it into words."

You nodded. "Take your time."

There was a long silence that followed afterwards and you patiently waited until Utari was ready to speak. You could roughly assume what was going through his mind, but you could only imagine how difficult it was for him to try and open up.

"...I guess, I just don't think I deserve it. I'm not a good person, I'm dishonest and I can't deny that my thoughts and motives can be very selfish at times. So, you offering an honest friendship, I...I feel like I'd ruin it." He chuckled bitterly. "Sorry, I'm probably being dramatic, huh?"

Your heart twisted a little in guilt, you had an idea of the series of events that led up to that mindset. There are so many things you wanted to say to him, but so little that you could say without revealing your knowledge of his past.

"You're not being dramatic. I think the problem lies here." You tapped your temple. "Your own head. How you talk to yourself and what thoughts you accept to sit in your mind can impact how you view things. Depending on how you handle it, it can distort your views on things.

Such as how if you always allow yourself to succumb to negativity it will be inevitable that you'll start to view yourself pessimistically without realising that it might just be all in your head. You'll adapt to those toxic thoughts and develop a very unhealthy mindset."

When you finished, you looked at the idol in anticipation, hoping you didn't say too much or that your words came across in the wrong way. Utari didn't respond and a contemplative look reflected in his eyes. The more the silence progressed, the more nervous you got.

"It's weird. Hearing those words come from someone else makes it seem so obvious," he said, voice quieter than usual. "I never realised...no, I did realise. It's just––I..." The male sighed. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"Well, I'd be surprised if you suddenly were sure just from hearing a couple of words from me. I'm not shaming you for it, it's not like you asked for those flaws. The first step is acknowledging your problem, then you can make steps to improve," you replied before giving him a small smile. "I don't mind helping as a friend."

Utari looked at you in surprise before he averted his gaze away from you. "You really don't?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper. "You'll be so much better off––"

"Aight, stop right there. Let's push aside the complicated thoughts and take it slow."

You assume a part of why Utari was so hesitant on becoming friends with you was because you played a role in his past, a past he wanted to forget. That was why you proposed to start over. You weren't saying that he should always actively avoid his past, but you needed to start somewhere. Plus, you didn't want to rely on the relationship Utari had with the past (Y/n) to help you in befriending him.

"Normally, I'd say no but...I can't deny that I do want to be friends with you. I can't explain it, but I feel like I'll regret walking away." He looked at you and smiled warmly. "I said that we were similar, but I realised now how wrong I was. You're so much better than me."

This time, you were the one having a hard time responding. "Not sure if I'd say I'm better than you." After all, you didn't even know who you were in your past life. "But, thanks. Boosted my ego a little."

Utari laughed and reached into his pocket. Taking out his phone, he said to you, "should we exchange numbers then?"

You mentally high fived yourself at successfully befriending the male as you exchanged numbers with him. For some reason, you felt happy at that. It's not like you've forgotten everything he did to you, but you supposed you were glad that you didn't have to worry about feeling tense around the male anymore.

And, who knows? Maybe, despite everything, he can be a good friend that'll help you get through his hell of a game.

"Oh, Utari––"

"Kashi." The male chuckled at your confused expression. "Just call me by my first name."

"Well––uh, feel free to just call me (Y/n) then," you said. "So, Kashi, feel honored. You're like one of the few that are added as my contacts."

Kashi tilted his head. "I thought you were friends with Kasumi-san?"

"Yeah, about that. I'm pretty sure she hates me right now."

"Why?"

You didn't think it was a good idea to bring up the incident at the rooftop. "I said some stuff and I'm pretty sure she took it more to heart than I thought."

"Well, there's not much you can do about it. There's no point in trying to befriend her."

The way he worded his sentence didn't settle right with you, however, you couldn't exactly say that you completely disagreed with him. You even said so yourself that you had bigger things to focus on other than trying to befriend her, especially if you didn't understand why she was so hostile to you.

But, why did you feel so bothered by it?

"Hey, Kashi. Do you hate Kasumi-san?"

Surprised at your sudden question, the male replied, "why did you ask?"

"Well, you always emphasise how much of a bad person she is and how I shouldn't stick around her. So, do you?"

Truth be told, you already knew why Kashi disliked Kasumi. You found out when experiencing his past, after all. But, you wondered what kind of response he would give you.

"Well, I..." He sighed. "For some reason, lying to you feels really hard right now. I don't hate her because of her bad reputation or her personality despite what I said to you before. It's just...she keeps bringing up my past and..."

"You're uncomfortable with it?" The male nodded while you considered his words. "Here's the thing about Kasumi-san, I find her personality to be kind of refreshing."

"What do you mean?"

"She's straight forward and she gets to the point. Talking with her is quick and there's no beating around the bush," you explained. "So, here's what I think you should do. Be straightforward as well. I have a feeling she's so persistent with you is because you keep avoiding or giving her vague answers. So, just tell her that you don't want to talk about it. You don't have to explain anything, just be honest with that fact and she won't have a need to keep approaching you."

Kashi looked at you in awe. "...I'll keep that in mind. You know some pretty good advice, huh?"

"See what being friends with me grants?" you said playfully. "If only I had some good advice for myself."

"Advice for what?"

Hundreds of things, but if you had to share one particular issue with Kashi, it'll be––

"Shichirou-san."

"Ah, I see where you're coming from."

"You hate him too?"

"I wouldn't use the word hate. Considering my own personality, it'll be hypocritical of me to hate someone like Shichirou-san," he said. "However, he does bother me. Especially when he questioned me during lunch. He really has a way with words, especially when he was trying to figure out what was going on with you and I."

That's what he was doing? You had no idea, you just assumed Shichirou wanted to find out more about Kashi himself. "Well, I just hate him." You huffed. "God, I want to smack that arrogant smile off his face to the moon."

Kashi laughed. "Did you feel that way about me as well?"

"At one point, yeah."

"Ouch, that was blunt."

"Take it or leave it."

The male chuckled and you couldn't help but do the same. It was refreshing interacting with the idol so freely.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?" he asked.

You leaned back in your bench and a contemplative hum escaped your lips. "In a way, he's challenging me? I honestly don't know his motives in detail, but it feels like a game of who can one up the other better," you said with an exhausted sigh.

"Well, I have your back whenever you need me," Kashi said. "I'm not sure how much of a help I'll be, but I'll do what I can."

For the remainder of the time, Kashi listened to you rant about how much of a pain Shichirou was. The idol noted that you were very passionate when it came to trash talking the purple haired male and you couldn't say that he was wrong. Eventually, the two of you had to part ways. You waved goodbye to him, for once leaving the idol with a good impression of him in your mind. Though you were still tired, you felt much better now that you've cleared things up with him.



===



As soon as you got home, you had immediately collapsed onto your bed. You opted to take a quick nap and, before you knew it, you had woken up the next day. Thankfully, you weren't late for school, but you certainly didn't have enough time to write down notes on Kashi's past like you said you would.

So, here you were in class trying to dodge the teacher's watchful eye as you wrote down notes that collected your thoughts together. On the off chance that you were caught by the teacher or someone happened to somehow access your notes, you wrote it in a way that you could play off as if you were planning for a novel.

You still couldn't believe how little time had passed ever since you came into this world. With so much going on, you would've thought a month had passed. But, it was barely a week. Monday april 20th, that was when you first woke up here. And, today was Friday april 24th.

Going through that fact only made you dread the year more. You hoped that there would be a period where you would be given a break or something. You weren't sure if you could put up with this consistently for an entire year.

You subtly glanced up at the teacher to check where she was. She was walking around as she read out a textbook and was currently on the other side of the room. You confirmed that it was safe to continue for a while longer and tore your gaze away. However, as you were doing so, you happened to meet a certain idol's gaze.

Kashi blinked in surprise before he cheerfully smiled and discreetly waved at you.

"How are you feeling?" he mouthed.

"Don't feel like collapsing on the side of the road anymore," you mouthed back.

You could tell he was trying to stifle his chuckle. "Good. Be careful, okay?"

The male then looked away and focused back on his work before the two of you could get caught by the teacher. You also looked back to your work, lips curving into a small smile. It was nice having someone worry over you, even if they didn't know your situation in detail. Who would've thought it would be Kashi.

Your sights then drifted upfront in which you happened to land your gaze on Aimi. At the sight of her, you recalled what she had said to Kashi. That's right, didn't she mention something along the lines of him staying away from you?

And, apparently she was focused on me during the karaoke session.

She was the heroine of this world, right? There's no way she could see you as competition. Maybe it wasn't anything important? You haven't interacted with the female much so it was hard to draw conclusions.

I'll try befriending her. I said I'll do so before to get an idea of her relationship with the male leads anyways. Considering that the male leads were supposed to kill for her affection, you'll be careful as to not get too close to her. The last thing you wanted was to die twice.

Finally, the bell for the end of class rang and you were more than eager to get up and leave. Stuffing your items in your bag, you quickly tried to catch up to the blonde. You managed to get to her before she left the classroom.

"Aimi-san! Want to head to lunch together?"

The female flinched in surprise. "(L-L/n)-san?" She seemed to be speechless by your presence and when she realised that your question wasn't answered, she quickly said, "Oh, r-right. Lunch, yes. I'd love to!"

You smiled. "Cool! Let's go then."

Posture straight, body stiff, a nervous yet bashful look affixed to her expression, blue eyes occasionally glancing at you before quickly looking away when you looked back at her; it was safe to say that you were very confused with the female's behaviour around you.

"So, I heard that you got into this school because of a scholarship?" you asked, trying to keep a conversation flowing.

"Oh! Y-yes, that's right," she stammered. "It's not very impressive, huh?"

"Not impressive? Scholarships exist for people who are impressive." You managed a soft chuckle to lighten the mood. "It was for performing arts, right? What do you do?"

The female sheepishly smiled. "Ah, it's mainly for classical music. I won a few competitions with my violin and piano skills and I guess it was good enough."

You nodded. "What do your parents think?"

"A-ah, my parents are out of the picture. I grew up with my grandparents."

You paused, you hadn't expected to run into a sensitive topic so soon and you didn't know how to react to it. "Oh, I'm sorry for bringing that up."

Aimi shook her head. "Don't feel bad about bringing it up! I don't have any memories of my parents so it's not a sensitive topic to me," she reassured you. "Uhm, (L/n)-san. Have you joined any clubs?"

Clubs. You kind of kept them in the back of your mind. You had considered joining one on day one, but the thing was that people expected you to join the cooking club. In fact, members of the cooking club had asked you to join on several occasions. You weren't sure of your abilities, so you declined. The last thing you needed was to unnecessarily embarrass yourself.

Luckily, clubs weren't a compulsory thing here. However, it was heavily encouraged to join one. Especially in a school where connections were the foundation of your experience and reputation.

"No, I haven't joined any yet," you replied. "Are you in one?"

"Ah, I'm in the music club. The same one as Utari-san."

Makes sense for Utari to be in the music club. Since Aimi was in the same club as him, you wonder how much their relationship has progressed. "Seems fun. How is it there?"

"Well, a lot of people joined because Utari-san is there. We also get interrupted by a lot by other clubs that stop by to talk to him," Aimi said. "It's hard to practice, but I can't complain when everyone seems to be having so much fun."

A kind heart, as expected of the heroine. "Hm, but wouldn't it be a problem if it hinders practice?"

"That's what I was worried about too since there were members of the club who genuinely wanted to practice, but Utari-san was able to handle the situation," she explained. "He's pretty amazing, isn't he?"

You nodded, unsure of what to make of that question. "Well, I guess that's why––"

"Aimi-san? Oh, what a surprise. (L/n)-san is here as well."

You internally groaned to yourself. There was only one voice that had the ability to immediately instil dread within you.

"Shichirou-san!" Aimi exclaimed happily. "It's nice to see you."

"Would you like to join me for lunch? I plan to sit with a few others as well."

You briefly glanced over to Aimi. "We'll pass––"

"Of course!" The blonde sent an apologetic smile your way. "Sorry, (L/n)-san. I couldn't help myself."

"Oh, no it's fine," you said. You were planning to talk to Aimi more during lunch, but you supposed it can be done at another time. Shichirou was also someone you needed to keep an eye on anyway.

A few students approached Shichirou and asked if he was coming. The male gave his usual princely smile before saying, "I'll be right there, Aimi-san will also be joining us."

You watched as Shichirou politely gestured Aimi to walk on ahead and joined the other students. He slipped in one last glance at you before walking on ahead, a ghost of an amused smile on his lips after turning away from you. You hid your embarrassment and disbelief by digging your nails into your palms. Leave it to Shichirou to turn a minor incident into something that can absolutely get on your nerves.

With a sigh, just as you were planning to just spend lunch in the library, you felt someone tap you on the shoulder. You almost jumped in surprise at the sudden contact and swiftly turned your head around.

"Utari-san?" You and Kashi had messaged each other before school and agreed that at school you'll address each other by your last names to avoid any rumours or assumptions.

"(L/n)-san!" he exclaimed, face bright and cheerful. "Let's go eat lunch together."

The male purposefully said the last part a little louder and it captured the attention of the students who were accompanying Shichirou. They turned around and their eyes lit up at the sight of their favourite idol.

"Utari-kun is eating with (L/n)-san? Man, I want to join."

"Should we ask?"

"Ah, but I also want to be with Shichirou-san..."

"I said I had your back, right?" Kashi whispered. You quickly caught onto what the male was doing and you showed him a thankful smile.

"How about we all sit together?" you suggested.

The students agreed feverishly at your suggestion and they immediately invited both you and Kashi into their group. While that was happening, you couldn't stop your petty side from smiling triumphantly at Shichirou.

Eventually, you settled on a table. You were seated on the edge next to Kashi. Unlike last time, instead of apprehension, the male's presence brought relief to you. You had your lunch while interacting with the students and keeping a close eye on Aimi and Shichirou.

Ah, Hayami-san's here as well. Another person to keep in the back of your mind. She was sitting next to Shichirou, face apathetic as she made no efforts to join into the conversations.

"Hm? Shichirou-kun, where are you going?" one of the students questioned.

"Ah, I remembered that I had a few things to do," he said. "I'll be leaving first, okay?"

You glanced over to the male at that and your eyebrows knitted together in suspicion. It wasn't like he said anything wrong, the guy could literally breathe and you'd take it as a threat. Kashi looked over to you, his expression silently communicating whether you wanted to go after Shichirou or not.

At times like this, you were grateful for Kashi's exceptionally observant eye. You mouthed a discreet yes and the male nodded.

"(L/n)-san, didn't you also have something to do?" he asked, voice innocent and acting flawless.

You blinked in surprise and pretended to think for a moment. "What do you mean––oh! You're right." You hastily grabbed your bag. "Sorry, guys. I forgot that I planned to return a book to the library. I'll be going off first as well."

"In that case, would you like to walk out with me?" Shichirou asked, a considerate smile on his face.

"Yup, sounds good to me."

No suspicion was garnered and all the students nodded understandingly. You mentally thanked Kashi for his assistance as you walked out of the cafeteria with Shichirou. As soon as the two of you exited the place and the lively conversations from the students began to sound more faint, a rigid atmosphere slowly crept into the air between you and Shichirou.

Suddenly, the male stopped and he looked over to you; a smile still on his face, but one devoid of warmth and amability. You could clearly feel the unwelcoming demeanor he had around him.

"I'm assuming that that there is no book to return?"

You stopped walking a little ahead of him. Turning around, you smiled. "You couldn't be more correct."



Shichirou:

(Y/n): And I took that personally