-Alexi-

PAGDATING sa dining hall ay nagulantang kami sa dami ng taong nandito. Tila may zombie apocalypse dahil kahit saan mo ibato ang iyong tingin ay lahat ng table ay okupado. For the past few months after the purging, this dining hall never filled with this large number of crowd. Like a restaurant whose fame faded causing why the customers no longer visit. But tonight, para itong cafe na kakabukas lang at dinagsa ng mga tao. Hindi lamang sila madami kundi maingay din. They're like buzzing bees who's gone out of their beehive. Sonkan proved how popular they are in outside world. Ilang araw palang ang nakakalipas pero ganito kadaming estudyante na agad ang narecruit nila.

"The reason why I hate humans. They're noisy" I heard Felicity muttered. She's speaking as if humans' existence irritates her even though she's also a human being.

"Agree. This time, I'm on your side," Coleen followed. I don't know why I get associated with these people anyway.

It takes us forever before we get a stub and had them served a food for us three. Siguro mag-iisang oras din kaming nakatayo sa pilahan para lang makakuha ng pagkain. Good thing may mangilan ngilan ng natapos kumain kaya nakahanap kami ng pwesto na mauupuan. I heard the two sighing sharply out of irritation as they placed their food on the table. I carefully sat on the chair and started eating. Dahan dahan lang ako sa pagnguya dahil pakiramdam ko'y sa akin nila mabubuntong ang inis nila kapag nakalikha ako ng kaunting ingay. I feel like I'm dealing with two girls who has their monthly period.

"Hi! Pwedeng paupo" umangat ang tingin ko sa dalawang babaeng sumulpot sa harap namin. Si Fare at Shane.

Ngumiti lamang ako sa kanila at sinenyasan silang maupo sa vacant space. Malaki naman ang mesang nakuha namin. Kasya kahit walong katao.

"Thanks. Hay! Grabe ang daming tao. Pahirapan na makakuha ng pagkain" Shane made a noisy comment as she sat on her seat. "Kundi lang talaga masarap ang pagkain nila dito, hindi ako magtiya tiyagang pumila gabi gabi"

I hid my urge to chuckle by shoving pork in my mouth. Bigla kong naalala si Joan. Ganyan na ganyan siguro ang sasabihin niya. In fact, may pagkakaparehas sila ng ugali. I think mas bata lang si Shane sa kanya. Parehas silang madaldal na may anger issues. She has a point, kung lasa lang din ng pagkain ang pagbabasehan It's incomparable.

I saw Fare elbowed Shane on the waist. "Pwede ba pakihinaan ang boses mo. Ang lakas lakas"

Inirapan lang ni Shane si Fare. Napatingin ako sa dalawa at parehas silang seryosong kumakain. Hindi umiimik.

"Ganitong oras din ba kayo pumupunta dito ate Al?" Umangat ang tingin ko kay Fare.

I nodded. "Yeah. Pero minsan lang. Ngayon nalang ulit yata ako nakakain dito"

I don't know if I'm older than Fare since she's also a freshman, but she keeps calling me ate Al, which I find sweet. We're not that close, but common acquaintances.

"I see. Parang kailan lang wala halos tao dito pero ngayon, ang hirap na makipagsiksikan" sagot ni Fare.

"Yeah. Muntik pakong makasuntok kanina dahil nang-aagaw siya ng pila" sabat ni Shane. "I think they don't know the rules yet. They can still smile"

I throw my gaze at the people in other table rows. They're still happy. Enjoying eating while laughing with their peer groups. I don't know how long it would last.

We continued eating until our tummies filled up. May ilang umiikot na food crew para magtanong kung magpaparefill pa ng pagkain. All of us asked for another plate of meal. I kept my ego not to eat here but I must admit that it's my first time to eat real food again after several months. After a few minutes, our refill was served with dessert. Shane even clapped like a kid. Napailing nalang kami pareho ni Fare.

"Nandito ka pala Ghost Lady" mukhang ngayon lang napansin ni Shane si Felicity dahil bahagya pa itong nagulat.

Malamig lamang itong tiningnan ni Felicity. Marahil kating kati na itong sabihin na 'Can you shut up'. Kanina pa kasi maingay si Shane at kung ano anong komentaryo ang sinasabi.

"Ever since I first met you, palagi ka nalang nakaputi. Wala ka nabang ibang damit?"

Felicity held the fork tightly. I blinked my eyes and pursed my lips. "Would you guys permit me to stab this kid?"

"Yes" sagot ni Coleen matapos uminom ng tubig. Blanko lamang itong nakatingin kay Shane ngunit mahahalata sa mukha na kanina pa ito naiirita. "Permission granted"

Napapikit na lamang ako at malalim na napabuntong hininga.

Natagpuan namin ang mga sarili na naglalakad sa school grounds pabalik sa aming dorm building. It's a relief no one got stabbed. No fight happened. We made a peaceful exit. Pare parehas kaming member ng Usquad pero mukhang hindi kami lahat magkakasundo. Seems we all have attitudes to deal with.

"Just to let you know, I hate someone who's snoring loud" Coleen suddenly brought up to Felicity.

"Says the person who's talking while sleeping" Felicity backfired.

"I was dreaming at that time. It's not my fault"

"Oh really? I even had to get up just to slap you hard but still, you didn't wake up"

Coleen sighed sharply out of patience. "It only happened once"

"Once your face"

Nagpalipat lipat ang tingin ko sa kanila at sinusubukang makasabay sa kanilang usapan but it seems they're both reminiscing different pages of their past, reciting it one by one to each other. Mukha naman silang magkasundo? Sana. My face expression wishes it so.

"Don't ever sleepwalk and snatch my space on the bed, or I'll push you," Coleen spit out, raising her index finger, warning her.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong hininga at hinintay na lamang hanggang sa makarating kami ng dorm. Until my eyes landed on the guy who's seating on the bench alone. He's few meters away from me but I easily recognized his back. Nagpaalam ako kina Coleen na mauna na sila dahil may dadaanan lang ako. Tango lang ang nakuha kong tugon sa kanila.

I do half-run to approach the guy I haven't seen for like a week or more. Nagkikita lang kami kapag may meeting ang U-squad. I sat beside him quietly. "You're still a loner, huh?"

I noticed his shoulder flinched, probably surprised when someone suddenly sat beside him. He gave me a sideward glance and his lips automatically stretched to form a sly smile. "Ikaw pala, Alexi"

"It's been a while, Kaiden. How's your wound?" I greeted back with a smile.

"I'm fine. Getting better" binalik nito ang tingin sa kawalan at nilagok ang hawak nitong canned soft drinks. Matapos uminom ay inilahad nito ang kamay upang alukin ako ng natira. "Want some?"

I couldn't hide my smile so it just showed unconsciously. I hesitantly accepted the can "Sure. Thanks"

"No prob. Sa'yo na 'yan"

Bahagya akong napayuko at ramdam ko ang pag-init ng aking pisngi nang dumikit sa bibig ko ang labi ng can para uminom. It's indirect kiss, right? Lumipas ang ilang minutong katahimikan sa aming dalawa. I took a glance at him only to see his sideview face. He's looking at nowhere.

"Ano nga palang ginagawa mo dito mag-isa?" I asked out of nowhere. He's a quiet type of person, and I know people like him want to detach their presence from the people. I just asked that to open a conversation at least.

"I feel suffocated. Gusto ko lang lumanghap ng hangin" sagot nito. "How about you? Bakit nasa labas kapa?"

Muli akong lumagok ng soft drinks na binigay niya. "Kakagaling lang namin sa dining hall. Pumupunta din ba kayo doon?"

He shook his head. "Nope. We have our dining hub"

Tumango ako. "I see. Gangsters privilege"

They even have their building and rooms that are like hotels, school buildings, bars, cars, and other luxury stuff. I wonder what's the exchange for having those privileges. Oh I know, unending fights. Gang war, violence.

I heard Kaiden chuckle a little. "Sonkan's population is going back to normal. It was like nothing had happened. I don't know what Reigan's plan is. He should recruit new members, or else Trevor will keep invading us. Taking advantage of our weakness state"

Despite us having a separate team, U-squad. I almost forgot they also have gang issues they need to face. Inubos ko ang natitirang soft drinks at binalik ang tingin sa daan. "I once asked Al Capone why Ardizonne is obsessed with killing him. I asked what he did for him to be mad to that extent"

"Did he tell you why?"

I simply shook my head, followed by a sigh. "No. He got angry. He told me he doesn't talk about dead people because their souls are already resting in peace"

"Anything that is related to Trevor makes him angry. Especially questions. It's sensitive for him" Kaiden lectured. "Why did you ask that?"

My eyes flickered on other direction to avert my gaze. "Uh..naisip ko lang naman na kung makikipag-ayos si Reigan kay Ardizonne, magkakaroon na ng kapayapaan sa gang nyo. Hindi na niya kayo susugudin"

Ngumiti lamang ito. Yumuko ito para kumuha ng maliit na bato at binato sa kawalan. "That would never happened. Reconciliation will never be the answer. Gang wars are passed by generation to generation. It has only one goal. To be number one. Mobsters always beat Ghettos back then. We are respected the most than Ghettos. That's what Ardizonne envied for"

Muli akong tumingin sa kanya para makinig ng mabuti. Like a student who is eager to collect knowledge from her teacher.

"Trevor has this extreme jealousy to Reigan even before. Dahil sa inggit niyang 'yon kaya sila naging magkaaway" Kaiden went on.

"But they were best friends right?" I interrupted. Trevor even taught Reigan of archery. Minsan niyang nabanggit sa akin na may kaibigan siyang nagturo sa kanya na pumana. I knew that because Coleen also told me that. Her brother is a better shooter than her. I think it's familiar to you that they're siblings"

"Yeah. That's true" Kaiden answered with a slow nod. "Reigan never mentioned this but I knew. Trevor is his greatest friend. Hindi niya ito magawang patayin kahit marami siyang pagkakataong gawin 'yon"

"Ano bang nangyari noon at naging magkaaway sila?"

That's a jackpot question I've been dying to know since then. I started hearing rumors that they were best friends even before, but no one knows what happened and why they ended up enemies. No one knows what's the real story behind it. I didn't get an answer from Reigan but I hope Kaiden would fill up my curiosity.

Tumingin sa akin si Kaiden. Walang emosyong mababasa sa mukha nito pero bahagyang nakaunat ang kanyang labi. It seems he's figuring out why I'm curious about them. Saglit lang ang tingin na 'yon at binalik niya din ang mata sa mga naglalakad na estudyante. Marami rami din sila. Mukhang pabalik na sila sa kanilang dorm matapos kumain sa dining hall.

"Many reasons" sagot ni Kaiden. "Trevor is supposed to be on our gang. A mob. Reigan was proclaimed to be a kingpin after the previous leader died. I think that's the beginning of his jealousy. Mas naunang naging gang member si Reigan kay Trevor. Reigan persuaded him to join, but Trevor refused, saying he was not ready. In the first year of his reign as a Mobster's kingpin, everything messed up. Trevor betrayed him by sleeping with Reigan's girl"

I blinked my eyes out of surprise. "What?" Tanging reaksyon ko.

"I think you know who it is. She was Reigan's first love. He got cheated on by his lover and also by the person he considered brother"

Saglit akong natahimik. I couldn't imagine Reigan's pain at that time. To be betrayed by someone you trust is painful. It's like you'd rather get yourself killed by the enemy than see the person you cared about the most stab you in the back. Reigan must have been through a lot.

"Is it Kelly Rozz?" Siya agad ang taong pumasok sa utak ko dahil minsang nabanggit sa akin ni Kaden na may past silang dalawa.

"Her name is not yet Kelly Rozz back then. It's Diana Rose"

Diana? Even her name is beautiful.

"I wouldn't go into details. I think that's enough you need to know" Kaiden gazed at me with a smile. He stood up and patted my head. "It's getting late, Alexi. You should go back to your dorm. Ihahatid na kita"

I bit my lower lip to keep myself from smiling widely. Taranta akong tumayo nang mapagtanto kong kanina pa pala kami nandito.

"Uh no, malapit lang naman" tanggi ko.

"It's rude for a man to let a woman walk in the middle of the night" he insisted. "Let me just trail you behind"

Wala sa sarili akong tumango at naunang maglakad. Ramdam ko na naman nakasunod siya sa likuran ko. I lifted my eyes to the dark sky to distract myself. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi pansinin ang paglakas ng tibok ng puso ko. He never changed. He's still the gentleman Kaiden I know. Ilang minuto din kaming naglakad hanggang sa makarating ako sa tapat ng dorm building namin. Bago tuluyang pumasok ay humarap ako sa kanya. He's standing within few meters from me. Napansin ko ang pagkunot ng noo nito dahil sa bigla kong paghinto.

Until I found myself walking towards him. I stopped midway leaving a meter of distance between us. Nakatitig lamang ito sa akin nang may pagtataka sa kanyang mukha. Bumilis na naman ang tibok ng puso dahil sa mga titig niya.

I'm aware that I still have feelings for him. How can I prevent it from developing? He's the first ever gangster who saved me, who showed kindness, and who changed my perception about gangsters. That not all gangsters are bad. He's the first gangster I danced with at Bob's. I remember it all too well. He's just one of the nicest people I have met, whom the world is fortunate to have.

"I like you" nasabi ko din ang mga salitang tinatanggi ng isip ko. I gaslighted myself that it's just a small admiration that nothing to be bothered of but I realized it's more than that.

"You don't have to say anything. I just say this in case I lost my chance to profess my feelings. I hope we'll stay friends and nothing will change, Kaiden"

Of course that's all on my mind. I didn't say that. I just imagined myself confessing to the person I admire the most. Nanatili lang akong nakatayo sa harap nito habang siya naman ay naguguluhang nakatingin sa akin.

"Do you have something to say?" Kaiden confusedly asked.

"Mag-iingat ka" sambit ko at ngumiti sa kanya. He puzzledly nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks"

'Yon lamang ang sinabi ko sa kabila ng mga salitang nais lumabas sa aking bibig. Besides, it wouldn't change anything. I already knew whom his heart belongs. I continue walking until I paused. There I saw Reigan, standing. Masama itong nakatingin sa akin ngunit tinatago niya lamang sa blanko niyang ekspresyon. What is he doing here?

Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Kaiden. Bahagya itong nagulat nang makita so Reigan. "Oh, Reigan. Ikaw pala"

Reigan smiled a bit. "Kanina ka pa hinahanap ng ibang Co-Mobs natin. Better go back to our quarters"

Tumango si Kaiden at tumingin sa akin para magpaalam. Tinanguan ko lang ito bilang tugon. Pinanood ko ang papalayo nitong pigura. I awkwardly gazed at Al Capone. Naiilang ako sa paraan ng pagtitig nito kaya nilagpasan ko na lamang siya. He held me by the arm causing my steps to halt.

"Do you still like him?"

Hindi ako nagpakita ng kahit anong reaksyon mula sa tanong niya. Bagkus, inalis ko ang kamay niya sa braso ko. "What if I do?"

Tumaas ang gilid ng labi nito. "Then I won't let you two end up together"

______

Felicity is officially our roommate. Now I'm living with the ghost and a human. Ayos naman ang pagtira ni Felicity sa amin. May ilang bagay nga lang na nakakapanibago. Felicity took Joan's space on the double deck. Nasa taas ko siya at nasa babang part naman ako. There was a time that I'm stretching my arms after waking up and her head suddenly appeared on my sight with her long hair hanging upside down. Napasigaw ako sa gulat.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib habang nakatitig sa kanya. "Nakakagulat naman, Felicity" I muttered under my breath.

She just smiled with her teeth showing which makes her creepier even more. Napabangon din si Coleen at masamang nakatingin sa aming dalawa dahil alimpungatan ito.

"Why you need to shout" inaantok nitong sambit bago bumalik sa pagkakatulog.

Minsan din akong muntik madulas sa CR dahil sa biglang pagsulpot ni Felicity sa harap ko na parang multo. Mahaba ang suot nitong puting dress at natatakpan ng mahaba niyang buhok ang maputla niyang mukha kaya kahit sino ay aakalaing multo ang nasa harap nila.

"Is Felicity portraying herself like a ghost?" Pasimple kong tanong kay Coleen. Parehas kaming nakatingin kay Felicity na kasaluyang nakasalampak sa sofa. Pabaliktad itong nakaupo. Nakapatong ang dalawang paa sa headrest at nakababa naman ang ulo sa sahig pati ang itim na itim niyang buhok. Kasalukuyan itong nagbabasa. Kita kita ko ang napakaputla nitong balat na animo'y kahit minsan ay hindi naarawan. Bukod doon ay maputi din ito kaya mas lalo itong nagmukhang maputa.

"No" sagot ni Coleen. "That's her natural self. Soon you'll be used to her style"

I grimaced as I let out a sigh. I wonder when will that happen. I hate these abrupt shocks she sends to me. I might get a heart attack in the future.

"There will be a Mortal Combat tonight" she suddenly stated as she closed the book. Probably done reading. "Will you guys attend?"

My forehead creased, looking at her with a surprised look as I echoed what she said. "Mortal Combat?"

Coleen paced towards the kitchen, opening the fridge to get some water. "Ask us if we have the option not to go and I'll just lock myself up here the whole night"

Another sigh came from my mouth, hoping it would get my lungs cleaned since I always practice unaware breathing exercises. We don't have a choice. Kailan ba kami binigyan ng Sonkan ng pagpipilian. Same drill as before. We cannot refuse to go because they'll lock the whole dormitory building.

"What's today?" Tanong ko sa hangin.

"Friday" si Coleen ang sumagot.

Maya maya'y tumunog ang kampana. Siguro aakalain ng iba na may chapel o simbahan dito pero wala. Galing lang ang tunog na 'yon sa kung saan na naghahatid ng indikasyon na kailangan na naming lumabas sa kanya kanyang dormitoryo.

"Mukhang magsisimula na" mahinang sambit ni Felicity.

**********

Thanks for reading!