-Alexi-

I WANT to thank the cheeseburger and milkshake for making me feel better at least. Mukhang gamot ang pagkain sa masamang araw. Hindi ko alam kung may gano'ng kasabihan pero gumana 'yon sa akin ngayon. Nandito kami sa balcony ng aming kwarto. Nakatingin sa labas habang kumakain. Hapon na at ito ang magandang oras para pagmasdan ang kulay kahel na kalangitan pati ang tanawin sa labas. After the tension earlier, we gave ourselves time to breath. I want to thank Coleen for accompanying me.

Habang nandito kami sa labas ay saglit muna nitong hiniram ang notebook at binasa ito.

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you about that right away" I blabbed out while sticking my eyes on the orange sky.

"It's okay" mahina nitong sagot. "Noong araw na pumunta ka mag-isa sa clinic para kitain si Mr. Arellano at hindi mo ako sinama, 'yun din ba ang araw na nakuha mo ang notebook na ito?"

Marahan akong tumango. "Yeah. Caleb gave that to me"

"I have a hunch why you didn't tag me along when you go there but I still wanna ask why?"

Tinapos ko ang pagkain ng cheeseburger hanggang sa milkshake nalang ang natira. I casted a sideward glance at Coleen who's seriously reading as if she have an exam tomorrow. Saglit nitong tinigil ang pagbabasa at matamang tumingin sa akin.

Bahagya akong yumuko at tipid na ngumiti. "When you said, our plan wouldn't go anywhere, I got hurt a little. Kasi sa lahat ng taong magsasabi no'n, sa'yo ko 'yon hindi inaasahang marinig. I mean you're my closest friend and it's just I expected more support from you so I went there alone to prove we're having progress"

Nang umangat ang tingin ko kay Coleen ay nagtutubig na ang mga mata nito. "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I didn't meant to make you feel that way--"

I raised both of my hands and shook my head. "No no no. It's okay. Naiintindihan ko naman kung saan 'yon nanggagaling"

"No. It's not okay. I realized kung sino man ang dapat na mas kakampi sa'yo sa labang ito, dapat ako 'yon. I'm truly sorry, Alexi"

I smiled warmly at her. "It's okay. I still love you even if you disagree with me or decide not to go"

Sa pagkakataong 'yon ay naisara ni Coleen ang notebook. Saglit niya itong nilapag sa upuan. Tumingin ito sa akin suot ang hindi pag-sang ayon sa kanyang mukha. "That's something I would never agree to. Joan is my closest friend and now that she's gone, you're the one left. The first time I saw her crying hard while you're gone playing Art of Death, I realized how much more important you are to her. I love Joan and I ought to protect the person who's important to her as well. I value our friendship more than anything else so if this one fails, then let's fail together"

I imitated my voice like I was touched by her words even though I am. Hearing those words makes me admire how Coleen cherishes me as her friend. "Aww, that is so sweet, Coleen. You're gonna make me cry." I acted as if there were tears in my eyes I was wiping.

Pabiro itong umirap sa kawalan "I don't really like us having this conversation. So dramatic"

Parehas kaming natawa. Hanggang sa naging seryoso ang mukha nito. "But seriously, don't do that stunt again. Like what you did last Friday night. Going alone. Nakita mo naman ang nangyari sa'yo. Nahuli ka ng mga Ghettos. To be frank, I badly wanna scold you because of your recklessness. I don't think I can ever forgive myself if ever we arrive and you're dead that night"

Para itong nanay na nagsesermon sa akin at wala akong magawa kundi tanggapin ang lahat ng ito. I smiled at back of my head. That's what she naturally is. I didn't realize I miss that side of her. Bahagyang humina ang boses nito sa mga huling linya na binitawan "Ayoko dumating sa sitwasyon na kailangan ko siyang patayin para ipaghiganti ka sa pagpatay niya sa'yo. I don't want my brother to be killed by my hands"

Napayuko ako dahil kumakatok ngayon ang aking konsensya. Hindi ko naisip na may mga taong nag-aalala sa akin gaya ni Coleen. I feel like I became selfish. I could sense a hint of love for her brother. She may not admit it but it proves that she still care about Trevor even he's a bad person.

"I'm sorry," I said in an apologetic tone.

"Yeah you should be" pataray nitong tugon. "You should feel guilty because there's also another person who got worried the same way I did. Hindi mo nakita kung paano siya mag-alala sa'yo noong gabing 'yon" she laughed as if she's recalling something funny. "I thought he's crazy"

"Is it Reigan?"

"Yup" ngumiti ito ng nakakaloko sa akin at pinangsingkitan ng mata as if may hinuhuli ito sa mga tingin ko. "What's the real score between you two? Hindi pa kita naiintriga tungkol dyan"

Umiwas ako ng tingin para itago ang namumula kong pisngi. Why my cheeks is getting hot? "W-we're friends"

"Okay. As you say so," she said wittingly, making it obvious she didn't buy it.

I shook my head and let out soft chuckles. "C'mon, we're just friends, Coleen"

"He likes you. Very much obvious"

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa railings ng balcony para isampa ang mga braso doon. "He confessed to me already. He's transparent with his feelings"

Coleen grinned widely. "Woah, what a brave man. Do you like him?"

Hindi ako sumagot bagkus dinaan ko lamang ito sa tipid na ngiti.

Her eyes squinted. "O hindi ka padin nakakamove on sa first crush mo?"

I cracked a laugh and changed the subject. "That's the least of we should concern about, Coleen"

Tumawa lang ito at umikot ang mata sa kawalan. "Whatever" kinuha nito ang notebook sa upuan at naunang pumasok sa kwarto. "Ang mabuti pa, suriin natin ang laman ng notebook na to'. Let's go downstairs and make a plan"

Tumango ako sa pag-sang ayon at sumunod sa kanya. Naghanda si Coleen ng puting kartolina at pentelpen. Para kaming may gagawing project at kaming dalawa ang magkapartner. Nagsimulang gumuhit si Coleen. She didn't instruct me what to do so I just watch her drawing something.

"What's that?" I asked her.

"Map" simpleng sagot nito. "I tracked down Doc Arellano's description of the way of getting inside the laboratory. Some are familiar to me since I've been there once or twice I don't really remember"

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa pinagkakaabalahan ni Coleen. I scanned the drawings and it really looked like a map. A sketch map. Kahit mabilisan niya lang ginuguhit ang mga 'yon ay maganda pa din ito. Not to downgrade myself but her drawing is 10x better than mine. I remember mapping the Sonkan and it's terrible compare to hers.

"I didn't know you have a talent for drawing," I commented.

Bahagya itong natawa. "Not really. Just want to make it understandable" bahagya pa nitong nilapit ang mukha sa papel para punan ng detalye ang mapang ginuguhit nito. "The notebook is really detailed. Mr. Arellano even wrote the estimated guards we could encounter in each sections"

"Yeah it is" I nodded in agreement. "Noong unang beses ko binasa ang notebook, naiintindihan ko lahat maliban sa paglalarawan ni Mr. Arellano sa laboratoryo. I don't get it at all so I can't picture it clearly on my head"

"And yet you're insisting to go by yourself when you don't even know what this place looked like" umangat ang tingin sa akin ni Coleen na tila handa na naman akong sermunan. I just smiled awkwardly and kept my mouth muted.

"We're a team here, Alexi. Always remember that," she added, sounding like she wanted to assure me that I was not alone. I wholeheartedly appreciate that. Bumalik ang atensyon nito sa ginagawa.

"Kahit dalawa nalang tayo?"

"We have your newly recruited boy, Caleb, and..." She trailed off. "Al Capone. Yeah we're four at least"

Saglit akong napaisip at bumuntong hininga. "Sa tingin mo ba sasama siya? Callista is ready to abandon him as a brother if he'll go with us. Blood matters first"

"Yes, he will"

I glanced at Coleen. "You sound so sure"

"I am. I hate Al Capone for being a gangster but I know you're important to him. And you protect people that are important to you"

Coleen continue sketching the map while I was the one reciting the description of what part of the lab she'll gonna draw next. Matatagalan kung babasahin niya pa sa notebook at iguguhit kaya ako nalang ang naglalarawan sa kanya. Hours passed by at kahit papaano ay nakakalahati na kami. We consumed two cartolinas to sketch the whole laboratory building including the room that full of captives written on the notebook. Sumapit ang dinner time ng saktong alas-otso kaya dumiretso kami sa dining hall. Labag man sa amin ang kumain doon pero wala naman kaming choice kung gusto naming makakain ng matinong pagkain.

Parang balik sa dati ang lahat nang makarating kami sa Dining Hall. Masigla ang mga tao na parang bubuyog dahil sa ingay. Their laughters mixed with their light conversations. It's like there's no bloodbath happened last Friday. Madami pading tao at siksikan sa pila. Mukhang mabilis silang nakakapag adjust sa mga kaganapan dito sa Sonkan. We made our way to get in the line and waited until our food was served.

"Will Felicity go with us?" I asked Coleen, opening a topic as we started to eat. Hindi pa siya bumabalik ng dorm mula ng madismiss ang meeting kanina.

"I don't know about that ghost. Most of the time, she's neutral. She sides with no one"

Tumango na lamang ako at nagpatuloy kumain. It's hard to distinguish her character though. There are times she's acting like a villain or nice. Maya maya'y dumating sina Fare at Chad. Umupo sila sa okupadong table sa tapat namin. I casted a glance at them and they seemed pretended they didn't see us at all. Ni hindi tumungo ang ulo nila sa direksyon namin. I sighed inwardly and tried to ignore that.

"I hope you didn't save, Fare" umangat ang tingin ko kay Coleen. "Look what she did after what you'd done to her"

"Coleen" saway ko sa kanya. Hindi naman malakas ang boses nito pero iniiwasan kong marinig 'yon ng dalawang magkaibigan sa tapat namin.

"Why?" She let out soft chuckles. Sometimes, I forget she has a real name, which is Veronica. And her Veronica side unconsciously comes in. Coleen is like a motherly character, but Veronica is fierce and sometimes harsh. "You saved her life last Friday, and now she's acting like she doesn't know you. You risked your life to save her that night yet ang dali niya lang ding maduwag at iwan ka sa grupo"

"That's not how it is, Coleen. I understand where their fear is coming from" I answered in defense.

"I don't get it" inabot nito ang juice na nasa tabi at ininom ito. "I mean all of the people in U-squad experienced the purging not even a year ago. Lahat tayo nasurvive 'yon kahit ang hirap ng pinagdaanan natin. We made an oath we're gonna get out of here no matter what. Bakit ngayon pa sila naduwag" there's a glimpse of bitterness in Coleen's voice. She must be grudgeful because it's like they turned their backs to us.

"Kumain nalang tayo Coleen. Hayaan na natin sila" tanging sagot ko na lamang. Hindi ko din alam ang isasagot sa tanong niyang 'yon. Somehow, in my inner thoughts, I want to ask them the same question. Why back down now? We already have a ticket to escape here.

"Ang bilis ng panahon. Pasukan na pala sa Wednesday. Excited kaba?"

May dumaan na mga grupo ng kababaihan at pumwesto sa likod namin. Nangibabaw ang boses ng babaeng nagsalita. I took a peek of them over before shifting my eyes on my plate.

"Sino bang maeengganyong mag-aral sa ganitong lugar. I wanna be kicked out or maybe drop" matamlay na sagot kanyang kaibigan niya.

"As if they would let you do that. Nakakalungkot lang na hindi na natin makikita ang pamilya natin"

"You know, guys, what I'm curious about is how they're gonna make our clone version. I mean, how is that possible?"

"Well, this school is crazy. I wish I'd never dreamed of being here"

"My roommate got killed last Friday," I heard one of them start sobbing. "And I'm totally scared. I wish Friday never existed"

I stopped listening to them and finish my meal instead. Lalo lang akong malulungkot sa mga hinanaing nila. I wish they'll survive at huwag maranasan ang sinapit namin lalo na ang purging. They need to brace their selves for more. Huwag sana manaig ang takot sa kanila.

Matapos makakain ay agad na din kaming bumalik sa dorm para ipagpatuloy ang paggawa ng mapa. Tomorrow is Tuesday and the next day after that would be the resuming of class. We only have one day left to execute the operation. We're lack of time and lack or numbers as well. Considering apat lang kaming sumang-ayon sa plano. Alanganin pa 'yung isa. I'm thinking about Reigan. Even if he cares about me, I don't think he will let his sister despise him. Hanggang ngayon ay sariwa pa din sa isip ko ang mga napag-usapan kanina. I'm still hurt but I have no time to deal with my emotions. I need to stay sane and rational.

Habang naglalakad pabalik ay hindi ko inaasahang masasalubong namin si Reigan. Saglit akong napahinto sa paglalakad dahil sa bahagyang pagkagulat. He put a slacken smile upon seeing us.

"Good evening" bati nito.

Tumikhim si Coleen. "I think this is where I should take my exit so yeah.." tinapik ako nito sa balikat. "Maiwan ko muna kayo"

Nang umalis si Coleen ay nagkaroon ng ilang segundong katahimikan sa amin. Biglang lumapit si Reigan sa akin at niyakap ako. It was a light hug, somehow comforting. I don't know why he suddenly embraced me in his arms, but I let him do so. The cold breeze of the air was hitting my skin, but his arms fought their way to put warmth on it.

"None of Cali's words are true. I'm sorry you have to hear that. She didn't mean it" mahina nitong sambit. Ramdam ko ang sinseridad sa kanyang boses. Maybe this hug was his way of comforting me after her sister acted mean earlier.

Tumango ako kahit hindi nito nakikita, appreciating his little sweet gesture. "I hope you never think it that way. I'd never made you guys join the group to use your power as a Mobster"

"I know that. It never crossed my mind. It's our choice to support you in the first place." his voice stays softened, sounding like he's trying to calm me even though I'm not angry or reacting overly. Nagtagal kami sa gano'ng posisyon ng isang minuto o higit pa bago ako nito pakawalan. He extended his hand like he was inviting me. "Let's have a walk"

Tipid ko siyang nginitian at kinuha ang kamay nito.

Tahimik lang kaming naglalakad sa malawak na lupain ng Sonkan. Para lang kaming nasa isang tahimik na village at panatag na naglalakad habang walang inaalalang panganib sa daan. Sana nga'y gano'n nalang ang lugar na ito. I found myself staring at the dark sky, watching the stars gleaming on it.

"Let's give them time to think about it. They might change their minds," Reigan blabbed out. He probably noticed I was quiet since earlier.

"Will you go with us?" saglit akong tumigil para humarap sa kanya. His height is towering over me so I had to tilt my head upward to look at him straight in the eye.

Bahagyang nagbago ang ekspresyon nito. Puminta ang pagtataka sa kanyang mukha. "Of course. I'll go with you. We're a team, right?"

"What if you don't?" Mas lalong nangunot ang noo nito. "What if you just leave us and mind your gang? Leader ka ng Mobster at dapat mas iniisip mo ang kapakanan nila lalo na't kakaunti nalang ang bilang nyo. Callista will hate and despise you as her brother. I don't want your relationship to be ruined. This plan is still unsteady, there might be a chance that we could fail and I don't want you to be dragged down in case the Dean catches us"

"Let me ask you a question." he paused for a second. His face went serious. "Will you continue the operation?"

Bahagya akong yumuko at binaling ang tingin sa lupa. Humina ang boses ko. "Yes"

"Even in the slightest chance of succeeding?"

"Yes." I may feel discouraged, but my goal is still vivid in my mind. When Joan dies, it becomes clearer. I want to bring Sonkan down in every possibility I could have.

"Then I'm going with you"

My eyes flickered back to him.

"I don't mind being removed as a kingpin. I can hand the throne to Kaiden. And as for Cali, her anger will melt soon" he let out a soft chuckle. "She never stays angry at me for that long"

I blinked my eyes and let out a soft laugh while surprise lingered on my face. "Whoa, sounds like you're willing to give up everything that easy"

Mabilis nagbago ang mukha nito. He smiled confidently. "I am" proud nitong sagot. "Being a kingpin is just a title. I enjoy violence and being adored by the people for the past few years. I think I'm ready to retire from that"

Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya habang hindi makapaniwala sa naririnig. Now I'm doubting if he is still Reigan. Or maybe he is. Al Capone is arrogant, intimidating, jerk, violent person. But when he's being Reigan, he's like this. Good person and always smiling.

"Why?" I slightly shook my head in disbelief. "I mean I don't get it"

Wala sa sarili itong nakangiti at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad para makaiwas ng tingin sa akin. He looks like a teenage boy smiling for nothing. As if something made his day and he gotta celebrate it by himself. Sinuksok nito ang dalawang kamay sa magkabilang bulsa. Napansin kong hindi nito suot ang tradisyonal nilang jacket. Nakasimpleng shirt lang ito na may suot na kwintas bilang accessory. Wala itong kahit anong piercing. I don't know why his sense of fashion becoming simple nowadays. But whatever the reason is, I like this new version of him. Hindi ko na din ito nakikitang naninigarilyo. I don't know if he stopped already or it's just he doesn't smoke when I'm around.

Sumunod ako sa kanya at pinantayan ang hakbang nito.

"I don't know. Maybe I changed. It may sound cringe but what I only want is to be a better person so we can be a perfect match. I want to see you every day and support whatever you do." he shot a sideward glance at me with a warm smile. "Let's do your goal no matter how much it costs. I want to escape here and be with you in the outside world"

Noong mga oras na 'yon ay parang tumigil ang oras. Ang tanging nakikita ko lang ay ang mga mata niyang dating walang buhay ay ngayon ay nangungusap. Everything's seems muted because I can only hear my heartbeat. It's pounding fast. I'm happy that I get to see him smiling genuinely. But deep down, there's something I'm feeling that those sparkling eyes would turn into a lifeless one again.

**********

Thanks for reading!