I looked up at the sky again, I'm not sure how many times that day, before looking ahead. I reached up to zipper my jacket when I felt the cold air.

It was going to rain...

After answering the phone call from an unknown number and discovering it was my father's new wife calling me, she said her name was Prae.

When she referred to herself as my aunt, I called her Aunt Prae. To be honest, I already knew her name. I used to check her Facebook secretly long before, just to see what my father's new family looked like. Aunt Prae said she had something she wanted to talk to me about. I hesitated for a moment before agreeing.

I felt it was something I shouldn't avoid. I should go see her. At first, I was worried about what was wrong with my father. I immediately called Uncle Kong, but Uncle Kong said that my father was fine and nothing was wrong.

I haven't told my friends yet, thinking that if I do, they will worry.

No, first I'll go talk to Aunt Prae and find out what it is, then I'll tell them.

If I tell them first, I'm sure they'll come to see me. It's my problem and I have to deal with it myself. I just want to try to deal with it myself, no matter what it is..... I'll get through it.

At a small coffee shop not too far from my dorm, I luckily got there before it started to rain. I could barely see anything outside because of the rain curtain.

I walked slowly towards the store, looking around. A woman in a white jumpsuit with short brown hair that reached her shoulders was sitting, with a little girl on her lap. I walked over and sat down on the opposite side.

"...Hi."

"You're Phoon?" I nodded, using a bit of courage to move my gaze to the person in front of me. I don't know why...but I could feel the warmth, the sadness in her eyes and a slight smile.

"Would you like to order something?"

"Ah... sure." I was silent for a while and opened the menu to ask the waiter for hot chocolate because it was quite cold at that moment. When I finished ordering the drinks, I stared at the little girl sleeping soundly in her mother's arms.

"Her name is Nong Fai. I've been a little busy lately, so I don't even have a babysitter to help me, so I brought her with me."

"Oh, okay."

Amidst the silence between us, surprisingly, I didn't feel the awkwardness I should have felt, and the sound of the heavy rain outside made me feel a little more relaxed. I took the chocolate the waiter had just served me and drank it.

"Typhoon."

"Yes?"

"You... you don't mind meeting me?"

"No of course not."

"I don't know where to start." It looked like Aunt Prae was only in her thirties, but she looked much younger. Her sweet face showed even more concern.

"You know I don't want to upset you by talking to me about this."

"I know it's hard to have to talk about this with you. You know that Rit... I mean, your father, remarried, right?"

"Yes."

"But he never told me he'd had a family before." Her soft voice was tinged with sadness, and her melancholy eyes made me feel depressed too.

"I just found out a few days ago."

"Aunt Prae... Aren't you okay with Dad having had a family before?" The other person smiled slightly and shook her head gently.

Why is she such a sweet and kind woman, does she just look like me or does she look like Fan? It's like seeing Torfan in her thirties sitting in front of me.

"I'm fine...as long as he didn't lie and didn't leave you like this. Am I right in thinking...he left you?"

I didn't dare answer, I pursed my lips uncomfortably, what should I do? I didn't expect to be asked this. If I tell the truth, Dad will look bad in Aunt Prae's eyes, but if I lie?

"Can you tell me the truth...did he take care of you?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm going to divorce him. Even though our daughter is little, he... he..." Aunt Prae pursed her lips tightly before clear tears slowly fell from her eyes. I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I quickly grabbed a handkerchief and wiped away her own tears. That made the little girl in her arms wake up.

"Oh, oh, mommy woke you up? I'm sorry."

A little girl this age would normally be fussing and upset, but she was completely silent and looked up at her mother with innocent eyes.

"What happened?"

"I found out he had someone else."

The other person's response made me feel a pang in my chest. Aunt Prae's sad face and eyes made me feel even more hurt.

Dad, why...?

"Even though..." She cried even louder. I reached out to hold her hand to comfort her. That hand squeezed mine gently as if she wanted someone to comfort her. I don't know why I felt like crying too.

"Although our daughter... she's about to learn to walk on her own."

After a while, Aunt Prae felt better. I only noticed that her face looked exhausted and pale, which was worrisome.

"I'm sorry, Auntie...you ended up crying."

"It's okay," she said quickly. I understood that if Auntie had just found out that Dad had someone else, especially since the girl was still small, it would be the most difficult time for a woman.

"I found out he had another woman. After investigating, I found out he had another child - that was you. I hired someone to investigate everything, so I found out that he...he left you alone, right Because he sold the house in Phuket and you have no relatives."

"..."

"Tell me everything. I'm making the most important decision of my life."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want my daughter to have such a bad father. I want to know the whole truth about him. If you say he's a good father, that means he'll be a good father to my daughter, too. Don't lie to me. If he is a bad father, tell me. Don't let my daughter have a bad father like that."

I looked at the little girl who knew nothing. Those round, innocent eyes were looking at me. Finally, I decided to tell her the whole truth.

I can't lie to her...

I can't hurt this little girl. I cannot allow an innocent child to suffer such an ordeal. I decided to tell the whole story, really the whole narrative, as far as my memory goes. This includes what I have endured since childhood, my father's punishments, the tales woven into my dreams, my mother's story, the revelation of not being his biological child, and even the account of Phi Fah's family, which my father now orders me to falsify.

Aunt Prae was silent. She raised her hand to gently massage her temples. Her face grew even paler.

"...So... have you made up your mind?"

"I will divorce him. Fai..." she called softly to her daughter and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "From now on, it will just be the two of us, mother and daughter. Don't worry. I'll take good care of you. Don't be afraid of losing your father."

"But being so little... she must have a father, right?"

"I grew up in a family with a very bad father. When he came into the family, everything went wrong many times. So I secretly thought that if it was just the two of us, mother and daughter, everything could have been better. That made me think that..."

"It's better to have no father than a bad father."

Although her words sounded as if the person in front of me was a strong woman, the tears and pained expression showed that her heart was breaking inside. How many more people will my father have to break...?

"But all that...it was just the past, dad could have made it better," I said softly. Aunt Prae smiled and shook her head slightly, wiping her tears.

"Anyway, he lied...and another thing I really can't accept is that he had someone else."

That's right, having someone else is something that is really hard to forgive.

"How can I trust that man anymore? The truth is he never loved anyone but himself. What about Fai? Will he love Fai? Will he be able to take care of Fai? Or will he abandon our family one day? You're his son too. How could he do that to his own son? Will he do the same to Fai someday? How can I trust him? Why is he the pillar of this unstable family? That man...he can't be a father to anyone."

I talked to Aunt Prae for a while, she had already decided to divorce Dad. Actually, I thought Aunt Prae had already made up her mind before our meeting, but she just wanted to hear the truth from me. I suddenly thought that when my father found out that Aunt Prae and I had met, he would be very angry with me. But in reality, the person he should be most angry with should be herself.

From the day Aunt Prae decided to divorce Dad, her life with her daughter would change completely. But I think... she had chosen what she thought was best for her daughter.

That smile was mixed with sadness, but it was also full of determination. It's not easy for a woman, but love always makes people stronger. We never know how strong we can be, until strength is the last thing we need. And the image of a mother hugging her little daughter in her arms made my heart feel warm.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"May I?"

"Can you consider Fai your little sister?" said Aunt Prae with a gentle smile. "You may not like me because I'm your father's new wife, but right now...I feel like we could be in the same boat. We've met the same bad people. If I had known he already had you, I would have wanted you to come live with us."

"...You want me to come live with you?"

"Hmm. How can you leave your little sister alone like that?"

I couldn't help but smile at the sincere kindness.

"Then... Can I hug her?" I said before taking Fai.

I love children... so much that I couldn't help but hug her so tightly that Aunt Prae couldn't help but fall in love with the image in front of her.

My little sister...

Her name is also Fai.

Torfan (Dream), Typhoon and Fai. We are siblings... Fan has always loved me even though she knew we had different mothers. I will love Fai as much as Fanhas loved me.

My little Fai.

"Aw... Aw" as she can't talk yet, she can only make sounds with her throat. Since we've been together, she hasn't cried at all.

"She's such a good little girl, Auntie."

"Fai, what do you want? What about you, Phoon? What about Fai?"

"Oh, Fai? You're adorable."

"Fai seems to like Phoon," Aunt Prae laughed softly. I couldn't help but smile broadly. "She usually cries if someone else holds her."

Big brother Phoon loves Fai too!

I played with my younger sister for quite a while until it was time to separate us. Although it was still raining, Auntie Prae had to rush back. We exchanged LINE contacts earlier. I went out to see her off in front of the store, when I saw that the car coming to pick her up was parked far away, I went out and accompanied her to the car.

"There is no need for you to accompany us."

"How is that possible? You'll both get sick," I said as I took off my jacket and put it on Aunt Prae. She hugged it tightly before walking to the car.

"So...we'll leave first. Thank you for coming to see me. Thank you for telling me the truth. See you soon."

"All right, all right. See you later." I smiled. As I was about to leave, Aunt Prae said something as if she had just remembered something . "Oh, yes... You told me that Rit always told you to do what he told you to do, right?" I nodded in response. "I think your sister probably wants you to believe in yourself more. Now you can choose your own path. Because the person who will be with you for the rest of your life is not him, but yourself."

_____

Aunt Prae's words before we parted have been echoing in my head for almost ten minutes. I went back to the original tent because it was still raining and I wanted to run back and look at the empty coffee cup as evidence that someone had been sitting there.

Choose your own path...

I don't think that word just meant something about my dad....

I pulled out my phone and looked up information on university faculties, and faculties related to photography, along with information on new applications.

The path I'm on now is not my path... It's been hard to stick to it in the past. I didn't want to be a veterinarian or a doctor, so I didn't do very well in my studies throughout my year in vet school. But if I leave here, I will have to distance myself from my friends.

No...

I'm sure they would all tell me to follow my own dreams. I was lost in my own thoughts for almost half an hour, sitting and watching the rain pouring down nonstop outside amidst the chaos in the cafeteria. In fact, I never doubted what I like. I knew from the beginning what I wanted to be, but I chose to pretend, even knowing the obvious. Come to think of it... I've been pretty cruel to my dreams.

____

Today is a holiday and it's raining. It's about ten o'clock in the morning. I guess my friends haven't woken up yet. It's too early to wake up on a rainy holiday like this. I really want to tell them about Aunt Prae.

I wrote in the group chat that I have something good to tell them. As soon as the message was sent, only one person read it first.

-Phoon- : Who read it, why did you wake up so early?

SS💫 : Me. I haven't slept yet.

SS💫 : It's almost ten o'clock in the morning.

-Phoon- : Go to bed.

SS💫: What good news do you have, cat?

-Phoon- : I'll tell them all at once.

-Phoon- : Go get some rest first.

SS💫: No. Tell me now. I want to know first.

Then Daotok called out to me. I grimaced in surprise before answering. The voice on the other end of the line sounded tired, but we're used to it. North said Daotok is like Phi Jo in the sense that he's a workaholic although sometimes he doesn't rush through anything. But with his habit of working hard, I have seen Daotok looking exhausted often. Especially lately, he sure hasn't rested at all. Why do you have to force yourself? He's so small. He could fall over just by walking.

"Sleep first."

[The work isn't finished yet.]

"Then, can we talk?"

[We can talk. I'm taking a break. My eyes are very tired.]

"Oh... Don't drink any more coffee."

[... Oh, Cat]

"What's wrong?"

[No one has ever forbidden me to drink coffee. It makes me happy.]

"Okay, but don't drink too much."

[The Cat is so kind.]

"What kind of kindness are you talking about? It's normal."

[It's not normal. The Cat is so kind. Did you know that?]

"... Really?" I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. No one had ever said this to me before. After talking for a while, Dao went back to the good news about me. I told Dao everything in an excited and happy tone.

[See, the Cat is really kind].

"Why?"

[Just think how many people love their step siblings and stepmothers. Normal people hate it when their parents have another family].

"Ah... That's true. But I don't see it that way."

[Because you cat, you're very gentle].

"... gentle?" I said shyly. Daotok is a very gentle man.

To me, all his words are nice. Dao once said that because his family taught him to talk like that, if he used foul language, he would get his hand slapped. North was the first person Dao spoke rudely to. But then Dao liked to tease North by speaking more politely to him, because when he did, North looked puzzled, as if rudeness had been his lifelong behavior.

In truth, Daotok is far from bad. Without nice individuals like Ter and North, Dao would never have chosen to hang out with us. When we were together, Dao only cared about us. He hardly spoke a word to anyone else.

North once said that Dao was the opposite of him. Everyone agreed. How dare you compare yourself to Dao? But Dao really likes North, because he said he is not a talkative person, but when he met North, and he didn't talk much because North talked too much.

[It's good that Aunt Prae is a nice person, and it's good that she has moved away from that person].

"I know, I hope it gets better," I said, "I'm thinking of dropping out of school."

[Are you going to study photography?]

"I guess so. I've been hesitating all my life, but I've made up my mind. It's too bad I can't be with my friends, though..."

[No matter what you say, we'll still be friends no matter where you go to study.]

"Hmm..." I smiled slightly, a warm feeling spread in my chest.

[Cat. You've gotten stronger.]

"Why?"

[Before... when I first met the cat, I thought you were attached to Ter, Foam and North. It was like friends were your smile. I knew you needed friends to be happy, but now you've chosen your own path and you don't put others before yourself like before. others before yourself like you used to].

"Yes... Finally, I have chosen my own path. But I still want to have you all by my side."

[Cat... you already exist. Everybody loves cats. We love you too cat].

"I love you too."

I don't know where the tears came from or why, maybe it was all the warm feelings I've received since I talked to Aunt Prae until I talked to Daotok now, and I can't help but cry.

But they are not tears of sorrow like before. This is the first time I feel like I want to thank myself sincerely....

Thank you for being strong. Thank you for deciding to keep fighting that day. Thank you for not giving up no matter what.

Thank you, Phoon....

[Make a portfolio and post lots of beautiful pictures taken by you. You will definitely pass the exam and the interview].

"That's right. I'm excited just thinking about showing my work."

[The December application period is coming up soon.]

"Is it nationwide? Then I have to send it in."

[Yes, you do pick it as the first choice. Definitely. Previous years' scores weren't very high].

"Excellent. I'll have to go back and read the high school content again."

Dao and I were chatting casually. At this point, we were talking about studying photography or the fact that my university has a faculty that specializes in photography.

[Um, yeah... What about Phi Tonfah?]

"Why?"

[Well... What's Cat going to do next? Anyway, about your dad...]

"I think it will be all right," I said, speaking from my true feelings.

"I think this is not because of Dad's orders, but because I love myself more. I choose to do it because I love me."

[...]

"And all of a sudden, if I were to tell Phi Fah everything, it wouldn't be right, would it?"

[Yes, it would be quite strange.]

"Yeah, to suddenly go and say, Phi...I am the person in the letters, I did it because my father told me not to tell you the truth, and my father is so and so...that wouldn't be right."

[...hmm]

"I have already chosen my path, I want to study photography. As for the matter of my father and Phi Fah.... I think going slowly would be best for all parties. We are getting closer and closer. And like the person in the letter, if one day the truth is revealed, then I won't be afraid at all."

[I understand. It's better to go slowly. Some things have their own time. Don't rush anything].

"Yes... I'll let the relationship between the two of you grow slowly like this."

_____

Fah's POV

I looked at the Polaroid photo I was holding in my hand of a pink flower blooming in a pot with a message written in black ink below the photo that read, "The flowers I planted are blooming beautifully."

I couldn't help but smile at the caption. This was the first time he had taken a picture of something other than the snacks I had bought him. Like I said, I had asked about him before, but he didn't respond.

But at least now I know he grows flowers and would like to grow trees. Judging by the fact that a flower is hard to grow, he grows them so beautifully. But why did he send this photo? I thought he wouldn't send any other photos besides pictures of desserts.

This is something close to him. No need to send it at all. Does it mean he wants me to get a little closer to him? One thing I noticed is that he is a good photographer. In the past, he only took pictures of desserts and didn't require much camera angle. But judging from this flower photo, he is a good photographer.

It is possible that he is a photographer. Polaroid cameras are commonly used. But the person who can take beautiful Polaroid pictures like this must be quite skilled. This means he must be even better with other cameras.

In addition, Polaroids cannot adjust lighting and colors. In the past, he only took pictures of desserts. He probably took them indoors. But when it comes to flowers, you have to take them outside in very bright light. You have to take them under strong sunlight on the balcony with direct sunlight. This is probably more difficult. It's more how to take pictures outdoors.

Does he grow it himself, but not on the balcony?

There was a letter he sent that talked a little about his bedroom. He just said it was too hot in the bedroom these days, so he stayed there? But he didn't plant any trees on the balcony?

... maybe on the rooftop?

Then I guess someone who seems to like to plant trees like him must have a rooftop full of trees. But... Normally the rooftop is a place to store things, why did the dorm owner allow it?

I stared at the picture in my hand as my mind kept thinking of random things. I wasn't trying to find it, I was just analyzing the information I received. The light and shadows were like....

It looked like the picture had been taken early in the morning or late at night.

No, it should have been in the morning. Judging by the flowers blooming so beautifully, he might have a habit of waking up early. He woke up early to tend his plants before getting ready for school....

___

Phoon's POV

I moved the pots and watered the plants in a good mood. Today I got up early again. I went upstairs to take care of my plants early in the morning. As the space on my balcony was not enough to plant trees, I asked the aunt to lend me the roof because I saw that there was still some space left. As the aunt was kind, she allowed me to do so.

I looked at the pots and flowers that were lined up in front of me as a small garden just for Typhoon.

One thing I decided from that day when I met Aunt Prae and talked to Daotok is....

I will not hide any more information about me if Phi Fah wants to know. As I said before, Phi Fah asked me some things, but I didn't answer. But now, I am sure that if the truth is revealed one day, I will accept it myself.

But I won't rush to tell the truth. It mustn't be good for Dad. Anyway, I still love and respect him. I'll let everything take its course. I have already decided and applied for the exam to transfer to study photography. From now on, I will have to re-read high school content to prepare for the exam. But my faculty is also approaching the final exam, so I will probably skip the final to prepare for the transfer exam. Studying for both will definitely ruin everything. There are only a few months left before the transfer exam.

It made me remember what Phi Fah told me about what I should study something I like more. And what Phi Fah said about wanting me to believe in myself still resonates in my head. Phi Fah is another person...who made me dare to do something I love.

I talked to Aunty Prae. She said she still has to work. Now that she had become a single mother, she was a little confused. Aunt Prae said she originally had no status. She was just an ordinary office worker. I started to think that I should do something for my younger sister. At least I want her to study in a good school, meet good friends and be in a good society. But Aunt Prae probably can't pay the expenses alone. I have to work... I have to seriously think about taking photography jobs.

Or should I play the lottery with North?

No, Phoon, no, don't let North dominate you.

I feel like I'm getting more and more ridiculous every day since I've been with North. Oh, my God. I pulled out my Polaroid camera and thought about what I should photograph today to send to Phi Fah. It turned out that, at the very least, I had to take a picture and send it to Phi Fah every day. Before, I only took pictures of desserts, but now I take pictures all the time. I don't know if Phi Fah will like them or not. I never mentions my photos.

Suddenly, a bird flew toward the roof. I slowly bent down to take a picture of the bird. In a moment, it flew away because Polaroids can't capture fast images like digital cameras, so the photo was a bit blurry. But at least I took the photo before the bird flapped its wings.

Suddenly, this bird flew down. It seemed to be in a hurry. It probably hadn't had breakfast yet. If so, you can't beat me because I already had breakfast.

_____

I'm not sure if you like the pictures I took for you. If you don't, please tell me. Hehe. I just made an important decision in my life. I can't say what it is, but thinking about you makes me braver. That's why I want to thank you. Thank you :)

I couldn't help but smile inwardly when I thought about the letter I just sent. Phi Fah, you probably can't guess what it's about. There are many important things in my life, but thinking about him makes me braver, like I said. That's why I want to thank him.

"Phoon, did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That the chocolate Phi Fah sent you cost 17,000 baht."

"Huh, really?!" I grimaced, almost not believing what Ai Ter said.

"¿17.000?"

"Hm... that's right," Ter said, holding up the screen of his phone for me to see.

It was a picture of the same chocolate box Phi Fah gave me, underneath the painting that said $550. Where was I supposed to find it to buy it back? 😪

"I thought you already knew that," North said. "He gave you chocolate a long time ago. I was wondering why you weren't surprised at all."

"How was I supposed to know?"

Seventeen thousand! Why did you have to buy me something so expensive? I wondered why it was so delicious.

"Do you know there's something called Google in our world?" asked Ter, looking at me annoyed. "You didn't think to look it up?"

"How would the cat know about Google, Ter?" said North. "He's still writing letters every day and LINE exists, you know?"

I grimaced in boredom, looking at North, who annoyed me so much.

"This LINE app, Phoon, sends messages really fast. You don't have to wait until morning or night to talk. You can send pictures. You don't need Polaroid. You can make phone calls, you know? You can hear voices. You can make video calls, you know? This phone has a camera, you know? You open the camera and you talk," North said, opening the LINE app for me.

"I know!" I said, pushing the tone lower. That made North laugh, very pleased.

"You talk like I've never used LINE before."

"Hey, I thought you didn't know. Oh, since I saw you sending letters, why don't you try sending pigeons? You could talk more often. Let the pigeons deliver them. You can move to sit by the window and wait for the letters from the pigeons."

"North damned" I shook him, unable to take it anymore. "Why is this idiot so annoying?"

"Why so violent, you know there are laws in this country, right?" said North with an annoyed expression. "You see me as your emotional punching bag? I have two younger brothers to take care of," North said in a slurred voice as he shook him.

"Speaking of brothers, you and Daotok, check this out."

"What do you mean 'you guys and Daotok'?"

"You guys," I pointed to Ter and North. "And this is Dao," then I pointed to Dao. North immediately looked at me and pointed.

"You're not impartial," North said. "Why don't you include Phee Phung Dai with us?"

"Because they are in another group."

"Why, why?" North stood up and began to ruffle Daotok's hair, who was startled. "I'm going to bother your Dao Tok!"

"He's like a problem child, when he gets scolded, he goes and teases other children," I said, laughing a little. Daotok grimaced, but let North continue to ruffle his hair. When North stopped, Daotok smoothed his hair slowly so it wouldn't get fluffy.

"Look, this is my little sister," I said, holding up a picture of Fai. I'd already told everyone, but I'd never shown them a picture. "Isn't she adorable?"

"Okay, but my nephew is more adorable," North said, showing a picture of Nong Non. This guy is as snooty as I am. "Pure and innocent, kids are like blank canvases."

"What's your little sister's name?" asked Ter.

"Fai(*)."

(*) The word "ฝ้ าย" (Fai) in Thai means "cotton". This word is associated with purity, softness and whiteness, as cotton is known for those characteristics. It is a name that can evoke delicacy and tenderness.

"Ah, pure cotton," North said. "One hundred percent cotton." I laughed at North's words. Yes, one hundred percent cotton, really.

"By the way, why is his name Fai? His name rhymes with your sister's name."

(**) Recall that Dream's name in Thai is TorFan, and she was called Fan.

"Her mother's name is Pha Prae, so her daughter's name is Pha Pha" I replied. "When I think about having a younger sister, I feel uncomfortable. What if someone comes to flirt with my younger sister?"

"Relax, your younger sister can't even walk yet" North said with an annoyed face towards me.

"You have time to think about that, though maybe someone will flirt with her since kindergarten. I won't allow it. Oh, if someone cheats on Fai, what will I do, Fai, this big brother, this big brother of yours, this big brother will protect you!"

"Alas, my friend has become Fai's slave."

____

I hurried to the cafeteria when I knew it would be quiet at that hour. Phi Gip smiled at me as usual and handed me a large white paper bag.

"Why is the bag so big?" I said thank you and took it before running back to the dorm to open it. Inside was a neatly wrapped white sweater. I didn't know the brand, but it looked very expensive.

"Phi Fah bought me a sweater..."

I laid the sweater on the bed and rummaged through the bag. I found more snacks in another bag and two pieces of paper. The first one said, "I don't know what you have to be happy about, but congratulations. As for this sweater, consider it a gift."

I smiled even more when I read the message. I told Phi Fah yesterday, and he must have received the message this morning. Does that mean Phi Fah just bought me this sweater?

And the other piece of paper said.

"As for the photos, don't worry. I love every picture you take because they are a gift to me every morning. :)"