Conflicted––yeah, the word was about right. It perfectly described how you were feeling as of right now.

You flipped the light switch on, closed the door to your bedroom, then flopped onto your bed. Minimal light filtered through your windows and the soft pitter patter of rain from outside evinced your exhaustion. You fought valiantly against the urge to pass out right then and there.

After hearing Seiji's explaination, you were balancing precariously on the fence between feeling relieved that he had good intentions and feeling suspicious because he had good intentions. He explained everything to you with such genuinity and displayed no shred of embarrassment when he proclaimed that he wanted to help you because he treasured you dearly as a friend. You were caught off guard and, dare you say, was a little flustered as well. Just recalling it made you want to shove your face in a pillow.

After wrapping up his explanation, Seiji looked at you with a bright smile.

"Any questions?"

His expectant eyes almost successfully pressured you to give a response right then and there. While processing the information, your gaze drifted to the untouched snacks. You kind of felt bad for not taking one.

"How are you planning to help me?"

Seiji held up two fingers. "A second perspective on things. If you want to prevent deaths, wouldn't predicting someone's actions be the first step? I'd like to think I'm good at giving people the benefit of the doubt."

"Benefit of the doubt?"

"You can predict a lot about someone's actions if you try to empathise with them, even if just a little," he explained. "Plus, isn't it good to discuss your thoughts with someone? I'm a great listener."

To be fair, he had a point. Being able to have a second perspective can help reduce any doubts, and overall having someone you could openly share your own thoughts will lower your stress. However, you were hesitant to just readily trust him.

Seiji must've gotten the hint from your silence. He gave you an understanding look.

"You don't trust me, right?"

"Can you blame me?"

There wasn't a hint of offence in his expression. "Nope, it makes sense given your situation. What can I do to earn your trust?"

What a straightforward question. "Uh, not betray me?"

He chuckled. "Then, I'll need to stick by your side, right?"

"Nah, just stay fifty kilometres away and occasionally send me thumbs up for encouragement."

"Roger that."

You laughed softly, but then paused. You came here for a serious talk and even prepared yourself to throw hands if needed, but here you were conversing with Seiji as if it were any regular day.

"On a serious note, just let me stay by your side, okay?" He winked. "I'll earn that trust of yours."

If Seiji were to have malicious intentions, what would they be? What would he gain from manipulating you and earning your trust?

You sighed and rolled onto your back. The thin light glared down and you placed a hand over your face to save your eyes from the strain. If someone were to walk in at this moment, they'd think you were having a melodramatic moment.

"Guess there's no harm in keeping him by my side for now," you mumbled.

With a snap of your fingers, you summoned the holographic screen.

[ Memory unlocked: (Y/n)'s Past ]

Might as well check out the previous (Y/n)'s past while you were at it. It might give you some more clues on how to deal with Genji. Plus, extra context never hurts anyone, probably. You settled more comfortably in your bed and pressed to unlock her past.

As expected, drowsiness overcame you and you were lulled to sleep.



===



There was something odd about this memory. Normally, you'd watch everything from the perspective of an outsider; someone looking into a scene as if watching a movie. This time, however, you could physically feel yourself.

The sudden immersion felt like being submerged into a cold body of water, causing you to be dilatory in registering where you were or what was going on. Looking up, you saw a student was sitting on the desk, legs crossed over and a notebook in her hands. She had a sickeningly vivacious smile you wouldn't even think twice to slap off.

"Pft, what are you looking at?" Her tone was amused, layered with belittlement. "It's just some harmless fun, stop being overdramatic."

The urge to insult her was chased down into your throat. Instead, a meek and timid voice left your lips; caution coated within each syllable.

"It's fine..."

That wasn't your doing, but it was clearly your voice. Quickly, two and two were put together. You were currently experiencing the memory in the perspective of the previous (Y/n).

Then, your mind was wired to echo these thoughts.

I can always make another one.

Normally, you'd feel frustrated, annoyed at the student. But your emotions were interfered to match with the previous (Y/n). What you––what she felt was helplessness, exhaustion, intimidation; she wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground and disappear. It was a horrible, horrible feeling.

To distract yourself from these emotions, you tried piecing together what was happening. First off, the setting was an unfamiliar classroom. There was the girl in front of you and two others sitting on the neighbouring desks wearing a uniform that you didn't recognise. Time of the day? Judging from where the sun was and the quiet nature of the environment, you assumed it was after school.

And the situation you were currently experiencing? You were definitely getting bullied. Judging from the memories you've received that revealed the past (Y/n)'s behaviour along with the information you gathered from others, you weren't surprised this was happening to you.

A scoff snapped you back to the scene like a harsh tug of a hair. The urge to roll your eyes was significant, but you weren't able to do it.

Student number one said, "Geez, have more of a reaction!"

"Right? Lash out or something, it'd be funny on camera," student number two added.

Then, student number one again. "Pft, maybe I can send it to Ryuu."

Ryuu? That name rings a bell. Wait, was that Genji's first name?

"Ew, why would he want to see a video of her?" And that was student number three, the one seated in the middle. She covered her mouth and feigned a shocked look. "Oh! Sorry, I forgot you two were dating. Disregard!"

"Dating? More like a side chick. Actually, even that's too much. Do you know how many girls he cheated on her with?"

Those words meant nothing to you, but to the previous (Y/n) they stung. But it was odd, it didn't sting due to anger, frustration, or betrayal. She knew that Genji cheated on her and she wasn't mad at that. The words stung because she felt inadequate.

Don't tell me... she's not sad that Genji cheated on her, but because she wasn't good enough?

Interrupting the students, a figure entered the classroom. Ah, speak of the devil. It was Genji. He really didn't change much, huh? Kashi had his hair dyed blue and grew it out so he could braid it. Genji had the same short red hair, rose pink eyes, arrogant smirk, and demeanour like he owned the place. You felt annoyed, but the previous (Y/n) felt relief and a small smile was on her lips.

"Ryuu..."

Briefly, he made eye contact with you. After a small nod of acknowledgement, he walked past you and sat next to the girl on the desk. She giggled and fluttered her fake eyelashes, ones that looked more like spider legs than eyelashes, and shuffled closer to him.

"Oh, hey (Y/n)," he said. "I didn't know you were friends with em."

Clearly, I am not.

"I... Well..."

Genji noticed the notebook the student next to him was holding. "What's this?"

"Just some dumb doodles," the girl scoffed, looking at her nails. "Here, you can see what's in it."

Genji hummed and flipped through the pages. "Were you designing pastries?"

You nodded. "I... uhm. I was planning to bake something for you."

"Oh? Sounds good. What is it?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise."

"A surprise?" He grinned. "The suspense is killing me. Here."

Genji held out the notebook for you to take. Warmth suffused your heart (much to your demise) as you reached out for it.

"Thank you––"

Before you could grab the notebook, the girl snatched it off Genji's grasp and ripped the notebook in front of you. The sound of paper shredding lacerated through the silence, disbelief suspended your movements. You turned to Genji. Somewhere in there, you could hear, live, breathe, feel what the previous (Y/n) was desperately hoping for.

Stand up for me. Say something.

It was as simple as that.

But what left his mouth shattered that hope. "Aw, c'mon. That was kinda mean."

A joke.

What would've meant so much to the previous (Y/n) was brushed off as a joke. The student had ripped up someone's property and likely had invested hours of work into––Genji treated it as something frivolous. Heck, it wasn't just that. He was being completely passive despite the obvious bullying going on.

When you made eye contact with him, your gaze was dodged. Some boyfriend you are. Yes, Genji didn't partake in the bullying, but he sure wasn't helping one single bit. If he always treated the previous (Y/n) like this, why the hell is she still with him? Seriously, just what did she see in him?! It was so frustrating being unable to slap the shit out of him at this moment.

The girl who ripped the notebook laughed and the air grew dense with snickers from her friends.

"Sorry, sorry. Here, want it back?" As you tried reaching out for the shredded notebook, she purposefully dropped it. "Whoops~ It slipped."

"It's..." You swallowed, voice almost breaking. "It's fine."

The student narrowed her eyes and jumped off her desk. "That's it?" She seethed, her tone dropped to a level of animosity as if you were the one who did something wrong. "God, why are you so boring? You're wasting my time."

You took a step back. "I..."

Suddenly, the girl grabbed your hair. "Speak up! Do you think I can hear you?!"

A hand grabbed onto the student's arm. Specifically, Genji's hand. "Hey, now. No violence."

The student shot him a questioning glance. Before she could protest, the redhead smoothly pulled you close to him, a light pat on your shoulder. You fought back the sense of reassurance the previous (Y/n) felt.

"Anyways~ I'll walk you home, (Y/n)," Genji said with a hum. "Let's get going."

The girls called out for him, a querulous a mix of 'why bother going with her?' and 'she's a waste of your time!' Genji waved goodbye playfully and left the classroom without responding to those remarks. Silence uncomfortably stifled the hallway the two of you walked in.

"You should've said something back," Genji spoke up. "It's not like the girls are that scary. A little insult or two here and there won't hurt."

"S-sorry, it's just... I find it hard to do that."

"Ohh, is it because they're influential and what not? It's fine, just insult them however you want. I'll deal with the aftermath."

You shook your head and showed him a soft smile. "There's no need for that, you'll come save me anyway."

What did I––what did she say? Hello? Previous (Y/n), are we going to ignore the fact that he literally watched as a girl rip up your notebook? The flags are redder than his hair!

Genji was quiet for a moment. "I won't always be here, you know. Seriously."

"I––"

"You can't always rely on others."

"But..."

Genji sighed and ruffled your hair. "Nevermind. So, where do you wanna hang out?"

Those were the last words you heard before your vision descended into darkness. A flicker of relief was lit within you since the memory was over. Well, that was what you thought. That relief was quickly extinguished when you found yourself thrown into another scene.

The onslaught of new sounds was jarring against your ear and newfound pain coursed through your body struck you abruptly. A kick to your stomach was enough to shock you into properly comprehending the situation. A dirty concrete ground, body aching in every limb, mind in a languid state. You couldn't move. A hand roughly grabbed your hair and raised your head, causing a fit of coughs to crawl through your throat like dry sandpaper. You could barely see past your blurry vision, but you managed to observe your surroundings and briefly piece together what was going on.

There were three students that you recognised from before. The one who was grabbing you by the hair was the same one who ripped apart the notebook.

... So the bullying grew to something physical, huh?

There was a vibration in your pocket. Your hand shakily reached out for it and you checked who was calling. Oh, it was Genji. You just barely read his name on the caller ID when one of the girls snatched your phone off your hand. In fact, she didn't even need to snatch it, your grip was incredibly weak. No strength was in your body to even let out a word of protest. All you could do was watch helplessly.

The girl answered the phone.

"Hey, what's up? (Y/n)? Oh! She left her phone in the classroom and I saw you calling her. Mhm, mhm. I'll go give the phone to her now."

Just when you were wondering why the previous (Y/n) didn't make any attempts to say something, she opened her mouth, "Help––"

One of the students slapped her hands over your mouth.

"One word and things will get worse," she whispered.

The girl on the phone took a step back, her eyes narrowing in amusement as she looked down on you; she silently mocked your helpless state. "Hm? Oh that was nothing. See you later~" And the call ended. The student laughed, dropping your phone to the ground. "Phew, almost got caught there."

There was no way Genji didn't suspect something was up. You wondered, will he come and save the previous (Y/n)? You waited for him to come, to call back, to do anything to interrupt the girls so that they can just stop tormenting you.

But he never showed up.

Your world was disoriented. The three students continue to spout more derisive words, but your mind was unable to comprehend it. You guess that was kind of a good thing.

When is it going to be over? Relieving this painful experience that wasn't even yours was dreadful.

... Yet, why did it feel so familiar? Was the immersion that great?

"Oh shit, a teacher's coming."

"Let's just leave her here. Go distract the teacher so he doesn't see this mess."

And that was where the memory ended.

It's over... Thank god.

When you woke up, tears had already fallen. Groggily, you sat up on your bed and wiped them off. Though there were no signs of bruising or injury, the pain felt ironed into your body.

"... So that was her school life."

A target of extreme bullying, too timid and soft spoken to fight back. It wasn't your past. But you still felt a heavy weight on your chest anyway. You clutched the part of your shirt where your heart was and tried to calm down. Frustration had its fun catalysing a tumultuous internal conflict within you. If it weren't for the fact that your body was drained of energy, the closest object near you would've been a target to let out your anger and something would've been broken.

Genji––you only thought that he cheated on the previous (Y/n) and that was it. But it was far more complicated. Just remembering everything made you want to––

"Deep breaths, (Y/n). Deep breaths..."

It's not your past, don't get riled up. You have enough on your plate as it is.

"He's a hindrance to me and that is all."

He had a complicated past with the previous (Y/n), not you. You were not obligated to care. All you needed to acknowledge was that you now had enough contextual knowledge to deal with him. Anything else, you didn't care. A simple conclusion, but a conclusion with the least amount of headaches. It helped calm down the storm of emotions that overflowed your consciousness.



===



The next day was another typical morning before school at the daycare. However, a little unlike typical mornings, Shin's mother had an early meeting and texted you beforehand to take her son to the daycare earlier than usual. You texted Kashi the news and he eagerly suggested the idea of making flower crowns.

You assumed that he brought up the idea because there happen to be stuff at the daycare, so imagine the shock you felt when the idol rocked up with a big bag of all the materials needed.

So, here you were in the daycare's backyard; sunlight smiling down as all the kids sat on the grass and cheerfully made flower crowns. You were currently making your own when you noticed that Shin had made his flower crown out of a combination of your favourite colours. The child beamed brightly and proudly lifted it up. He ran over to you with the purest smile ever.

"I made this for you!"

The flower crown was placed onto your lap. With a small tilt of your head, you lifted it up and examined it. The flower crown done a little messily, but there was an adorable charm to that. You gave Shin an approving thumbs up.

"Wanna put it on for me?"

Shin nodded. "Yes!"

You lowered your head and Shin settled the flower crown lopsided. The two of you giggled as you fixed the positioning.

"So? How do I look?"

Eyes sparkling in child-like awe, he gave you an enthusiastic, "Perfect!"

Shin told you that he was going to make more flower crowns for his friends and ran off. Meanwhile, you were just about done with yours.

"Aw, looks like someone beat me to it." Kashi sat down next to you. Looks like he finally managed to escape the crowds of children who wanted him to try on their flower crown. The guy was too popular for his own good. "I was going to offer you a flower crown I made."

You shuffled over a little to make space for him. "You need to step up your game," you teased. "Actually, I made this one for you. Wanna try it on?"

Kashi's expression lit up. "Of course!"

He lowered his head and you tried to not mess up his hair. Admittedly, you were a tad clumsy (some petals totally did not fall onto Kashi's face). When that was done, the idol hummed in content and asked,

"How do I look?"

It was literally only a flower crown, but you felt like Kashi just got ten times prettier. How was it possible for the flowers to compliment his features so well? Just to mitigate your jealousy of the idol's beauty, you'd chalk it up to your epic flower crown making skills

"Illegally gorgeous," you said. "Thanks to my flower crown, of course."

You expected Kashi to banter back with you like he usually would. So, you were surprised when a blush suffused his cheeks.

"Gorgeous?" His voice almost came out timid. Kashi quickly cleared his throat. "Maybe you should start making the accessories for my costumes."

"How good is the pay?"

"On good days, you'll get a whole paperclip along with your pay."

"Seems legit."

Kashi chuckled. "Of course, if––"

Mid conversation, you idly took a stray leaf off Kashi's hair. It was just a harmless gesture, so you didn't expect Kashi to suddenly stop talking. He stared at you for a moment before thanking you bashfully.

He's awfully flustered today...

The idol was quick to gather his composure. "Anyways, (Y/n). Did you do the homework?"

"... There was homework?"

The two of you hung out with the kids for a little while longer before leaving for school. As always, Kashi happily opened the door for you, gesturing you to head out before him. During the walk to school, as always, Kashi had many things to talk about.

"I watched a new drama last night!" he beamed.

Ah, time to hear Kashi fanboy about another media he consumed. You didn't mind it, in fact, you rather enjoyed hearing the idol talk so passionately about something.

"Let me guess, enemies to lovers?"

"You're acting like I'm super predictable." He huffed. "But yes, enemies to lovers."

Kashi went on to explain the premise––without spoiling anything major, of course––and tried convincing you to watch the drama. You added it to the mountains of recommendations Kashi provided. Have you touched them? No. You'll get to them soon, probably.

"The romance develops so well!" He exclaimed. "Some might say it's a little dragged on, but I promise it's not."

"Let me guess, the confession gets interrupted every single time until the last episode?"

"... Okay, hear me out."

You laughed and Kashi pouted, it was fun teasing him. He kept telling you 'I promise this is the one that will get you to fall down the rabbit hole' while you rolled your eyes and responded with 'yeah, yeah, sure.' Romance, huh? You thought back to earlier this morning and how Kashi was more flustered around you than usual. Granted it was only for a small segment, but the thought wouldn't leave your mind. You wondered, did Kashi like you romantically?

"Speaking of romance," you began. "Do you like anyone at the moment?"

The pause was fleeting, unnoticeable. But because you were intensely observing the idol's actions, you felt like he hesitated for a moment. Could just be your imagination, though.

"Romantically? I don't want to pursue anyone at the moment," he answered. "But if I were to date someone, you'd be my first choice!"

Damn, you were expecting Kashi to be caught off guard by your question, but you were now thrown off guard by his response.

"I'm flattered. I'll treat you to a cat cafe date."

"See? Perfect girlfriend material."

"I'm probably out of your league, though."

"How do I be in your league?"

"Stop watching cheesy dramas."

"Guess this is meant to be forbidden love then."

You both laughed and then the conversation topic changed to you figuring out a way to copy Kashi's homework before first period.

Well, then. You still had no idea if Kashi liked you romantically or not. Asking straight up didn't really tell you anything. Were you looking into things too much? However, on the chance if he did... You recalled the rules of the game: 'prevent deaths' caused by the male leads. Kashi harming someone for your sake... That made you wildly uncomfortable.

"(Y/n), do you have anyone you like?"

You almost flinched at the question. "Woah, woah. We're back on the conversion of crushes now?"

"Hey, if you asked me it's fair if I do the same."

"Ew, fairness."

"Very funny."

Liking someone romantically? There wasn't anyone you were adamant on pursuing. But if I were to choose someone... You remembered Kai's confession. Honestly, you would've given him a chance if it weren't for the game.

"I don't like anyone at the moment. But––"

You paused when a familiar redhead entered your view. Just across the road was Genji. He was talking to a girl, hand over her shoulder and all. All the memories you gained from learning the previous (Y/n)'s backstory came flooding and your mind blocked everything out. You clenched your hands and steadied your breathing.

Remember, there's no point getting emotional over someone else's past––someone you replaced in this world.

"(Y/n)?" Kashi's gaze followed yours. "Oh..."

"Don't worry about it, let's keep going."

Hoping to distract yourself, you continued to discuss random topics with Kashi. However, much to your dismay, your mind kept wandering back to Genji and the previous (Y/n)'s past. Kashi knew you were distracted despite your attempts to hide it. Right. Even if you managed to calm yourself down relatively quickly after seeing Genji, someone like Kashi must've easily noticed your discomfort.

"(Y/n)?"

"What's up?"

"About Genji-san..." He paused for a moment, observing your expression and discerning whether it was okay to proceed with the topic. You nodded at him and he continued, "Are you still uncomfortable around him?"

"I mean, it'd be great if I don't ever see him. But it's nothing serious." You smiled. "Trust."

Hesitation stopped Kashi from answering right away, and you felt a little guilty for not opening up to him. He wanted to help, but you weren't offering anything substantial for him to do much.

"Okay... But, if you ever need to vent, I'll be here to listen! That's what friends are for, right?"

"Mhm, of course."

And that was the end of that––well, that was what you were hoping. After a few minutes, there was a tap on your shoulder that prompted you to turn around. You should've guessed who it was after noticing Kashi's small frown. When you made eye contact with a certain redhead, your mood soured.

"Ah-hah! So it was you. Do you have a thing for idols or something?"

Genji's hands were in his pockets as he casually walked besides you, waiting expectantly for an answer. Whether on purpose or not, he was acting like he didn't just barge in on your conversation with Kashi.

You narrowed your eyes. "What happened to the girl you were with?"

"What? Jealous?" He grinned. "She wasn't anything special, don't worry."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Okay. Cool. Congratulations. Can you leave now?"

"Geez, you're treating me so coldly. I thought we had something special."

"Special?" You almost spat those words out. Little by little, the memories you experienced were leaking through the cracks of the cage you trapped them in. Keep it together, (Y/n). "Sure, whatever suits you."

Genji was about to say something, but Kashi cut him off.

"Oh, I was supposed to text you this, but Ichika-san said we're supposed to go to her office after school."

You breathed a subtle sigh of relief and mentally thanked Kashi for diverting Genji's attention away from you.

Genji groaned. "Serious?"

"Her words, not mine," Kashi said with a chuckle. "You can skip if you want."

"Ahhh, don't tempt me. As much as I'd love to, I'll probably get an earful like last time." Genji rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. "Well, whatever. I'll call to see if I can get the meeting to wrap up quickly."

With a wink and a wave goodbye, Genji left the two of you alone.

"He's gone, right?" you asked. After Kashi hummed in confirmation, you let out a loud sigh. "My god, I hate that guy so much."

Kashi laughed. "Let me know if you need my help whenever he comes around."

"Bless. But it would be better if he didn't come around at all."

"Need me to make him disappear for you?"

You almost stopped walking. What?

If the idol's intent was to deliver those words playfully, then he did so flawlessly. However, for you, it caused the carefree atmosphere to come to a crashing halt. It was just a harmless comment. A harmless comment that made your heart drop to your stomach. The passing cars and voices of other people remind you that time, in fact, did not freeze from the weight of the suspense that burdened you. Forcing back the urge to swallow nervously, you casually responded with,

"Wow, I didn't know you could do magic."

"In case my idol career crashes, I'll have a backup plan."

You mustered a carefree laugh. "I'll be there to support you."

The rest of the walk to school proceeded on as usual, but you could not lift the sinking feeling that weighed your chest because of Kashi's previous comment.