-Alexi-

MAYBE it's not healthy to keep your eyes closed, trying to sleep when you're not sleepy at all. I'm tired for the day. Both physically and emotionally, and it's natural for my body to crave some rest, but that's not what I'm feeling at all. For a brief moment, I want to shut down my thoughts. It's flooding on my head as if they're having a race. Among those thoughts, one prevails. Regret. Right in this cold space behind the bars, I was thinking about regret.

Kung sanang nakinig ako kay Callista, mangyayari ba ang lahat ng ito? Marahil hindi. Marahil hanggang ngayon ay buhay pa siya. Marahil wala sa alanganin ang buhay naming lahat.

Masama ba maghangad ng kalayaan?

I wanna talk to Mr. Barri. Maybe this is the consequence he's referring to. Why I didn't see this coming? I was the one who insisted to do all of this until we screwed it up.

Sa kalagitnaan ng malalim na paglalakbay ng aking isipan ay hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako. Ang pagod ng katawan ko ang mas nanaig na siyang panandaliang solusyon para sandaling makalimot sa reyalidad. Ngunit hindi rin 'yon nagtagal. Nagising na lamang ako dahil sa ingay ng mga bakal. It wasn't that loud but it's enough for me to wake up, making me alerted. Who knows if some guards will grab us and bring us to the torture room or whatever place they'll perform execution. At least I'm aware. Sa pagdilat ng aking mata ay napagtanto kong ang rehas kung saan nandoon si Reigan ang binuksan ng mga sundalo.

Automatiko akong napatayo at kumapit sa mga rehas nang makita kong pilit nila itong tinatayo para kaladkarin. Sinubukang manlaban ni Reigan ngunit nanaig ang lakas ng mga sundalo. One soldier hit the edge of the rifle to his stomach causing him to duck.

"Saan nyo siya dadalhin?!" sigaw ko. Gaya ko'y nakatayo din si Kaiden na halos magwala sa likod ng mga rehas.

"No! Don't take him!"

Dahil doon ay nagising ang iba naming mga kasama. Kinaladkad ng mga sundalo si Reigan palabas kahit nagmamatigas ito. He turned his head and gave me a glance. I locked my eyes to his, showing my worried face. We watched them walking until they vanished on our sight. Malakas na sinipa ni Kaiden rehas saka padabog na umupo at sumandal sa pader. I even heard him cursing.

"Why he's the only one they took. Not us?" Fare innocently asked. Gaya namin ay nakakapit din ito sa rehas at sinusubukang sundan ng mata sina Reigan kasama ang mga guwardiya.

"Shouldn't you be happy? You'll not be the first one to die?" sabad ni Felicity. Katabi niya ang kulungan ni Kaiden at nandoon lang ito sa sulok. Nilalaro ang dulo ng buhok niya. Now that her hair was down, she looked like a ghost.

"I don't think they will kill him" rinig kong sambit ni Coleen. I couldn't see her since there was a concrete wall blocking us. "He's a Mobsters' kingpin. They can't kill a gangster purposely especially a leader"

My forehead creased. "What do you mean?"

"Dean never killed a gangster. Either they died in some circumstances or he'll use another party to kill them"

"Like Ghettos?" bumaling ang tingin namin kay Kaiden na siyang sumabat. His eyes are swollen. He probably spent the whole night crying. Mourning like his friend, Reigan. "Is that why they're obsessed in killing us? Your brother is dean's puppet after all" kung kanina'y nakatingin siya sa kawalan, ngayon naman ay umangat ang mga mata nito kay Coleen. His eyes were flaming in anger.

"Ardizzone has his reasons why he wants you all gone, especially your leader. He's just taking advantage dean of by using him"

"It's all your fault" Kaiden whispered. His voice is shaking. Mula sa pagkakaupo ay tumayo ito at marahas na hinila ang mga rehas na tila gusto niya itong sirain upang makalabas siya. "It's all your fault!" He screamed at us. Napaatras ako dahil sa bigla nitong pagiging agresibo. He darted a blazing gaze at me. "Kung sanang hindi kami sumali sa plano nyo, sana hindi kami nandito at sana buhay pa ang babaeng mahal ko. You killed her!"

Natutop lang ako sa aking kinatatayuan. I couldn't do anything or even utter a word while watching Kaiden losing his mind behind those bars. That's not the Kaiden that I used to know. I rarely see him angry. He's one of the calmest people I know. He's always gentle and sober. The first time I saw his emotions unleashed was when Jaxon died. But he wasn't this mad. What hurts me the most, he's blaming me. For the first time, he got mad at me. I clutched my chest as something pierced through it. Hindi ko akalaing makikita ko siyang galit sa akin ng ganito.

"I'm sorry" I mouthed without a sound as my tears started to fall.

Kaiden got tired of pulling the bars since he could not break them, so he just fell on his knees with his head held low. We are seeing how a man can be this vulnerable. "It could be anybody else. Why her?" he whispered until we heard feeble sobs from him.

Bigla akong nanghina at kusa na lamang bumagsak ang mga tuhod ko sa semento. Sunod sunod ang patak ng aking mga luha habang paulit ulit binibigkas ang salitang 'sorry'. It wouldn't bring her life back but at the least of way, I want him to know how sorry I am.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Kaiden, but it's no one's fault," Coleen spoke softly. "None of us wanted that to happen"

Nanlilisik na umangat ang tingin ni Kaiden kay Coleen. "She already warned you didn't she?" saka ako nito tinuro "Yet she still insisted it!"

It's too much to bear. He's looking at me as if we were never closed before. As if we didn't once become friends.

"It's not Alexi's fault!" nagtaas na din ng boses si Coleen. "You guys turned your back before we started it. You had the chance not to join us"

"Stop arguing, people. Y'all wasting your energy. It couldn't change anything" ang malamig na boses ni Felicity ang siyang nagpatahimik sa lahat.

A few hours passed since they took Reigan. He hasn't come back yet and we're still here inside the cold prison. I was hugging my knees while looking at nowhere. All of us were quiet except Shane, who was gripping the bars, nagging us about what would happen to us next. Sa tingin ko'y siya lang ang may sapat na enerhiya upang magsalita o mas tamang sabihing sumigaw. Her voice is close to shouting.

"Can you shut up!" Coleen seems to have had enough of her voice. "Does it look like we knew? Obviously, they extended our lives by putting us here then kill us after"

Coleen's voice was the last sound that was made on the whole surrounding before it turned into a dead quiet one. There's only one light outside of the bars, enough to illuminate us all. It's probably morning by now. We just got arrested yesterday evening, close to dawn. Dumako ang tingin ko sa kulungan ni Reigan. I'm worrying about him. Sana hindi nila siya sinaktan. Some of us probably resumed our sleep since no one had talked a word since earlier. Para kaming mga preso na naghihintay na lamang bitayin.

I rested my head on my knees until my eyes get heavy. Sa sandaling pagkaidlip ay muli itong naantala dahil sa yabag ng mga paang narinig ko. My eyes flickered outside. Ilang tauhan ng Sonkan ang nasa labas. Mataman ko silang pinagmasdan at naging alerto sa maaari nilang gawin. Mali ang akala kong dadakpin nila kami. May isang sundalong huminto sa tapat kung saan ako nakakulong. Saglit nitong binuksan ang selda ko para ilapag sa sahig ang tray na may lamang isang plastic bottle ng tubig at nakatakip na mangkok.

Is it their other kind of treatment before they kill us?

I didn't remove my gaze from the soldier until he gets out of my cell and closed it. Ang pagsara ng bakal sa kani kaniyang mga selda namin ay sandaling binulabog ang tahimik na paligid. They didn't say anything. Pagkahatid ng pagkain ay umalis na din sila.

"Don't eat it guys. It could be poison," I heard Coleen warn from the other cell, which is next to mine.

"I don't care. I'm not gonna die starving" sagot naman ni Shane. Alam kong kanina pa siya nagrerequest ng pagkain at marahil ito ang sagot sa kanyang hiling. "I don't think they put us here for hours and so they can kill us by poisoning. That would be boring, right?"

The food is tempting. Kumakalam na din ang sikmura ko. Bagaman nag-aalinlangan ay tumayo ako at kinuha ang tray. Shane has a point. Sonkan likes thrill and killing us by poisoning is not the thrill they can consider. The bowl was filled with rice, egg and pork, coated with sauce which sliced in small portion. Umupo ako sa pinaka sulok at sinandal ang likod doon saka tahimik na kumain. I need to regain my strength so in case they will actually kill us, I can think a way for us to escape.

Hours become days.

I estimated the time when they brought us here in the prison, it has been days. Three days probably. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan kami mananatili dito. They still keep us alive. Kahit papaano'y dinadalhan nila kami ng pagkain tatlong beses sa isang araw. I won't suffer from starvation but my thoughts seems slowly killing me. I couldn't stop thinking about anything. What happened in the tower keeps replaying in my head. Hindi rin ako umaalis sa pwesto ko. Nandito lang ako sa sulok. Nakayakap sa mga tuhod habang nakatitig sa selda ni Reigan. He still not coming back. I don't want to think he's dead and they killed him first even though that thought slid on my mind.

Is this the torture inside the jail? I just wanna go home and forget everything.

Tahimik ulit ang paligid. Hindi ko alam kung gabi na o umaga pa. Tanging maliit na lente lang sa labas ang nagsisilbi naming liwanag. Walang liwanag o kahit anong butas sa pader kung saan makakatagos ang liwanag sa labas. Ang alam ko lang ay lumipas na ang buong maghapon. Marahil tulog na din ang iba naming mga kasama. From here, I saw Kaiden. Standing beside the bars while his back was leaning on the wall. He's looking outside, peeking his eyes outside where the soldiers coming from. As if he's waiting for someone to walk on that hallway.

Mula sa pagkakabaluktot ng aking mga tuhod ay tumayo ako at naglakad palapit sa rehas. I heard some of our companions snoring so my hunch is right that they're asleep. Binaling ko din ang tingin ko sa labas.

"He will be fine" I blabbed out. "Your friend is still alive"

I didn't intend to engage in a conversation with Kaiden. I just want him to feel a little better.

"I hope so" mahina nitong sagot ngunit sapat para magkarinigan kami. This place is so quiet that even our breathing can be heard. "I already lost two closest people in my life. Reigan is the remaining one"

I nodded my head. He was referring to Jaxon and Callista. I know Kaiden and Reigan were closed. They may contradict in some way, but their friendship is deep. For the second time, it saddens me that I have to witness Kaiden being this sad because someone important to him died. Just like what happened in the purging. When we were still in the Artificial City, the night that he was sitting alone, I was there. He was mourning because Jaxon died that night and he started to talk about their good memories as friends. And now, he needs someone's ears to listen to him. I wouldn't have a second thought to lend mine.

"I know he's grieving as well" dagdag pa nito.

"I know it wouldn't change anything but still, I'm sorry" lakas loob kong sambit. "You're right. It's all my fault"

Saglit na natahimik si Kaiden bago lumipat ang tingin nito sa akin. Pinadausdos nito ang likod sa pader para umupo at tinaas ang isang tuhod upang gawing patungan ng kamay. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean those words, Alexi. I was just mad..." He paused for a moment. I heard him heaving a deep sigh. "Especially to myself. For the second time, I failed to save the important person to my life. I couldn't accept it so I put the blame on someone else"

Nanatili lamang akong nakikinig dahil alam kong 'yon ang kailangan niya. He doesn't usually talk this much unless his thoughts are no longer bearable. And I understand him. Truly.

Gaya din ni Kaiden ay umupo ako at sumandal sa malamig na pader. We're opposite to each other so we could still see each other's face. "You must very love her"

It's still vivid in my mind how tight his hug was on Callista's dead body while crying. You can really tell he's genuinely in love, and a part of his heart dies.

"I do. Deeply" sa pagkakataong 'yon ay sumilay ang maliit na ngiti sa labi ni Kaiden.

"I think she loves you too"

"I know but sometimes I'm wondering if I really won her heart" katulad ng pagkisap ng mata ay gano'n din kabilis nawala ang maliit na ngiting 'yon.

Bahagyang nangunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean?"

He darted a glance at me before he gazed back outside. "There's someone whom she first loved before me. She may love me but I know it's not the same way she loved him. When I hugged her for one last time, I saw she was wearing the ring that the guy gave to her. She's still keeping it until her last breath" his voice weakened at the last sentence. It probably aches him to realize that she was dead already.

Nagkaroon ng sandaling katahimikan. It was a bit surprising to hear that. I didn't know a story like that existed between the two. I thought their relationship was perfect. I broke the silence. "If you don't mind me asking, who's that guy?"

It took him a few seconds before he answered. "Your friend's brother"

Isang pangalan lang ang pumasok sa isip ko. Coleen is my closest friend here and she's also the only person I know who has a brother.

"Si Ardizonne" I muttered and looked at him. I'm not that surprised since the rumor I was hearing before was confirmed to be true. It's just intriguing that Callista's first love is Coleen's brother.

Mula sa di kalayuan ay lumikha ng tunog ang isang bakal na tila pintuang binuksan kaya sandaling naputol ang aming pag-uusap. Natatakpan 'yon ng dilim kaya hindi namin makita. Ang tanging abot lang ng liwanag ay itong selda namin. Sunod na narinig namin ay yabag ng mga paa. Agad akong tumayo at ginising ang iba naming mga kasama.

"Guys wake up! The soldiers are here" bakas ang taranta sa aking boses. I peeked my eyes outside and saw the soldiers appear from the dark. They are all wearing full suits with masks on. They don't talk and they're moving like robots.

Agresibo nilang binuksan ang pinto ng selda namin. Two soldiers came and gripped both of the sides of my arms. I screamed when they started to pull me to make me walk. Some of us panicked, including me.

"Saan nyo kami dadalhin?!" sigaw ko. None of them answered. Tinakpan nila kami ng itim na bag sa mukha bago kaladkarin palabas ng selda.

"Are we gonna die?!" I heard Shane's loud voice.

"Geez, stop shouting" suway sa kanya ni Coleen. "Calm yourself"

"How can I calm down when they're gonna kill us---ahh!"

I gasped when I heard a gunshot. I moved my head to somewhere even though I didn't see anything except for black. "W-what was that? Did anybody get shot?" I asked everyone. My heartbeat rises.

"Mananahimik kayo o papasabugin namin ang ulo ng isa sa sainyo" malamig na sambit ng sundalo. Naramdaman kong may nakadikit na matigas na bagay sa ulo ko. Kahit hindi ko hulaan ay alam kong baril 'yon.

We just zipped our mouths shut and let them drag our feet going somewhere. While walking, I felt a needle prick on my neck. I was too late to react. I suddenly feel dizzy. My head's spinning, and at any moment, I'm about to fall. I tried to fight my dizziness, but my body weakened until my eyes automatically shut down, losing consciousness.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal nawalan ng malay bago ako magising. Dahan dahan kong minulat ang mata ko ngunit muli akong pumikit kasabay ng pagngiwi ng mukha dahil sa liwanag. I let my eyes adjusted on the light before I fully opened it. My hands were placed on my back. Cuffed. Kaya pala hindi ko maigalaw ang aking mga kamay. Kakagising lang din ng mga kasama ko at gaya ko'y nanlukot din ang mga mukha nila. . My head is aching a bit so that's what they must feel as well. I know they injected something to make us sleep. Nakaupo at nakahilera kaming anim sa mahabang mesa. My eyes narrowed around the surroundings. It looks like an interrogation room but bigger version compare to a normal one. Napasinghap ako nang makita ang apat na sundalong nakataas ang baril sa amin. Dalawang sundalo sa magkabila ang nakabantay.

Some of us stiffened in our seats. Afraid to move even an inch because they might shoot us.

"Is this where they gonna kill us?" pabulong na tanong ni Shane. Katabi niya si Coleen at nang hindi ito sumagot ay bumaling siya kay Fare. "What do you think?"

"I-I don't know. I don't want to die"

"Unfortunately, we all are. Thanks for your stupidity" sarkastikong sambit ni Shane. I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh. Shane is too loud to shut her mouth. I hope she'll just stay quiet like Felicity or Kaiden for once.

Maya maya'y bumukas ang pinto at pumasok doon ang babaeng maayos na nakapusod ang buhok. Maingay ang takong nito nang pumunta siya sa harapan. Seeing the smug smile on her face is enough to make my blood boil. I gritted my teeth when I locked my eyes to her. Nothing's new. Her paired red clothes is still on flick. The only woman I know who has great obsession with Red. Hermione.

Umunat ang pulang pula nitong labi sa isang ngisi at pinasadahan kami ng tingin isa isa. Mukha kaming kriminal na nasitensyahan na at siya ang may dala ng hatol na ipapataw sa amin. "Hi, fellas"

"What are we doing, here?" I salute myself for such bravery in asking like that in a demanding tone. Sometimes I tend to forget how scary this woman is.

The Red Lady smiled at me but the dislike in her face was evident. "To enumerate your offenses" she paused and slowly paced forward to rest both of her hands on the table "And to tell how serious all of it was that even your deaths aren't enough to compensate it all"

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Thanks for reading!