Charlotte "I don't want him. But my body does."

I really was doing it. Literally. Crawled to a man I hate, knowing that it would end with my orgasm. And I started to be mad at myself for it. Because... it's weird? Not a good argument because everything about him was weird in my life. Our first meeting, wedding, wedding night. Feelings that resembled love and then emptiness and hatred.

But if he decided to repeat our meeting like 6 years ago, then who am I to refuse it? After all, if I get off this table or say even a word, then he will win. And no one can defeat the queen of snakes. Me. "You're so obedient." My chest rose and fell sharply next to his face as I finally crawled over. "I should have challenged you more often."

Cade provokes me, and he knows how to do it right. But he doesn't understand that I'm different. My heart is cold and the fragments from it can hurt anyone around me. Because he broke me. And it doesn't matter whether I spread my legs in front of him or not. Because I will still have only one feeling - hatred.

This connects us. Because sometimes this feeling is even stronger than love. We chase to take revenge, kill or hurt our enemies. We want them to be as hurt as we were and we ourselves do not notice how we become monsters. I did not want to be a monster. But I became one. Or always was.

My thoughts under his thoughtful gaze simply evaporated when his large hand grabbed me by the waist. I sharply sucked in air when my butt ended up on top and my legs were on his shoulders. There you go. Again.

"Good girl. Spread your legs more and put them on my shoulders. I was waiting for it too long, baby." My legs only had time to widen a little when he didn't wait any longer, squeezing my thigh, forcing me to lie completely on my back.

Cade's fingers lifted my dress so fast I could hear the fabric tearing. That asshole, I liked it but I immediately stopped thinking or even breathing as I felt his hot breath on my wet pussy sending a chill. «No panties there? Such a dangerous girl, are you, krasavica?" I know, he smirked. I could feel it. My fingers tried to grab the edge of the table but the only thing I could do was dig my heels into his shoulder blades. It was like a sign for him to immediately touch my flesh with his tongue.

I moaned so loudly that I felt like I was drowning in hell. In him. I felt like he was tempting me to say a word because he was licking every drop of my arousal too slowly, not even touching my clit. This bastard wants me to beg him but I will never do that. Instead, I am ready to fuck his face myself if necessary, but for now I am ready to give in to pleasure.

"You're so beautiful and delicious." He muttered and again his head was lost between my legs but now Cade began to suck my clit with such hatred that I saw stars. It was as if he felt that during these 10 months not only his eyes and mouth felt my pussy which is not surprising because I married John.

And then my heels hit his back harder when his tongue finally entered me. Oh. My. God. He's really killing me. The very first evening he fucks me with his tongue and I realized that this is his best way to torture me because only this man can give me such pleasure. I'm a terrible woman, John is sleeping not far away and I'm lying on my back with my legs spread in front of... almost my ex-husband. But I've never been a good girl. I've always been bad. "Now." He immediately added two fingers, filling me completely, making my eyes roll back. "I give you permission to scream my name."

I closed my mouth, feeling like I was practically doing what he wanted again. If he thinks he can shut me up completely, he's a complete idiot. "If we're going to play this game, don't forget that the ball is on my court." I pressed myself harder against his mouth, feeling the orgasm and keeping him silent. "Remember, it's not you fucking me, it's me fucking you."

That's what I meant, Cade is holding the lighter, I'm going to start the fire, he's holding the gun but I'm going to shoot and if his mouth is on my pussy then I'm going to fuck his face. That's the way girls like me are. Bad girls.

And here it is. I felt how hard he pushed away from me with his guilty fingers and bit right in the right place so that the orgasm would overcome me in one second. No, I did not see stars, bright and light. I saw fire - red dark, dangerous and something that can describe my life. The juices of my ID flowed out of me and I just tried to lock myself in any room as quickly as possible to get rid of how well Cade knows my body.

As soon as the fog cleared, I raised myself up on my elbows. "Did you know you can be such a bitch sometimes?" He cheekily began to lick his fingers. "Sometimes? I'm always a bitch." I carefully climbed off of him, feeling the pain between my thighs. "Oh, and yes, you were a good little slut." I patted his shoulder, wanting to hide as quickly as possible. No matter where.

"Don't you dare just go away right not." I grinned halfway up the stairs, turning my body slightly. "What? I can't hear you? Mr. Kirilov..." Step by step. "I." Step. "Don't." Step. "Follow." Step. "Orders." My eyes burned through his green. "I'm not your wife anymore. And soon I won't officially be your wife in fact. Just dare to touch me again while you think that you are the king of these people, just try to remember who are the queen here."

Not wanting to pay any more attention to him, I opened the first room and slipped inside, feeling like my heart was ready to not only run a sprint in speed but also that I was short of air in this cold space.

I fell right on the floor in a flat dress, barefoot, feeling tears. Strong girls don't cry, or they do it alone in the dark. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he would take revenge on me. I'm not afraid, but I'm scared of how far we can go in our war. Do you even know what real enemies are? Not those who just mock and then kiss, denying feelings. Nope.

These are the ones who use any physical contact to control their enemy for at least 5 minutes. Power. That's what we want from this. I shouldn't have left and he wouldn't have started this but that's where my stubborn ass ended up. On the cold floor of the ambassador of the perfect orgasm with a taste of chilli pepper.

My body doubled over, hiding my swollen eyes in the ruts. This is a disaster. Are all our supposedly first meetings going to end on the table? It's been too long a day... a meeting with the past, knives, wounds, mouth fucking and now I'm back in a dangerous deal.

Is it too fast? This is a man with the last name Kirilov, I didn't have time to blink before I became his wife, so why be so surprised that I again ended up in the hands of my villain. But I must find out the truth, because if this man is involved in what happened to me on the day of escape, then I will burn the body of the traitor after 24 hours of torture from me personally, get a divorce and live in this beautiful house.

"Miss, how many times do I have to tell you that sitting on the floor is not very good idea?" I shuddered as I felt the warmth of the blanket on my shoulders and Natasha's body next to mine.

I sniffled and immediately my head fell on her legs, wanting to smell lavender again and feel the touch of her palms on my hair. "Our last meeting was exactly like this." She started stroking my head. "I don't like this kind of deja vu." "S-sorry." I stuttered.

"Why do you both torture each other?" Natasha exhaled sharply. "So young and so broken. It hurts me now just like it did then." I curled up even tighter into a little ball, not wanting to remember the pain I felt. But that's when I stopped telling myself that crying was a weakness for me. After all, I'm human and every drop is worth it, whether it's done behind a closed door or in Natasha's arms."

***

10 months ago...

I opened the door to Natasha's small room knowing that she was not sleeping and was knitting another blanket. "Melissa?" Her eyes widened in horror, and that was the last thing I saw before I fell limply onto the carpet.

"Oh my God, my girl!" She took my weight on her with such care, like a mother. I want my mother so much. That's why I'm here. With the woman who could replace her for me. That's the only thing I wanted, feeling blood everywhere as she took my whole life.

"Leave." I croaked. "I need to get away from him." My eyelids closed but I knew that hell would continue and I would survive because Natasha would not let me die but I was leaving for the world of darkness with a slight smile on my lips when I heard: "I'll help you, just keep breathing, okay honey?"

***

"You saved me." "And here you are again." "I've always been weird." My eyelids began to close at the cozy scent of the flower. "And that's why you love me." She laughed loudly. "It's impossible not to love you." "But it's easy to hate."

"Then why are you here?" Bitterness filled our space. "I must take revenge." "You really want this." "More than anything in the world." I removed the last drop of tear from my cheek with my finger. "Maybe this way I can finally live further away from all this. "But this is your life." There was sadness and a desperate obsession to save me in her voice.

Is it mine? In my almost 24 years, I have lived completely three different lives. An obedient daughter of her father who will always help, the queen of the head of the Russian mafia who was even more dangerous than her husband and a good girl who doesn't even feel anything for her husband. Perhaps I'm just a villain or I have a strange tendency to love power and violence. Because she's right. I love it. That's why I'm here again.

Natasha didn't want to break the silence anymore, that's how she expressed disapproval, although she understood my motives perfectly well. Maybe I will die, but I will take revenge. I used to think that my kidnapping was just because of mafia games to measure cocks and so on, but if someone specially planned it knowing the consequences, then no one will dare even breathe in my direction.

"You're back." I heard her, already almost falling asleep. "Yeah, you are right. I'm back and soon everyone will know about it." I managed to answer, but my voice was already too sleepy and that's why I fell asleep. But there were no more nightmares there. Because now what used to make me afraid is now much worse. This is my reality.