AEGIS'S P.O.V

Sta. Stah. Stah. Stahh. Ztahh. Ztahh. Ztahhg.

I snapped the rubber haur band against my wrist over and over again. Each time harder and harder. I need to feel. I need to feel. My mind echoed " Feel, Feel," with each sharp sting echoing through the silence of my room. It wasn’t enough. I snapped it again. And again. Each time, the elastic dug deeper into my skin and left welts that darkened and split. My breathing was steady, but my thoughts were mumbled and chaos.

Had I become a monster? So much of a monster that Zach thought I’d kill his mate? I stared at the bruises forming on my wrist, the faint line of blood seeping through one of the deeper cuts. My mind replayed the moment over and over. Zach’s wild eyes. His stance. His words: He thought I would hurt her. He thought I was ruthless enough to kill his mate. Snap. The band dug deeper.

A knock on my door pulled me out. “Come in.”

Noah stepped inside holding a stack of papers. He glanced at me then at my wrist. He knows.

“I brought the reports you asked for,” he said, setting them on the desk. He hesitated a bit lingering by the door.

“Noah,” I said quietly, stopping him as he turned to leave. “Why didn’t he trust me?” He froze then faced me. “What?”

“Zach,” I said, my voice trembling. “Why didn’t he trust me? Did he really think I’d kill his mate? Does everyone think I’m that much of a monster?”

His expression softened. “Aegis...”

“Answer me.”

"Please."

He sighed and sat down the edge of my bed. “Zach wasn’t thinking. He was acting on instinct. His wolf was in control. If It could’ve been me or Emery or anyone, he would’ve reacted the same way. It wasn’t you.”

"But it wasn’t anyone else,” I whispered. “It was me. His Alpha. And he looked at me like I was…” My voice trailed off. I couldn’t say the word. Noah leaned forward, his voice low. “You’re not a monster, Aegis. You’re a leader. And sometimes leaders make decisions that no one else can. Zach knows that. We all do.” My hands trembled as I looked away. “It doesn’t feel like it.” He sighed, then nodded toward my wrist. “Let me help you clean that.”

I flinched but didn’t resist as he grabbed the first-aid kit from the bedside table. He sat beside me, gently cleaning the cuts. “You know,” he said after a moment, “there’s a story about a feather that Elijah used to tell me.” I frowned, unsure where he was going with this. “In our lineage, when an honorable person dies, a feather falls from the sky. It’s a sign of their purity, their goodness. Oh Elijah was so obsessed with that story when we were young. We both were but if even he didn't, I know I...”

He smiled faintly. “The last man it happened to? He thought he was the worst of us. He carried guilt and pain, but the pack knew better. The people saw him for who he truly was.” He wrapped the bandage around my wrist and met my eyes. “You might think you’re a monster, Aegis. But to people like me, to this pack? You’re a miracle. You gave us hope, and we love you for it.”

I didn’t respond, couldn’t find the words. Noah stood still for a bit. “Get some rest, Alpha. We need you.”

He had almost left the room when I spoke " Elijah. He got a feather."

He turned around and our eyes met. His shjuned with tears and love. I think mine would have been filled too but I had lost the ability a long time again. Sad girls may cry. But destroyed ones fucking smiled.

--By lunchtime, I forced myself to leave my room. The cook beamed when she saw me enter the kitchen. “You’re eating today,” she said warmly bustling over with a plate. “That’s good. We need you strong and healthy.” I nodded, offering her a faint smile.

The dining room was already noisy when I arrived. I opted out of dining with the other pack members for just eating in the main building for the Pack authorities. Mostly for my sanity and even this was testing me.

Noah and Emery were bickering over something ridiculous. “You must be insane if you think pineapple belongs on pizza,” Noah argued. “It’s the perfect combination of sweet and savory that your incomplete brain can't understand!” Emery shot back.

“Sweet doesn’t belong on pizza!” I sat down, silently eating as their argument escalated. “ That's enough,” I said, my voice calm but firm.

They both sat down immediately still muttering under their breaths. The room went silent when Zach walked in with his mate. The rogue clung to his arm, trembling. Her eyes darted around the room, finally landing on me. She froze, her fear palpable.

I smirked into my food, watching her out of the corner of my eye.

“Gamma Zach,” I said after a tense pause, “this is a dining room. You either sit to eat or leave.” Zach quickly pulled out a chair and guided his mate to sit beside him. She tried to hide behind him, her hands shaking. He cleared his throat. “Alpha, I— I wanted to apologize. For earlier. I couldn’t control my wolf. I’ll accept any punishment you think is fair.”

I chuckled darkly. The entire table tensed. They all knew I only laughed like that when I was angry. “All is forgotten,” I said, my tone light. “I understand. Your wolf made you lose control.”

Zach relaxed slightly. “But,” I added, my voice dropping, “ you'll learn to control your wolf, Zach. Or I will.” He gulped, nodding quickly.

Then I turned my attention to the rogue. “And you,” I said, my voice cold, “ Hurt Zach and i'll make you wish you’d never been born. I’ll personally ensure you die a slow and endless death. Do you understand me?” Her eyes widened in terror, and she nodded rapidly.

I leaned back with a smile, "Welcome to the pack.” The room was silent. No one dared to move. I glanced around. “Why isn’t anyone eating?”

They quickly dug into their food and that eased the tension slightly. The peace didn’t last long. Noah and Emery resumed their argument, this time about whether cereal was a soup. “It’s not soup!” Noah snapped.

"You idiot, it has liquid and solids in a bowl,” Emery countered. “It’s soup.”

“Cereal is cereal!”

I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips.

The doors burst open, and Brianna ran in lit with excitement.

“You won’t believe this!” she exclaimed. “The King just sent an invitation to the royal ball. For us. But a special one for you, Aegis!” The room erupted in murmurs. Brianna continued, “A royal guard delivered it personally, with black roses, a card, and gifts.”

Everyone stared at me, waiting. I shrugged and continued eating. “ Well i hope the guard hasn’t gone far.”

Brianna frowned. “Why?”

“Because he'll need to take it all back,” I said simply. “What? Why?” she asked sharply.

“Because I'm not going.”

"You're not what?"

“No,” I replied. Her eyes narrowed. “Oh yes, you are. Even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.”

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