[ On Friday morning the Ndlovu's had returned me home... I tried convincing my parents to not go on with these negotiations but my dad being my dad he refused . I had to do my hair that day ]

Saturday:

I woke up early on Saturday morning, feeling a sense of unease and uncertainty. Today was the day that a group of strangers come into our house bearing gifts and a proposal for my head and marriage. My parents had told me about everything about the Ndlovu family , they come from a very powerful in one of the richest family KZN

I started getting ready and dressed for the day , I couldn't help but feel less sense of resentment towards my family for agreeing to this whole arrangement. I started questioning why Nkosi chose me, didn't you know that I had dreams and aspirations of my own ,what about choosing my own husband one that I love not one that I'm forced to love-tears started rolling down my cheeks , I questioned live at the very moment but I had to get up and take it

I made my way downstairs where my parents were busy preparing for the guests , umah and bo auntie cooking cooking a storm in the kitchen and some outside , ubaba , no malume were busy sitting up the tents the marquee , and slaughtering the meat . An even planner was there making sure everything looked elegant and beautiful [ if only I was getting married to the love of my life maybe I'd be happy]

Ma'M : Nokukhanya woza uzosiza .

I reluctantly make my way into the kitchen feeling like I was trapped in a nightmare. As I was helping the woman with cooking I couldn't help I think about how I was going to get out of the situation. I didn't want to marry him and i certainly didn't and won't accept lobola from him

As the guest begin to arrive I feel a sense of anxiety worship for me. I knew that the Ndlovu family would be bringing gifts and money and that my parents will be expecting me to accept them. In the way out of the situation no matter what it took even if it meant losing my parents.

The ceremony began , and the elders of the two families introduced themselves and explained the purpose of the gathering. Then, the Ndlovu family presented my family with a beautifully crafted wooden chest, adorned with in intricate carvings and beautiful colour pattern

But I was not impressed. I knew that these gifts were just a way of buying, of paying for my hand in marriage and I was dating mine to make it clear that I would not be bought .

....