"NECESSARY STEPS" warnings; none.



Flipping the page of your book, you stared at the empty words as your mind drifted elsewhere. Who could blame you? The phone call you had with Dominic the day prior was stuck to the forefront of your brain with hot superglue. And sadly, you were running out of things to do.

Clean the bathroom after it was already cleaned? You sure did. Annoy Kieran to high heavens? Yes, obviously. Braid his hair and color in the tattoos on his arm? He was a pretty princess now, at least that's what he said. Of course, he only refused to undo his hair or wash his arms when he went out somewhere two hours ago, saying you "perfected" his outfit. Where did he go? You have no clue. You were almost tempted to go with him until you saw that shit-eating grin on his face.

He was up to something. Whatever it was, you didn't want any part in it.

You glanced down at your book and sighed. You weren't the type to reread books, but it was better than roaming around the house in silence. Nothing looked good on TV, movies were just background noise, and social media always found a way to make you feel worse about yourself or some issue that wasn't even an issue to begin with.

It was pure luck that Kieran hadn't noticed your change in attitude. His mind also seemed to be elsewhere.

"I'm home!"

Speak of the devil, you huffed. I should say his name three times and see if it summons him.

The sound of Kieran running into something in the hallway made you smile. He was being clumsier than normal and his footsteps heavy thuds compared to the quiet walking he usually did. He had to be carrying something. He always walked heavy when he brought groceries inside the house, now he was bringing something to your room.

"Welcome home," you smiled softly when the bedroom door opened. "What are you doing?"

Kieran shuffled into the bedroom with his hands full. His hair was speckled with frost, a goofy smile on his face as he placed a couple of bags on the end of the bed. He took a deep breath and pointed at them. "Ta-da~!"

You looked over the edge of your book. You gazed at them suspiciously.

"What's that?"

"Your surprise."

You put the book down and glanced at the alarm clock. It was 6:38 PM. "Wait, didn't you mention a surprise yesterday? I completely forgot about it!"

He smiled sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck. "Ah... yes. I got busy, and I had to choose the perfect thing, so it was a little delayed. But come on, open it!"

You were suspicious. Instead of wondering what he was getting you, your brain rushed to the assumptions of what he got busy on. Was it his father's bodyguard business? Was it something else? You said nothing on the matter.

Placing the bags in your lap, you undid the knot and opened the first one. Inside was a soft fluffy blanket and a book next to it. A novel filled with all the works of Edgar Allan Poe; a poet you always enjoyed, even when you were in middle school. You pulled them out and grinned, enjoying the crisp smell of the new book and the softness of the blanket.

Kieran was unbuttoning his dress shirt. He tugged it off and you raked your eyes down his inked torso momentarily before looking back at your gifts. He flung off his belt and yanked his pants down, changing into a softer pair. "So? Do you like it?"

"Yes!" you smiled, "Thank you so much! Do you want me to open the second bag too?"

"Mhm."

You put aside the blanket and new book to open the other bag. Kieran plopped down on the bed next to you and rolled on his side, staring at you with a grin. His finger played with the hem of your sleeve.

"I—Kieran! How much was this?" you gaped, staring at the perfume and jewelry box. It wasn't a super expensive brand, but you recognized it. "I—like, I mean, thank you! But wasn't this a lot?"

He shrugged. "Not much."

"Not much? Kieran, I can recognize this brand, it's not cheap. Then you got all the other things too."

His green eyes softened, rubbing your arm soothingly. "You don't have to worry about the money, Котик, I got it for you to enjoy."

You weren't sure about that. Furrowing your brows, you wondered how he got it. Didn't he say that he was struggling financially? Isn't that why he started working for his dad? Your fingers glided over the gifts and you debated on asking him about it. Maybe he just earned a little spare money and wanted to use it. But even then, you didn't get why he didn't save it.

You didn't need gifts. While you were grateful for them, you didn't want to ruin his situation anymore by making him feel like he needed to get something. Was that what you were doing? You didn't want to do that, to be that type of wife. You weren't that materialistic and selfish.

"Are you sure?" you glanced at him, "I don't want you to feel like you have to spend money on me."

"I'm sure, Котик. Swear on my heart. Plus, I'm spending money on you because I want to, not because I feel like I have to."

You pursed your lips and nodded. At the thought of money, your mind drifted back to your family.

You didn't tell Kieran about it. Why would you? It wasn't something you wanted to bother him with, he already had so much on his plate. It wasn't like you were going to accept any offer your family gave you. You weren't that stupid, there wasn't anything they could offer you that would make you double-think about it.

You curled up into Kieran's side. Even if you were still suspicious of him, of the things he did, you adored him and the comfort he brought you.

In the dark of the bedroom, he traced lazy patterns on your shoulders. "What are you thinking about?"

"You."

His lips parted. "Oh?"

You nodded and kissed at his collarbone, nipping his ink-stained skin. He shuddered ever so slightly and hugged you tighter. The sheets were cool but he was a furnace; he always seemed to run warm at night. Your eyes outlined his chest full of tattoos.

"And what about me are you thinking about?" he asked, a tired rasp in the back of his throat.

"That I love you," you smiled and inhaled the scent of him. He smelled like the mint lavender body wash. "And that you're fucking hot."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You don't have to cuss to compliment me, baby. I'm aware you think I'm hot."

"No! I meant—"

His eyes widened and he gasped. "You don't think I'm hot?"

"I meant—"

"Ah!" Kieran huffed dramatically and rolled into his back, grumbling. "My wife doesn't think I'm handsome... I should get a facelift, should I? Or lip filler? Is that what you're telling me? I knew it!"

A fit of giggles burst from your lips and you clambered to grab his arm, dragging him back to you. The blankets swam around them. "Shhh! No, I didn't say that!"

He pouted. "You did."

"I didn't! You're very handsome," you used your fingers to pry his lips up into a cheesy smile, "sooooooo handsome. Look at my face. See? That's the face of a wife who finds her husband so handsome."

His pout crumpled. A large, doofus grin replaced it; dimples and all. His emerald eyes seemed to glow in the dark. He gazed at you for a couple of silent seconds, eyes flickering between every perfect and imperfect detail of your face.

"...I love you, (Y/N)."

Your heart almost stopped beating when your name slipped from his lips. The roughness of his syllables brought forth by his accent, the grogginess of his tone—he was perfection. Sure, even if he didn't always act perfect, your heart belonged to him and that was enough. Your face warmed and you smiled back.

"I love you more," you gushed.

"Impossible."

"What? No, it's not!" you gaped, suddenly feeling like the two of you were back in high school with this type of banter. The cheesy, lovesick retorts were almost cringey to hear. "I fell in love with you first so by my rules, that makes me love you more."

"Hearsay."

"I—what? It doesn't work like that! Plus, what you're supposed to say is objection."

"Hmph. Objection."

You laughed and he shifted under the blankets, pulling you on top of him, his hands resting on your hips as he looked up at you. Black strands framed his head like a dark halo. His fingers drummed against your waist while your legs straddled his.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked, pressing your palms against his chest.

"You."

You snorted, rolling your eyes at his cheesy mimic. "What about?"

He averted his gaze. There were few times you saw Kieran ever get shy, usually it was because you teased him bad enough that he folded into his shell. But it was different this time. Insecurity.

"About your gift—I uh, I feel like you didn't like it," he confessed. "If you don't, that's okay! I just—well... I wanted you to like it."

You blinked at him. Sometimes you were so used to the other side of him, the one who did everything with confidence, that it was easy to forget he had these moments. Your nails glided over his skin, up to his neck, cupping his face as you leaned down and pressed your forehead against his.

"I did like it. No, I loved it," you mumbled and smiled at the goosebumps he had, your hands gliding down to his neck. His pulse thrummed a little faster. "Did you want me to get more excited?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I just—I don't know what I wanted you to do," he confessed. "I just felt very... small. I guess."

Small? Someone like him? You'd argue he was larger than life. You leaned back from his face and stared down at him. His gaze was focused on you, only you. He almost looked possessive, with a hint of vulnerability, and your gut twisted into butterflies. Cute. He looked so cute.

"I like anything you get me. You could give me a Little Rock with googly eyes on it and I'd love it," you grinned. "You could get me nothing and your presence enough is a gift."

He smiled and groaned, tilting his head away. "You deserve more than that."

"You're more than anything I could ever deserve."

Kieran rarely ever turned red, but in the darkness of their shared bedroom, you could see his crimson cheeks and ears. His eyes averted yours.

"You know... I can tell something has been bothering you today," he hummed and your face fell ever so slightly. He glanced back and caught it. "See? I know. I can tell."

You didn't know what to say. Kieran thought for a second as he ran his hands up and down your sides, dipping his touch under your shirt, rubbing patterns and letters against your skin. He worshipped your body and soul with his touchy hands, his fingers tender and sweet as he drew hearts on your waist.

"I want you to know I'm for you. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'm just—I'm worried about you. You've been eating less."

Guilt tugged at your heartstrings. Were you eating less? You didn't notice.

"I just... I've had a lot on my mind lately," you confessed.

Kieran leaned up and the blankets fell back. With you in his lap, legs straddling his waist, he wrapped his arms around you with tender care. He nuzzled into your cheek and pressed sloppy kisses from your jaw to your lips, fingers playing with your hair. He exhaled. The room was getting warmer.

He didn't have to say anything and you didn't either. You liked that about your relationship; sometimes it was a pain, but now, when you didn't know what to say, you were glad you didn't have to voice your thoughts for him to understand.

He'd wait for you to tell him.

After the meeting with your parents, you would.

Just not now.

You didn't want to worry him, to hear him snap at the thought of your family's faces. He seemed to hate them more than you did. If he knew you were going to meet them, he'd object. You couldn't really blame him for thinking that way, because if it was the other way around, you'd react the same way. But there was no debating with Dominic. You didn't want to see what would happen if you did.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Your fingertips traced the Jörmungandr tattoo over his heart, making a small smile curl his lips upward. It was one of his favorite tattoos. In high school, he often said that you were the Jörmungandr wrapped around his heart. That you owned his entire being.

It was cheesy now that you thought about it.

You noted every tattoo, ignoring the sudden itch to color them in like you used to. Hell, weren't the two of you were supposed to be going to bed? Not roll around, ramble, and chat. Your eyes dipped down his chest down to his abs, his belly button, his v-line, and thin happy trail. Your eyes snapped back up.

He raised an eyebrow. A knowing look, that made you melt. "What?"

Your cheeks felt warm. When you opened your mouth, your tongue went dry. Suddenly, you were thinking about things you didn't want to think about. He already knew about your insecurities, you already knew all the answers he'd give you, but you found yourself self-reassurance anyway.

"...Kieran."

"Hm?"

You hesitated. "Do... you get mad at me sometimes? For like—not.. being ready?"

He shifted his eyes to peer at you in the dark. It took him a second to realize what you were talking about until his expression melted into goo, his hands holding you so tight that you were sure you'd wake up with bruises the next morning.

"No," he said firmly. He didn't hesitate. "Never."

You looked to the side. Just a couple of days ago, you were yelling at him because of it, fearful he was cheating on you. Now you feel insecure again. How many times must he soothe you until you feel comfortable with yourself?

"I feel bad about it."

"You shouldn't."

"But I do."

He didn't seem to get it. He tilted his head and he pulled you closer by the waist, pushing his chest against yours, hearts pounding in tandem.

"Why? Do you expect me to demand it from you?" he asked.

"No... it's not that. It's just—as your wife, shouldn't I be able to take off my shirt in front of you? Or like—I don't know! I should be able to do more!"

Kieran's eyebrows furrowed. "Should you?"

You pursed your lips. "Yeah. I mean, wives should. I was raised to—"

Kieran's eyes darkened and a rasp appeared in the back of his throat. "I don't give a damn about your parents or what they raised you to believe in. You will have sex with me when you're ready. And if that's never, then it's never."

You folded into him and pressed your forehead against his shoulder. "...but won't you get bored of me if it's never?"

"Of course not." He flopped back into the bed and yanked the blankets back over, "I married you because I can't imagine living a life where you're not bound to me, where you're gone. I didn't marry you for sex."

You gnawed on your bottom lip. Insecure and dangerous thoughts teetered into your mind and poisoned your veins.

You didn't deserve Kieran. Even if he did things to upset you at times, even if he was secretive and lied more times than you could count, you knew his soul was too pure for your own. It made you sick with guilt. What if the reason he was struggling was because he was with you? No, not because of you specifically, but because of your horrible luck.

Ever since he met you, he has been dragged through everything. High school bullies, your family issues, and now he was having family issues of his own. What would happen if you managed to get money from your family? Surely, you'd fall into debt. Right into the palm of their hands. But he'd be able to live more comfortably, right? He wouldn't have to work with that dangerous bodyguard business.

You'd go into debt if it meant you could keep Kieran afloat. He was better than you, kinder, and you knew that he deserved the world. If you gave him a push, would he be able to get out of his issues entirely? Would he find even more happiness?

God, you never wanted him to be upset. Just the thought of his sadness and anger made your heart hurt.

You stared at him and outlined his features. He looked so soft. His eyes were closed as he smiled, pleased with the situation, his eyelashes incredibly long. You stared and stared until his eyes peeled open and he noticed. His grin only grew and my heart fluttered. He hummed, mumbling, "What?"

You pressed your cheek to his chest and listened to the thumping of his heart. The build-up of emotions swelled in your heart. "Do you think... we could try, uh, something more?"

His pulse spiked. "Explain."

Heat burned up the back of your neck. You were glad he couldn't see your face from where you laid on him. "Well, like, with clothes on—but uh... ah, I don't know. Just ignore me."

The bed shook when he shifted, dragging your body further up so he could look you in the eye. His green eyes were calculating, sharp as if he was trying to read your thoughts. "No. I'm not going to ignore you. What did you want to tell me?"

You swallowed tightly. Not knowing what awaited you tomorrow with your family, you just wanted one night with him. One night without any worries, without any thoughts; just you two loving, cuddling, and spending time with one another.

Bravery and want filled your chest and you cleared your throat. You leaned into him and kissed the corner of his mouth. He wrapped his arms around tighter. A low groan tore through his lips when your hips ground on his.

"(Y/N)..." he huffed, his grip almost breaking you. "If you're doing this because you think you have to—"

"I want to," you mumbled. "Nothing serious, just some fun with our clothes on. But if you don't want to, then we obviously won't—"

"Baby, I'll do anything with you," he choked. "Just tell me what you want."

Not once had you ever heard him that desperate. Almost as if there was a whine in the back of his throat, his arms loosened around you. Then in the blink of an eye, his lips smashed against yours, and his hands tangled in your hair. He kissed you with gnashing teeth and tongue.

For tonight, you won't worry about a thing. For tonight, you'll focus only on him and the sleep you'll most definitely need to face the challenge of tomorrow.





Added my email for any fanart, questions, small messages you wanna send to me, etc. Also, check out my TUMBLR—SunnyPopoki. You can request yandere oneshots and stuff over there plus read some other exclusive content.

Yes, I know- short chapter- but the following chapters will be longer. Sorry for the long wait as well.